air_raid

JANUARY 2020 Welcome to the last "normal" post of these for a while. Well, I say that, at first glance there may be more NXT house shows than main roster ones, so I'm not sure it qualifies. Anyone would think covid had already struck! THE MAIN EVENTS 4th in Cape Girardeau The Fiend vs Daniel Bryan vs The Miz for the U belt goes on before intermission with a Big Dog multiman on last, next night in Springfield Bray's off so Roman Reigns, Braun Strowman, Big E & Kofi Kingston vs King Corbin, Shinsuke Nakamura & The Revival closes. 10th/11th in Fairborn (Nutter Center, suburban Dayton) and Corbin KY Wyatt vs Miz is underneath, Reigns vs Corbin continues on top in - is this real? - the dreaded Loser Eats Dog Food match. In 2020? Piss off! Some semblance of normaly sees Raw shows headlined by Samoa Joe, Aleister Black & Street Profits vs Seth Rollins, Buddy Murphy & Authors Of Pain 17th/18th in Lafayette and Jackson then 19th it's Joe, Ricochet and Kevin Owens vs Seth/AoP in Topeka. Meanwhile 18th-19th - Bloodline represent! - Reigns and The Usos knock off Corbin, Dolph Ziggler and Robert Roode in Knoxville and Chattanooga atop Fiend vs Bryan underneath. THE CARDS In Missourri it's Kevin Owens vs Seth Rollins, both Womens titles with Becky Lynch vs Natalya and Bayley vs Lacey Evans on the same shows, Viking Raiders vs The Revival for the Raw tag belts and continuation of Aleister Black vs Buddy Murphy. In the Mid West, we add back Randy Orton vs AJ Styles, it's Braun Strowman, Big E & Kofi Kingston vs Revival and Shinsuke Nakamura, and a 3-way of Charlotte vs Asuka vs Nattie (just 6 matches in Fairborn). In the Deep South Raw shows, Becky, Charlotte and Nattie team to beat Sarah Logan, Asuka and Kairi Sane, and there are two nights each for Raiders vs AJ & Luke Gallows (Karl's injured), Rusev & Liv Morgan vs Bobby Lashley & Lana, Andrade vs Cedric Alexander for the US title, Drew McIntyre vs No Way Jose and a couple of nights 24/7 nonsense that always starts as R-Truth vs Mojo Rawley, plus three more rounds of Black vs Murphy (which preceeds those 8-man mains). In Tennessee there's Braun & New Day vs Nakamura, Cesaro and Sami Zayn, Bayley vs Evans vs Alexa Bliss, Heavy Machinery vs Dash & Dawson, Mustafa Ali vs Drew Gulak and - he's back! - Sheamus vs Shorty G. VARIATIONS With no Fiend in Springfield its Bryan vs Miz. In Corbin but not Fairborn there's Rusev vs Lashley as a singles match. Exclusive to Lafayette are McIntyre vs Cedric and Andrade vs Ricochet. In Topeka only there's a match for Street Profits, added to the tag title to make a three way. Only in Knoxville does Nakamura vs Strowman to a DQ precede the six-man. MAIN EVENTS - NXT Judgment Day!! 10th in Pittsburgh it's Matt Riddle & Tommaso Ciampa vs Finn Balor & Damien Priest, then 11th in Warren OH and 12th in Buffalo it's Ciampa tagging with Dominik Dijakovic. 17th in Melbourne its Keith Lee vs Kona Reeves, next night in Largo Priest vs Shane Thorne goes on last. They're back on tour next - 23rd in Memphis it's Adam Cole vs Pete Dunne for the big belt, next night in Shreveport Dunne, Dijkak, Keith and Riddle beat Cole, Kyle O'Reilly, Bobby Fish and Roderick Strong. Finally 31st in Citrus Springs Dunne vs Priest goes on last. B shows - 10th in Venice Austin Theory vs Dorian Mak sure doesn't sound main event, next night in Fort Pierce it's Theory vs Kona Reeves. REPEATS Holy shit! In Pittsburgh and Warren, it's Kushida & Alex Shelley vs Steve Cutler & Wesley Blake! In Pittsburgh and Buffalo its both Rhea Ripley vs Shayna Baszler in a title rematch and Bianca Belair & Taynara Conti vs Mia Yim & Kayden Carter, plus Raul Mendoza vs Danny Burch all three nights. Plus there's also Austin Theory vs Dorian Mak in both Venice and Melbourne. OTHERS Pittsburgh - Dominik Dijakovic vs Shane Thorne. Venice - Monique Jenkins vs Marina Shafir and Reina Gonzalez & Briana Brandy vs Deonna