Great Wrestling Promo Transcripts

[JPC]

That promo is awesome

[pepsi plunge]

What was the point of JBLs promo though?, it didn't add any extra buys, sure it drew (cheap)heat, but there was no pay off at the end.He just raped the crowd, then left.

[Duke]

What was the point of JBLs promo though?, it didn't add any extra buys, sure it drew (cheap)heat, but there was no pay off at the end.He just raped the crowd, then left.

That was him announcing he was on smackdown and it gave them a figure to hate I guess.I mean, besides cena

[Vamp]

What was the point of JBLs promo though?, it didn't add any extra buys, sure it drew (cheap)heat, but there was no pay off at the end.He just raped the crowd, then left.

You're kidding right? The point was that ECW crowds wanted someone to rally against, to rebel against, and JBL for the most part, represented everything they hated. It gave the fans what they wanted. It furthered JBL's character. It also helped make ECW look like something different, as if they were rebelling against the WWE (which wasn't true in the slightest, of course). JBL achieved a hell of a lot with that promo, certainly just as much as Paul Heyman did at the very start of the show.

[bAzTNM#1]

The heat JBL gets makes me look forward to "One Night Stand" every year.

[dopper]

WWF Monday Night Raw from September 23rd 1996.

 

One of the most strange, pointless, mind-boggling heel turns of all time ...

 

"Tonight ladies and gentlemen, before I was so rudely interrupted with a commercial break,

we

[dopper]

Bobby

[Gossy]

Thanks for posting that, just awesome stuff.

Edited March 3, 2007 by Gossy

[R U Kidding Me Ric Blade]

Really great thread guys, I apoligise for being really vague but does anyone remember the promo from Joey Styles, probably on Raw where he was standing on the top of the entrance way doing a worked shoot type thing. I just remember thinking it was cool, anyone got any idea what i'm on about?cheers,

[shinyahashimoto]

WWF Monday Night Raw from September 23rd 1996.1) Why turn a play-by-play man heel? ( Color commentator: yes, but PBP man? )2) Aside from bringing in two heels, he had no further link to them after that promo.3) This was one of the first (if not THE first) time Vince was named as the owner on screenI didn't get it at all.

It might be. I know Nash as Diesel appeared to present Vince as the owner before that. although not in as many words. In answer to your other questions - there was nothing of interest on show and they were absolutely cacking themselves at what WCW might do?Edit: the link is

To be fair - JR is better on the mic than most of the talent at the time! Edited March 3, 2007 by shinyahashimoto

[bAzTNM#1]

Thanks for posting that, just awesome stuff.

Agreed. That whole promo makes that "Hall of Fame" a must-have purchase.You could tell Jim Ross was gagging to tell that story thing he told on that YouTube video. Edited March 3, 2007 by bAzTNM

[Gossy]

Really great thread guys, I apoligise for being really vague but does anyone remember the promo from Joey Styles, probably on Raw where he was standing on the top of the entrance way doing a worked shoot type thing. I just remember thinking it was cool, anyone got any idea what i'm on about?cheers,

It was leading up to One Night Stand 2, when Styles slapped Lawler, got shoved and "quit" RAW in a fantastic angle.

"You want to apologize? Like nothing happened. Like you didn't knock me on my ass in front of millions of people worldwide, and I'm gonna come down there and work with you. I'm not coming back, and now thanks to the magic of live television I'm gonna show the whole world, why for seven years in ECW I was the unscripted, uncensored, loose cannon of commentary. Six months ago, WWE called me, I didn't call this company because I was looking for a job. I didn't need a job. WWE called me because they had humiliated and fired...again, Jim Ross. So I get JR's spot, and from week one, week after week I've got an ongoing lecture about the differences in professional wrestling and sports entertainment. I'm not allowed to say 'pro wrestling', I'm not allowed to say 'wrestler'. I have to say 'sports entertainment' and refer to the wrestlers as 'superstars'. I'm told to deliberant ignore the moves and the holds during the matches so I can tell stories. Well ignoring the moves and the holds is damn insulting to the athletes, the 'wrestlers', not the entertainers who leave their families three hundred days a year to ply their craft in that ring. Here's the best part, because I'm not a sports entertainment storyteller I get pulled from Wrestlemania, and the reason I'm given is, is because I don't sound like Jim Ross who's the guy they fired in the first place. That makes sense, right? So I swallow the bitter pill, I'm a company guy. I get bumped from Wrestlemania. Then I get bumped from Backlash? I'm not good enough to call Backlash!? In ECW, I called live pay-per-views on my own, solo, no color commentators dragging me down. Wasn't done before me, hasn't been done since. But I'm not good enough to call Backlash because I'm not a sports entertainment storyteller. Well you know what? I am sick of sports entertainment. I am sick of male cheerleaders. I am sick of boogers and bathroom humor and semen and I am sick of our chairman. Who likes to talk about his own semen, he mocks God... he mocks God!!!!! And makes out with the divas all to feed his own insatiable ego. I am sick of sports entertainment, and most of all I am sick of you fans who actually buy into that crap! This sports entertainment circus! I neverneeded this job, and I don't want this job anymore."[At this point Joey pulls the WWE collar off the microphone and tosses it away.]"I quit!"

[R U Kidding Me Ric Blade]

Really great thread guys, I apoligise for being really vague but does anyone remember the promo from Joey Styles, probably on Raw where he was standing on the top of the entrance way doing a worked shoot type thing. I just remember thinking it was cool, anyone got any idea what i'm on about?cheers,

It was leading up to One Night Stand 2, when Styles slapped Lawler, got shoved and "quit" RAW in a fantastic angle.

