air_raid

Well, sure, YMMV. For me the sweeping change was between Mania X and King of the Ring 94. Having only access to tapes of the teatime repeats of the PPVs with ad breaks inserted (“Atmosfear, the video board game!”) lent to me by a mate from swimming, and no weekly TV, everything seemed to get a new coat of paint overnight. There were spotlight logos everywhere! Diesel was a regular singles wrestler and had managed to already win the Intercontinental belt! The Headshrinkers were goodies! Bret had new music!… actually, that took me a little while to warm to. But the show seemed to be a bit “newer.” Well, Rowdy Roddy Piper was on last, Gorilla was back on commentary and the Anvil turned up, but you know, swings and roundabouts.

I think that's only because IX was in a car park and had the dodgy Roman theme. Ignoring the difference between a stadium and MSG, VIII and X are reasonably similar except for the colour of ring ropes and swapping matadors and voodoo men for clowns and rappers. XI at least is when they start having the extra spotlight effects like flying hearts for Bret or razors for, umm, Razor, A fancy collapsing sugarglass entranceway for Diesel and a slick looking tunnel ; OK, not every show will have Pamela coming out the tunnel but whatever.

Not sure about the maths here. Well, you've got at least three alleged sex criminals even if one was only attempting rape by coercion and never actually achieved it, but then that might the old "Nobel prize for attempted chemistry" situation. Plus, I'm guessing the three that are dead aren't getting invited even if only one of them murdered anyone. Minus one more if we don't count the wheelchair bound, perhaps one more for the dodgy ticker... and that's before we get to Hogan or Shawn. The numbers don't lie. They spell disaster.

Cross ref : Syxx.

I reckon Screaming Lord Sutch of the Monster Raving Loony Party could have done it, but as he’s in a spot of legal trouble we’ll just have to hope his son in law, Triple H pulls it off.

@Jazzy G I imagine Vader, Sting and Arm would be involved in yours.

Didn’t realize they had Forbidden Planet in Wigan in those days!

It was too bizarre.

I think we're putting 2 and 2 together.... and making fiiiiive. Go to London, I guarantee you'll be mugged or not appreciated.

