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The 101 Unwritten Rules of Professional Wrestling


Glenryck Pilchards

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There are several unwritten rules in wrestling which we are all aware of subconsciously but have never been discussed in an open forum. What I would like you all to do is to write up what you believe is an absolute given rule in wrestling. For example the first rule is below.

 

 

 

#1 Never ever headbutt a Samoan: Everyone knows Samoans have the hardest thickest skulls known to mankind so you would be rather foolish attempting it as you would only hurt yourself in the process and make the Samoan very angry.

 

 

 

 

So thats the first one hopefully we can reach the magic 101. Over to you lot!

 

#1 Never ever headbutt a Samoan: Everyone knows Samoans have the hardest thickest skulls known to mankind so you would be rather foolish attempting it as you would only hurt yourself in the process and make the Samoan very angry.

 

#2 Villains very rarely hit anything from the top rope.

 

#3 Pretty boy heels will at some point show their bare backsides during a match.

 

#4 Wearing jeans for an unsanctioned match/street fight is a must.

 

#5 Grabbing a rope whilst administering a submission always increases the pressure of the hold.

 

#6 Don't go messin' with a country boy.

 

#7 Reversing a figure-four leg lock takes the pressure off you and onto your opponent (it doesn't).

 

#8 Foreigners are cheats or bumbling comedians.

 

#9 stopping after running at an opponent thenndoing your move increases the impact

 

#10 Don't ever expose the metal underneath the turnbuckle pad. You WILL get your own head smashed into it.

 

#11 A bucket of salt is more likely to lead to a victory than any dangerous weapon.

 

#12 A closed fist is illegal....unless you are a babyface on a fiery comeback.

 

#13 You must say brother at the end of every sentence

 

#14 If a camera is nearby, you should most certainly continue in your criminal/heelish ways without fear of repercussion

 

#15 If you are going to interupt someone who is talking in the ring, your theme music will always kick in just as you stride out to confront them.

 

#16 If someone wins a non-title match before they get a title shot, it means they will lose said title match

 

#17 Missing an opponent when going for a drop kick hurts like hell.

 

#18 If someone seemingly at random takes out from underneath the ring and sets up a piece of household DIY apparatus (i.e. a table or a ladder) in a strange way or position before deciding to turn their attention elsewhere, somebody will accidentally get dropped through/onto it in an extravagant manner later on

 

#19 Never trust a female valet/manager

 

#Bonus - Chairs, sledgehammers, ladders etc. hurt more in standard singles matches than they do No Holds Barred matches. But a championship belt shot will knock any one out clean regardless the match type.

 

#20 If you are a babyface tag team never ever contemplate a blind tag as the ref won't allow it, however if you are heel you can switch at anytime during the course of the match, whether or not the ref see's it.

 

#21 Babyface's never win the coin toss in a team battle. (See War Games)

 

#22 Guitars in Wrestling always contain a mysterious white powder

 

#23 The crowd cheering for you during a comeback means that holds performed on you will hurt less.

 

#24 If you bring out a sledgehammer from under the ring, smash it against the ring steps to let everyone know that it is the real deal, when when using it on your opponent, just jab it with your hand protecting him, it's still just as lethal.

 

#25 Climbing a ladder for a title must take 2-3 times longer than climbing a ladder to perform a move

 

#26 The "Unbreakable Bullet Proof" Glass in an Elimination Chamber match must be broken at least once, preferably more than once.

 

#27 Never try to powerbomb Billy Kidman.

 

#28 Also never ever climb up onto the second rope to deliver punches when the Undertaker is in the corner.

 

#29 Never involve dogs in a match as a gimmick.

 

#30 If the commentator screams that the match is over, the match isn't over.

 

#31 If you wear Face-paint chances are you'll be mentally un-hinged

 

#32 If in a submission hold whenb the ref picks your arm up it'll only ever drop twice - the third time is a signal for you to get a second wind and make your comeback.

 

#33 Never attempt a Sunset Flip on Rey Mysterio.

 

#34 It takes 10 times longer to climb out of a cage after doing a finishing move on a wrestler. If you just suplex him you can get to the top quickly but will always be caught.

 

#35 You can't headscissor Austin Aries.

 

#36 If John Cena hits you with two shoulder blocks, you should probably think hard before deciding whether or not to throw a punch at him.

 

#37 Don't have a good old rant about drugs/steroids in wrestling. Weeks later you will be given 30 days off for abusing drugs/steroids.

 

#38: Wrestlers in multi man tag team matches will stand on the sidelines when a teammate is getting pinned after getting hit by a finisher.

