MRMIdAS Posted July 9, 2008 Share Posted July 9, 2008 Why do elves have Big Ears?because Noddy won't pay the ransom Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shaneojack Posted July 9, 2008 Share Posted July 9, 2008 My 9 year old cousin bursts out laughing all the time when I say this poor joke I made up to entertain him it goes...What do you call a mole with a bum for a face?A Ass-mole.(I will get my coat) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MRMIdAS Posted July 9, 2008 Share Posted July 9, 2008 One from Rik mayall:Why did the pervert cross the road?Because he couldn't get his cock out of the chicken. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shaneojack Posted July 9, 2008 Share Posted July 9, 2008 What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?Wiped his arse. A man goes to the Doctors wearing nothing but Clingfilm as under pants, the Dr says "I can clearly see your nuts". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tiger_driver Posted July 9, 2008 Share Posted July 9, 2008 2 sausages in a frying pan, one turns to the other and says "christ! its hot in here!" the other looks back and replies "Fucking hell!!! a talking sausage!"I have no idea why, but i go into a fit whenever i hear that joke!That's one of mine from way back when another joke thread was about. I still tell it now. 2 cows in a field.1 says to the other, " Are you scared about this mad cow desease that's going around "?2nd 1 replies, " Nope. I'm a squirrell "!2 peas sitting on top of a wardrobe.1 says to the other, " You want to buy a house "?2nd 1 replies, " Nope ". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ulf ist Gut Posted July 9, 2008 Share Posted July 9, 2008 A man goes into a pet shop, puts a bomb on the counter and shouts "You've got one minute to get out before the bomb goes off"A tortoise in the back shouts, "You cunt!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keith Houchen Posted July 9, 2008 Share Posted July 9, 2008 Why was Lt Uhura black?Because William Shatner Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tiger_driver Posted July 9, 2008 Share Posted July 9, 2008 Jesus walks into a hotel with 3 nails and says, "Put me up for the night".What is a pirates favourite band?Fightstarrrrrrrrrrr. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rayne Posted July 9, 2008 Share Posted July 9, 2008 A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. As he's sitting there, he hears a tiny voice, "Nice shirt!"The man looks around, but doesn't see anyone. A little while later, he hears another little voice, "That's a really cool tie."He looks around to find the source of the voice. But again, he doesn't see anyone. The bartender notices him looking around and asks if everything is okay. The man explains that he's hearing small voices.The bartender says, "Oh, that's just the peanuts. They're complimentary."someone is a joe pasquali fan... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The British Bushwacker Posted July 9, 2008 Share Posted July 9, 2008 why are pirates violentcos they yaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrI'd give you a thumbs up if I hadn't already posted that one.Mustve missed that thread. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Tommy! Posted July 9, 2008 Paid Members Share Posted July 9, 2008 a man walks into a barhe says ouch Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keith Houchen Posted July 9, 2008 Share Posted July 9, 2008 why are pirates violentcos they yaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrI'd give you a thumbs up if I hadn't already posted that one.Mustve missed that thread.13th post in this thread old boy, a slight variation but there is it.Two jihad warriors walk into a bar. Boom Boom. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MRMIdAS Posted July 9, 2008 Share Posted July 9, 2008 Should a band who shoplifts be called Lost Profits or Kaiser Thieves? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members seph Posted July 9, 2008 Paid Members Share Posted July 9, 2008 Should a band who shoplifts be called Lost Profits or Kaiser Thieves?They're not making nearly enough as Metalnicka right now, while the police (especially on the South Coast) are too busy listening to Nickablack to care. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Gaffer Posted July 9, 2008 Share Posted July 9, 2008 I have a great joke about butter but im not going to spread it. Â To be blunt, I cant see the point. Â Why didnt Rex bark? ... because he was a goldfish. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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