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Game Cheats that never worked.....


Kata Ha Jime

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The bloodbath one on Attitude rings bells with me.

 

Also, and this is really recent, my mate swore blind he fucked that bloke's unfuckable sister in GTA4, the one who gets killed/shot towards the end as a major story arc. And actually, I've never bothered to check if this is even possible, but I assumed it was bullshit.

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SNES Royal Rumble.

 

I 100% am sure I had a magazine reviewing this game, with a picture of Kamala and someone else I can't remember.

I still have the magazine in storage, will take a picture 1 day.

 

Kamala wasn't in the game, I spent so long doing everything I could to unlock him...

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SNES Royal Rumble.

 

I 100% am sure I had a magazine reviewing this game, with a picture of Kamala and someone else I can't remember.

I still have the magazine in storage, will take a picture 1 day.

 

Kamala wasn't in the game, I spent so long doing everything I could to unlock him...

 

I have a weird feeling that that review *may* have been for Rage In The Cage.

 

rage1.jpg

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SNES Royal Rumble.

 

I 100% am sure I had a magazine reviewing this game, with a picture of Kamala and someone else I can't remember.

I still have the magazine in storage, will take a picture 1 day.

 

Kamala wasn't in the game, I spent so long doing everything I could to unlock him...

 

I have a weird feeling that that review *may* have been for Rage In The Cage.

 

rage1.jpg

 

Almost certainly was, I remember buying Sega Mean Machines and they also were reporting that Rage In The Cage was due out for the Mega Drive as well as Mega CD.

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Not really a cheat as such, but anyone remember typing the POKE codes in on the old spectrum 48k.

 

I never seemed to get one to work, tried loads for commando and ghost n goblins infinite lives,weapons,time freeze, never ever worked or just me.

 

Oh fucking pokes!!!!

 

:angry:

 

Hours typing those bastards in!

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This isn't a cheat but I remember my SmackDown! 2 game getting pretty scratched and when I played a Royal Rumble, Big Show and Ken Shamrock would enter. They had their music, appearance and moveset, just not their name. They were called 'Default' or 'Unknown' or something along those lines. I think one of them was on the back cover of the game too. Were they on the US version of the game but not the UK version? Odd that they were on there.

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This isn't a cheat but I remember my SmackDown! 2 game getting pretty scratched and when I played a Royal Rumble, Big Show and Ken Shamrock would enter. They had their music, appearance and moveset, just not their name. They were called 'Default' or 'Unknown' or something along those lines. I think one of them was on the back cover of the game too. Were they on the US version of the game but not the UK version? Odd that they were on there.

They were dropped during development of the game, but you could still unlock them using a Game Genie type device if you had one (but they'd still be called Unknown).

 

You could tap in some combination of buttons on the SNES to unlock the bosses in Street Fighter 2 and the elusive Sheng Long.

Street Fighter 2 was another one where I spent ages trying an impossible button combination (during the Capcom screen, I think) that was meant to unlock the four bosses, based on playground rumour.

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"Be the bosses" on Street Fighter 2 was the king of not-real cheats when I were a lad. There was even an Action Replay code you could put in that made you "be the bosses" where the last digit signified which boss you were going to be. Fuck me ragged, you swore it worked when the India stage loaded up, and there you saw the Sagat sprite flexing menacingly opposite Dhalsim. Ooh, you were going to give him such a beating too. You knew in your heart of hearts that his Tiger Uppercut would be the same keypad motion as the Dragon punch, and you were going to pale the skinny little fucker.

 

The the bloke shouted "Fight!" and your game crashed. You repeated this process for about five hours before giving up.

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Weirdly, I never heard of a "play as Sean Connery" cheat for Goldeneye64. Despite the lack of internet, and the pictures of Connery in white tux being in the instruction book, I never heard/read anyone ever questioning it.

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Models were created for Moore, Connery, Lazenby and Dalton, but were taken out before release due to licensing issues. The screen shot in the instruction book is from an early version where there were still accessable.

 

The textures are still in the game and can be accessed with a Gameshark. The polygonal models aren't though, so even if you're one of these clever sorts that can create patches to apply the textures to existing models, they won't fit quite right.

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I had a massive cheat book that came with Nintendo Magazine System (I think it was called?) and they had a cheat for Duck Hunt, which was particularly weird because I don't think there were any cheats for Duck Hunt. This was in a serious cheat book which had all cheats, cracks and secrets listed for every major SNES, NES & GB game at the time. It helped me get through Zelda 3.

 

Anyway, the cheat- pretty much in these words- was as follows:

 

"Purchase a hacksaw and proceed to saw off the lead to your light phaser. Now not only can you shoot ducks, but you can shoot anything around you".

 

Hmmm...

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I remember that!

 

It wasn't the lead though, you were to saw off the end of the barrel so it had no focussing lens. As long as you aimed vaguely toward the TV, you'd hit everything on screen.

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