Favourite Shit Film

[Magnum]

Everyone should have at least one film that they know, in their heart of hearts, is complete shit, but that they thoroughly enjoy nonetheless. There's no experience in cinema like a good shit film. What's yours?

 

Mine is unquestionably Death Wish 3. (WARNING: Death Wish 3 Spoilers ahead....)

 

The first Death Wish film, while it lost some of the moral ambiguity of the book, is still a relatively complex, thought-provoking story. By the third film, though, they'd abandoned all pretense about moral ambiguity and ramped up the 'Bronson vs street trash' formula as far as it would go. This one is set on some rough estate in New York, where Paul Kersey goes to visit an old mate from the Korean war who's being tormented by street scum. Obviously he pegs it shortly afterwards, as anyone in the Death Wish films who has a new or longstanding relationship with Paul Kersey does. The estate is populated entirely by codgers, street scum, and helpful ethnic types like this lad:

 

 

The street scum are the lowest of the low, doing stuff like chucking pensioners out of windows and raping a Mexican fella's wife. One of the worst among them is a mugger called The Giggler, because he knifes people he's about to mug and then runs away, loudly giggling. In one of the best scenes in the film, Kersey orders a massive gun from South Africa. He then goes out on the estate at night (a time when the estate is very much a no-go area for anyone who's not a cunt) with a brand new camera. He stops to buy ice cream, and when his mate seems surprised that he's going out for a stroll and an ice cream in the middle of a rough estate, he replies with the immortal line "It's America, isn't it?". He strolls off licking his cornet and swinging his camera about in an attention-grabbing fashion. When The Giggler inevitably runs by and nicks it, Kersey gets out his big elephant gun and blasts him all the way to Hell.

that The Giggler is dead, but the villains are gutted and swear revenge. They're led by this lad, Fraker, who has a great menacing voice like The Undertaker:

 

 

This leads to another great scene. Though Kersey has learned from the first two films that he should never get attached to anyone, as something bad always happens to the ones he loves, the ladies still love his manly physique and chopping board face, that earned him the nickname 'Il Bruto' in Italy - 'The Ugly One'. When he, against his better judgement, starts to get close to a lady lawyer, we're cheering him on every step of the way. There's even a romantic key change in the music, and we know at this point Winner is actually going to let Kersey have some happiness in his life as they go out for a romantic drive and Kersey stops the car to pop into a shop, probably for some jonnys. Alas, while he's still at the counter, Fraker reaches in through the window of the car, knocks his new lass out, and releases the handbrake of the car, sending it careening down a hill. Kersey returns from the shop just in time to see the car, and every chance of happiness he ever had, burst into flames. "For fuck's sake, not again" he sighs (I think), with an expression something like this:

 

 

The finale of the film involves a massive gun battle involving Kersey, his Mexican mate and the local police chief blowing away all of the hoodlums, culminating with Kersey shooting Fraker out of the window of his flat with a rocket launcher. The estate has been essentially razed to the ground by the end of it, but the residents all seem happy enough.

[Rey_Piste]

For me one of my favourite bad films would have to be Tommy Wiseau's The Room. This nonsensical film is ostensibly a straight love triangle drama, but it's the completely bizarre line readings by Actor/writer/director/producer Tommy Wiseau. Characters turn up and disappear for no reason and there's tons of things that happen for no reason whatsoever. It's just so hilariously bad in how poorly it's performed and directed, never mind Tommy Wiseau's bizarre accent. A hint as to how badly this film was made using both a film camera and a HD video camera simultaneously because Tommy didn't know the difference between the formats.

[Vamp]

Beast of Yukka Flats. Its often regarded as one of the worst films ever made, but unlike a lot of those movies I think it has a real endearing quality. The drunk, seemingly irrelevant narration, the disjointed sense of time, the fascinating camera angles that were bread out of a lack of money (they couldn't shoot people's mouths because they couldn't afford the lip synching) and Tor Johnson wondering around the flats, it's really a great film that is, quite frankly, too much of a work of genius for a lot of people to comprehend. Simple as. Its somewhere beyond the idea of so bad it's good. It's not simply entertaining because it's bad, it's pleasurable beyond that. It's like a perversion. And it'll get under your skin and stick in your head as something disturbingly sexy forever.

[Alex Wright Mark]

For me, my favourite shit film is See Spot Run, starring David Arquette and that kid from Two & A Half Men. I have no idea why I love this film so much due to it being targeted towards families, but every time it's on TV, I'm drawn to it! Perhaps it's because I can relate to David Arquette's slacker character who just wants to punch above his weight and bag himself some MILF quim, or it's because I fucking love Dogs. Michael Clarke Duncan is so great in this. The no nonsense FBI agent who just misses his dog, who just wants to play.

 

Holy fuck I might watch this tonight instead of the shitty England match.

