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The Best & Worst of Raw


NEWM

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Simple as really. In words and pictures, talk about the previous 999 shows. Something tells me the Austin Beer Bath won't come up quite as much here as it does on telly. Come on though, there's been shitloads. Think a bit outside the box if you can. We'll see the usual suspects millions of times between now and Raw's 20th Anniversary in January.

 

Here's one of my favourites:

 

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Crush turns heel!

 

WWF Magazine were getting wet over the phrase "Lacerated Tongue", whilst showing pictures of Savage's bloody mouth, and I saw this article before I ever saw the turn in full. What a pasting it was. Back then, much like Adam Bomb and Diesel, if the guy was big enough you always thought they were destined to win the title. When Crush kept not winning in place of Luger and those types, I wondered if he'd get miffed. This was classic WWF storytelling too, in that they went on as if Savage and Crush were best mates from about age 3, even though they'd been paired together on telly about twice. Loved the story, Savage getting SUSPENDED FROM RAW COMMENTARY (big deal, he fucking loved that job, so said the magazine) and the general intensity the two showed up against one another was outstanding. This turn was awesome.

 

Mind, this was fucking shite:

 

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Shane is well hard, and so are the other McMahons! Grr!!

 

Initially, I went looking for a picture of tubby Shane cuffing the Legacy boys the night after the Rumble, because that's what I'm referring too, but this sleeves-rolled-up McMahons ready for a fight picture was funnier. But yeah, one week after Randy had us all holding our cocks for the next boom period after booting Vince in the bonce, and winning the Rumble, came one of the most soul-crushing segments I can ever remember. Shane, by himself, where nobody else has been able to, single-handedly steamrolls through Legacy in an embarrassing display. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a Rhodes/Dibiase fanboy and I was never a big Orton fan, but from a booking standpoint, this was suicidal and ridiculous. I hated this whole angle in fact, and was glad, GLAD I SAY, that the match was such a fucking flop at Mania. The house beating was silly and a bit of fun, but the rest of it was garbage. Ha, look what I just found to round this off:

 

ShaneMcMahonRaw2.gif

 

Awful.

 

Now you go.

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So many great memories.

 

The first one that springs to mind is Marty coming out of the crowd to challenge HBK for the IC title. The exchange between Shawn and Vin-Man is gold; 'Clam up Jack' with Shawn saying he'll defend the title against anyone, anytime, anywhere and then some scruffy looking bloke gets in the ring and Vince is all; 'IT'S MAAAARRRRTTTTYYYY JANNETTY' and then Vince and Marty back Shawn into a corner and he ends up losing the belt.

 

Coming back off holiday knowing nothing of the previous two weeks' events and seeing Benoit, Malenko, Saturn and Guerrero sat in the front row of RAW.

 

Another of my favourites is the absolute savage beatdown that Owen, Bulldog, Mabel, Yoko and Dean Douglas hand out to Taker, Shawn and Diesel in 1995.

 

The first utter pap thing that springs to mind for me is Warrior coming out in a baseball cap because he knows Lawler's going to lamp him with a framed picture.

 

Oh and the Fake Razor Ramon announcement. I just remember shaking my head thinking 'no wonder WCW is wiping the floor with you'. There was some utter shite in mid-to-late 1996, which is a shame because what was good was very good but was bad was flat out embarrassing.

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Best of Raw

 

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The Rock/Hurricane mini-feud.

 

I want to say the entire 2003 Hollywood Rock heel run, but I think that would be unfair. Even though The Rock was, in real life, transitioning to Hollywood stardom, this 3/4 month run showed maybe the best Dwayne Johnson as a WWE performer. He was just crazily entertaining with his putdowns on Helms, "You ain't nothing!" all the mad skits, "Easy, big fella!" and it led to a great payoff match on Raw where Rock put Hurricane over like a motherfucker. The Rock was absolutely golden at this point.

 

Worst of Raw

 

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JBL is poopy.

 

In 2008, John Cena and JBL were feuding, with the payoff to be a violent Parking Lot Brawl at the Great American Bash PPV. This segment started fantastically, with Cena (reverting to his edgy thug ways) teaming with Cryme Tyme (giving the team a serious boost by association and removing the comedic stigma) destroying JBL's limo. This was heated, this was personal, it got the feud over, it got young talent over, it was edgy, it was different... then Cena fucked it all up by spraypainting, "JBL is poopy". A part of me died in that moment, and I attribute it to me losing interest greatly in WWE. It killed the serious nature of the segment and feud with Cena being a jokester, an attribute which would affect many of his future feuds, including the "once in a lifetime" Rock feud. You could say that's the moment I realised WWE weren't targeting my demographic anymore, but come on, even 9 year old me would think that's lame.

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TLC IV.

 

The fact that it was done on Raw Roulette was just mental. Everybody expected a Lumberjack match or something equally shite, then it landed on TLC and the place went batshit. Kane being a boss and just running riot was great too.