Purrazzo & Indi Hartwell. Warren - Keith Lee vs Thorne, Bronson Reed vs Cameron Grimes and Rhea/Mia/Kayden vs Baszler/Belair/Conti. Fort Pierce - Io Shirai vs Catalina Garcia, Reina, Shotzi Blackheart & Rita Reis vs Purrazzo, Hartwell & Jessi Kamea and Santana Garrett vs Vanessa Borne. Buffalo - Matt Riddle vs Thorne, Lee vs Grimes and Kushida vs Arturo Ruas. Melbourne - Chelsea Green vs Carter, Kacy Catanzaro vs Borne and Garcia vs Shafir. Largo - Kush & Isiah Scott vs Mike Kanellis & Tony Nese, Theory vs Chase Parker, Mia vs MJ and Shotzi vs Jessi. Memphis - Kyle O'Reilly, Bobby Fish & Roderick Strong vs Keith/Reed/Dijak, Rhea vs Reina for the Womens title, Angel Garza vs Mendoza for the CWT, Riddle vs Jordan Devlin, Moustache Mountain vs Blake & Cutler, Ilja Dragunov vs Grimes and Belair & Kay Lee Ray vs Yim & Carter. Shreveport - Rhea & Mia (heh) vs KLR & Belair, Garza vs Scott, Walter & Marcel Barthel vs Blake & Cutler, Trent Seven vs Grimes, Tyler Bate vs Mendoza, Dragunov vs Reed and Reina vs Kayden. Finally Citrus Springs - Gonzalez vs Garrett, Carter vs Purrazzo and Kamea/Borne/Hartwell vs Garcia, Reis and.. here's another look at Mercedes Martinez, who I always rated. TVs 3rd in Memphis (6500) Ali vs Curtis Axel is the dark opener. 6th Raw in Oklahoma City (5500) Akira Tozawa gets on TV losing a short match to AJ and dark Asuka wins a three way over Becky and Charlotte. Wednesday night in Full Sail Garrett vs Hartwell and Mansoor vs Brendan Vink go one before they air live. 10th SmackDown in Evansville, Ali vs Gulak and Fiend vs Bryan are the dark matches. That Sunday in Blackpool there's a second UK TakeOver but nothing dark or especially notable. 13th Raw in Lexington, Big Show sighting! He teams with Joe and Kev to lose to Rollins and AoP in a "Fist Fight Match" which I'm not looking up what it means. Wednesday's NXT is in Bedford TX, Reed vs Ruas and Grime vs Burch are dark and Belair wins a contenders battle royal. Friday is the first of two nights UK tapings in York, Brian Kendrick is on hand to lose to Travis Banks. Meanwhile in Greensboro Ali beats Gulak again, look who's back - John Morrison pins Big E - and its Fiend vs Bryan again after cameras. Next night in York Kendrick loses to A-Kid (Axiom) and Toni Storm continues treading water losing an I Quit match to KLR. Monday 20th Raw in Wichita, Rollins & Murphy become my most-forgotten tag team champions ever by beating the Raiders and Andrade retains over Rey Mysterio in a ladder match - nothing dark. Wednesday's NXT has Mountain vs Reeves & Vink plus Grimes vs Babatunde before the show, Keith beats Roddy for the NAT. Friday before SmackDown Ali beats Apollo Crews and after it Fiend beats Bryan yet again. 25th in Houston a very decent card for When Worlds Collide sees Devlin lift the CWT, Ripley retain against old rival Toni and all four Imperium beat all four Undisputed. Next nighht a 42,000 gate must have been relief for the Royal Rumble - there's a lot of inconsequential rubbish, Charlotte wins the Women's Rumble and Drew wins the mens, despite WWE Champion Brock Lesnar (remember him?) entering himself. Next night on Raw MVP returns too, losing to Rey. Kamea vs Kacy and Joaquin Wilde vs Parker are dark before Wednesday's NXT on which Dunne & Riddle win the Dusty Classic against Grizzled Young Veterans, and finally 31st SmackDown in Tulsa it's again Ali vs Crews, Miz & JoMo become top contenders, Braun wins the ICT and apparently the Bloodline beat Corbin/Ziggler/Roode in a Loser Eats Dog Food match. I'm not watching it to see if they followed up. Fuck sake. NON TITLE WHINING Beaten this month : Nakamura, obviously (Intercontinental Champion) by Strowman, Bayley (SmackDown Womens Champion) by Lacey. DEPARTURE I probably wouldn't mention someone as marginal as Vanessa Borne usually but she's been showing up for ages... this is the last month she gets a match.

