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> The UKFF Celebrity Twatlist, striking while the top 50 fad is hot
HarmonicGenerato...
post Aug 17 2009, 8:31
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79 twats nominated so far, with most of this week left to vote. It'll probably end up being a top 20 or 25, as everything's very close from that point downwards.
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Bring Back Minip...
post Aug 17 2009, 14:39
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QUOTE (HarmonicGenerator @ Aug 17 2009, 10:31) *
79 twats nominated so far, with most of this week left to vote. It'll probably end up being a top 20 or 25, as everything's very close from that point downwards.


It should be fifty no matter if theres one vote or no votes between the people from 25 down. Even if you have to 26. Jordan, 26. Peter Andre, 26. Kerry Katonia etc etc.
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Dazzer
post Aug 20 2009, 15:30
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QUOTE (ECF'NW @ Aug 17 2009, 16:39) *
QUOTE (HarmonicGenerator @ Aug 17 2009, 10:31) *
79 twats nominated so far, with most of this week left to vote. It'll probably end up being a top 20 or 25, as everything's very close from that point downwards.


It should be fifty no matter if theres one vote or no votes between the people from 25 down. Even if you have to 26. Jordan, 26. Peter Andre, 26. Kerry Katonia etc etc.


I have to agree that it should be 50 no matter what. I'll send mine in a minute.


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HarmonicGenerato...
post Aug 20 2009, 22:48
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QUOTE (Dazzer @ Aug 20 2009, 17:30) *
QUOTE (ECF'NW @ Aug 17 2009, 16:39) *
QUOTE (HarmonicGenerator @ Aug 17 2009, 10:31) *
79 twats nominated so far, with most of this week left to vote. It'll probably end up being a top 20 or 25, as everything's very close from that point downwards.


It should be fifty no matter if theres one vote or no votes between the people from 25 down. Even if you have to 26. Jordan, 26. Peter Andre, 26. Kerry Katonia etc etc.


I have to agree that it should be 50 no matter what. I'll send mine in a minute.


Thanks. 86 different nominees so far but I'm still planning on a top 30 - that may change though, as still 48 hours of voting left.
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Mr. Seven
post Aug 22 2009, 0:36
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Sent my list via PM, and I must say it's some of my finest ranting.
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The Cum Doctor
post Aug 22 2009, 0:36
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When the countdown is done, I want to see it.
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The Dart
post Aug 22 2009, 0:46
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I found it hard to think of who I voted for, cos I hate so many celebs, but I don't think about it unless they come on TV or whatever. I imagine I left loads of people off who I really hate.
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HarmonicGenerato...
post Aug 23 2009, 10:27
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Let the rundown begin. It's going to be a top 30, incidentally.


30
Alex Turner


What's he famous for?
Singing about how much he relates to the working class (possibly - I've yet to meet anyone who can actually understand what he's singing) and fucking Alexa Chung.

And he's a twat because...
Well, first, there's the fucking Alexa Chung thing. I mean, look at him. And look at her. Fucking twat. There's this repugnant 'working class hero' aura he projects around himself because he wears a puffy jacket and speaks with a northern accent. There's the fact he quite clearly believes he's the saviour of all music. And to top it all the fuck off, he got to go to the Led Zeppelin reunion gig - for free - AND HE DOESN'T EVEN FUCKING LIKE THEM. TWAT.

Was he voted a Top Twat (no. 1 twat)?
No.

And so to summarise, Alex Turner is worse than...
Sitting next to a really smelly person on the bus. And it's a hot day so they're sweating. And they're eating crisps, loudly, breathing through their mouth as they do so, resulting in flecks of spittle and salt 'n' vinegar landing on your knee.



29

The Ting Tings


What are they famous for?
Being so utterly and completely trendy for a bit. And not knowing their names, apparently.

And they're twats because...
We'll hand this one over to Mr. Seven.

What's left to say about this disgusting duo? It's an indictment of our culture that shit like this is popular. I truly believe that there are certain bands out there who exist purely for the attention and pleasure of modern-day neanderthals, cretins who don't really understand what music actually is.

The Ting Tings are undoubtedly at the forefront of this moment, their "music" little more than a Pavlovian bell to be rung for the slobbering idiots who crave its sound, who respond in kind to the by-the-numbers call-and-response drivel they are served up. If you are a fan of The Ting Tings, if you have bought their album or one of their singles, and if you have shouted and jumped in a field like a fucking twat to the strains of "That's Not My Name", then I ask you to do something for me, or rather to not do something for me, please, don't have children, because you are a lost cause, and your offspring will undoubtedly follow suit. If not for me, do it for them.

