Paid Members gadge Posted September 16, 2017 Paid Members Share Posted September 16, 2017 In approx batting order, assuming fitness: Â Cook Stoneman Hameed Westley Root Malan Stokes Bairstow Ali Woakes Roland-Jones Broad Wood Anderson I need a reserve wicketkeeper to make a XV, don't want to get banned though. I haven't picked another spinner because I want Rashid and don't think they'll take him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Curious Orange Posted September 16, 2017 Share Posted September 16, 2017 For a starting XI CookStoneman Root HalesStokesBairstow AliRashid (unlikely to actually happen, but I think Root/Stokes would use him more attackingly, which would suit him)BroadWoodAnderson Woakes Roland-Jones Crane (will go instead of rashid, not sure he'll start the series though) Hameed (could see him getting a go at 3, with Ali a sole spinner and everyone else moving down a spot) Foakes Malan's probably going instead of Rashid as he'll be batting cover. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Gus Mears Posted September 16, 2017 Paid Members Share Posted September 16, 2017 (edited) Cook Hameed Livingstone Root Stokes Bairstow Ali Woakes Broad Leach Anderson As starting eleven Wood Coverton Rashid Malan Stoneman Foakes On the plane and carrying drinks Yeah, no chance of that happening and I'm forcing Leach into the line up because he's Somerset and amazing. In the real world, I would get rid of Leach and put Rashid in before Broad in that line up Edited September 16, 2017 by Gus Mears Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators PowerButchi Posted September 22, 2017 Moderators Share Posted September 22, 2017 (edited) TRJ out as of today. Gutted. Saw this coming Mears, I was going to fucking knock fuck out of you for not taking him, but fair play, you can predict a bad back. Â Hameed's fucked as well seemingly. I wanted Hameed at 2 and Stoneman at 3 as I like 3 openers in test cricket. Westley lives again. As has HARMISON2K10S, Steven Finn, who took 8-49 yesterday. Fucks sakes. Â Any money Gary Ballbagg will find his way on the plane. Edited September 22, 2017 by PowerButchi Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Gus Mears Posted September 23, 2017 Paid Members Share Posted September 23, 2017 (edited) Finn is a bell and would be utterly undeserving of getting on the plane. He's been shite all summer and puts in one shift to fucking well relegate my club. Tosser. Ballance will be there, Butch. I'm pretty sure about it. When the nuclear apocalypse comes, the only things left will be cockroaches and rumours of Gary Ballance getting another England test call up. For the upteenth time, best we've got is Root putting team before personal preference and playing 3. If we have to put Wanker Ballance in, better at 4 or 5, considering he basically can't be bothered to learn how to change technique against test quality quicks. I know I have mentioned this before, but it encapsulates why Ballance is a bang average player and Cook is great. When Cook had that technical fault where he kept edging outside off stump, he netted every damn day with Gooch, tried his best to improve and change, while captaining his country. He managed it in the end and got back in form. Ballance refuses to accept his problem, doesn't do the additional work and scores hatfulls against plodders and Kolpaks. He will never be a great test player. Whatever way we slice this,we don't have the players to win the Ashes barring a lot of good fortune. My problem with TRJ is that I think he would have been murderded in Australian conditions. Tennis Court pitches and Roland-Jones ambling in to pitch it up with the beach ball sounds suicidal. Edited September 23, 2017 by Gus Mears Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LariatTom Posted September 23, 2017 Share Posted September 23, 2017 Is there anyone around the England line up who is legitimately quick, or can offer a lot of bounce? Australia's line up will have their usual pace line up who can bowl quick and get a lot of bounce. . I wouldn't have Hameed anywhere near that Ashes team, even as a back-up opener. He's averaged 28.50 this season and just seemed to have lost all confidence after the injury. I'd send him on tour with the Lions, or encourage him to go and play grade cricket in Australia. Right now, my starting XI would be Cook, Stoneman, Westley, Root, Foakes, Stokes, Bairstow, Ali, Woakes/Wood, Broad, Anderson. I'd be taking Hales with me, ideally to slot into 3 if Westley doesn't work but he could also double up as a replacement opener or slot into 5. The way he's been playing this year, I'd see if Collingwood fancies a go in the slips for some experience and security when it comes to catching, plus his batting seems to be in delightful form this year. Foakes doubles up with the gloves and surely deserves a run as I think he could handle the pressure of coming into the line up for an Ashes series. Maybe Livingstone from Lancs or Matt Parkinson for a surprise option as a leggie with some real potential - though again he could be better suited to going with the Lions than carrying drinks all winter. It's a tough one, but whatever team we take, I can't see this being a successful winter.   Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Devon Malcolm Posted September 24, 2017 Author Paid Members Share Posted September 24, 2017 The thought of Tom Westley facing that Australia pace attack is simultaneously pant-pissingly hilarious and pant-shittingly terrifying. Ballance can fuck off as well. I suppose Malan not being a complete failure this summer is more enough for him to get chosen but it's a no from me as well. In other news, I love Moeen Ali. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Gus Mears Posted September 24, 2017 Paid Members Share Posted September 24, 2017 Yeah, not sure what anyone has seen in Westley to justify him playing in Australia in what is ostensibly the position where you put your best bat. Suppose he hasn't been there that long, which hardly inspires. Looked vaguely decent in his first test and has hurtled backwards since that point. I absolutely love Mo. He seems such a nice bloke too, especially when compared to the similarly excellent Stokes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members gadge Posted September 24, 2017 Paid Members Share Posted September 24, 2017 The BBC website feed and Sky coverage of the ODI both mentioned Plunkett as an Ashes contender today... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators PowerButchi Posted September 25, 2017 Moderators Share Posted September 25, 2017 They can both fuck off. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Devon Malcolm Posted September 25, 2017 Author Paid Members Share Posted September 25, 2017 I like Plunkett and always have but if they want to pick a fast bowler for Australia then pick an actual fast bowler rather than someone who might occasionally bowl the odd delivery over 90mph like him or Wood. They're better off just trying to bore the Aussies out by bowling line and length and giving them nowt to hit rather than trying to rough them up with pace. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators PowerButchi Posted September 26, 2017 Moderators Share Posted September 26, 2017 (edited) Glenn McGrath was a line and length man and he did OK, and I'm not comparing them to each to each other, but TRJ is a tall man who bowled off the top of off stump with accuracy in good areas at around early 80s.  Ok, that is a comparision, but only in the sense line and length takes wickets. Wood's panting like a dog in a hot car after 3 overs, and Plunkett is a poor test bowler. Anyroads,"Sky Sports News Sources" (IE: Who'll be on the plane, any money, despite them not having the rights to the Ashes) claim Gary Ballbag is going on tour. Fuckssakes.  Anyway, here's a picture of Chris Tremlett these days.  Edited September 26, 2017 by PowerButchi Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Gus Mears Posted September 27, 2017 Paid Members Share Posted September 27, 2017 (edited) Ashes squad: Root, Cook, Stoneman, Malan, Ballance, Vince, Moeen, Crane, Foakes, Bairstow, Stokes, Woakes, Broad, Anderson, Ball, C. Overton. 4-1 Australia. Glenn McGrath to hold traditional 'worst England squad ever to tour Australia' press conference by tea time. Edited September 27, 2017 by Gus Mears Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators PowerButchi Posted September 27, 2017 Moderators Share Posted September 27, 2017 Ballance. Fucks sakes. I assume Hales marked his card the other night. Nice to see Craig Overton in there though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Gus Mears Posted September 27, 2017 Paid Members Share Posted September 27, 2017 I find Vince being in the squad more baffling than Ballance. Looked an absolute donkey at test level and has a stonking average of 32 this year. Crane, who can't even get in the Hampshire team and has an average of 42 this year, getting the nod over Leach is par for the course. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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