What's weirder though, a robot or that time SmackDown had a Palm Cannon in charge? It's not the joke I wanted to make, but I realised just in time that I was conflating "Palmer Canon" with "Canyon Cemon" who apparently is a volleyball player. So I thought I could say "Semen Cannon" and some of you would know what I was talking about. Ummm...... .... here's Hunter firing a Super Soaker.

The Match That Suspended My Disbelief I’m probably going to talk more about concepts and background than the match itself here, you’ll understand why. OK… so, suspension of disbelief is a concept in fiction simplified to “you make stuff up, it has to be believable” by Sharon Stone as Catherine Tramell in Basic Instinct (not that I’ve ever seen it, you are assured). In essence, the reader or viewer must allow themselves to believe (even on an unconscious level) that what they’re reading or watching is real for the sake of entertainment. Now, in pro wrestling, you’ve probably already conquered the biggest barriers to “believing” bell to bell in order to become and stay a fan to begin with, that being (a) the competitive aspect is predetermined and the action choreographed, and (b) the moves the wrestlers do (some more than others) are dependent on co-operation you wouldn’t get if it were real. However, the biggest barrier a lot of the time is that in the big picture beyond the actual match, for “smart” fans like your writer, is the awareness of writers/bookers and an overall storyline arc or “direction.” It’s not exclusive to the medium, of course - increasingly in film franchises with a “universe” you give zero chance of a major hero dying before the big ensemble “end of phase” film, or if a film does so well they green light 2-3 more films, you know the protagonist isn’t dying any time soon, so it’s hard to become invested in their plight. However in wrestling it’s harder still ; if you follow the sport online it’s near impossible not to stumble upon what “the plan” is thanks to Meltzer and others, even if the on screen story hasn’t given away where they’re going. You end up writing off certain matches with stakes as foregone conclusions, virtually not worth watching, because you already know who’s going to win, either because of lazy writing or you just know. Examples are multiple Royal Rumbles from the mid 90s onwards, or times Roman Reigns has had to earn or defend a title shot for Mania 31, 32 or 34. Indeed, knowing what they’ve lined up for WrestleMania in advance brings me nicely to my next example. (3) Kurt Angle v Chris Benoit (Royal Rumble 2003) Let’s head back to the summer of 2002. A face to face occurred at Vengeance between Kurt Angle, who was going for the WWE title on the night, and Brock Lesnar, who’d already earned a title shot for SummerSlam. Now Angle didn’t end up winning the title at Vengeance but soon after the NEWZ!1 sites started telling us that in all likelihood WWE had decided Angle vs Lesnar was “the plan” for WrestleMania XIX. The months wore on, and that reporting seemed accurate as events played out ; Lesnar would win then lose the title to Big Show and in the process be betrayed by manager Paul Heyman, then Kurt won the title and ended up managed by Heyman. Going into the Royal Rumble, the road to WrestleMania was lit up with neon ; Lesnar would wrestle Show first, needing to win to gain entry to the Rumble itself. The idea of anyone BUT Brock winning the Rumble was laughable at this point in the story, and it seemed nonsense that he’d challenge anyone but Kurt. So when Angle vs Chris Benoit was confirmed for the PPV, it was easy to dismiss it as a defence for Kurt to get out of the way before the real build could begin. I’ll preface talking about the match itself by saying, at the time Chris Benoit was my favourite wrestler. What he did and how he met his end probably makes reading a lengthy description of his matches uncomfortable for some, but sufficient to say at the time, going for the big belt, I would have loved to see him win it, but he wasn't going to. Even disregarding the factors that always had and always would convince me the company would NEVER put their World title on a man with his limitations, there was less than zero % chance that they would upset the apple cart of the obvious ironclad plan that paved a road to Angle vs Lesnar at Mania, with Lesnar both regaining the title and getting revenge on Heyman, the architect of his downfall. Though of course, there would have been time for "The Crippler" to win the title and lose it back to Kurt inbetween, neither me nor any of my mates watching gave any chance to that happening either. The pair had a match that was both technically good and unlike some of their previous meetings, played out in front a crowd that got into it rather than responding with polite murmurs of appreciation, as had plagued some of their earlier meetings (and indeed, a lot of Benoit matches). There was, as expected, a frequent exchange of Ankle Lock and Crippler Crossface predicaments with each reaching the ropes or reversing their way out. I couldn't pinpoint the moment where somehow the two wrestlers made me forget "the plan" but somehow, they did. At the point at which Benoit springs back to life after seemingly being down and out and locks in the Crossface for what ends up the final time... I'll be honest, I was on the edge of my seat and I was UTTERLY convinced that Benoit was about to win the WWE title. "Tap you bastard!" I shouted at the screen, it was embarrassing. Eventually, heartbreakingly, Angle wriggled free into an Ankle Lock. Benoit resisted but, and for the first time, Angle applied the "special occasions only" (for a while, anyway) grapevine on the mat, and with no way out, Benoit submitted. Losing nothing in defeat, even by submission, he famously got a standing ovation after the match. I'm not going to dwell on Benoit himself, but this match stayed with me and was, for the next four years, probably my favourite match. It reminded me of the power of great professional wrestling, that as "smart" as I thought I was, and as much as I "knew" what the company had lined up for "the plan" - when the wrestling is good enough, I could still let go and enjoy myself, and trick my brain into thinking it's a real sporting contest and not a pre-determined work of fiction.

