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UKFF Porn and General Filth Discussion


IANdrewDiceClay

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Last night I dreamt that me and Rebeca Linares got married. We had a healthy relationship, and took part in many activities as a couple. However, at no point during this dream about a relationship with a porn star did it get X-rated, and was instead about a happy daily grind. How shit is that?

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Saw on BBC news website yesterday that Haji (of Faster Pussycat Kill! Kill! fame) has died. For anyone who watches Russ Mayer movies

I've just been forwarded the link to the website, along with a text reading "If you're feeling happy, don't check your email". :(

 

Only 67, which is a bit young considering the healthy lifestyle she was known for.

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Madlin is easier to spell than Madeleine. Simple as that, really. The first rule of porn is to get yourself as simple a name as possible that people can remember and spell. No-one has got time in the middle of a wank to type this:-

 

http://www.freeones.com/html/o_links/Orchidea_Kersesztes/

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I did a "ways Porn Stars choose their name" thing a while back on Facebook, here's what I had. Spoiler tags because it's annoyingly long.

 

<-- click on 'spoiler' to show/hide the spoiler

 

 

(1) Use part of your real name. Either just go by your first name if it's unique enough to get by, use your first and middle names only, or add an additional fictional name. Or just modify your real name ever so slightly. Or go by your initials and make up a fictional last name.

 

STOYA

JULIA ANN

GINGER LYNN

KERRY LOUISE

ANISSA KATE

KAGNEY LINN KARTER

 

..... or make up a similar but completely fake "two girls names together" name.

 

JILL KELLY

LISA ANN

EVA ANGELINA

ALANNAH RAE

 

.... from this point on, all silly misspellings are tolerated and even encouraged.

 

(2) Take your real first name then come up with a fictional second name that alliterates with it. Alliterated names do well in porn.

 

JENNA JAMESON

BRIANA BANKS

JESSICA JAYMES

CATALINA CRUZ

ASA AKIRA

SILVIA (Silvie) SAINT

RACHEL ROXX

 

(3) Just make up a completely new fictional name with some alliteration to it. You can fuck around with a bit of a joke name here if you want.

 

JASMINE JAMES

JAYDEN JAYMES

CARLA COX

CANDY CANE

DEBI DIAMOND

DIANA DOLL

KORTNEY KANE

LUCY LOVE

LANA LOTTS

MICHELLE MOIST

NIKKI NOVA

JENAVEVE JOLIE

KARMEN KARMA

KAYDEN KROSS

VICKY VETTE

LEXUS LOCKLEAR

HARMONY HEX

TIFFANY TORRES

LINDA LOVELACE

CANDY COTTON

CHRISTY CANYON

KIMBERLY KUPPS

ROMI RAIN

SOPHIE SWEET

SHYLA STYLEZ

BECCA BRATT

VERONICA VICE

KAYLA KLEAVAGE

WENDY WHOPPERS

 

(4) Use a name with a colour in it.

 

TORI BLACK

JASMINE BLACK

ANGELA BLACK

DOROTHY BLACK

JENNIFER WHITE

VICTORIA WHITE

DELTA WHITE

AVA BLUE

BLUE ANGEL

BLACK ANGELIKA

BLACK QUEEN

BLACK DIAMOND

BLACK PUMA

 

(5) Make up a completely nonsense name of name + noun, adjective + name or even adjective + noun. Nothing explicitly rude but definitely not a "normal person" name. OK, sometimes explicitly rude. And yes, a "hilarious" play on words is allowed.