 

#39: If a wrestler wants to swerve turn on a partner without them knowing, pick the most gullible wrestler around to do it on...Sting.

 

#40 If you are the most naturally gifted athlete, your career is going nowhere.

 

#41 During a cage match, if you are climbing out, any time anyone bangs into the cage you will fall

 

#42 In the attitude era even though H.I.A.C meant no one could get in or out the cage always broke allowing wrestlers to climb up.

 

#43 If you're a heel running at a face leaning against the ropes in a battle royal/royal rumble chances are you'll get low bridged or back dropped over

 

#44 As a heel never hit a move and then shout "one more time" before attempting it again, this can only lead to a reversal of some description

 

#45 In a Triple Threat match when you choose to team up with an opponent against the third remaining opponent (making it 2 on 1), watch your back. Chances are your new best friends will attack when you least expect it.

 

#46 In a Triple Threat match one of the three always disappears to the outside for an extended period of time. Nobody knows why he's taking so long, it was only a bump to the outside.

 

#47 If a referee has his back to you, he also cannot hear you, nor see your actions on the giant screen he is now facing

 

#48 Even the slightest knock or shove will knock a referee out for a good 2-3 minutes, allowing a heel to bring in a chair/belt/manager interferes. Alternatively, the face will cover the heel for a good 10 seconds waiting for the ref to revive, and still no count

 

#49 Even the toughest wrestler will become a Walter-like softy the second he dons a referee uniform, and will get knocked out by a gust of wind or something.

 

#50 Don't accept a lift from Magnum TA

 

#51 Don't bother performing an opponent's finishing move on them at Wrestlemania. They'll only kick out.

 

#52 Any type of cake is a lot more likely to end up in a face, rather than a stomach.

 

#53 An in ring contract signing will ALWAYS involve either an altercation or a swerve.

 

#54 Marriages that take place in the ring always go really well and without any complications whatsoever

 

#55 Being the Tallest/Fattest guy in the battle royale rarely is an advantage

 

#56 Camera men are often Invisible when filming backstage.

 

#57 Attacks often only happen when a camera is present.

 

#58 On a PPVs falls count anywhere matches can't be called falls count anywhere matches- they're streetfights

 

#59 If you try and trip your oppenent with your body (sleep) whilst they hit the ropes...chances are they will jump over you

 

#60 If your oppenent is running at you and you jump, they'll duck underneath you

 

#61 If you're a Spanish announcer at a PPV, bring a helmet.

 

#62 If you are refereeing a No DQ match, still count when someone uses the ropes despite this making no sense. The entertainers in the match will never wait until the five count so you don't have to worry about awkwardly not disqualifying them.

 

#63 If you're a TNA cameraman wait until somebody starts blading before you decide to zoom in

 

#64 Be sure never to let anyone try to pin you in a Survivor Series match because for some reason your partners will very rarely come in to try and save you...

 

#65 if your facing flair (recently) there will be blood

 

#66 cages are designed to keep people out and you in. win by climbing over and escaping the cage

 

#67 In a cage match, never just walk out of the door - even if your opponent is down for an eternity.

 

#68 El Dandy shalt never be doubted.

 

#69 If Hulk Hogan is hulking up, keep punching him. Y'never know, you might get lucky.

 

#70 Whenever fighting in a non-match situation, you will still use wrestling moves to beat up your opponent.

 

#71 You will often walk around bare-chested with just a pair of trunks on, even when you're not scheduled to compete.

 

#72 Feel free to physically attack your boss as much as you like, you won't be sacked.

 

#73 If you've just turned heel, you will suddenly start dominating large periods of your matches, even though you didn't before.

 

#74 Veteran wrestlers will ALWAYS drop their head when attempting a back body drop and get kicked in the face regardless of how many times this has happened to them in the past.

 

#75 Even when wrestlers telegraph their finisher with a taunt, their opponent usually doesn't see it coming.

 

#76 No matter how much of a heel a wrestler was before injury took them off TV for a while, they will always return as a face.

 

#77 If you are in a royal rumble match and the wrestler you are currently trying to force over the top rope requires 2/3+ of you already, unless they weigh over 500lbs, give it up they ain't going over. Especially if they are gripping the bottom rope.

 

#78 - When being Irish Whipped, you must continue running until you hit something.

 

#79 Title belts are the hardest substance known to man.

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#6 Reversing a figure-four leg lock takes the pressure off you and onto your opponent (it doesn't).

A turned-over figure four hurts like hell, from what i remember?

 

to add mine...

 

#10 Don't ever expose the metal underneath the turnbuckle pad. You WILL get your own head smashed into it.

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