Jump to content

The most pretentious thing you've ever read


Mr. Seven

Recommended Posts

Inspired by Gladders posting that fucking disgraceful review of Drive elsewhere, I went and dug out music journo Paul Morley's article-cum-press release about Patrick Wolf that he posted on DrownedInSound a few years ago. It drew so much ire that the article was taken down and Patrick Wolf subsequently cancelled his plans to guest-edit the site for a week. Best part of the entire thing? Morley spells his own fucking name wrong right at the very end.

Be warned, this is the very definition of TL;DR.

 

 

Things you can know about Patrick Wolf from reading about him on his giddy, moderately helpful Wikipedia site: his middle name is Dennis, his parents were artists and musicians, he's 26 on June 30th 2009, he made a theremin when he was eleven, he was born in south London, he started recording songs when he was twelve, he plays a lot of instruments, he is classically trained, he's modelled for Burberry, at 14 he joined the Leigh Bowery sourced inflammatory art pop unit Minty, at 16 he left home and school and formed a pop group dedicated to fusing white noise, dance rhythm and the pop song, he has written and performed pop music ever since, and his music is described in various ways as though it can be described by using a word, a classifying genre name, when in fact words used to name and represent his music do not need to end with "tronica" or anything like that. If there was a way to use the word "pop" and also communicate that within that word is the meaning transmitted by words like 'dislocated', 'intense', 'convulsive', 'discreet', 'mesmeric', 'blow'. 'delirium', 'questions', 'little by little suddenly', 'indiscreet', 'answers' then he is a pop singer. He questions the relevance of traditional aesthetic categories. Watch as.

 

 

He falls in love with exactly who he wants to fall in love with. He falls in love. With love, and then what happens, and then who knows.

 

He falls in.

 

He falls.

 

He.

 

 

Watch him work, play and etc in a video you might come across. He.

 

Permits you to watch. He. Studies himself. He. Is assembling himself right in front of you. He. Smashes his way through limited judgements of taste. He. Is detached from everything including detachment. He. Is in rude health. He. Is looking in a mirror. He. Is looking out of a mirror. He. Studies you. He. Is constantly touring. He. Screams lust and heartache into listeners ears. He. May yet shock the masses. He. Has not been brought to your attention by accident.

 

His tumultuous, eager, na

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Replies 38
  • Created
  • Last Reply
  • Paid Members

I bloody love Paul Morley, I have to say, because he's so ridiculously pretentious that he just exudes inadvertent comedy.

 

A small piece of uninteresting Gladstone Small trivia, seeing as though the site was brought up - I briefly wrote for Drowned In Sound back in 2000.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Moderators

Paul Morley's a journo? I just thought he did talking head appearances when they couldn't afford Stuart Maconie on the proviso he can talk about the time he threw a shandy drinker of a punch when he appeared on Club X.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Paid Members

How they tried to score a cheap laugh from an 8-year-old dropping the C bomb, how often they forgot it was supposed to be fun and made it all po-faced and serious (the sex scene in the car park, for example), how ridiculous and overblown the ending was. Literally the only good thing was Nic Cage's dead-on loving tribute to Adam West's Batman.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I kind of agree about cunt usage, but not the rest. I didn't think the film was overtly serious but the story did call for it at times (During the death of a certain character for example). I was slightly torn about the ending but lets face it most of the film was overblown as it was so it wasn't exactly going against the grain. The tone of the comic is quite dark and I don't think they translated that kind of atmosphere to the film but I enjoyed it for its cartoonish feel. It was silly, and I like silly.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Paid Members
I kind of agree about cunt usage, but not the rest. I didn't think the film was overtly serious but the story did call for it at times (During the death of a certain character for example). I was slightly torn about the ending but lets face it most of the film was overblown as it was so it wasn't exactly going against the grain. The tone of the comic is quite dark and I don't think they translated that kind of atmosphere to the film but I enjoyed it for its cartoonish feel. It was silly, and I like silly.

 

It wasn't what was sold to me, and it wasn't silly. It took itself far too seriously for me to enjoy it as a silly film. It just didn't know what it wanted to be. Scott Pilgrim was much better at everything Kick-Ass tried to do.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...