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2nd UKFF Fantasy Booking Cup


Fatty Facesitter

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Ah crap. I knew I was going out. I had something written up for the week before, but I didn't put it up and everything changed. Ryback turned heel, Henry started to feud with Sheamus, Rock got injured, Sting left, other things. I was amazed really at how quickly it changed.

 

 

Oh well. Good luck all. I shall return next year!

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Ah crap. I knew I was going out. I had something written up for the week before, but I didn't put it up and everything changed. Ryback turned heel, Henry started to feud with Sheamus, Rock got injured, Sting left, other things. I was amazed really at how quickly it changed.

 

 

Oh well. Good luck all. I shall return next year!

 

Yeah man, good stuff again, you put forth a good submission. I kind of shot my load on a big TNA show with Batista for a cheap pop!

 

Sorry to have knocked out a fellow Red Dwarf fan though. :(

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IT'S FINALLY HERE!!!!!

 

 

 

Semi-Final Draw

 

 

 

 

Semi-Final 1) Up Chuck vs Harmonic Generator

 

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Let's Rumble

I know that Rumble fever has well and truly died down by now, but I still think there's plenty of fun to be had with this one. I have so, so much love for the Rumble, both as a PPV and for the Rumble itself. There's been so many great moments over the years and it truly is only second to Wrestlemania in terms of importance on the WWE PPV calender. We get surprise entrants, big moments and the Road to Wrestlemania officially starts. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to book an ENTIRE 30-Man Royal Rumble from start to finish. We want to know ALL 30 entrants and see ALL 29 eliminations. Set it in whichever time period you want, including re-writing the history of a past Royal Rumble if you wish.

 

 

Semi-Final 2) Nexus vs Dirty Eddie

 

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Wargames

Last year's final scenario returns, only this time it doesn't quite close the competition. I do find it a pity that we haven't seen this match type rear its head in a WWE setting as of yet. Variations of it have come into play before, and Triple H often pitched the idea to management during the early Noughties, but it never came off and I doubt it ever will do. Still, it's a classic and some of the biggest stars to ever lace them up have done battle in this one. Same as last year, your job is book a compelling Wargames match, INCLUDING the build up to the match taking place. Focus on the rivalries too. Any time period applies!

 

 

Deadline is....Oh, fuck it!

 

Word limit is.....Oh, fuck off with that as well!!

 

GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

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"UP CHUCK... versus..."

"No whammy, no whammy, no whammy, no whammy..."

"HARMONIC GENERATOR!"

"AW MAN, that's a whammy."

 

Rock-hard draw, great scenario. Time to take this shit up a level.

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Congratulations to Harmonic Generator on reaching the next round. Good luck in the semi finals.

 

Thanks, I'll need it! Here's my entry. All I can say is, I'm pleased there's no word limit this time...

 

 

 

 

Note: In order for my storyline and Royal Rumble to work, I have retconned a fair bit of what actually happened in the lead-up to, and aftermath of, this Royal Rumble. Any historical inaccuracies are made for entertainment purposes. Think of it as an alternative history!

 

 

January 7, 2001:

 

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ECW presents Guilty As Charged. Rhyno defeats Sandman to win the ECW Championship. The company declares itself bankrupt soon afterwards, and Vince McMahon buys up the pieces in a deal in which nobody is quite sure of the details.

 

Vince, unbeknownst to the vast majority of wrestling followers, has also put his plans for the XFL on the backburner. He plans to use the money to make a much shrewder investment. One that, perhaps, is inevitable, but he wants it, and he wants it now, because he’s Vince McMahon, dammit. That acquisition? World Championship Wrestling. Even the wrestling newsletters hear nothing of the deal that was made.

 

January 14, 2001:

 

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Scott Steiner comes out of the Four Corners match with Sid, Jeff Jarrett and Animal as the WCW Champion. Big Poppa Pump celebrates, but the cameras cut to the stage, where Shane McMahon can be seen, applauding Freakzilla and nodding sagely.

 

“What’s he doing here?” the announcers yell as the PPV goes off-air. What indeed?

 

January 15, 2001:

 

RAW goes on the air, and Mr McMahon – dutifully accompanied by Trish Stratus - has an announcement. He brings forth a RAW/Nitro simulcast, much like the one we saw in our timeline, and, similarly to that one, Shane McMahon turns up on Nitro.