JANUARY 2020 Welcome to the last "normal" post of these for a while. Well, I say that, at first glance there may be more NXT house shows than main roster ones, so I'm not sure it qualifies. Anyone would think covid had already struck! THE MAIN EVENTS 4th in Cape Girardeau The Fiend vs Daniel Bryan vs The Miz for the U belt goes on before intermission with a Big Dog multiman on last, next night in Springfield Bray's off so Roman Reigns, Braun Strowman, Big E & Kofi Kingston vs King Corbin, Shinsuke Nakamura & The Revival closes. 10th/11th in Fairborn (Nutter Center, suburban Dayton) and Corbin KY Wyatt vs Miz is underneath, Reigns vs Corbin continues on top in - is this real? - the dreaded Loser Eats Dog Food match. In 2020? Piss off! Some semblance of normaly sees Raw shows headlined by Samoa Joe, Aleister Black & Street Profits vs Seth Rollins, Buddy Murphy & Authors Of Pain 17th/18th in Lafayette and Jackson then 19th it's Joe, Ricochet and Kevin Owens vs Seth/AoP in Topeka. Meanwhile 18th-19th - Bloodline represent! - Reigns and The Usos knock off Corbin, Dolph Ziggler and Robert Roode in Knoxville and Chattanooga atop Fiend vs Bryan underneath. THE CARDS In Missourri it's Kevin Owens vs Seth Rollins, both Womens titles with Becky Lynch vs Natalya and Bayley vs Lacey Evans on the same shows, Viking Raiders vs The Revival for the Raw tag belts and continuation of Aleister Black vs Buddy Murphy. In the Mid West, we add back Randy Orton vs AJ Styles, it's Braun Strowman, Big E & Kofi Kingston vs Revival and Shinsuke Nakamura, and a 3-way of Charlotte vs Asuka vs Nattie (just 6 matches in Fairborn). In the Deep South Raw shows, Becky, Charlotte and Nattie team to beat Sarah Logan, Asuka and Kairi Sane, and there are two nights each for Raiders vs AJ & Luke Gallows (Karl's injured), Rusev & Liv Morgan vs Bobby Lashley & Lana, Andrade vs Cedric Alexander for the US title, Drew McIntyre vs No Way Jose and a couple of nights 24/7 nonsense that always starts as R-Truth vs Mojo Rawley, plus three more rounds of Black vs Murphy (which preceeds those 8-man mains). In Tennessee there's Braun & New Day vs Nakamura, Cesaro and Sami Zayn, Bayley vs Evans vs Alexa Bliss, Heavy Machinery vs Dash & Dawson, Mustafa Ali vs Drew Gulak and - he's back! - Sheamus vs Shorty G. VARIATIONS With no Fiend in Springfield its Bryan vs Miz. In Corbin but not Fairborn there's Rusev vs Lashley as a singles match. Exclusive to Lafayette are McIntyre vs Cedric and Andrade vs Ricochet. In Topeka only there's a match for Street Profits, added to the tag title to make a three way. Only in Knoxville does Nakamura vs Strowman to a DQ precede the six-man. MAIN EVENTS - NXT Judgment Day!! 10th in Pittsburgh it's Matt Riddle & Tommaso Ciampa vs Finn Balor & Damien Priest, then 11th in Warren OH and 12th in Buffalo it's Ciampa tagging with Dominik Dijakovic. 17th in Melbourne its Keith Lee vs Kona Reeves, next night in Largo Priest vs Shane Thorne goes on last. They're back on tour next - 23rd in Memphis it's Adam Cole vs Pete Dunne for the big belt, next night in Shreveport Dunne, Dijkak, Keith and Riddle beat Cole, Kyle O'Reilly, Bobby Fish and Roderick Strong. Finally 31st in Citrus Springs Dunne vs Priest goes on last. B shows - 10th in Venice Austin Theory vs Dorian Mak sure doesn't sound main event, next night in Fort Pierce it's Theory vs Kona Reeves. REPEATS Holy shit! In Pittsburgh and Warren, it's Kushida & Alex Shelley vs Steve Cutler & Wesley Blake! In Pittsburgh and Buffalo its both Rhea Ripley vs Shayna Baszler in a title rematch and Bianca Belair & Taynara Conti vs Mia Yim & Kayden Carter, plus Raul Mendoza vs Danny Burch all three nights. Plus there's also Austin Theory vs Dorian Mak in both Venice and Melbourne. OTHERS Pittsburgh - Dominik Dijakovic vs Shane Thorne. Venice - Monique Jenkins vs Marina Shafir and Reina Gonzalez & Briana Brandy vs Deonna