[chokeout]

is a wonderful film, if only for this

.

 

Its the perfect combination of a rock band who fight ninjas and no good street punks

[Rey_Piste]

I was surprised to see John Oates in that scene.

[Dirty Eddie]

Miami Connection and The Room are both great shouts. The music in Miami Connection is just wonderful, check out "Friends" -

 

Other quality shit includes...

 

Fatal Deviation - "Ireland's Only Kung-Fu Movie". Like a super low-budget Kickboxer style film made by nobodies and simpletons. It's hilarious. Full movie -

 

StarCrash - a nonsensical Star Wars rip-off featuring David Hasselhoff and former child-evangelist Marjo Gortner in a confusing "Space Saga". Also features Christopher Plummer trying his hardest to pretend he's not in an utterly shit film. Here's the film -

[Popcorn]

[DEF]

Miami Connection is one of my favourite Blu-rays. Such an epic movie.

 

The other day I watched Nail Gun Massacre for the first time. Wow that is hilarious. Up there with greatest of bad movies I'd say.

 

 

One of my all time favourite films is Grease 2. I guess most would say it's a bad movie. The highlight being during the song 'Who's that guy?' where a dudes thoughts are part of the sing song. I seriously love the film though my best mate and I get together once or twice a year and watch it after a few beers.

 

(Psychic singing at 2.33)

[Astro Hollywood]

I wouldn't even know where to begin in this topic, as I've been devouring exploitation films over the past year.

 

Miami Connection is absolutely incredible, from the story of its production to its rediscovery decades later, to the actual movie. It's got that weird 'nobody can act' off-kilter tone, but without the overlong, boring scenes that usually suck the fun out of movies that are supposed to be a laugh because they're shit. There's a real gung-ho innocence to it.

 

The Room, on the other hand, feels more like a piece of outsider art than an actual movie (a thing I went into in great length on my blog once), and I have a hard time categorising it alongside anything else.

 

Killer Klowns from Outer Space is seen as a 'so bad it's good' movie, mostly because of the title, but it's just a genuinely great little film. Alien clowns in a big top spaceship who turn people into candyfloss with rayguns? Amazing.

 

I've got Mr. No Legs to watch this weekend.

[spotlightmagnet1]

For me, my favourite shit film is See Spot Run, starring David Arquette and that kid from Two & A Half Men. I have no idea why I love this film so much due to it being targeted towards families, but every time it's on TV, I'm drawn to it! Perhaps it's because I can relate to David Arquette's slacker character who just wants to punch above his weight and bag himself some MILF quim, or it's because I fucking love Dogs. Michael Clarke Duncan is so great in this. The no nonsense FBI agent who just misses his dog, who just wants to play.

 

Holy fuck I might watch this tonight instead of the shitty England match.

 

I like that film too, but purely for Michael Clarke Duncan. The rest of it is just generic dog movie guff. But MCD is so fucking funny it's a revelation.

 

I love BASEketball. Love it. It's puerile, stupid, cheap looking (even the big stadiums look like a TNA house show) and really fucking daft. But I absolutely adore this film. I even quoted it in work Wednesday. 'First you get the job, then you get the khakis and then you get the girls'.

[King Pitcos]

 

Green Street.

 

I actually watched this in the cinema on my own, because my friends refused to see it. After about twenty minutes in, I was embarrassed for the film, and particularly Charlie Hunnam's accent. By the end, though, I loved it. It's different from the usual shitty football hooligan films because it's made for an American audience. It's got its own feel to it, I'm a big fan of Hunnam's performance in it despite the mad voice, and the last fight makes me nearly cry.

 

And it's got this song, my favourite song ever that should've led to a lawsuit from Dire Straits:

[Astro Hollywood]

I love BASEketball. Love it. It's puerile, stupid, cheap looking (even the big stadiums look like a TNA house show) and really fucking daft. But I absolutely adore this film. I even quoted it in work Wednesday. 'First you get the job, then you get the khakis and then you get the girls'.

 

I rewatched BASEketball for the first time in years last weekend, and it's managed to become the single most late 90's thing in existence. Jesus, did the world love its ska punk back then.

[Scott Malbranque]

Agree with Chokey on Miami Connection 100% and also with K-Pits on Green Street. I was almost ashamed to admit I adored that movie, but it is a really enjoyable flick.

 

My favourite shit movie would have to be Dyer's Malice in Wonderland and Dead Man Running flicks. I love that man, and I will watch him in anything.

There. It's out now.

 

I wouldn't call BASEketball a shit movie It's ace!

[Astro Hollywood]

My favourite shit movie would have to be Dyer's Malice in Wonderland

 

I've never been more torn with a film than that one.

 

I'll watch anything with Maggie Grace in it.

I refuse to watch anything with Danny Dyer in it.

 

In the end, I just had a seizure.