Splitting the teams in the past I didn't mind, because it gave some jeopardy to the human beings that their team could get split up without them wanting it. But it was handled terribly in terms of there usually being no decent teams lined up to replace them. 2002 probably being the worst, with the tag team scene fading dramatically after Edge's promotion and elevation of Chuck & Billy, they then split up the Hardys AND Dudleys. There were then basically no decent tag teams until the "SmackDown 6" stuff happened, which was a time-killer for 2/3 of them anyway.

The Match That Made Me Care Who Won So, to follow neatly on from the last entry, I went back to Simon’s house not long after and told him I enjoyed Mania VI and did he have any other tapes from Wendy he’d finished with and I could have next - he did, and that night I took home 4th Annual, 5th Annual and 6th Survivor Series, again in unmarked boxes with no clues as to the content. This time I immediately made scart to scart copies (6th/1992 I still have, and it still plays) and watched in the process. Having been dimly aware of the (stripped down version) of a Survivor Series match from Super WrestleMania on the SNES, the intro again made the show look gigantic and the format gave a totally different vibe to Mania - later, I’d be disappointed that the “Grand Finale Match Of Survival” was a one off. As an adult I realised it’s not ideal to beat nearly the whole roster on one night, but as a kid I thought it was cool. But then there was a lot I didn’t get yet - the intro made me think Hogan and Earthquake were co-captaining a team initially. The tape was a real favourite for many years thereafter and featured the first match I got really into from the point of caring who was going to win. It affected me so much I started a thread based off it in 2012 then reposted it into a Survivor Series Memories thread in 2018 - I lift much of what’s written below from that original post, apologies if you’ve read it before. (2) The Dream Team VS The Million $ Team (Dusty Rhodes, The Hart Foundation & Koko B Ware VS Ted DiBiase, Rhythm & Blues & a mystery partner) Just to give you the background to this - it's about Bret Hart. As I've mentioned numerous times, I got into wrestling by watching WrestleMania VI. Now, the Harts had kind of grabbed me by looking the business both prior to and in the process of smashing the Bolsheviks in 40 seconds. In addition, Bret looked captain cool-as-fuck pinning poor Boris. He convinced me that he and the Anvil were the real deal. The next chance I got to see the Harts was this tape. Having figured out that this was not longer after WrestleMania VI and we were still in 1990, it didn’t surprise me to see the Foundation come out with the belts as I knew they beat Demolition at SummerSlam 90 thanks to one of Simon’s trading cards. The Dream Team were obviously going to be my favourites up against the Million Dollar Man who was clearly a shit, even if I’d not been a fan of the cheating Dusty did at Mania (thank you, Jesse Ventura). The match seemed to take on extra meaning for Bret when Roddy Piper on commentary poignantly told us that his brother Dean had passed away the day before, and expressed his admiration for Hart's professionalism, and that he had dedicated the match to Dean. The Dream Team really had their backs to the wall from the outset with the debut of the then-terrifying and enigmatic Undertaker (who even then I knew was a big deal) and as the match wore on they ended up down to three-on-Bret after Undertaker pinned the American Dream himself. Obviously at that point, Bret's goose seemed cooked. Suddenly the odds were reduced when Undertaker got himself counted out, deciding that it would be fun to beat Dusty's fat ass all the way up the aisle, and who could blame him for that. Hitman was still severely disadvantaged having taken a bit of a kicking, but he caught a quick one by reversing the Hammer's attempt at the Figure 4 into an excellently executed small package to further reduce the arrears. That still left Bret, who had taken a fair amount of abuse from Valentine, Taker and Honky, against the wily veteran DiBiase who was relatively fresh. Remember, this isn't five time WWF Champion Bret Hart, the "best there is, the best there was, the best there ever will be." This is Bret Hart of the Hart Foundation, one half of the tag team champions. He was never going to beat a top player like the Million Dollar Man, was he? Right from the off Bret was like a man possessed, rocking Ted with an atomic drop that sent him spilling to the floor and then a pescado - the first time I'd ever seen a wrestler dive over the top rope to the floor. It impressed the hell out of Piper too. Ted recovered however and lay a beating on Bret, but the rally soon came. When he snatched this backslide out of the corner, I thought he had the bugger. He didn't seem to have that lethal killing blow like a DDT or a Rude Awakening, but he could do it with wrestling. He could catch his opponent with technique, like Mr Perfect did with the Perfect-Plex. I thought he had him here. After that, Bret played possum feigning an injury - a moment of ingenuity I had never seen - and wrapped up DiBiase with an O'Connor roll and again, I thought he had him. He'd outsmarted the evil bastard. I thought he had him, but he didn't. Then suddenly, Virgil grabbed a hold of Bret, and I feared the worst. The bodyguard would be the undoing of Bret, as he had been of Neidhart earlier in the match, and Jake the Snake at WrestleMania. Bret evaded the knee strike from DiBiase and grabbed a snug schoolboy. THIS WAS IT! They had toyed with my emotions perfectly - I knew this was it. From the jaws of defeat Hitman had snatched victory.... ... but it wasn't to be. DiBiase kicked out. We had a pendulum backbreaker and a second rope elbow, and my God, Bret had convinced me he could do it. And in the very next spot, an exhausted Hitman went for a crossbody, which Ted rolled through and hooked a leg, locking fingers tightly, from which Bret could not escape. Bret's instant reaction at the time was to visibly exclaim "Fuck." Which as a child, I didn't notice, but as an adult, I really have come to appreciate. It's not audible, so nobody need get too offended, but the astute adult viewer will have spotted it, and it makes it seem a little more realistic because, well... you would feel like that, wouldn't you? I was crushed. Bret had won me over as a hero in showing spirit when the odds where against him and then pushing such an established technician and sometimes-main eventer to the brink, but in the end it was a bridge too far. It was obviously an important lesson that not all stories have a happy ending, but I felt awful. Not just because the guy I wanted to win didn't, and that the underdog didn't quite prevail, but I felt bad FOR BRET, despite him being "just a character in the wrestling." Fuck. In hindsight, Bret came out of the match looking a lot stronger in defeat. This was a match that proved, certainly to me, that he had the fire and (subtle) charisma to make people care and get behind him on his own two feet. He was the master at that, was Bret. He knew the real value in the match was that it doesn't matter if you win or lose, just how good you each look. It would happen to him again later on, when even in dropping the title to Smithers at SummerSlam 92, he sent out the clear message - put me on last, give me twenty minutes or more, and I'll give you a main event calibre match. I won't let you down. And to my mind, he never did. Of course, wrestling Bret was when Steve Austin fully, completely transformed from foul-mouthed anarchic ass-kicker to the hardest bastard you'll ever see at WrestleMania 13 in defeat, and I genuinely believe that in the WWF title match at Survivors 92 (one of my favourites) Bret and Shawn Michaels had the kind of match that might have opened some eyes to Michaels' main event potential, even in defeat. It was Hulk Hogan (ironically enough) that put it best as I quoted in my last entry : "It doesn't matter whether you win or whether you lose ; the only thing that matters is what kind of winner you are, or what kind of loser you are." Bret Hart : the courageous loser. Brought a lump to my throat. He was my guy from that moment on, and forever would wrestling be better when I had a dog in the fight.