 

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Shane is the new owner of WCW, and he’s not going to just hand it over to Dad. He’s got a few surprises in store, and some of them might just come Vince’s way in six days’ time at the Royal Rumble.

 

“Maybe, dad, maybe, even after all you’ve done, a WCW star will main event WrestleMania. And just maybe they’ll take the World Wrestling Federation Championship, bring it to Monday Nitro, hand it over to yours truly, and I’ll throw it in the trash like you’ve thrown our legacy in the trash thanks to your actions with Mom, with Stephanie, and with her!” he finishes, pointing at Trish.

 

Vince is annoyed as the simulcast cuts out. He looks at Trish and snogs her face off just to make a point.

 

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Trish ain’t best pleased, but it is the Boss, after all.

 

Meanwhile, later on Nitro, Booker T beats Shane Douglas for the US Title. Just because.

 

January 18, 2001:

 

SmackDown. The final show before the Rumble. Vince struts down to the ring to respond to the events of Monday. He’s been thinking. He’s been planning. He’s been doing some business of his own, and if his son Shane thinks he’s going to bring another company to HIS Royal Rumble, he –

 

- “What about ME, Vince?”

 

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Paul Heyman appears on the OvalTron. “I know this guy, Cole,” says Jerry Lawler, “and I can’t stand him!”

 

“For those who don’t know me,” says Heyman, “my name is Paul Heyman, and I was the owner of a professional wrestling company named ECW. We were violent, we were dangerous, we were extreme! And you know what? We loved it! We just had our last show. You know why, Vince? Because we went bankrupt. You know why we went bankrupt, Vince? Because every idea I ever had, every unique vision for the future of this business, you STOLE! My livelihood, my friends’ livelihoods, are ruined now, thanks to you – you thief! So I’ll fight fire with fire. Shane McMahon isn’t the only one who can rain on your parade, Vince. ECW may have been killed, but the extreme spirit never dies! Vince, meet my Champion! Meet… Rhyno!”

 

McMahon turns around in the ring to spot a seething Rhyno crouched in the corner.

 

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He does the famous McMahon Gulp,

 

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And then…

 

“GORE! GORE! GORE!”

 

Rhyno raises his hands in the air and yells incoherent things, but when he turns around, BAM! Diamond Cutter! It’s DDP!

 

“Diamond Dallas Page! He’s not a WWF Superstar, King! He’s from WCW! What is going on here?” cries Michael Cole.

 

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DDP goes for a self-high-five, but before he can finish, the lights go out. The roar of a motorbike can be heard. The lights go back on and THE UNDERTAKER is standing in the ring. DDP is chokeslammed and laid out. Taker scoops up a still prone Mr McMahon and carries him backstage. Ad break.

 

We return from the ads to find Vince lying on the couch in his office, being attended by Trish, while Undertaker stands over them. Vince tries to tell Taker he did the right thing by saving him, but Taker cuts him off. “I didn’t save you. Screw you. What I did out there, I did for this company. My loyalty is to the WWF – NOT Vince McMahon. I will be the one to ride into WrestleMania X-Seven the winner of the Royal Rumble, and I will be the one to ride out as Champion. Nobody is going to take that from me, whether they’re WCW, ECW… That’s my yard out there. Mine. Screw you.” And off goes Taker.

 

Trish continues to tend to Vince, but just as her boobs start to loom over his face, Rikishi walks in. He’s a bad man, and this interruption has solidified that. McMahon is apoplectic and strips Rikishi of the number 30 spot in the Rumble match.

 

January 21, 2001:

 

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The Royal Rumble is here!

 

At the top of the show, we get a video announcement from Shane McMahon. It’s all about money, he says, and he’s got Ted Turner’s millions behind him. He’s been able to buy out some spots in the Royal Rumble so, sorry, dad, WCW’s coming straight for you. See you in the Rumble, WWF.

 

The rest of the Rumble card stays as it was. The Dudleys beat E&C, Jericho beat Benoit in the Ladder Match, Ivory beat Chyna, and Kurt Angle beat HHH for the Title. However. Following the title match, HHH is met at the top of the ramp by a familiar face.

