insert_name_here Posted December 17, 2011 Share Posted December 17, 2011 Nowhere near as funny as Birchills missive, but I got the phishing phone call from the "Windows Security Team" today, who were kindly telling me that my computer was riddled with a virus, and they would guide me step by step. Â The obviously asian woman who introduced herself as "Kate Smith" was very insistant that my computer was going to "Blow up" if this was not solved. I kept her on for about 20 minutes, telling her that I had to look at my computer in a different room, and to see how low she would sink, told her that "the delays because i have trouble getting my wheelchair through the door", but the callous cow carried on insisting that she was looking after my best interests. Â I asked her what she thought of the pedestrionisation of Norwich centre, whether felching should be an olympic event and if a cannibal man eats another man, does that make him a gay. She was focused on the virus though. Â I asked her how long she had worked for Microsoft, and she said that she worked for windows. When I asked her if Steve Jobs was still the owner she said yes, and that she had recieved extra training from him this morning to sort this particular matter out. Â I closed the conversation by asking her to stand while I played the national anthem on a kazoo, and she hung up half way through. Unpatriotic bitch is that Kate Smith. I had a similar one when i was house sitting for my Aunt a few months ago, they claimed to be from BT and a virus on my(my aunt's) computer was causing a problem with their servers and they needed access to the computer through some program i had to download. I knew it was a scam straight away mainly cos my aunt is on Virgin for everything(House, TV, Broadband, etc.) and secondly as soon as i told them i'd downloaded the program(i hadn't) they started trying to sell me anti-virus software for "a limited bargain price" of just Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Silky Kisser Posted December 17, 2011 Paid Members Share Posted December 17, 2011 Not phishing, but a mate of mine gets a ton of calls for telemarketers and the like. This has resulted in an alter ego of Jerry Nervous being born. Â Listen to Jerry talk to a lady from NPower: Â Jerry and NPower Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve Justice Posted December 18, 2011 Share Posted December 18, 2011 I sent a reply back to him saying it would be cash on exchange only. His retort? Yeah but we can not see and exchange cash for the item because I am currently on an official trip to turkey.i assure you,you will receive your bank payment as promised...  My reply.  What a coincidence, I will be travelling to Turkey myself on Monday. I can bring it with me and we can meet at the airport to exchange. What do you think of that Tony me old cocker?  Oh yeah, his name is Tony Drake.  Just in case anyone is interested, me and Tony are getting quite chatty now. His reply.  sure good idea ...its ok if you are coming.that will be great,but we cant meet at the airport,send me a more reasonable address or location so we can meet.  And mine.  I'm staying in a very secluded hut just outside of Istanbul. The address is 1, Istanbul Road, Istanbul. I will be there on Tuesday between 10:34-12:13 or Wednesday between 14:56-14:58. Due to the nature of my business (I'm an international arms dealer) I have to be very specific with my times. It may also be a good idea for you to bring a concealed weapon... just in case. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Catfish Jake Posted December 18, 2011 Paid Members Share Posted December 18, 2011 This is a good one: ANUS laptops Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Your Fight Site Posted December 18, 2011 Paid Members Share Posted December 18, 2011 ANUS laptops. The choice of laptop for back-end developers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slapnut Posted January 6, 2012 Share Posted January 6, 2012 Just got this email from a bloke on Gumtree regarding a phone I'm selling:  Hello thanks for your response, i am ok with the price, i may not come over because of my job I work in airport and I have made promise about this item. please let me know your payment method because i can only pay you with pay-pal now and I will add additional  Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smeg_&_The_Heads Posted February 7, 2012 Share Posted February 7, 2012 In the last 4 days I've had 2 phone calls from the same place telling me my PC is screwed and if I don't do all this stuff it will be gone for good (or whatever) and a letter saying someone with the same last name who is related to me in Hong Kong had got 10.5 million if I just hand over all my bank details (given the fact the last name I use is not the last name I was born with makes this even more unlikely) it must be the con me month Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Richie Freebird Posted February 7, 2012 Author Share Posted February 7, 2012 In the last 4 days I've had 2 phone calls from the same place telling me my PC is screwed and if I don't do all this stuff it will be gone for good (or whatever) and a letter saying someone with the same last name who is related to me in Hong Kong had got 10.5 million if I just hand over all my bank details (given the fact the last name I use is not the last name I was born with makes this even more unlikely) it must be the con me month  Scan the letter on and let Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Halitosis Romantic Posted February 7, 2012 Paid Members Share Posted February 7, 2012 Well, you wouldn't be out in broad daylight. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Richie Freebird Posted February 7, 2012 Author Share Posted February 7, 2012 Well, you wouldn't be out in broad daylight. Â Good arrows Rosey lad. Good arrows. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smeg_&_The_Heads Posted February 7, 2012 Share Posted February 7, 2012 This isn't a scan of mine but I looked online and found the same one  Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Kookoocachu Posted February 7, 2012 Paid Members Share Posted February 7, 2012 Must be legit, HE HOLDS THE KEY!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smeg_&_The_Heads Posted February 7, 2012 Share Posted February 7, 2012 (edited) Reading through it again his name and the name of the finance company he works for is different( in mine his name is Hung Pang and he works for Kexim Asia) but everything else is exactly the same Edited February 7, 2012 by Smeg_&_The_Heads Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Halitosis Romantic Posted February 7, 2012 Paid Members Share Posted February 7, 2012 (edited) Are you telling me that you AREN'T the Gatekeeper? Gozer demands results. Edited February 7, 2012 by Rosegarden Funeral Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members unfitfinlay Posted February 7, 2012 Paid Members Share Posted February 7, 2012 Just got this email from a bloke on Gumtree regarding a phone I'm selling: Hello thanks for your response, i am ok with the price, i may not come over because of my job I work in airport and I have made promise about this item. please let me know your payment method because i can only pay you with pay-pal now and I will add additional  Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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