 

ALEXIS TEXAS

DIAMOND FOXX

DIAMOND KITTY

DIAMOND JACKSON

AUTUMN HAZE

ANNA NOVA

AURORA SNOW

ANGELICA SIN

CANDI APPLE

SUMMER CUMMINGS

STORMY DANIELS

ANGELINA LOVE

SHY LOVE

MICHELLE WILD

ALISON STAR

RACHEL STARR

EBONY VIXEN

BONNIE ROTTEN

PUMA SWEDE

EVE ANGEL

ANGEL DARK

ANITA DARK

ANITA BLONDE

NIKKI BLONDE

SASHA BLONDE

VANILLA DEVILLE

ANGELINA VALENTINE

STACY VALENTINE

SUZIE DIAMOND

LANNIE BARBIE

CINDY STARFALL

PAIGE TURNAH

PORSCHA SINS

TARA BLOWS

JEWEL D'NYLE

STORMY WEATHER

CINDY CUPCAKES

 

(6) Come up with a cool name that you've nicked/been inspired by someone in another field like mainstream modelling, movies or music.

 

CINDY CRAWFORD (duh, after the model)

RIKKI SIX (after Motley Crue bass player Nikki Sixx)

KIKI MINAJ (after Nicki Minaj)

A lot of girls with the last name Joli(e) who think they look a bit like Angelina

 

(7) Just make up a one word name because nobody uses it and you'll be the only one.

 

BELLADONNA

RAYVENESS

CHANONE

DOMINO

HOUSTON

CHOCOLATE

GAUGE

MIRAGE

JENTEAL

SEKA

VICCA

 

(8) Just pick a normal name because you think it sounds better than your real name.

 

SASHA GREY

TERA PATRICK

CHANEL PRESTON

FAYE REAGAN

NIKKI TYLER

JACKIE DANIELS

 

... or at least something slightly exotic but still "real name" enough.

 

REMY LACROIX

RACQUEL DARRIAN

CHASEY LAIN

SHAYLA LAVEAUX

 

So.... yeah. I could go on and on really.

 

 

 

[close spoiler]

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Weird question, air_raid, but have you ever had pornstars in your wrestling federation? If you've been doing it for fifteen years, you must have been influenced by Rob Black and Jasmine St Clair at least briefly.

 

Not really. The sexual element has been rather downplayed other than heels making the occasional lecherous remark to the babyfaces' manager/valet/girlfriends. It's been there, but never in a "pornstar" sense.

 

The closest I've come is I just wrote a series of promos by the big heel faction where leader insinuates all the fans are serial masturbaters and refers to his mrs, the Womens champion and her "bosom the surgeons CRY that they can't recreate, that keeps each of your laptops warm, so to speak, once your parents have gone to bed and you can have your 'special happy time'."

 

Her own "explaining the heel turn" promo includes the spiel : "No, I came here to (fed name) because I'm a business woman with a business mind, and this company made me a very lucrative offer. (authority figures) made me a very generous offer, because they know I'm a bankable commodity. They know that to them, I am worth their investment back, tenfold. Put my face, or more likely put my tits, on any piece of garbage they want, and they know it will sell. Because that's all you people are. You covet that which you can't have and you worship those that are better than you. Well feast your eyes, because we are the best of the 'better than you', and we are the hottest property in pro wrestling."

 

Then a couple of weeks later, second in command goes on a rant about "This is a dynasty. This is a business. My pockets and these mens pockets are lined with the proceeds from our faces on mouse mats, our likenesses on T-Shirts and every type of paraphernalia, and by the end of the month if you want to see pictures of her in a bikini on your laptop, you're going to have to pay 14.99 a month for the privilege."

 

So... yeah, nothing stronger than Postcards In The Caribbean fayre. Although "stolen sex tape" would be a handy angle for a heel to torment a babyface with, if it doesn't remind me too much of the Styles/Lynch debacle.

Edited by air_raid
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New challenger - Madlin Moon.

 

What sort of a name is Madlin? Silly cow should be careful with that idiot spelling, anyone with auto-correct may find themselves accidentally whacking off to MP Madeleine Moon...

 

4216_201041085205_754685205_7071291_1269319_n.jpg

 

Not quite the same.

 

Did you find that out the 'hard' way?

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