Funniest phishing attempts

[neil's bitch]

The "Darling" jokes are great!

[Burchill's Buddy]

Part 3

 

Hello Mr Sung,

i am sorry to say that we don't have scanners here,those pictures i sent you were taken 2years back.but in other to gain your trust,i will have to go deposite some money over at the shipping agency.via KINGS EXPRESS.and after that, i will have to ask them to attach the invoice and i will send you the orginal invoice.and signed orginally by me.Let me know if you want me to do that,and let me know if i can trust you,cause i will have to spend a whole lot of money today.

 

Yeah, bollocks are you getting off that easy on the picture....

 

Hello Darling

 

an original invoice would be nice but it is not neccessary, we trust you on that part now but unfortunately the one thing we do need is that picture. I understand you have a problem with your scanner but there are many other ways you could get the picture to me. Borrow a friend's scanner or use one at an internet cafe or library, or do the same but with a digital camera. I dont really mind how you do it but unfortunately until you have completed that part of the deal we can go no further in this transaction.

 

As I have said, the money you invoiced for (

[Burchill's Buddy]

Part 4

 

i have someone that could help,but to clear all doubts may i see a picture of you,hold up a sign manmeat Ltd,i want you to see how hard it is for me over here.Once you do that,i will ask a relative from my husband's side to get the picture and forward it to me.

I would love to hear from you.
Mrs. Cole

Sure, why the fuck not. I have Photoshop, a corner desk at work and some time to kill. I find a picture of two Asian butchers and Photoshop the Man Meat font onto their aprons.

 

Hi Darling

Of course, here is a picture of myself and my business partner in our shop. I am on the right of the picture. As you can see we are wearing our branded Man Meat aprons.

I look forward to seeing your picture soon Darling.
Ji Sung

 

Thanks for that,i will sure ask a relative from my husband's to get the picture taken,although he is still a student,but i will ask him to get the picture for me with a cardboard saying Mrs. Cole sells Puppy meat to Mr Ji sung Park, As soon as he sends it to me i will forward them to you.

i would be sleeping in the house today,i will go to the hospital and sleep over there.

How soon will i get the money so i will go to the shipping company and register the puppies?

Mrs Cole.

 

Hi Darling

I'm glad you liked our picture, and I look forward to receiving yours. The cardboard sign must say "I sell puppy meat to Ji Sung Park" - exactly those words, you dont need to mention your name. It doesnt matter who is holding the sign at this point so there is no need to mention a name.

The shop where I can make Western Union payments is open today so I can get the money to you straight away, as soon as the picture arrives. I'm not sure how long they take to process though as I have not used Western Union before.

Ji Sung

 

how am i sure that after getting the pictures you will send the money,i will need something to trusth you on.I don't mind you sending me a few hundred pounds,then after seeing the picture,you will send the rest.My Husband is really sick and i don't have money to treath him.So please Mr.Ji Sung,i don't mind having a few hundred pounds from you,i promise and swear on my husbands blood to send you the picture my self.

I need your help.
Mrs. cole

Urgh, You're really starting to piss me off now Darling.

 

Darling

Why must we go over this again and again? I have sent you a picture of myself and I didnt ask you for any money did I? - It's a simple picture why are you making it seem so difficult?

Once again I will tell you, I have �3000 waiting here to send you once the picture arrives, until then you will have nothing else from me. I fear you are wasting my time and I am very close to cancelling this deal completely and going with a supplier that my partner is currently speaking to. Can you get the picture to me by tomorrow or shall we call this whole thing off now?

Ji Sung.

 

Now,now Mr Ji sung,i will mail him now,i hope to read from him.Sorry for the time wasted.I will get to you as soon as i get the mail.And the puppies are doing great,since you never asked how they are doing.

Mrs. cole

Why would I ask how they are doing? Anyway this goes onback and forth for a few more boring Emails until I get the following, glorious mail

 

Hello Mr Sung,
I just got a mail from school young man,telling me he is a friend to Richard 'My husband's nephew',He said he just snapped the picture in front of the school hostel this morning,I just wrote him saying thanks.
I attached the picture,May i know when you can be able to make the pyment so i can register them for shipping.I was told it would take them 3 to 4 days to get to you,So after coming from the shipping Agency,i will ask them to scan the invoice from there,then i will send it ti you including the tracking numbers too.

Get back to me.
Mrs. Cole

The money shot.

