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Favorite South Park one-liners


LaGoosh

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Pretty much the whole movie is quoteable but here are a few of my favourites:

 

"Yes, yes I saw the Terrence and Phillip Movie now who wants to touch me...? I SAID WHO WANTS TO FUCKING TOUCH ME!!"

 

"Satan, your ass is gigantic and red - who am I supposed to pretend you are - Liza Minelli??"

 

"How's aboot 'GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS CHAIR!!' how's that for last words?"

 

"I hate you Kenny"

 

"I farted once on the set of blue lagoon!" ##SLAP##

 

"Hey Alec - know what sucks about being a Baldwin?" "No, what?" "NOTHING!"

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Pretty much the whole movie is quoteable but here are a few of my favourites:

 

"Yes, yes I saw the Terrence and Phillip Movie now who wants to touch me...? I SAID WHO WANTS TO FUCKING TOUCH ME!!"

 

"Satan, your ass is gigantic and red - who am I supposed to pretend you are - Liza Minelli??"

 

"How's aboot 'GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS CHAIR!!' how's that for last words?"

 

"I hate you Kenny"

 

"I farted once on the set of blue lagoon!" ##SLAP##

 

"Hey Alec - know what sucks about being a Baldwin?" "No, what?" "NOTHING!"

 

"ALL THE BALDWINS ARE DEAD?!!!!!!"

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"HEY! PANDA BEAR! We don''t take kindly to your types around here!"

 

*after the high school coach puts on amateur wrestling in a bar*

Bar owner: Sir, you take your gay porn and get the hell outta' here.

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Randy: Can't you see that if we fall to New Jersey, California is next?

Schwarzenegger: No, because Utah is between Colorado and California.

Randy: Fine. Well, when Utah gets taken over by New Jersey, then who's next?

Schwarzenegger: Nevada.

Randy: Oh really? Okay Mr. "I'm Awesome at Geography."

 

 

Randy Marsh is basically the fucking man.

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Some very strange interpretations of "one-liner" here. Anyhoo, here are some of mine. Not many, because I'm sleepy. But some.

 

Garrison / Mr Hat

Imparting wisdom

"Why did Chubby Checker leave the Beatles in 1972?"

"Englebert Humperdink was the first person on the moon, who was the second?"

"Genetic engineering lets us correct God's horrible, horrible mistakes, like German people."

"And so, children, that's why Hare Krishnas are totally gay."

(to Sheila) "It's not my fault you're raising him Pagan."

 

Not entirely PC.

"You all know that pigeon was a total slut."

"Can we get rid of all the Mexicans?"

"Don't apologize for me to that spear-chucker!"

"Stanley, gay people, well, gay people are evil, evil right down to their cold black hearts, which pump not blood like yours and mine, but rather a thick, vomitous oil that oozes through their rotten veins and clots in their pea-sized brains which becomes the cause of their Nazi-esque patterns of violent behavior."

 

 

Cartman VS Kyle

(Response to receiving Ants In The Pants instead of Red Megaman) : "I hate you! I want you to die!"

"But I don't Kyle to get better, I hate Kyle."

"Kyle's mom's here to ruin Christmas."

"Why don't you go back to San Fransisco with the rest of the Jews?"

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"I'm afraid I'm going to have to...ask you to leave!" *dramatic scary music*

 

"Well the thing about kids is they're all pink on the inside." Probably the most disturbing line in South Park ever.

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