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UKFF Rap Battle 2013 - Group A Semi Final

John Matrix

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You have until 09:00 on Friday 19th of July to vote for your favourite rapper.


Each has until that time to submit one 16 line response so you choose to vote blindly, based on the first effort, or you can wait until you've heard both raps.




Shane O' Mac in the semis? This should be a breeze.

He's so fucking dull he brings this forum to its knees.

Your the worst type of wrestling fan, a total fucking goon

Taking stunners on the dance floor as everyone else leaves the room.

You've got a face I'd love to hit... and hit .... and keep hitting

And I'd be totally justified due to your criminal thread shitting

A shoe-in for the the white noise award if there has ever been

I'd love to meet you in person and recreate that Unforgiven scene

You know the one where Gene Hackman kicks fuck out of English Bob

Except Richard Harris was just acting and you're actually a knob

Now I'm sure you're a nice guy and I don't mean to be nasty

But you're just devoid of personality, like a cold Gregg's pasty

Alright once in a while, but I wouldn't want one everyday

But I can choose not to go to Gregg's, you just post anyway

So let this be a lesson for you to heed

And soak up this knowledge whilst I take the lead.


Shane O' Mac Version 2


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Hell of a start, boy, gotta get serious with the shit I say now

Didn't expect you to come as hard as Michael Jackson in a playground

You got some points on my posting, call it good arrows

At least I brave on topic, you lurk in the shadows


Using the same story as the last guy, you know how that tale ended

It was a fun night on the piss, no need to defend it

I can own up to it, at least I got the nuts to be roasted

You think I'm white noise? I couldn't recall a fucking thing you posted!


I took you lightly, was ridiculous, you took aim and were meticulous

You couldn't hurt me with a hit, bitch, but I'm likely to get syphilis

You're a walking disease, the Infected ain't half as worse

I'll leave you looking like Duchess Kate after birth


Say I'm boring, they're applauding, you and Chest, that's amore?

I wouldn't listen to you rap on hi-fi, you shy guy, I'll fuck up your face like Muay Thai

Not like you could try pie, just stick to your other pastries

Your life is like my topic posts, but twice as space wasting

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A swing and a miss Shane O', you've clearly been rattled

This isn't going to end up like the last time we battled

Have you ever heard that assumption is the mother of all fuck ups?

My flow is immaculate, you sound like you've got the hiccups.


Forum etiquette usually dictates quality, over quantity

That's why I've got a fuck tonne of ammo, and you ain't got shit on me.

Your rhymes make no sense, just like your half formed opinions

I'm Professor Chaos! Your just one of my minions


Fair enough I don't post in On-Topic, I really just use it for news

But I quite often come across your retarded views

Saying dumb shit about cat calling women wrestlers, who the fuck are you white knighting?

Seriously mate, and this is a shoot, I find your stupidity quite frightening.


So in UKFF tradition I'll end this with a fork

I think it's about time I gave mercy to this dork

Like I said, I'm not trying to be a cunt, this competition's just for fun

Anyway stick that fork in this clown, he's just about done.

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