I like to think I’m catching up, but I still don’t know who half those faces belong to.

The Match That Started It All OK, I’ve told this story a dozen times. My mate Simon was into the WWF - trading cards, tapes, Superstars on his Game Boy, a small collection of Hasbros, everything. I didn’t get it, my dad had told me it was fake, and despite my primary interest being cartoons about robots battling for the future of Earth or talking turtles, this meant it was a waste of time watching. Simon handed me a tape from his sisters video shop one day and said “Just watch it” with wisdom beyond his years - we were still in Cubs, for context. The tape was WrestleMania VI. I’ve also recounted how the colours, music, overall presentation etc made me realize early on this was something I was going to enjoy. And by the time Demolition made their entrance, it wasn’t getting switched off before the end. I’ve probably shared that watching the Harts smash the Bolsheviks I decided Bret “Hitman” Hart was the coolest cat alive, and might even have known then that he was going to be my favourite. Ultimately (no pun intended) it’s possible that if the show hadn’t delivered a memorable main event, that it might have been a fun one off viewing that at least stopped me taking the piss out of Simon for watching the fake fighting. Instead, it put an exclamation point on three hours that changed the course of my life* forever. (1) Hulk Hogan vs Ultimate Warrior To understand the impact this match had, it's worth pointing out that as a video shop tape, it came in a video shop box so I didn't know what "WrestleMania VI" was going to involve until I pressed play. The opening had Vince McMahon immediately do a voiceover so iconic in my brain that I reckon I can recite it verbatim ; “Upon the examination of the galaxies of space, images begin to appear. Images of strange and powerful forces. But of all the forces in the universe, the two most powerful…. HULK HOGAN….. and THE ULTIMATE WARRIOR…. prepare to explode! Champion vs champion, title for title! It’s the ULTIMATE CHALLENGE, it’s WrrrrrestleMANIAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!” ... you're going to have to tell me if any of that isn't correct. I was absolutely SHOOK when I saw this ; I knew from all the trading cards and toys etc that "Hulk Hogan" and "Ultimate Warrior" were two of the biggest characters and immediately I learned that they indeed had wrestled each other, and I was going to see it. When Gorilla informed me that the Hulkster was putting his title up against the Intercontinental title, I didn't really know what it meant, but it sounded like each man had a prestigious belt, and just like happened in the boxing, this was going to be for both. Without knowing anything about the WWF, I knew this at least SOUNDED like a big deal. With that powerful intro, midway through the tape there were duelling interviews from the men involved. I say interviews, but really they were monologues. First Mean Gene introduced Hulk Hogan, "the greatest World Wrestling Federation Champion of all time", who gave a typically Hogan promo ; "You know something, Mean Gene? You don't have to remind me and my Hulkamaniacs that at Skydome we're gonna face the Ultimate Challenge, brother. When we crossed the border from the United States of America to Canada, I was hovering over Skydome, brother. I saw what was beneath me, man. I saw the greatest arena of all times, where the Ultimate Challenge will take place and as we landed brother, nothing but stark raving Hulkamaniacs were there to greet me at the airport. Nothing but positive vibes, man. Hulkamania is running wild like it's never ran before! But the Ultimate Warrior, you must realize that when you step into Skydome, when you feel the energy that's gonna run wild throughout the arena, those are my people. That's my energy, brother. And Ultimate Warrior, this is where the power lies, man, and the power of the Hulkster, the largest arms in the world and once I get you down on your knees, Ultimate Warrior, I'm gonna ask you one question, brother. I'm gonna ask you: do you want to live forever? And if your answer is yes, Ultimate Warrior, then breathe your last breath into my body. I can save you. My Hulkamaniacs can save you. We can turn the darkness that you live in into the light! We can save all your little Warriors with the training, the prayers, and the vitamins, but I got to prove one thing to all my little Hulkamaniacs out there, it's not whether you win or whether you lose, the only thing that matters is what kind of winner you are or what kind of loser you are and Ultimate Warrior, I sure hope you're a good loser, brother. Whatcha gonna do at Skydome when the largest arms in the world and Hulkamania destroys you?!!" .... I mean, Jesus Christ. Immediately they cut to Sean Mooney with the Intercontinental champ who scowled "YOU ARE NOTHING BUT A NORMAL!!" before ejecting Sean and going on to growl, without a microphone required in his face ; "Hulk Hogan, I must ask you now as you asked me. Do you, Hulk Hogan, want your ideas, your beliefs to live forever? For Hulk Hogan, in this normal world, physically none of us can live forever. But the places you have taken the Hulkamaniacs, the