 

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Ric Flair applauds The Game, and we can overhear him complimenting HHH on his efforts. “You came that close, Triple H, you coulda beat him and you coulda been the man, but you know how that goes,” we sort of half-hear. “I could beat you, old man,” responds Triple H. “We’ll see about that…” says Flair, as they walk backstage. JR and King wonder what Ric Flair is doing here at all. Is he here on WCW business? WWF business? And what does he want with Triple H?

 

But enough of the background. IT’S RUMBLE TIME.

 

Jeff Hardy is in at number 1, followed by Bradshaw at 2. Jeff has the speed to try and knock Bradshaw off his feet, but the power of Bradshaw means Jeff is being thrown around a fair bit, and this only intensifies when Faarooq enters at number 3. The APA double-team Jeff, but can’t throw him out, which is unlucky for them because after the countdown, the odds are evened as Matt Hardy makes his way out.

 

It’s Hardyz vs. Acolytes now, and Team Xtreme start to get the upper hand, hitting Poetry In Motion and other nifty moves. The countdown starts, reaches zero, and…

 

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… oh no. It’s Right To Censor. Mr Buchanan, Mr Venis and The Goodfather stand in a triangle formation, surrounding Steven Richards as he walks down the ramp. Which of them is entrant 5, though? The three heavies slide into the ring, followed by Richards, and it becomes apparent that Steven Richards is the man competing. Bradshaw goes straight for him, but is blocked by Buchanan, Venis and Goodfather. They have become a human shield for their leader! Faarooq gets a boot to the gut for his efforts, and Bradshaw is eliminated by the RTC! Faarooq follows shortly after, but while this has happened, the Hardyz have ascended parallel turnbuckles! They launch themselves at the RTC, but Richards drops down and is covered by Venis as Buchanan and Goodfather catch Jeff and Matt respectively and eliminate them both! Right To Censor are alone in the ring! Until…

 

5… 4… 3… 2… 1…

 

Sirens.

 

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SCOTT. MOTHER. FUCKING. STEINER. The WCW Champion is in the Royal Rumble! Shane McMahon personally announces him from the stage as he poses. Steiner tells Shane to give him the fuckin’ mic, and as he walks down to the ring, he endlessly berates and rips into RTC. He also points out the big gold belt around his waist. He’s already the World Champion, all he needs is one more belt to be undisputed, and he’s getting that right now! In he comes, and it’s ON! Steinerlines for Venis and Buchanan, Steinerline for Goodfather, suplex for Venis, axe handle for Buchanan. Richards tries to run and gets suplexed most of the way across the ring. Steiner is taking on four men and winning!

 

5… 4… 3… 2… 1… KANE.

 

KANE.

 

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KANE.

 

Steiner stops his annihilation for a second to watch Kane enter. Kane throws out Venis, Buchanan and Goodfather with ease (though sadly they don’t count as eliminations because they weren’t in the match). Steiner picks up Steven Richards over his head, presses him military-style and throws him over the top rope onto the rest of RTC. Richards is eliminated, and it’s Kane vs. Steiner! They start to clobber each other as the ring fills up.

 

Raven comes in at number 8, and he’s wearing an ECW shirt. “That weasel Paul Heyman’s words on SmackDown must’ve got through to Raven,” muses JR. Rhyno is in at number 9, though, accompanied by Paul Heyman. “WE ARE ECW,” shouts Heyman, loud enough for Raven to hear. He slides under the bottom rope and confronts Paul. “What about me, Paul? What about Raven?” “We don’t want you!” comes the answer. “Nobody wants you, Raven!” Rhyno clocks Raven for his trouble and throws him back into the ring at Paul’s behest.

 

Rhyno and Raven go at it while Heyman gloats on the outside. “That’s it, JR, I’ve had enough,” says Jerry Lawler, and leaves the announce desk. He goes after Heyman and punches him in the face, laying him out, and returns to commentary. “Sorry, JR, I just had to do that!”

 

*note: This would have progressed in storyline to a Lawler-led team of four facing a four-man team of ECW wrestlers at WrestleMania, but, just like in our timeline, Lawler walks out in February, so the match is shelved.

 

Rhyno eliminates Raven as entrant 10, Rikishi, walks down. He’s followed by William Regal, Tazz (“I wouldn’t put it past Tazz to side with Paul Heyman,” says Lawler) Test and Albert, before some very familiar music hits for entrant 15.

