Awards Moderator HarmonicGenerator Posted August 27, 2009 Author Awards Moderator Share Posted August 27, 2009 Top 6 time.    6 Bono  What's he famous for? Singing in U2, saving the world.  And he's a twat because... I struggled to find a vote for him that didn't just say 'CUNT' next to it, but eventually, here's this  "The earth is dying we Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Awards Moderator HarmonicGenerator Posted August 27, 2009 Author Awards Moderator Share Posted August 27, 2009 3 Kerry Katona  What's she famous for? Smoking crack, getting pissed, having kids, having husbands, getting fat, getting thin, being on the cover of OK magazine despite having done nothing of worth since ever.  And she's a twat because... She's an annoying fat turd with nothing to offer the world.  Read all about her reaction to this list in the next issue of OK. A world exclusive! (like anybody else could give a shite)  Was she voted a Top Twat? Multiple times.  And so to summarise, Kerry Katona is worse than... AIDS.     2 Alan Carr  What's he famous for? Being camp. That's it. He even wrote a fucking book about it.  And he's a twat because... For the final time, let's to go Mr. Seven (who actually said this about Justin Lee Collins too, but I kept it, slightly paraphrased, for Carr)  Not funny, extremely irritating, incredibly ugly and has a really annoying voice and is loved by cunts everywhere. Oh, and I want to roast him alive while I masturbate furiously to the sounds of his agony.  Was he voted a Top Twat? More than anybody else, actually, but it wasn't enough...  And so to summarise, Alan Carr is worse than... cancer.    And now...  1 Katie 'Jordan' Price  What's she famous for? What's she not famous for?  And she's a twat because... One last time let's hand over to some of the voters.  - 'I'm a Barbie Girl, in a Barbie world' Plastic, fantastic! Needs kicks to the bucket repeatedly. Took Gareth Gates virginity iirc, shagged a load of footballers, would probably melt in front of a naked flame. Cunt.  - Unapologetic cock & coke addict who has had more dicks than an average person's daily calorie intake, and as a result she probably needs to use a stick of candy floss as a tampon. She's had so much work on her comic tits it would be easier to put footballs in them with an air valve sticking out underneath. Has had three crotchfruits - one born blind due to her habits, has found "true love" a couple of years before pissing it away for yet more dick, has written three novels about 'fictional' vapid cock addicts and has now left her 'normal' kids in the dust with their father for the pursuit of - ta da! - cock. The only suitable word for her begins with 'C' and sums up her personality and intellect all at once.  - It takes some piece of work to turn a cheesy pop singer from the mid-90s into the most sympathetic non-terminal illness-having figure in the country. An utter car wreck of a human being, and like Jade Goody often wrongly identified as a 'clever businesswoman' as opposed to a thick slut with a good agent.  - stupid annoying bitch who is so stupid the only way she could ever make any money was by having massive tits.  People don't like her much, you know.  Was she voted a Top Twat? Yes. Oh yes.  And so to summarise, Katie 'Jordan' Price is worse than... Everything. Just... everything.      So that's the list. Thanks for reading and for voting.  And for the sake of interest, an alphabetical list of everyone who was nominated, but that didn't make the top 30.  Adele, Adrian Chiles, Alex Deakin, Alistair Darling, Ashley Cole, Bill O'Reilly, Billy Connolly, Bob Geldof, Bryan Robson, Calum Best, Chris Evans, Chris Kamara, Chris Martin, Colin Farrell, Danielle Lloyd, David Blaine, David Cameron, The Eggheads, Gary Neville, George Lamb, George Sampson, Gordon Brown, Gordon Ramsay, Graham Norton, Harry Hill, Harry Redknapp, Ian Brown, Ian Hislop, Jack Osbourne, Jamie Redknapp, Janet Street-Porter, Jeremy Kyle, Jim Davidson, Jon Gaunt, The Jonas Brothers, The Kaiser Chiefs, Kings of Leon, Lady Gaga, Miley Cyrus, Nick Hancock, Paul Darce (Daily Mail editor), Paul McCartney, Peaches Geldof, Peter Andre, Piers Morgan, Prince Harry, Rebecca Loos, Richard Littlejohn, Robert Peston, Rush Limbaugh, Sara Cox, Sarah Jessica Parker, Sharon Osbourne, Simon Cowell, Simon Mayo, Steve Evans (Crawley Town manager), Steven Gerrard, Tabloid newspaper and glossy magazine editors, the ginger bird from La Roux, Tim Lovejoy, Tom Cruise, Toyah Wilcox, Triple H and Uri Geller. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Magnum Posted August 27, 2009 Share Posted August 27, 2009 It makes me sad that somebody voted for Chris Kamara. How can you not be amused by his big stupid 'too close to the camera' shouting face? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members SiMania Posted August 27, 2009 Paid Members Share Posted August 27, 2009 Just one Scottish person in the list, doesn't that make us less twattish than our counterparts? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe_the_Lion Posted August 27, 2009 Share Posted August 27, 2009 Just one Scottish person in the list, doesn't that make us less twattish than our counterparts? Â Perhaps people just felt that being Scottish was punnishment enough? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members ColinBollocks Posted August 27, 2009 Paid Members Share Posted August 27, 2009 Just one Scottish person in the list, doesn't that make us less twattish than our counterparts? The fact you brought this up ruins it abit though mate. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NEWM Posted August 27, 2009 Share Posted August 27, 2009 Let me be the first to bore everybody else with my Top 15, I don't actually think I did all that well, as relates to the main list:  1. Pink 2. Frankie Boyle 3. The ginger bird from La Roux 4. Jim Davidson 5. Richard Littlejohn 6. Harry Redknapp 7. Robert Peston 8. Miley Cyrus 9. Jon Gaunt 10. Uri Gellar 11. Billy Connolly 12. George Lamb 13. Steven Gerrard 14. Peaches Geldoff 15. Sharon Osbourne  Great, great write up though, very funny. Top marks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
In the Shadows Posted August 27, 2009 Share Posted August 27, 2009 As a new member, I didn't submit any votes, but this person should have won it if I had my way, and I am not referring to Ashlee Simpson. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Magnum Posted August 27, 2009 Share Posted August 27, 2009 This was mine: Â 1) Pete Doherty 2) Danny Dyer 3) Prince Harry 4) Calum Best 5) David Cameron 6) Noel Fielding 7) Peaches Geldof 8) George Sampson (seems a bit harsh in retrospect, though I do only have to see his stupid tear-shaped face on TV to remind me why I picked him) 9) Katie 'Jordan' Price 10) Ashley Cole Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members FLips Posted August 27, 2009 Paid Members Share Posted August 27, 2009 Am I the only one who likes Alan Carr and doesn't get why there's so much hate for him? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rave on Jimmy Posted August 27, 2009 Share Posted August 27, 2009 Am I the only one who likes Alan Carr and doesn't get why there's so much hate for him? Â No it completely baffles me aswell! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Chest Rockwell Posted August 27, 2009 Moderators Share Posted August 27, 2009 I don't really like him, but he doesn't inspire anywhere near the kind of hatred in me that I would include him in such a list. JLC is easily the worst of the duo. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members ColinBollocks Posted August 27, 2009 Paid Members Share Posted August 27, 2009 I quite like Alan Carr aswell. His stand-up is actually really good. Â Granted almost every TV program he has appeared on he has been pretty bad. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members seph Posted August 27, 2009 Paid Members Share Posted August 27, 2009 Top 10 (w/o comments), although I've seen much more deserving since I mailed:  1. Katie Price 2. Danny Dyer (Would've been top, but he hasn't directly or purposely fucked anybody's lives up) 3. Gordon Brown 4. Jonathan Ross 5. Piers Morgan 6. Danielle Lloyd 7. Rebecca Loos (Well, both of these are somewhat redundant except Miss Lloyd got no shit for her role in Shilpagate) 8. The Eggheads 9. Tim Lovejoy 10. Alistair Darling  I'm kinda biased but I actually like JLC as he is quite funny at times, yet he seems to want to be a jack of all trades so he throws himself into stuff with an Aspie-level fervour but without actually want to take anything on full-time. And that's his problem, whilst he doesn't patronise any field he tries to break into he never makes a good advertisement of it either. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GalaxyV.2 Posted August 27, 2009 Share Posted August 27, 2009 I assume the reason Littlejohn didn't make it was because the word TWAT is too soft when attatched to him. Â Don't mind Alan Carr either, just overexposed a bit i think and that act can get grating. Â Great Number 1, I didnt think anyone deserved to beat Robbie Williams but I was wrong Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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