Purrazzo & Indi Hartwell. Warren - Keith Lee vs Thorne, Bronson Reed vs Cameron Grimes and Rhea/Mia/Kayden vs Baszler/Belair/Conti. Fort Pierce - Io Shirai vs Catalina Garcia, Reina, Shotzi Blackheart & Rita Reis vs Purrazzo, Hartwell & Jessi Kamea and Santana Garrett vs Vanessa Borne. Buffalo - Matt Riddle vs Thorne, Lee vs Grimes and Kushida vs Arturo Ruas. Melbourne - Chelsea Green vs Carter, Kacy Catanzaro vs Borne and Garcia vs Shafir. Largo - Kush & Isiah Scott vs Mike Kanellis & Tony Nese, Theory vs Chase Parker, Mia vs MJ and Shotzi vs Jessi. Memphis - Kyle O'Reilly, Bobby Fish & Roderick Strong vs Keith/Reed/Dijak, Rhea vs Reina for the Womens title, Angel Garza vs Mendoza for the CWT, Riddle vs Jordan Devlin, Moustache Mountain vs Blake & Cutler, Ilja Dragunov vs Grimes and Belair & Kay Lee Ray vs Yim & Carter. Shreveport - Rhea & Mia (heh) vs KLR & Belair, Garza vs Scott, Walter & Marcel Barthel vs Blake & Cutler, Trent Seven vs Grimes, Tyler Bate vs Mendoza, Dragunov vs Reed and Reina vs Kayden. Finally Citrus Springs - Gonzalez vs Garrett, Carter vs Purrazzo and Kamea/Borne/Hartwell vs Garcia, Reis and.. here's another look at Mercedes Martinez, who I always rated. TVs 3rd in Memphis (6500) Ali vs Curtis Axel is the dark opener. 6th Raw in Oklahoma City (5500) Akira Tozawa gets on TV losing a short match to AJ and dark Asuka wins a three way over Becky and Charlotte. Wednesday night in Full Sail Garrett vs Hartwell and Mansoor vs Brendan Vink go one before they air live. 10th SmackDown in Evansville, Ali vs Gulak and Fiend vs Bryan are the dark matches. That Sunday in Blackpool there's a second UK TakeOver but nothing dark or especially notable. 13th Raw in Lexington, Big Show sighting! He teams with Joe and Kev to lose to Rollins and AoP in a "Fist Fight Match" which I'm not looking up what it means. Wednesday's NXT is in Bedford TX, Reed vs Ruas and Grime vs Burch are dark and Belair wins a contenders battle royal. Friday is the first of two nights UK tapings in York, Brian Kendrick is on hand to lose to Travis Banks. Meanwhile in Greensboro Ali beats Gulak again, look who's back - John Morrison pins Big E - and its Fiend vs Bryan again after cameras. Next night in York Kendrick loses to A-Kid (Axiom) and Toni Storm continues treading water losing an I Quit match to KLR. Monday 20th Raw in Wichita, Rollins & Murphy become my most-forgotten tag team champions ever by beating the Raiders and Andrade retains over Rey Mysterio in a ladder match - nothing dark. Wednesday's NXT has Mountain vs Reeves & Vink plus Grimes vs Babatunde before the show, Keith beats Roddy for the NAT. Friday before SmackDown Ali beats Apollo Crews and after it Fiend beats Bryan yet again. 25th in Houston a very decent card for When Worlds Collide sees Devlin lift the CWT, Ripley retain against old rival Toni and all four Imperium beat all four Undisputed. Next nighht a 42,000 gate must have been relief for the Royal Rumble - there's a lot of inconsequential rubbish, Charlotte wins the Women's Rumble and Drew wins the mens, despite WWE Champion Brock Lesnar (remember him?) entering himself. Next night on Raw MVP returns too, losing to Rey. Kamea vs Kacy and Joaquin Wilde vs Parker are dark before Wednesday's NXT on which Dunne & Riddle win the Dusty Classic against Grizzled Young Veterans, and finally 31st SmackDown in Tulsa it's again Ali vs Crews, Miz & JoMo become top contenders, Braun wins the ICT and apparently the Bloodline beat Corbin/Ziggler/Roode in a Loser Eats Dog Food match. I'm not watching it to see if they followed up. Fuck sake. NON TITLE WHINING Beaten this month : Nakamura, obviously (Intercontinental Champion) by Strowman, Bayley (SmackDown Womens Champion) by Lacey. DEPARTURE I probably wouldn't mention someone as marginal as Vanessa Borne usually but she's been showing up for ages... this is the last month she gets a match.

