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Favorite South Park one-liners


LaGoosh

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Kyle: Dude, why is your store called the Indian Burial Ground Pet Store?

Shop Owner: Well, there was an Indian burial ground here before I bought it.

Stan: So you just built your store on top of an Indian burial ground?

Shop Owner: Hell no! I dug up all the bodies, pissed on them, and then buried them again upside-down.

Kyle: Why?

Shop Owner: Why? I don't know why...I was drunk.

 

Cartman: Fuck you, Millie! Fuck you, Annie! Fuck you, Bebe! Fuck you, whatever-your-name-is! And fuck you, bitch!

 

Randy: Perhaps we can use those homeless as tyres for our cars.

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"It's the gayest show in the fucking world! Ghost Hunters!" - Advert for Ghosthunters

 

"Oh my god they killed the little orange coat kid!" - Charles Manson

 

"I want to send a message so that people know if you want to hurt another person you better makes sure they're the same colour as you." - Judge

 

"I'll be there ya queen!" - Stan Marsh (the Darsh)

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Mr Garrison: Not all Muslim people are terrorists.

Cartman: No, but most of them are, and all it takes is most of them.

 

 

Cartman (talking to a guy dressed as the Easter bunny at the mall): You are a rabbit and I am a human. So if you don't bring me what I want for Easter, I can f*cking kill you!

 

Cartman: Maybe we can

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"What seems to be the officer, problem?"

In other Randy v The Police goodness, I loved the episode where he was constantly getting into fights at little league baseball games and kept getting arrested, and he would always be protesting to the cops saying; “Oh I’m sorry, I thought this was America? Isn’t this America? Cause I thought we were in America!"

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