Paid Members ElCece Posted August 24, 2016 Paid Members Share Posted August 24, 2016 A real Condomundrum Gus. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keith Houchen Posted August 24, 2016 Share Posted August 24, 2016 Cumundrum, surely? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members ElCece Posted August 24, 2016 Paid Members Share Posted August 24, 2016 Yeah I like yours better to be fair Houch Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Gus Mears Posted August 24, 2016 Paid Members Share Posted August 24, 2016 Jizzaster. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keith Houchen Posted August 24, 2016 Share Posted August 24, 2016 Yeah I like yours better to be fair Houch That's what your mum said etc. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members ElCece Posted August 24, 2016 Paid Members Share Posted August 24, 2016 Ahh so your the Keith shes always talking about Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Sergio Mendacious Posted August 24, 2016 Author Paid Members Share Posted August 24, 2016 Ahh so your the Keith shes always talking about  He's probably one of them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keith Houchen Posted August 24, 2016 Share Posted August 24, 2016  Ahh so your the Keith shes always talking about   He's probably one of them. And she did have her mouth full. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members ElCece Posted August 24, 2016 Paid Members Share Posted August 24, 2016 She generally only talks about her favourites Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keith Houchen Posted August 24, 2016 Share Posted August 24, 2016 Aww, that's lovely to know. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Undefeated Steak Posted August 24, 2016 Share Posted August 24, 2016 It's bad enough walking around with a damp sock on your foot, no idea how you coped. Could you keep eye contact when people talked to you? I'd have been scared the slippery bag of cream would come loose and makes its way out the bottom of my trouser leg. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Gus Mears Posted August 24, 2016 Paid Members Share Posted August 24, 2016 I've had a girl's ex boyfriend walk in before. In my head I thought it would have been a merry old jape like in one of those Robin Asquith films. You know, where you'd hop it out the fire escape or something. Â In reality he yelled 'who's arse is that' before stropping off into the adjoining room and causing me to lose rigidity like Val Venis in the Yamaguchi segment. Utter rubbish and I feel incredibly sorry for any human who has to view my Ted Crilly arse. Â Steak, I was sat down most of the time, so didn't have to worry about the wellies slipping off. Seepage was a greater concern, I could feel it going the wrong way, like a reverse wee. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keith Houchen Posted August 24, 2016 Share Posted August 24, 2016 Once I went back to this girls house and I found out she had a five year old son when I looked over in the corner of the room and he was stood in the doorway whilst his mum was riding some stranger. Part of me wanted to smile a bad uncle smile at him but I told his mum, who screamed at him to get out before returning her attention to my erect penis. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Gus Mears Posted August 24, 2016 Paid Members Share Posted August 24, 2016 (edited) That's nearly as impressive as the time that Maxwell got caught ragging the Queen Mother by the entire armed forces during Trooping the Colour. Edited August 24, 2016 by Gus Mears Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Scott Malbranque Posted August 25, 2016 Paid Members Share Posted August 25, 2016 I did have to tuck a 2am horn sideways and up into the band of my undercrackers back in 1999 in front of my ex's mam. I was staying over in their house as we'd just started going out, and I woke up and needed to pee. Walked out in a pair of tight Beano/Gnasher jockeys on a wake-up kinger, and made my way to the toilet to do the downward dog/splits while standing over the pot bending/aiming himself uncomfortably downwards to pee, but on the way, Laura (her mam) came out onto the landing too and like a flash I put the chap over and under the band.  Anyone who’s been in this sitch knows that the undercracker band isn’t the haven you’d hope it be as you can still see helmet and jap eye popping out, and that’s exactly what she saw.Like a champ though, she didn’t flinch – even though we both knew what was what – and told me to go first to the toilet as I was the guest.  So I did, and aiming a horn, especially a rigid, strict 19/20 year olds horn, into the pot while your new girlfriends (and soon to be mother of my first born) mother was waiting outside, is fucking ferociously tense and I go and hit the floor/lino behind the pot with my piddle on the first burst. At 2am, that cunting noise sounds like a typewriter being kicked down a flight of stairs, so I’m cringing and panicking and I finish off the most painful, confusing, tense, delicate pee I’ve ever had and then the I still had the indignity of dealing with the noise of rolling the toilet roll out of the holder and wiping the puddle behind the pot.She smiled as I walked out mortified and defeated, and asked me would I like some Clonakilty pudding with my breakfast. The more I think about that, the more I love that woman!  And I still had the horn. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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