ideas and beliefs that you have given them can live through me, Hulk Hogan. That is why I breathe. That is why the Warriors have come. Hulk Hogan, there are ones that question where you are taking them. Do you no longer want to walk or step into that darkness? Hulk Hogan, the darkness I speak of is nothing of fear. It is about the beliefs...of accepting any and all challenges at the cost of losing everything, Hulk Hogan. You have lived, Hulk Hogan, for the last five WrestleManias for this one belief. Now, Hulk Hogan, I come to take what you believe in further then you ever could. I come, Hulk Hogan, not to destroy the Hulkamaniacs and Hulkamania. I come, Hulk Hogan, to bring the Warriors and Hulkamaniacs together as one as we, Hulk Hogan, accept all the challenges with all the strengths of the Warriors and the Hulkamaniacs together. Hulk Hogan, the colors of the Hulkamaniacs are coming through the pores of my skin...and Hulk Hogan, when we meet, Hulk Hogan, I will look at you and you will realize then that I have come to do no one no harm, but only, Hulk Hogan, to take what we both believe in to places it shall never have been!" ... I mean, I nearly misinterpreted Warrior as a villain here, such was his treatment of the inoffensive Mooney and shouty scariness. But his words sounded like he wanted to create a new and better world for both his followers AND the Hulkamaniacs if one of them was going to fall (and clearly he was suggesting Hogan was going to fall) so.. maybe not? But... fuck. The tape cut to The Rockers making their entrance but... Jesus wept, I doubt I thought about much more than the main event collision for the next ten minutes or more. You know that South Park where they do the wrestling pastiche and it's all about the orphan lost in the woods or whatever, nothing to do with matches, and people are saying "This is the best wrestling I've ever seen?" It's the truth! Here were these two massive blokes telling me their story and we were still quite a few minutes away from the actual match coming on. When the match itself came, I was off the charts excited. Presentation was amazing. Both wrestlers entering on their own power without using the little carts immediately them both seem a bigger deal than everyone that had come before. 65,000 Canucks making noise and waving giant cardboard Warriors, Hogans or waving banners, the way Fink boomed "the Intercontinental Champion" and then "the WORLD Wrestling Federation Champion" made me feel both prizes were worth fighting for. The call was fantastic right from the start with Monsoon pointing out the Warrior running to the ring, Jesse Ventura convinced that was a mistake and that the wise experienced head of The Hulk took his time. That would continue throughout, with both debating experience for Hogan vs youth for Warrior, comparing the use of weardown holds by each (a chinlock by Hogan, a bear hug by Warrior). The action would be considered basic by today's standards but for two blokes never lauded for "storytelling..." this match told you a story. They used the test of strength, which in most matches ever I think of as a colossal waste of time, but here it looked like a genuine tussle. The two men traded big bombs and fought for who was stronger and who could wear the other down. There are multiple things in this match which were intensely dramatic for me, as my first main event, that I'd never quite see the same again. The ref bump was completely unexpected and I didn't have a clue what was going to happen without a ref. Hogan did a reasonably short leg injury bit, and again I was on the edge of my seat. Hogan's elbowdrops looked like they'd kill you, a belly to back suplex from him looked as impressive as the moves that ended several of the other matches on the tape, Warrior's double axe-handle off the top was sold by Hogan like they were lethal. I'd later come to learn that a Hulk Hogan match would tend to follow a formula, but this was a true back and forth. The foreshadowing shot of Hogan on the floor clinging onto Warrior's foot as Jim just stands there breathing in the adulation from his fans was incredible, and when he pressed Hogan over his head I lost my mind. The last minute of the match is a treat, even without knowing (as I didn't) how Hogan's finishing sequence usually goes down. I was exhausted and bewildered when Warrior won, and as long as the celebrations and fireworks and closing shots of Hogan going down the aisle in the little cart seemed to last, I simply didn't want it to end. I just didn't want "WrestleMania" to be over and have to go back to reality. I suppose, in a way, I never did! Between intro, interviews and match itself it played out more like a movie than a wrestling match. Does it hold up today? Probably not. But it's remained one of my favourite matches, even long after I discovered indies, Puro, "workrate" and a bunch of other stuff that doesn't matter compared to telling a simple story like Hogan and Warrior did. * This is not an exaggeration. Wrestling directed me to travel and to friendships, one of which moved me from the Midlands to the North West and led me to a particular job offer, and it’s at that job I met the woman I’m marrying in a few weeks time.