"You want to apologize? Like nothing happened. Like you didn't knock me on my ass in front of millions of people worldwide, and I'm gonna come down there and work with you. I'm not coming back, and now thanks to the magic of live television I'm gonna show the whole world, why for seven years in ECW I was the unscripted, uncensored, loose cannon of commentary. Six months ago, WWE called me, I didn't call this company because I was looking for a job. I didn't need a job. WWE called me because they had humiliated and fired...again, Jim Ross. So I get JR's spot, and from week one, week after week I've got an ongoing lecture about the differences in professional wrestling and sports entertainment. I'm not allowed to say 'pro wrestling', I'm not allowed to say 'wrestler'. I have to say 'sports entertainment' and refer to the wrestlers as 'superstars'. I'm told to deliberant ignore the moves and the holds during the matches so I can tell stories. Well ignoring the moves and the holds is damn insulting to the athletes, the 'wrestlers', not the entertainers who leave their families three hundred days a year to ply their craft in that ring. Here's the best part, because I'm not a sports entertainment storyteller I get pulled from Wrestlemania, and the reason I'm given is, is because I don't sound like Jim Ross who's the guy they fired in the first place. That makes sense, right? So I swallow the bitter pill, I'm a company guy. I get bumped from Wrestlemania. Then I get bumped from Backlash? I'm not good enough to call Backlash!? In ECW, I called live pay-per-views on my own, solo, no color commentators dragging me down. Wasn't done before me, hasn't been done since. But I'm not good enough to call Backlash because I'm not a sports entertainment storyteller. Well you know what? I am sick of sports entertainment. I am sick of male cheerleaders. I am sick of boogers and bathroom humor and semen and I am sick of our chairman. Who likes to talk about his own semen, he mocks God... he mocks God!!!!! And makes out with the divas all to feed his own insatiable ego. I am sick of sports entertainment, and most of all I am sick of you fans who actually buy into that crap! This sports entertainment circus! I neverneeded this job, and I don't want this job anymore."[At this point Joey pulls the WWE collar off the microphone and tosses it away.]"I quit!"

Gossy your the man, much appreciated my friend,

[Subculture]

Sandman, for all the trauma and misery I've caused you, I know you wanna tear me apart. I know you wanna rip me open but beware, there are things inside me without remorse, without compassion. Things that are dead. Things that can hurt you. Things that can scar you for now and forever.

 

Highschool must have seemed like forever for you, Stevie Richards. I know it did for me. Being a misfit, being shunned. I know kids like you, Stevie. No friends, no family, no nothing. Nothing except the constant and gnawing agony of the realisation that no-one likes you. How does it feel to be voted "most unpopular"? To not be invited to parties. I know what that feels like, Stevie Richards. But I'm not worried about you, because Stevie Richards, I never needed anyone to take me out of that mess, you needed me. All I had was my physical and mental powers, and the lack of remorse to use both. No Stevie Richards, you won't be a factor. You won't make it through the threeway dance. You'll never get a shot at me so I'll go on to Terry Funk.

 

Wrestling is a sport for young verile men, not sickly old fools. You see, there's a parable about a man walking in the desert and God says to him, "I'll always be by your side, I'll always be by your side". And as the man walks through the desert he gets weaker and weaker, and finally when he thinks he's at his lowest point, he notices that there's only one set of footprints not two. And with whatever intestinal fortitude, whatever heart, whatever he has, that he can mustur, he makes it through that desert and when he gets there he says "God, God, why did you dessert me? You promised me you'd always be with me" and God says, "Even though there was only one set of footprints, that was me carrying you".

 

Well on April 13th, Terry Funk, God will not be in the ring. I will be the one carrying you Terry Funk. I will enable you to make it through the match, I will enable you to be in one of the greatest matches in recorded history. I will enable you to almost taste victory before I take that away from you, Terry Funk. Before I take that away from you. At some point in the match you'll realise this yourself. You'll realise that you can't beat me. That you can't defeat me and that all it is, is me tormenting you, torturing you, humiliating you, and at some point as you lay there beaten, battered, bruised, and bleeding and praying for devine intervention to end your miserable life, to give you an honourable death in combat...I will carry you, Terry Funk, I will carry you to the end of the match, to the bitter ugly pill of defeat. And I'll look in your eyes then and I'll see the eyes of a broken man and that's when I'll see the eyes of my father.

 

I'll see every hope, dream, and aspiration he ever had come crumbling down around him...which lead to every beating I ever took. His last hope, his last dream, was that I would be a failure like him. So Terry Funk, when I end your quest for the Holy Grail, when I nullify everything you've ever done by defeating you in that ring, I hurt my father. When I end your triumphant come back, I hurt my father. When I deprive the fans of the magisty of seeing their legend reign high again, I hurt my father. And as I force Paul Heyman and Todd Gordon to admit to themselves as well as the world, that I am the single greatest wrestler on the planet, I hurt my father.

 

You see, I never knew the rules, hung down with the freaks and ghouls and I feel down home in the land of a thousand guilts. And I don't even care, as restless as I am, and I don't even know just where my bones will rest. To dust? I guess. Forgotten and absorbed to the Earth below. The World Title heats the urgency around, can't you see beside Raven, there's no one else around.

 

Quote my father's son, nevermore.

 

 

Nice use of 1979 there

Edited March 4, 2007 by Subculture

[TheBigBoot]

Something a little different, the first announcement