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The Second UKFF Celebrity Twatlist: THE COUNTDOWN


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1 day left to put your nominations in. Cleetus, matey, I'm looking in your direction and wondering, were you in the process of compiling a list?

 

 

Stat time! At present only a third of the twats from the 2009 list have made it in this year. (approximate figure)

 

Can't remember who I nominated. Any chance of sending my PM back to remind me or is like those kids programmes where they say they can't return your letters?

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1 day left to put your nominations in. Cleetus, matey, I'm looking in your direction and wondering, were you in the process of compiling a list?

 

 

Stat time! At present only a third of the twats from the 2009 list have made it in this year. (approximate figure)

 

Can't remember who I nominated. Any chance of sending my PM back to remind me or is like those kids programmes where they say they can't return your letters?

 

It is done. (assuming you meant this year's list and not any list you may have sent in 2009)

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PM sent. Thought I'd have trouble thinking of a full ten, but it ended up being fairly easy.

 

Really? I reckon if I took a whole day I could have reeled off about 7000 and still had time for beans on toast and a kip.

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PM sent. Thought I'd have trouble thinking of a full ten, but it ended up being fairly easy.

 

Really? I reckon if I took a whole day I could have reeled off about 7000 and still had time for beans on toast and a kip.

 

The trouble I found was mainly thinking of people I really dislike as opposed to just dislike. Thankfully in the end thinking about the people I really dislike reminded me about others and enabled me to think of more and more people that I thought were worthy of inclusion in the list.

Edited by TUFCfan
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do you have to send a rant with them or just a list of names?

 

Whatever you prefer. You get a shot at fame, glory and catharsis if you include rants, but just names is absolutely fine and your votes still count and everything.

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PM sent. Thought I'd have trouble thinking of a full ten, but it ended up being fairly easy.

 

Really? I reckon if I took a whole day I could have reeled off about 7000 and still had time for beans on toast and a kip.

I could think of dozens and dozens that I think are general twats, but I was after the exceptional twats that rise above the others.

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PM sent. Thought I'd have trouble thinking of a full ten, but it ended up being fairly easy.

 

Really? I reckon if I took a whole day I could have reeled off about 7000 and still had time for beans on toast and a kip.

I could think of dozens and dozens that I think are general twats, but I was after the exceptional twats that rise above the others.

 

That was my intention as well.

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Well, here we go. It'll be another Top 30, and every so often (maybe after every fifth entry) I'll throw in a few Nearly Twats who didn't quite make the list.

 

DISCLAIMER: All views and opinions within the Twatlist are just that; views and opinions. No views within the Twatlist are my own. I love everybody. Especially celebrities :love:

 

 

 

30

Ricky Gervais

(2009 ranking: did not place)

 

Ricky-Gervais.jpg

 

What's he famous for?

Comedy and smugness. Mainly smugness.

 

And you think he's a twat because...

"Let's be honest," says patdfb (who ranked Gervais at #4), "if acting like a wanker permanently is some kind of act, then more fool him for coming across as a sanctimonious cunt. Painfully unfunny and unendearing, pretty much the same in everything he does and I wouldn't shed a tear if he said he was retiring forever and moving to a cave in Idaho to become a hermit." Gervais' smug smuggy smug smugness, coupled with his overwhelming ubiquity (something that'll come up again and again in this list), appearing on programmes like The One Show on an almost weekly basis, poisoning every facet of the international media with his stupid little tics and his inane aren't-I-brilliant laugh, make him an obvious Twatlister for many, who point out that he's still coasting off a single character he created a decade ago, meaning the lines where Gervais-the-person and Gervais-the-intolerable-wankpot meet have become virtually indistinguishable. Hollywood seems to have turned on him, but when will Britain? Probably never, so over to Nexus, who ranked Gervais at #9, for the last word... "He's a fat, probably smelly, ugly, unfunny twat faced mong."

 

Was he voted a Top Twat (#1 Twat)?

No.

 

And so to summarise, Ricky Gervais is worse than...

Actually working in an office BUT NEVER LEAVING.

Edited by HarmonicGenerator
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Here we go!

 

Gervais would have got a vote from me had I remembered him. I'll chalk that down to repressing him from my mind (which I clearly manage to do well). Man does that picture ever make him look a twat, nice choice.

 

EDIT: I've got a feeling my main twat won't make it :(.

Edited by The Natural
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DISCLAIMER: All views and opinions within the Twatlist are just that; views and opinions. No views within the Twatlist are my own. I love everybody. Especially celebrities :love:

 

 

29

Jack Whitehall

(2009 ranking: 23. Down 6 places)

 

Jack-Whitehall415.jpg

 

What's he famous for?

Comedy and stupid, stupid hair. Look at it! It's ridiculous! Get a haircut!

 

And you think he's a twat because...

He's not just a twat, according to El Espanacas, who ranked him at #6, he's a "grandmaster twat". A level above ordinary twattishness. Stand-up comedy is a subjective thing at the best of times, but unless you're a student who thinks exactly like Jack Whitehall, you either don't find him funny or are a strange, strange individual. Look at him with his skinny jeans and his extraordinarily middle class stories and his stupid, stupid, stupid hair. Perhaps it's not Jack you hate, perhaps it's the idea of him. Perhaps you were at uni, and you graduated, and immediately realised that the vast majority of students both looked and acted like utter twats, and then you saw Jack Whitehall looking and acting like a student on TV and all that loathing and resentment bubbled up your gullet like every skinny-jeaned stupid-haired hangover you've ever had and just stop talking and go back to the Student Union, Jack, and take your stupid hair with you. "Grandmaster twat" indeed.

 

Was he voted a Top Twat (#1 Twat)?

No.

 

And so to summarise, Jack Whitehall is worse than...

Going to stay at a mate's, and discovering that all the kitchen and bathroom surfaces are covered with an encrusted layer of grime and fuzz, even the crockery and the glasses, and you can't think of any way to not use either room, and oh god, is that pubic hair around the circumference of the sink, I'm never ever taking my shoes off in this house ever, and then you realise you need to shit and your arse and hands are going to have to make prolonged contact not only with the toilet and its rim of toffee-coloured dried piss, but also with every other arse that toilet has ever been with.

Edited by HarmonicGenerator
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