What's weirder though, a robot or that time SmackDown had a Palm Cannon in charge? It's not the joke I wanted to make, but I realised just in time that I was conflating "Palmer Canon" with "Canyon Cemon" who apparently is a volleyball player. So I thought I could say "Semen Cannon" and some of you would know what I was talking about. Ummm...... .... here's Hunter firing a Super Soaker.

The Match That Suspended My Disbelief I’m probably going to talk more about concepts and background than the match itself here, you’ll understand why. OK… so, suspension of disbelief is a concept in fiction simplified to “you make stuff up, it has to be believable” by Sharon Stone as Catherine Tramell in Basic Instinct (not that I’ve ever seen it, you are assured). In essence, the reader or viewer must allow themselves to believe (even on an unconscious level) that what they’re reading or watching is real for the sake of entertainment. Now, in pro wrestling, you’ve probably already conquered the biggest barriers to “believing” bell to bell in order to become and stay a fan to begin with, that being (a) the competitive aspect is predetermined and the action choreographed, and (b) the moves the wrestlers do (some more than others) are dependent on co-operation you wouldn’t get if it were real. However, the biggest barrier a lot of the time is that in the big picture beyond the actual match, for “smart” fans like your writer, is the awareness of writers/bookers and an overall storyline arc or “direction.” It’s not exclusive to the medium, of course - increasingly in film franchises with a “universe” you give zero chance of a major hero dying before the big ensemble “end of phase” film, or if a film does so well they green light 2-3 more films, you know the protagonist isn’t dying any time soon, so it’s hard to become invested in their plight. However in wrestling it’s harder still ; if you follow the sport online it’s near impossible not to stumble upon what “the plan” is thanks to Meltzer and others, even if the on screen story hasn’t given away where they’re going. You end up writing off certain matches with stakes as foregone conclusions, virtually not worth watching, because you already know who’s going to win, either because of lazy writing or you just know. Examples are multiple Royal Rumbles from the mid 90s onwards, or times Roman Reigns has had to earn or defend a title shot for Mania 31, 32 or 34. Indeed, knowing what they’ve lined up for WrestleMania in advance brings me nicely to my next example. (3) Kurt Angle v Chris Benoit (Royal Rumble 2003) Let’s head back to the summer of 2002. A face to face occurred at Vengeance between Kurt Angle, who was going for the WWE title on the night, and Brock Lesnar, who’d already earned a title shot for SummerSlam. Now Angle didn’t end up winning the title at Vengeance but soon after the NEWZ!1 sites started telling us that in all likelihood WWE had decided Angle vs Lesnar was “the plan” for WrestleMania XIX. The months wore on, and that reporting seemed accurate as events played out ; Lesnar would win then lose the title to Big Show and in the process be betrayed by manager Paul Heyman, then Kurt won the title and ended up managed by Heyman. Going into the Royal Rumble, the road to WrestleMania was lit up with neon ; Lesnar would wrestle Show first, needing to win to gain entry to the Rumble itself. The idea of anyone BUT Brock winning the Rumble was laughable at this point in the story, and it seemed nonsense that he’d challenge anyone but Kurt. So when Angle vs Chris Benoit was confirmed for the PPV, it was easy to dismiss it as a defence for Kurt to get out of the way before the real build could begin. I’ll preface talking about the match itself by saying, at the time Chris Benoit was my favourite wrestler. What he did and how he met his end probably makes reading a lengthy description of his matches uncomfortable for some, but sufficient to say at the time, going for the big belt, I would have loved to see him win it, but he wasn't going to. Even disregarding the factors that always had and always would convince me the company would NEVER put their World title on a man with his limitations, there was less than zero % chance that they would upset the apple cart of the obvious ironclad plan that paved a road to Angle vs Lesnar at Mania, with Lesnar both regaining the title and getting revenge on Heyman, the architect of his downfall. Though of course, there would have been time for "The Crippler" to win the title and lose it back to Kurt inbetween, neither me nor any of my mates watching gave any chance to that happening either. The pair had a match that was both technically good and unlike some of their previous meetings, played out in front a crowd that got into it rather than responding with polite murmurs of appreciation, as had plagued some of their earlier meetings (and indeed, a lot of Benoit matches). There was, as expected, a frequent exchange of Ankle Lock and Crippler Crossface predicaments with each reaching the ropes or reversing their way out. I couldn't pinpoint the moment where somehow the two wrestlers made me forget "the plan" but somehow, they did. At the point at which Benoit springs back to life after seemingly being down and out and locks in the Crossface for what ends up the final time... I'll be honest, I was on the edge of my seat and I was UTTERLY convinced that Benoit was about to win the WWE title. "Tap you bastard!" I shouted at the screen, it was embarrassing. Eventually, heartbreakingly, Angle wriggled free into an Ankle Lock. Benoit resisted but, and for the first time, Angle applied the "special occasions only" (for a while, anyway) grapevine on the mat, and with no way out, Benoit submitted. Losing nothing in defeat, even by submission, he famously got a standing ovation after the match. I'm not going to dwell on Benoit himself, but this match stayed with me and was, for the next four years, probably my favourite match. It reminded me of the power of great professional wrestling, that as "smart" as I thought I was, and as much as I "knew" what the company had lined up for "the plan" - when the wrestling is good enough, I could still let go and enjoy myself, and trick my brain into thinking it's a real sporting contest and not a pre-determined work of fiction.