Also, there really aren't enough knives in the world for Katie White.

Were they voted a Top Twat?
No.

And so to summarise, the Ting Tings are worse than...
Poo sex.



28
Johnny Vegas


What's he famous for?
Being fat and drunk.

And he's a twat because...
His entire act seems to consist of being fat and drunk. To quote one voter, "'I'm fat. I'm funny'. Fuck off."

Was he voted a Top Twat?
No.

And so to summarise, Johnny Vegas is worse than...
Poo sex ... that wasn't meant to be poo sex.





More later.
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bAzTNM#1
post Aug 23 2009, 10:29
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I like the Ting Tings. sad.gif


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HarmonicGenerato...
post Aug 23 2009, 16:31
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The rundown continues


27
Peter Kay


What's he famous for?
Remembering things from the Eighties.

And he's a twat because...
He's been living off long-past flavour of the month status for years now. He releases the same material again and again and again AND PEOPLE STILL KEEP BUYING IT, adding to his over-inflated sense of self-importance and causing him to produce unfunny drivel that half the country still wanks over because IT'S PETER KAY INNIT, AMARILLO HAHAHAHAHAHA GENIUS, REMEMBER YO-YOS? And something about stealing what jokes he does have from other comedians.

Was he voted a Top Twat?
No.

And so to summarise, Peter Kay is worse than...
That idiot from school who turned out to be really successful while your life is shit by comparison.



26
Jade Goody


What's she famous for?
Being on Big Brother, being hated, getting cancer, being loved. This is gonna be awkward...

And she's a twat because...
Over to mrmidas for this one.

I wouldn't dig her up, but if I met her in the street, were she still alive, I'd dropkick her.

Was she voted a Top Twat?
No.

And so to summarise, Jade Goody is worse than...
accidentally pissing on your shoe.



25
Frankie Boyle


What's he famous for?
Telling jokes about controversial things and swearing a lot.

And he's a twat because...
Listen to his 'Mock the Week Musings' podcast. He takes a 'bad taste' subject and .... well, that seems to be about it. That's his act. Controversy and shock jokes and good the first few times you hear them, but after however many series of Mock the Week, they're becoming boring. Plus he fucking feels the fucking need to fucking swear every fucking other word. Yawn.

Was he voted a Top Twat?
No.

And so to summarise, Frankie Boyle is worse than...
People who still think Madeleine McCann jokes are funny.

This post has been edited by HarmonicGenerator: Aug 23 2009, 16:33
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BionicRedneck
post Aug 23 2009, 17:15
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I think Frankie Boyle is alright, the Ting Tings are largely inoffensive and (aside from being a Sheffield Wednesday supporter) I'm struggling to see what Alex Turner has done wrong.

You confuse me, UKFF.
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The Cum Doctor
post Aug 23 2009, 17:19
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Alex Turner has been acting the twat quite a bit in interviews so I can see why he's in the list. Most of what the Ting Tings do is incredibly annoying, although I do like "Great DJ" and "Be The One". "That's Not My Name" is the musical equivalent of nails down the blackboard though.

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Joe_the_Lion
post Aug 23 2009, 19:17
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QUOTE
We'll hand this one over to Mr. Seven.

What's left to say about this disgusting duo? It's an indictment of our culture that shit like this is popular. I truly believe that there are certain bands out there who exist purely for the attention and pleasure of modern-day neanderthals, cretins who don't really understand what music actually is.



Saying the same about Slipknot would not necessarily raie too many eyebrows.

They are, overall, shit and annoying but "Thats not my name" is a cracking tune
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jimufctna24
post Aug 23 2009, 21:43
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I bet Kerry Katona or Alan Carr wins but I hope Justin Lee Collins is high on the list


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Mr. Seven
post Aug 24 2009, 3:12
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QUOTE (Joe_the_Lion @ Aug 23 2009, 21:17) *
QUOTE
We'll hand this one over to Mr. Seven.

What's left to say about this disgusting duo? It's an indictment of our culture that shit like this is popular. I truly believe that there are certain bands out there who exist purely for the attention and pleasure of modern-day neanderthals, cretins who don't really understand what music actually is.



Saying the same about Slipknot would not necessarily raie too many eyebrows.


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