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Favorite South Park one-liners


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In a similar vein to The Simpsons one-liner thread that started recently let's do a South Park one because atleast South Park has pretty much stayed pretty consistant in quality while the Simpsons has been shite for 10 years now.


I'll get started:


"If a killer put a knife to my throat, and said, 'Have sex with your father or else I'm gonna kill your mother while having sex with you,' I would have sex with myself."


"What seem's to be the officer, problem?"




"That road leads to Conifer. You want to go to South Park, you've got to go down that road. Course, I ain't never seen anyone go up that road. Six years ago a group of campers went up there and got lost, had to eat each other to stay alive. Used to be the way to the O'Reilly house. He butchered over fifty children and kept their bodies in his cellar. You should find an old bridge about halfway up; that bridge is cursed, you know. They built it with the bones of two hundred Chinese laborers who were massacred in '34. Yap, lotta history on that road."


"And the Pope said, quote, "A chick bleeding out her vagina is no miracle. Chicks bleed out their vaginas all the time." "

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Cartman after watching Aliens in Cat Orgy: "Hooray! Yes. I'm gonna have your and your boyfriend's voices on my Speak and Record bear, and then you'll mostly never babysit me again! Mostly."


Randy in Stanleys Cup: "Remember Stan, win or lose... Those are your two options win..or lose"


Randy from Two Days Before the End of Tomorrow: "Global warming starts two days before the day after tomorrow... Oh my god, that's today!"

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I was going to put the Garrison 'Five days' line. Oh well, plenty more:


Goth kid: 'To be a nonconformist all you have to do is wear what we wear and listen to the same music we do.'


Jimmy to Wendy after she dumps Stan: 'Wendy, Stan says you're a cont....a cont... a cont... a cont... a continuing source of inspiration'


Butters Dad: 'You shouldn't be scared of ghosts Butters. You should be scared of super-AIDS.'

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Detective Yates: "You're right. We're sorry. This is serious. We need to track this student down and... give him his "Luckiest Boy In America" medal right away."

Cartman: I don't believe it. She's using the Mel Gibson defense.

EA Sports Boss: Now let's part with that old EA Sports saying: Get the fuck out of my building.

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