Paid Members CuckedByMenry Posted September 5, 2010 Paid Members Share Posted September 5, 2010 From the 'Cunt-ish things you have done recently' thread: Â My friends sisters other half was up in court for beating her something fierce, punching her down and kicking her in the head. So him and myself having some spare time and me been off work decided too pop along to the court to see his sentencing. His family were there, scum of the earth and a horrid bunch. He was sent down for 2 years and while his mum was crying I tried too console her by offering her some of my chocolate peanuts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Devon Malcolm Posted September 7, 2010 Paid Members Share Posted September 7, 2010 An obvious nomination:-   Trying to sum up what me and Scott have in mere words is impossible, and shame on seasider for trying, and don't think I won't be telling him about the "Poppa Dump" comment either, I'd start running, now. Anyway, the story I'm about to tell is a tale between a often misunderstood big-hearted genetic freak, and a handsome Scottish warrior who despite cultural differences, language issues, and entirely different backgrounds managed to break all barriers and form a bond that will never be broken. This a story of a genetic freak stuck in a strange foreign land, bewildered, scared, with no earthly idea whether his dvd would even work correctly when he finally made it home. But he found someone who could give him the answers he sought after, he found someone who could give him comfort, he found someone he could call ..... a soulmate.   It was a cold January evening, and fresh off the dissappointment of "meeting and greeting" what was supposed to be a selection of TNA superstars, Cleetus was pissed off, as all he got was a bunch of jobbers, and a miserable cunt named Mick Foley. To make matters worse, Cleetus could barely get a chance to tell Consequences Creed how shit he was, as he had to fight the advances of a woman named "ODB" and a sultry cushion-arsed maiden who calls herself "Taylor Wilde". Cleetus doesn't have to pay to be harrassed by women.   Seeking comfort, and trying to resist the urge to go back in and kick fuck out of Mick Foley, Cleetus went outside to have a smoke. The rest of the story is in his own words.   . I was just about to go back inside the Braehead and I just seen this unmistakable genetic freak in shades and a cool as fuck tracksuit walking through the door. I managed to muster up the strength to give a "alright Scott?" and he came over, I then went through all the expected lines "I'm a big fan, who are you wrestling tonight?, can i massage your chest? etc" and he was cool as fuck just smiling and talking away, then in probably the most random moment in my life he asked "I've bought a dvd over here, will it play ok in America?", so i spent a few minutes trying to explain about region codes and how he'd need a multiregion player for it to work, which was a hard task as after every sentence I'd be politely interrupted with a "pardon, or an excuse me?", it was fucking surreal. Before leaving he gave me a handshake and a pat on the shoulder, and told me to enjoy the show. He's a darling, I hope he got his dvd to play alright. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Enid Spatchcock Posted September 7, 2010 Share Posted September 7, 2010 ^ I'd like to second that nomination. Reading that story made my day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
444 4444 Posted September 7, 2010 Share Posted September 7, 2010 I've never read this thread before but these two made my day when I came across them!  Joined in with a few lads in singing "What's that coming over the road? is it a monster, is it a monster!" at a fat bird crossing the road outside the pub on Friday. Smoked all my birds fags while she was out last night and told her she must've took them out with her, it saved me from hitting the shops.   My friends sisters other half was up in court for beating her something fierce, punching her down and kicking her in the head. So him and myself having some spare time and me been off work decided too pop along to the court to see his sentencing. His family were there, scum of the earth and a horrid bunch. He was sent down for 2 years and while his mum was crying I tried too console her by offering her some of my chocolate peanuts.  Fucking brilliant. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members tiger_rick Posted September 8, 2010 Author Paid Members Share Posted September 8, 2010 Digging through August was a right chore. Could you please make it clear that you are seconding a nomination? I'm never sure whether to count stuff like "It's good that" or "I would have nominated that if not for this other post I decided to nominate instead". Â You can nominate as much as you like and second as many as you like, just make it clear please. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NEWM Posted September 8, 2010 Share Posted September 8, 2010 Yoghurt one seconded. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Cum Doctor Posted September 8, 2010 Share Posted September 8, 2010 I'm also going to second the Yoghurt one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members tiger_rick Posted September 8, 2010 Author Paid Members Share Posted September 8, 2010 You can still vote from any previous month if you haven't already. I've put these links in the OP so they can be found easily. Â February - http://ukff.com/index.php?showtopic=118304 March - http://ukff.com/index.php?showtopic=119033 April - http://ukff.com/index.php?showtopic=119527 May - http://ukff.com/index.php?showtopic=120058 June - http://ukff.com/index.php?showtopic=120710 July - http://ukff.com/index.php?showtopic=121552 August - http://ukff.com/index.php?showtopic=121838 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members seph Posted September 8, 2010 Paid Members Share Posted September 8, 2010 My friend saw a porn where a couple were about to have sex, then for no reason or explanation (thats porn for ya) a black dude walks in. He tells the husband to sit down and watch as he fucks the wife. The husband begs the black dude not to finish inside her coz he didnt want hip hop babies. The reply you ask? The black dude shoves fried chicken in his mouth and tells him to shut up. Was that a porn or was that one of your bad experiences? Â Linky Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Lion_of_the_Midlands Posted September 8, 2010 Paid Members Share Posted September 8, 2010 Maybe not the best post but certainly one of the sweariest  I guess this guy really hates Pete Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Cum Doctor Posted September 8, 2010 Share Posted September 8, 2010 I was coming into this thread to nominate that Petey post, so I'll second it. Here it is ... Â Stop coming onto a fan forum to justify why you're such a cunt. You're whole life is a fucking failure, you're like 35-40 years old or whatever, you have a kid, and you're dedicating what appears to be, your whole life trying to play 'wrestling owner man' in make belief 'PTW world'. When you're 80 and on your death bed or whatever you're gonna look back on your life and think back to the days when you used to run three shows in three weeks that no one (most likely) gives a flying fuck about other than it being something to do for a few hours, and then thinking back to the other times in your life where you went onto a fan wrestling forum and gave speeches on this and that. What suprises me is the fact that it doesn't appear you realise how much of a shit life you have. Â And don't reply saying shit like 'Err we had some really good wrestlers wrestle the main event in PTW once, yay' because no one gives a fuck, one match doesn't make PTW good, its still shit. Â No one gives a fuck if the pictures old, you're still an ugly cunt. No one gives a fuck if you're proud of being a father, you're still a cunt. No one gives a fuck if you have an amazing girlfriend, it doesn't mean you're not a cunt. No one gives a fuck if you book yourself to help people get over...if you're booking the show, it means you're a booker..not a wrestling personality, and you should book a wrestler to put another wrestler over rather than book yourself to do the job. It appears to me that you think you're so great at being a heel, that wrestlers on PTW won't be able to get over without you, which tells me that you're a mark for yourself, and you underrate 'your' wrestlers talents...you thick cunt. Â No one gives a fuck Pete, cunt. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patrick "Madman" Kelly Posted September 8, 2010 Share Posted September 8, 2010 My friend saw a porn where a couple were about to have sex, then for no reason or explanation (thats porn for ya) a black dude walks in. He tells the husband to sit down and watch as he fucks the wife. The husband begs the black dude not to finish inside her coz he didnt want hip hop babies. The reply you ask? The black dude shoves fried chicken in his mouth and tells him to shut up. Was that a porn or was that one of your bad experiences?  Linky  seconded.  Everytime I read it creases me up lol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Quentin Posted September 8, 2010 Paid Members Share Posted September 8, 2010 I was headed over to nominate the Staniforth burn so I guess I'm thirding it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freaky Posted September 9, 2010 Share Posted September 9, 2010 My friend saw a porn where a couple were about to have sex, then for no reason or explanation (thats porn for ya) a black dude walks in. He tells the husband to sit down and watch as he fucks the wife. The husband begs the black dude not to finish inside her coz he didnt want hip hop babies. The reply you ask? The black dude shoves fried chicken in his mouth and tells him to shut up. Was that a porn or was that one of your bad experiences?  Linky  seconded.  Everytime I read it creases me up lol. I'm thirding this. "Hip-hop babies" is now part of my vocabulary. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Devon Malcolm Posted September 9, 2010 Paid Members Share Posted September 9, 2010 If, at some point, we create a 'Shite Post Of The Month' thread, I would like this to win every month:- Â I can't be bothered hearing about this Peter Stainontrouserforth. Â I can't stop looking at it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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