Splitting the teams in the past I didn't mind, because it gave some jeopardy to the human beings that their team could get split up without them wanting it. But it was handled terribly in terms of there usually being no decent teams lined up to replace them. 2002 probably being the worst, with the tag team scene fading dramatically after Edge's promotion and elevation of Chuck & Billy, they then split up the Hardys AND Dudleys. There were then basically no decent tag teams until the "SmackDown 6" stuff happened, which was a time-killer for 2/3 of them anyway.

The Match That Made Me Care Who Won So, to follow neatly on from the last entry, I went back to Simon’s house not long after and told him I enjoyed Mania VI and did he have any other tapes from Wendy he’d finished with and I could have next - he did, and that night I took home 4th Annual, 5th Annual and 6th Survivor Series, again in unmarked boxes with no clues as to the content. This time I immediately made scart to scart copies (6th/1992 I still have, and it still plays) and watched in the process. Having been dimly aware of the (stripped down version) of a Survivor Series match from Super WrestleMania on the SNES, the intro again made the show look gigantic and the format gave a totally different vibe to Mania - later, I’d be disappointed that the “Grand Finale Match Of Survival” was a one off. As an adult I realised it’s not ideal to beat nearly the whole roster on one night, but as a kid I thought it was cool. But then there was a lot I didn’t get yet - the intro made me think Hogan and Earthquake were co-captaining a team initially. The tape was a real favourite for many years thereafter and featured the first match I got really into from the point of caring who was going to win. It affected me so much I started a thread based off it in 2012 then reposted it into a Survivor Series Memories thread in 2018 - I lift much of what’s written below from that original post, apologies if you’ve read it before. (2) The Dream Team VS The Million $ Team (Dusty Rhodes, The Hart Foundation & Koko B Ware VS Ted DiBiase, Rhythm & Blues & a mystery partner) Just to give you the background to this - it's about Bret Hart. As I've mentioned numerous times, I got into wrestling by watching WrestleMania VI. Now, the Harts had kind of grabbed me by looking the business both prior to and in the process of smashing the Bolsheviks in 40 seconds. In addition, Bret looked captain cool-as-fuck pinning poor Boris. He convinced me that he and the Anvil were the real deal. The next chance I got to see the Harts was this tape. Having figured out that this was not longer after WrestleMania VI and we were still in 1990, it didn’t surprise me to see the Foundation come out with the belts as I knew they beat Demolition at SummerSlam 90 thanks to one of Simon’s trading cards. The Dream Team were obviously going to be my favourites up against the Million Dollar Man who was clearly a shit, even if I’d not been a fan of the cheating Dusty did at Mania (thank you, Jesse Ventura). The match seemed to take on extra meaning for Bret when Roddy Piper on commentary poignantly told us that his brother Dean had passed away the day before, and expressed his admiration for Hart's professionalism, and that he had dedicated the match to Dean. The Dream Team really had their backs to the wall from the outset with the debut of the then-terrifying and enigmatic Undertaker (who even then I knew was a big deal) and as the match wore on they ended up down to three-on-Bret after Undertaker pinned the American Dream himself. Obviously at that point, Bret's goose seemed cooked. Suddenly the odds were reduced when Undertaker got himself counted out, deciding that it would be fun to beat Dusty's fat ass all the way up the aisle, and who could blame him for that. Hitman was still severely disadvantaged having taken a bit of a kicking, but he caught a quick one by reversing the Hammer's attempt at the Figure 4 into an excellently executed small package to further reduce the arrears. That still left Bret, who had taken a fair amount of abuse from Valentine, Taker and Honky, against the wily veteran DiBiase who was relatively