 

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The Cat! Ernest Miller is in the building, and he’s here to represent WCW!

 

Despite the ring being full of eight other guys, Cat stills finds space to have a bit of a dance.

 

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Rikishi turns his attention from Regal for a moment, and, savat kicking Test out of the way, clears some space in the centre of the ring. He may be a bad man, but he knows gimmick infringement when he sees it. “No, no, no,” he motions to Miller, and yells out, “PLAY THE MUSIC!”

 

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Cue Rikishi dancing to the Too Cool theme. Of course, after a moment, Miller is provided with a pair of sunglasses and joins right in. Then ‘The One’ Billy Gunn, entered at 16, appears in the ring and clotheslines them both down. (Presumably he’s annoyed that their dancing meant we didn’t get to hear his ‘One’ music.)

 

We’re up to nine entrants in the ring now, with Steiner and Kane as entrants 6 and 7 being the longest serving. But not for long!

 

5… 4… 3… 2… 1…

 

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NO. FUCKING WAY. IT’S GOLDBERG. IT’S GOLDBERG. IT’S GOLDBERG. GOLDBERG IS IN THE ROYAL RUMBLE.

 

Shane O’ Mac’s back on stage to announce Goldberg as a WCW entrant. “Kill ‘em, Bill!” he shouts as a closing statement. Goldberg gets in the ring and destroys everyone… except Kane. Together, the two of them eliminate Steiner (Goldberg gets him), Rhyno (Kane), Miller (Kane), Rikishi (Goldberg), Gunn (Goldberg again), Test (Kane), Regal (Goldberg), Albert (Kane), and Tazz (Goldberg), and by the time all that’s done, it’s time for entrant 18!

 

Well… it’s the Big Show. He’s back, and he looks angry. He takes down Kane and tangles with Goldberg, whose raw power just about matches Show’s size advantage. Their tussle eventually sends both of them over the top rope, the momentum causing them to eliminate each other! On the outside, Goldberg is first to his feet, and he Spears Big Show on the ramp! Shane goes to join him, but they don’t account for Show getting back up again! He is NOT pleased. Shane scarpers as Show and Goldberg brawl to the back. Meanwhile, Kane is alone in the ring. But not for long!

 

Entrant 19 is none other than… “is that who I think it is?” asks Lawler. “He’s the current WCW Hardcore Champion, King,” replies JR. “Just how many damned spots in this Royal Rumble has Shane McMahon stolen with his dirty money?”

 

But wait! Mr McMahon has appeared on stage! “Ladies and gentlemen, making his return as a WWF SUPERSTAR… Please welcome back, HAKU!”

 

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“He’s back! And he’s with the WWF!” cries King. “What a coup for Mr McMahon and the World Wrestling Federation!” agrees JR, as Haku shows no fear in going right for Kane. They exchange shots but neither can eliminate the other.

 

5… 4… 3… 2… 1…

 

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Keep it rollin’, rollin’, rollin’, rollin’, ‘cause it’s the Undertaker entering at 20. The Brothers of Destruction are both in the Rumble at the same time! Haku still fancies his chances, though, the tough bastard. Try as they might, the BOD can’t quite eliminate the Tongan.

 

Shane’s back out for entrant 21… Rey Mysterio, Jr! King and JR can’t bring themselves to agree with Shane for what he’s doing, but they put over Rey’s high-flying abilities. Can he survive against two seven-footers and Haku, though? Yes, surprisingly, as he uses his flying to essentially keep out of reach until Paul Heyman returns for entrant 22, who he announces as…

 

… from Dudleyville…

 

(“Who can it be? Bubba Ray? D-Von? Surely not, King, they’re the WWF Tag Team Champions! They wouldn’t join this extreme crusade of Paul Heyman’s?” “Who knows, JR, but I think we’re about to find out!”)

 

Little… Spike… Dudley!

 

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Down rushes Spike. Because he’s mental, he goes right after Undertaker, who goozles him, and chokeslams him over the top rope, where he goes crashing into Undertaker’s motorbike. Spike’s out of the match, and out of his mind, and possibly out of consciousness as his half-brothers run down to help take him away. But on the outside, they get ambushed by Edge & Christian, who in turn get ambushed by the Hardyz, and it all kicks off on the outside as, on the inside of the ring, Haku is eliminated by both Brothers of Destruction, but Rey Mysterio is somehow still hanging in there!