Shamelessly C&P, "Holy Grail: The True Story of British Wrestling's Revival" Then in 2008, Hollywood movie star turned WWE scriptwriter Freddie Prinze Jr. sat the former FWA and All-England Champion down at a SmackDown TV taping, and gave him some life-changing news. "They were going to put me in a big storyline with The Undertaker. I was going to lead a gang of X-Men style mutants. Every week, I would send one of these guys after The Undertaker. After he had beaten them all, he would eventually face me at WrestleMania 25. It was f****** incredible. Freddie was really excited about the idea, he'd cleared it with Stephanie McMahon and she loved it." On December 13th 2008, Hade made his debut on SmackDown, cutting a shadowy, sinister and cerebral speech. It was supposedly the first of many to set up his mega-money feud with the legendary Dead Man, one of the biggest superstars in American Wrestling of the past 20 years. As far as I [writer Greg Lambert] was concerned, my old buddy performed extremely well for a debutant, showing all the verbal confidence and charisma I'd always known he possessed in abundance. But then? "Then they told me they were putting the storyline on hold. I went home for Christmas, and within a week I had been let go. They fired me." Hade's is the most frustrating story, and a perfect example of the fickle and unforgiving nature of the wrestling business and especially its market leader, the global beast that is World Wrestling Entertainment. He left British Wrestling and seemed to have it made in American Wrestling. But in the end, American Wrestling chewed him up and spat him out. Vansen was always a survivor though, with a "que sera sera" attitude to life which served him well after this heartbreaking rejection. "Nobody ever gave me a reason why I'd been released, but there is one story that keeps doing the rounds, and I don't know if this is true or not, and that is Vince McMahon saw me backstage and thought I was way too small to be hanging with The Undertaker. But I wasn't devastated. When Freddie first told me about The Undertaker feud, although half of me had fireworks going off inside, the other half thought: 'Hang on a minute, this is too good to be true, you're not at WrestleMania yet, boy!' So when they said they had nothing for me, I decided to shrug my shoulders, have a cup of tea, and move on." Shawn Michaels ended up taking Hade's spot as Taker's Mania opponent, not a bad substitute at all. Meanwhile the South City Thriller quit wrestling altogether and went to seek his fortune in sunny Los Angeles, the ideal home for his Hollywood looks. The real-life Hadrian Howard still lives in LA and has no intention of coming home, or returning to the squared circle, any time soon. "I'd been wrestling for ten years and kind of gone as far as I wanted to go. I didn't want to work on the American independent circuit and wait for WWE to come along, pat me on the head and give me another go. So I thought I would be my own boss. I've done some acting in commercials, small film roles and appeared on Days of Our Lives, and I run a head-shot photography business as a sideline. I have my own flat in LA, I'm 20 minutes from the beach, the sun is always shining and you can't beat the women in California. I'm living the American Dream!"