fresh. Remember, this isn't five time WWF Champion Bret Hart, the "best there is, the best there was, the best there ever will be." This is Bret Hart of the Hart Foundation, one half of the tag team champions. He was never going to beat a top player like the Million Dollar Man, was he? Right from the off Bret was like a man possessed, rocking Ted with an atomic drop that sent him spilling to the floor and then a pescado - the first time I'd ever seen a wrestler dive over the top rope to the floor. It impressed the hell out of Piper too. Ted recovered however and lay a beating on Bret, but the rally soon came. When he snatched this backslide out of the corner, I thought he had the bugger. He didn't seem to have that lethal killing blow like a DDT or a Rude Awakening, but he could do it with wrestling. He could catch his opponent with technique, like Mr Perfect did with the Perfect-Plex. I thought he had him here. After that, Bret played possum feigning an injury - a moment of ingenuity I had never seen - and wrapped up DiBiase with an O'Connor roll and again, I thought he had him. He'd outsmarted the evil bastard. I thought he had him, but he didn't. Then suddenly, Virgil grabbed a hold of Bret, and I feared the worst. The bodyguard would be the undoing of Bret, as he had been of Neidhart earlier in the match, and Jake the Snake at WrestleMania. Bret evaded the knee strike from DiBiase and grabbed a snug schoolboy. THIS WAS IT! They had toyed with my emotions perfectly - I knew this was it. From the jaws of defeat Hitman had snatched victory.... ... but it wasn't to be. DiBiase kicked out. We had a pendulum backbreaker and a second rope elbow, and my God, Bret had convinced me he could do it. And in the very next spot, an exhausted Hitman went for a crossbody, which Ted rolled through and hooked a leg, locking fingers tightly, from which Bret could not escape. Bret's instant reaction at the time was to visibly exclaim "Fuck." Which as a child, I didn't notice, but as an adult, I really have come to appreciate. It's not audible, so nobody need get too offended, but the astute adult viewer will have spotted it, and it makes it seem a little more realistic because, well... you would feel like that, wouldn't you? I was crushed. Bret had won me over as a hero in showing spirit when the odds where against him and then pushing such an established technician and sometimes-main eventer to the brink, but in the end it was a bridge too far. It was obviously an important lesson that not all stories have a happy ending, but I felt awful. Not just because the guy I wanted to win didn't, and that the underdog didn't quite prevail, but I felt bad FOR BRET, despite him being "just a character in the wrestling." Fuck. In hindsight, Bret came out of the match looking a lot stronger in defeat. This was a match that proved, certainly to me, that he had the fire and (subtle) charisma to make people care and get behind him on his own two feet. He was the master at that, was Bret. He knew the real value in the match was that it doesn't matter if you win or lose, just how good you each look. It would happen to him again later on, when even in dropping the title to Smithers at SummerSlam 92, he sent out the clear message - put me on last, give me twenty minutes or more, and I'll give you a main event calibre match. I won't let you down. And to my mind, he never did. Of course, wrestling Bret was when Steve Austin fully, completely transformed from foul-mouthed anarchic ass-kicker to the hardest bastard you'll ever see at WrestleMania 13 in defeat, and I genuinely believe that in the WWF title match at Survivors 92 (one of my favourites) Bret and Shawn Michaels had the kind of match that might have opened some eyes to Michaels' main event potential, even in defeat. It was Hulk Hogan (ironically enough) that put it best as I quoted in my last entry : "It doesn't matter whether you win or whether you lose ; the only thing that matters is what kind of winner you are, or what kind of loser you are." Bret Hart : the courageous loser. Brought a lump to my throat. He was my guy from that moment on, and forever would wrestling be better when I had a dog in the fight.