 

Lawler, during this time, has taken advantage of the chaos to sneak over to Heyman and punch him again.

 

5… 4… 3… 2… 1…

 

It’s two versus two for WWF vs. WCW, as Shane McMahon leads his latest entrant down to the ring. “This is it, dad,” he tells the camera, “say goodbye to your title, and say hello to KEVIN NASH!

 

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“Oh my God,” say both announcers. “Kevin Nash has invaded the WWF, and he’s in the Royal Rumble!” Nash slowly walks down to the ring. Rey’s been Kane-lined and Last Ride-d, and is out of commission for the time being. The BOD are ready for Big Sexy as he climbs into the ring. BIG MAN BRAWL commences as Shane gloats at ringside.

 

It doesn’t last long, however, as it’s two against one, and Nash is eliminated by the brothers, swiftly followed by Rey. Shane yells at Nash for losing, and Nash loses his temper. He hits Shane with a Big Boot, and drags him over to the Spanish Announce Table, where, after telling him that no McMahon’s gonna be the boss of Big Sexy Kevin Nash, he Jackknifes Shane through the table!

 

Well, it is 2001, and it is Shane McMahon, it’d be weird if he DIDN’T take a mad bump at some point.

 

Nash walks out through the crowd as BOOKER T, the WCW US Champion, enters the ring. It starts to fill up again as the odds get stacked against the WWF Superstars. DDP is next out, and then at number 26, it’s Heyman time again, as he introduces ROB VAN DAM!

 

RVD gets all his signature shit in, and lays everybody out (Kane’s been in since entrant 7, don’t forget) so he can do his thumb-pointy-thing. However, it’s soon time for entrant 27…

 

5… 4… 3… 2… 1…

 

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STONE COLD! STONE COLD! STONE COLD! He’s on a one man mission to win the Rumble and become World Wrestling Federation Champion at WrestleMania! Nothing’s going to stand in the Rattlesnake’s way! He lays right into RVD, Stuns him, and eliminates him!

 

Meanwhile, Lawler has made it three strikes, and punched Heyman for the third time. In the face. Shane O’ Mac is still sprawled over the remains of the Spanish Announce Table.

 

*note: Over the course of the following month, ECW’s assets are enveloped into WWF, and they no longer end up a distinct identity. Heyman becomes an announcer after Lawler leaves, and the talent is assimilated in much the same way as they were in our timeline, but Heyman quite often goes on about how ECW has been jilted and ignored, which creates a growing dissension resulting in the Invasion in the summer – which still happens as it did, just with a different way of getting there, with tensions boiling over the course of six months rather than it all just happening like it did with our timeline. Anyway, back to the match…

 

Austin brawls with DDP, he brawls with Booker, he brawls with Taker, he brawls with Kane. Several Stunners are tasted. And then, entrant 28 – it’s only The Rock!

 

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Rock goes after Booker. He goes after Austin. He goes after Kane. Smacketh down is laid, but everybody manages to avoid elimination.

 

More familiar music at 29, and the announcers speculate what it might mean as the entrant appears.

 

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“Is this another of Shane McMahon’s WCW guys?” asks Lawler. “It’s gotta be, King, we haven’t seen this man in the WWF for – wait! Here’s Mr McMahon!”

 

And JR is right, because Vince has appeared again on stage with another nasty surprise for Shane. Mr Perfect has RE-SIGNED with the WWF! What a stroke of genius from McMahon Sr!

 

Perfect gets stuck right into the action, and, thanks to Rock and Austin, Taker and Kane have been separated, allowing DDP and Booker to team up and eliminate The Undertaker!

 

Undertaker walks back up the ramp, disappointed in himself and angry at everyone else, but the camera’s not focused just on him. It pans up, right up, into the rafters of the arena, where…

 

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… can it be? …

 

… can that be Sting? Is he watching The Undertaker?

 

We never find out, because we have to cut straight back to the ring, where Mr Perfect has eliminated DDP, and The Rock has eliminated Booker T! We’re down to four men now – Rock, Austin, Perfect and Kane – and they’re all WWF guys.

 

But not for long!

 

5… 4… 3… Who could it be? WCW? WWF?

 

… 2… 1…

 

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HOGAN!