Aye.

They had him on the road for the first quarter of 2003 beating low level heels like Matt Hardy, then him and Taker doing dry runs of the tag vs Show and A-Train. Which was so bad they decided they couldn't do it on Mania. I'd not heard that he was pencilled in to fight Taker, but it wouldn't have surprised me either.

You're hovering around the truth of the matter, and it's not bullshit that there were Taker vs Vansen plans. They aired the vignette late 2008 with a view to Hade being a potential Taker opponent for Mania 25. However, a lot of the office had been told good things about Hade without realizing he wasn't that big of a bloke. Freddie Prinze Jr tells the story that Triple H saw Hade, said "He looks like the guy that mows my lawn" - lots of people laughed, Vince heard it, and that was that.

Well, only in terms of televised in Spain. Domestically they still acted like he was undefeated until This Tuesday In Texas. Which was double bullshit as thousand of fans attending house shows or TV tapings across North America had already seen him pinned by Hogan, Warrior, or a very privileged few by Macho Man, or the good people of Halifax, Nova Scotia, by Roddy Piper.

Where’s the bullshit here?

I've heard that Tito was on the famed "list of 6" when they were scrambling to get in a new star when Flair was hurt and Warrior wasn't going to work out, where they ended up going with Bret. Of course, just because Bret was told "there are six names on the list and you're one of them" doesn't mean it was true. You know how these things tended to go.

You're conflating two parts of the Regal-to-WWF story. At the time it was indeed going around in the Observer etc that the WWF thought he might make a good opponent for Austin (and Steve might have gone to bat for Regal, they'd been friends), but it wasn't until later that he was repackaged. He first debuted on Raw in the June time as "Steven Regal" in his "Lord" persona in everything but name. They probably clocked reasonably soon thereafter that a combination of Regal not being in the shape they hoped for and a lukewarm reaction, were indicators he wasn't ready to be built up for Austin. He was repackaged as "A Real Man's Man" in the fall.. and you know the rest. Probably not as unthinkable as you believe.

Just a thought ; while everyone's got used to the idea Gunther might be moved up to main event challenger status, I think it's a lock that he'll be drafted to SmackDown. As a baddie, it's more likely he'll be pointed at Cody than Priest. I think title feuds will be thus ; for Priest, Jey Uso as we already know, then LA Knight once he's been drafted, then Drew at Clash Glasgow. For Cody, AJ then Gunther. Those probably take us into briefcase season at which point all bets are off. Still think Priest vs Balor is where we land.

20,000 people in the shadow of the Etihad. Make your own jokes. Probably won't hold quite the sway of "you dont want to miss something special" as other cities since they've already changed the WWE title in Manchester. I didn't go. I think about it at least once a week.

That’s a good one. Another reason, as if they needed one, was that viewers wouldn’t need that long a memory to recognise “Fallen Angel” as having done a job to Taka on Shotgun. He’s not coming in to play a starring role. It’s a weird one all ends up, if they didn’t find a spot for him at all as a wrestler, why they’d employ him in that position. For what he’d have delivered as a cult leader style character they could have just got Jackyl back in.

Interesting. What’s often forgotten about the much-maligned 90 day clauses is that the wrestlers still get paid their downside throughout. So for every five instances of people frustrated to twiddle their thumbs instead of getting right back on TV with their new employer, there’s one that sometimes comes out and says “It gave me chance to heal up a bit.” So if WWE are made to adhere, while it would return to the wrestlers the right to jump straight back on the wheel, it would also deny them a little paid break while they court potential new companies to work for.

Which was an accidental fuck up of a planned clean pin, out of her own mouth. Not refusing.

"TLC" only really exists as a name which WWE use. It's a ladder match. The rules are exactly the same. Do whatever the fuck you want, use any weapon you want, win by climbing a ladder and retrieving what's hanging.

My dream of Rhea vs Dom is still alive.

It wasn't that she wouldn't lose clean, she just wasn't keen on tapping out. Which I (and their agent, and Becky) understood. She loved Liv, mind. That "extreme rules" match where she beat her, she wanted them to be rolling round in thumb tacks when Liv passed out rather than tap, so Morgan looked hard as nails for not submitting to the pain even in dropping the belt back to Ronda.

Presumably "3 time champion" includes that reign and her two runs with the tag titles.