 

Worst segment ever? Donald Trump vs. Rosie O'Donnell. It was so bad that "TNA" chants started up around the building. Fucking dreadful.

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TLC IV.

 

The fact that it was done on Raw Roulette was just mental. Everybody expected a Lumberjack match or something equally shite, then it landed on TLC and the place went batshit. Kane being a boss and just running riot was great too.

 

Worst segment ever? Donald Trump vs. Rosie O'Donnell. It was so bad that "TNA" chants started up around the building. Fucking dreadful.

 

So disappointed that they didn't do RAW Roulette in Vegas this time around but I suppose coming on the back of MITB and a week before RAW1000 that would have been overkill.

 

Any segment where Vince takes out a personal vendetta seems to crop up on the worse ones. The time he had the Stan Kroenke lookalike and it just seemed to drag on forever.

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I'm a sucker for any type of debut or returning superstar. There's been a tump of them over the years, but Chris Jericho's debut is probably my favourite thing from Raw. That moment when the arena is black, the audio of "Break the wall down" belts out and 'JERICHO' comes up on the Titantron to a incredible ovation from the crowd. I still get goosebumps. Magic stuff.

 

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Eff off with Youtube links unless there's more verbiage to go alongside them. We all know you can see video of anything (and probably have, in the Youtube thread).

 

Poor example to get on someone's case about though, because that Razor/Shawn Michaels match is fucking fantastic. Great choice.

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Best of Raw:

 

The NXT rookies invade

 

rookies.jpg

 

Prior to the return of Lesnar (I was offline in the preceding weeks) this was the last time that WWE TV caught my attention with something totally fresh. The episode ended with the menacing aspect of the NXT rookies at ringside, all valueless no-names but who nevertheless attacked the established stars en masse. The kickings inflicted on Cena and co went unanswered and the show went off the air with the ring in complete disarray.

 

Worst of Raw:

 

Wile E. Carlito

 

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Utter, utter dross. Carlito picks on Hornswoggle, who then stops proceedings to paint himself a tunnel on the wall. Off camera he apparently runs through it, causing a reticent Carlito to give chase with the exceedingly obvious result that he bangs his head.

 

It's a TV show, it's heavily scripted, I get that. I switch on the TV in the expectation of watching people pretend to fight with their colleagues, pretend to be injured or angry. But I don't watch RAW for this rubbish.

 

 

Eff off with Youtube links unless there's more verbiage to go alongside them.

Well said.

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So many great memories.

 

The first one that springs to mind is Marty coming out of the crowd to challenge HBK for the IC title. The exchange between Shawn and Vin-Man is gold; 'Clam up Jack' with Shawn saying he'll defend the title against anyone, anytime, anywhere and then some scruffy looking bloke gets in the ring and Vince is all; 'IT'S MAAAARRRRTTTTYYYY JANNETTY' and then Vince and Marty back Shawn into a corner and he ends up losing the belt.

 

Absolutely agree with this. It was a fantastic match but everything around that match was perfect....especially the man himself with that towel shot distraction to Michaels. It was a great moment and easily one of my favourite Raw moments.

 

There are so many, though. I've said it before and I'll say it again but the whole Evolution - Regal / Eugene angle was absolutely superbly performed by everyone. It elevated Evolution's positions as utter, utter bastards that they would exploit, to quote HHH, "a simpleton" and it led to at least two brilliant segments - the one where they gave Eugene a t-shirt ("Yeah, slip that on over your jacket there") and Regal's fantastic promo to HHH. Absolutely loved it. Evolution were a fantastic stable, I don't think this can be said enough.

 

As for shit moments, again, there have been so many. Personally I absolutely hated that in-ring confrontation between HHH, CM Punk and Kevin Nash where Punk pretends to be sick. That whole angle had such potential for everyone involved and although elements of it were seriously botched, I just found it so disappointing that Punk, a guy who had been so fantastic only weeks beforehand, had sunk to being so shit. It wasn't funny, it was really stupid, and it pretty much ended his excellent streak.

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WWF Magazine were getting wet over the phrase "Lacerated Tongue", whilst showing pictures of Savage's bloody mouth, and I saw this article before I ever saw the turn in full.

 

My favourite memory of this is on Mania the next week when Todd Pettengill was recapping it and then explained, deadly seriously, that "It's a really bad injury. Imagine if you had a lacerated tongue and ate some salt and vinegar potato chips. That would hurt so much."

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Best: I absolutely loved the 3 Minute Warning. And I adored HLA. This clip has both so its my fave moment ever!

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YQGxMpCrknA

 

Just watched this back and its still as good as I remember. Must have been a bit strange sat next to your 8 year old kid trying to explain whats happening though :/

 

Best bit about the whole segment is there intro and there name at the bottom of the screen is just "The Lesbians"!

 

The whole "you have about 3 minutes" catchphrase was great imo.

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