But how will Darling react when a shocking twist puts her deal in jeopardy? Final part coming in a bit. Edited April 22, 2016 by Chest Rockwell

[Burchill's Buddy]

Final part

 

Hello Darling

 

Thankyou very much for your picture, it is very clear and a good size and is acceptable to me. I should be able to get to the Western Union office either tomorrow (Monday) or Tuesday with your payment. But I have a big meeting Monday with Sir Alex Ferguson so it will more likely be on Tuesday, I hope this is ok?

 

Regards

Ji Sung

 

Hello Mr Sung,

Sorry i haven't been in touch,I got your mail,i must say it's a BIG RELIEF.My husband's state is getting a bit out of hand,but i will hopefully await your mail from western Union.

I will have to call the shipping Agency to book down an appointment for tomorrow,so once i get the payment,Hopefully you will get the puppy by the end of the week.

I am glad you liked the picture,Richard called to apologize.

 

Hope to read from you tomorrow.

Mrs. Cole.

 

I decide to let Darling stew for a few days. For a laugh.

 

Hello Mr Sung,

Just got out of the hospital,and was prepared to go to the shipping Agency,but when i got on to read from you to give me the MTCN numbers,to my surprise,i didn't get an email from you.May i know what is happening.

I really hope to read from you.

 

Mrs. Cole.

 

Time to break the bad news to her

 

Morning Darling

 

Sorry I didn't get back to you yesterday, but I have some wonderful news! Remember I mentioned I had a meeting on Monday with Alex Ferguson? Well it turns out that he had seen me playing football and has signed me for Manchester United! This means I can give up the meat distribution game for good and play professional football for a living. Isn't this marvellous?!

 

My contract with them starts next week, which will give me some time to pack away the things from the shop and move up to Manchester. Obviously this means I wont be needing the 12 puppies from you (good news for the puppies I guess seeing as they will get to live long and happy lives)

 

I have attached a picture of myself with Alex Ferguson, and my brand new Ji Sung Park shirt. Are you a football fan Darling?

 

Ji Sung Park

 

I attach a picture of Ji Sung Park proudly showing off his new United Jersey and shaking hands with Sir Alex. Darling is not best pleased.

 

Hell What!!!!!! what are you saying Mr sung,all my plans,my dreams,you fucked up in a jiffy,I must say that it's really heartless for you to do such a thing.but i beg you Mr park,could you send me a few pounds to aid my husband's health? Please Mr Park,i am really in need of money...........

 

i really wish to hear from you.

 

Mrs. Cole.

 

Hi Darling

 

I'm sorry, I didn't mean to fuck up your dreams in a jiffy. But as I am now a professional footballer I no longer have any use for 12 dead puppies.

 

However, now that I am playing for Manchester United I will be earning a considerable sum of money,

[Silky Kisser]

So good.

[Stinky Dad]

Do it.

 

Fucking brilliant stuff there. I must've somehow missed this last year but it's been a great read. Bravo Mr Buddy.

[Wretch]

Not a phishing attempt as such, but surely you all know the story of the greatest scam ever?

[Smegma Cake]

Absolutely tremendous.

[Richie Freebird]

That is the best thing ever to exist in the history of the world.

[neil's bitch]

Pure amazing.

 

The previous story was great, but seeing that actual conversation is just gold. Deffo get back to them to see if you get some more comedy emails.

[Devon Malcolm]

Brilliant stuff, BB!

 

Hi Darling

 

I'm sorry, I didn't mean to fuck up your dreams in a jiffy. But as I am now a professional footballer I no longer have any use for 12 dead puppies.

 

 

I wish I had the time to do something like this. The internet used to just be for fun

[insert_name_here]

Can we nominate this for POTY Again?

[Burchill's Buddy]

Haha, cheers Gladders. It didn't really take all that long each time, the whole thing was over the course of about 3 weeks so it was just logging in a couple of times a day and replying. The photoshop on the apron and the logo were only 10 minute jobs really too. Hopefully they aren't still looking for me. I'd rather not be the first poster on the forum to be abducted and murdered by Nigerian scammers.

[cobra_gordo]

Tell me you've gotten back in touch

[Richie Freebird]

I think you should start another project Burchill lad. People should post or PM you the scammers addresses from their attempted phising e-mails and let you trounce the fuckers all over again.

 

That is pure, pure gold.