 

HOGAN!

 

HOGAN!

 

Hulk Hogan is entrant 30 in the Royal Rumble!

 

“But whose side is he on?” asks JR. We find out sharpish, as Vince cannot keep his glee to himself any longer. “You thought you could screw me over, Shane? You think you could use the Royal Rumble, and Hulk Hogan, to destroy me? Dammit, Shane, I’m Vince McMahon! And I am proud to announce Hulk Hogan is back where he belongs – in the World Wrestling Federation! Take that, Shane!”

 

Hogan gets in the ring and is met by Kane. He Hulks up almost immediately and eliminates the Big Red Machine, ending a great run in the match for Kane. We’re down to our final four. The last two of the 1991 Rumble, Hogan and Perfect. Rock and Austin. This is big.

 

Rock and Austin team up, very briefly, to dispose of Perfect, and we’re down to the three biggest names in the history of the business.

 

They all go at it.

 

It’s great.

 

Hogan eliminates Rock, and we’re down to two. Hogan vs. Austin. The Hulkster vs. Stone Cold. Vince cannot resist this opportunity. He gets in the ring, and on the mic, berates his nemesis. “Look, Austin! You can’t win! This is Hulk Hogan and he’s gonna screw you over! He’s screwed my son Shane, he’s gonna screw you, and he’s going to Houston to win the –”

 

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Vince eats a Big Boot from Hogan! Hogan hits a Leg Drop on McMahon! VINCE has been screwed over! A half-conscious Shane applauds from ringside as Hogan yells, “WCW! I’m WCW, brothers!” Shane gets in the ring, still applauding, but eats a Stunner! Hogan turns around and eats a Stunner too! Austin eliminates Hogan! Austin wins! Austin wins! Austin’s going to WrestleMania!

 

Stone Cold celebrates his third Royal Rumble victory as both Vince and Shane McMahon lie knocked out at his feet.

 

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The aftermath:

 

This Rumble set a lot of events in motion that affect WrestleMania X-Seven, so that the card for that show ends up looking like this:

 

The Rock vs. Stone Cold Steve Austin vs. Hulk Hogan for the WWF Championship. This ends the same way, with Austin pinning Rock and siding with McMahon, but plants the seeds for Rock vs. Hogan at X-8, allowing Austin, now he’s faced Hogan in a match, to go on to Goldberg at X-8 too. Eventually, we get Hogan/McMahon and Rock/Austin at WrestleMania XIX. Hogan is WCW Champion at this point (since he reconciled with WCW following Bash At The Beach 2000 thanks to the WWF takeover – don’t ask me how, he just did) so he could become Undisputed Champion but his title’s not on the line here.

 

HHH vs. Ric Flair

 

Undertaker vs. Sting

 

(Those two matches are in place of having Taker face HHH. Two interesting matches, I’d say.)

 

The Gimmick Battle Royal. Except this time, Haku and Mr Perfect are in it too. The Iron Sheik/Sgt Slaughter bit still happens, just this time it happens at the halfway point. Haku and Perfect are the last two entrants, they get to have a great little mini-match before Perfect wins.

 

TLC II (featuring Rhyno, Lita and Spike)

 

Shane McMahon vs. Vince McMahon

 

Kurt Angle vs. Chris Benoit

 

Chyna vs. Ivory

 

Kane vs. Raven vs. Big Show

 

(Those four matches happen pretty much as they did in our timeline, but the Hardcore Title match might include an RVD run-in.)

 

Right To Censor vs. APA & Scott Steiner. Steiner takes Tazz’s place from our timeline due to his RTC confrontation in the Rumble. RTC get obliterated.

 

Goldberg vs. X-Pac. Basically a Goldberg squash, but Pac’s in there because we’re using the old “if you can’t have a good match with Kid” logic to check whether Goldberg will fit into the WWF.

 

And finally, a Six Pack Challenge to unify the Intercontinental, European and US Titles - Chris Jericho, William Regal, Test, Eddie Guerrero, Booker T and DDP.

 

WCW does not continue to operate as a separate entity for long after the Rumble. The last Nitro still takes place in March, just as it did in our timeline. The Invasion still happens in 2001, just as it did, and from this point onwards, WWF is the only player in the game, just as it was for us.

 

And that’s your lot!

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