Smackdown Discussion Thread

[Ric Flair's Divorce Lawyer]

I really enjoyed Smackdown this week. It was good build for the main event of Survivor Series and it was a fine closing show segment before. It looks like they are going to go with Ryback vs Triple H at some point.

 

The only downside to the whole show was the firing stipulation added to the rest of Team Cena. We all know what they are not going to get fired if Team Cena lose. If The Authority wins (I imagine they will) it will be interesting to see how they get around the firings. In my mind, Vince would overrule him and continue their dissension into Mania season for the supposed Vince guy (Ryback?) v Triple H Wrestlemania match.

[FLips]

Team Cena getting obliterated and John Cena deciding not to help them wasn't great.

[King Pitcos]

It made more sense on Smackdown when he wasn't there than on Raw when he was.

[FLips]

Did they explain on Smackdown that he wasn't there? I must have missed it.

[Arch Stanton]

He rarely is on SmackDown any more. They don't even bother to explain his absence these days, it's just understood that 'it's SmackDown, so Cena's not here'.

[King Pitcos]

It's Smackdown. If they've not made a big song and dance about how John Cena's in the arena, he's not there.

[tiger_rick]

I also thought the thing with the firing stipulation telegraphed the finish on Sunday. Triple H threatening to make their life a misery would have had the same effect without making the result feel obvious.

[Linus]

Hey, it's Smackdown, and being a PPV week it's kind of a must-watch, right?

Show started with Michael Cole - Michael Cole! - in the ring interviewing HHH. HHH got all pissy with him over his questioning. This was okay, but kind of defeating. HHH put over himself by saying he was at the top with all the legends - Hart (though not really, eh?), Michaels, Austin, Rock, Foley - and he was the only one still here. You could take this as the WWE's best days being far behind them (which they are, of course, but you shouldn't be admitting that on your TV show) or that he's really, really old. *Shrug*.

HHH said that Vince was a genius who had built all this, and that only he & Stephanie could take over when Vince was done. What about Shane? What about the ghost of Jack Tunney? What about Raven?

HHH called out all the members of Team Cena, bar Cena, who never shows up on Smackdown. Talking of which, isn't he dating Nikki Bella? So if he never works Smackdown and she does, is Tuesday night guy night in the Cena household? I can imagine him sitting in his pants, watching The Chase, covered in orange Cheetos dust. Good stuff.

Aaaaanyway, Team Cena comes out and are told that, if they lose at Survivor Series, they will be fired. Yes, the Authority, which always does what's best for business, will fire three of its top guys. And Big Show. They did not like that.

Rusev came out, straight past them, because he's in the opener, against Dolph Ziggler, who presumably just walked down to the ring since he was already out there.

This was kind of a long squash. Dolph got some stuff in, including a Zig Zag (Christ, I hate the move and the name), but Rusev got the win clean. And then put the Accolade on after. The ref did a great job of not being able to break it, although not as good a job as that ref in Kaiju Big Battel did that time when he couldn't even move a ladder.

Backstage, Kane was talking to someone off camera. We did not see who it was. Intriguing...

Oh, wait, it was only Cesaro. Kane thanked Cesaro for his japes on Raw and asked him for one more favour, fighting Erick Rowan. Presumably under the rules of professional wrestling, because that's how you take out your opponents...

Hey, it's Miz and Mizdow! Miz is talking about what will be on his rider when he wins the tag titles. He actually talked in the first person while Mizdow copied his every word. Gold.

Ugh, it's another one of these tag matches with those guys you hate. This time it's Miz & Mizdow versus Los Matadores. It ruled when Mizdow was doing his stuff, it sucked when he wasn't. They did another one of those Mizdow tags in and Miz gets heel heat by simply tagging him out spots. The BEST THING EVER was Miz getting tossed into the Usos (who were at ringside doing commentary) and then Mizdow threw himself into the Dust Brothers (who were also out there doing commentary). Miz then got pinned. Booooooooo.

Dean Ambrose came out for talky. He had promised to show off his survival kit, and revealed that his whole body was his survival kit. Okay. He then promised violence on Bray Wyatt.

Wyatt came onto the screen and he was in a prison cell, like Dean's daddy. He said some stuff. Dean did not like it.

Hey, remember on Raw when Brie Bella came out dressed as AJ Lee? Now AJ has come out dressed as Nikki Bella, complete with false boobies and ass. How we laughed. She's fighting Brie. If I were to tell you it ended in a roll-up, would you be shocked? Brie has been Nikki's bitch for 28 days and she's done shit all. FAIL.

Cole said Sheamus is out for ages because Mark Henry put him through a table. Hopefully longer than Jack Swagger, who was so badly injured he had to miss being part of Team Cena at Survivor Series yet wrestled on the Main Event before it. CONSISTENCY PLEASE!!!

That Cesaro is a strong guy, yeah? Well, the story of his match with Erick Rowan, on next, was that he couldn't get the big freak off his feet, or overpower him at any point. Nothing worked. This was good, if a bit empty. It really got Rowan over. Rowan won with an Argentina Backbreaker.

Luke Harper came out and tried to appeal, silently, to Rowan. Rowan wanted to fight. Harper thought better of it.

Backstage Renee talked with Team Cena. They all said some stuff about how they didn't care about the stipulation, while Rowan stood there doing a Rubik's Cube. Ryback also mentioned that he was doing it for Team Cena and Team Ryback. He just won't let it go, will he? Erick Rowan was invited to add something and he said one word: freedom. They all put their fists together and shouted, "FREEDOM!"

Hey, it's the main event! It's Ryback and Big Show versus Kane and Seth Rollins, with Ziggler and Rowan banned from ringside. No need to ban Cena, of course. Or even mention him. Odd.

This was mostly Ryback and Show over Rollins. HHH came out with the goons and Mark Henry and Rusev. No women, you'll note. All business.

Kane briefly got on top, but the faces dominated again, and Ryback was about to kill Rollins for the win when Team Authority attacked Show on the outside for the DQ. Ziggler and Rowan ran down for the save, but both were beaten down. Show did a semi-ROAR spot but HHH ended all resistance with some chair shots. He waffled EVERYONE. Well, everyone on Team Cena, anyway. Faces were left lying as HHH's serious face ended the show.

A Pretty Good Show.

[Arch Stanton]

I'm really not getting all the love going around for the Mizdow gimmick. I like the pairing of Miz and Sandow and I like the stunt double idea, but the Chikara style comedy isn't working for me. In fact, it's not even the act itself that is starting to wind me up as much as the completely over the top 'lololol best thing ever' reaction from sections of the audience that's doing it.

 

For Sandow, it's not a great sign to be put in this sort of gimmick. He won MITB in 2013, it's a little over a year since he lost a very competitive world championship match against John Cena. Now he's a total joke. There is a way back of course, anyone can be rebuilt if the company wants to, but it rarely happens.

[Linus]

I'm just enjoying it for what it is: good comedy. The WWE would be a very different place if I - or you - had the pencil.

[Arch Stanton]

Is it good comedy though? I think it feels far too forced at this point. Seems like the creative team have jumped on something that got over quite organically thanks to Sandow's great comic timing and are set to run it into the ground.

 

I know I am over-thinking something that isn't designed to be watched with a fully functioning brain at all, but I would be more accepting of the gimmick if it appeared that Sandow at least had some sort of motivation for behaving that way.

[King Pitcos]

Double.

[King Pitcos]

I don't think Sandow's in too bad a spot. With Adam Rose flopping, the Santino role's still going empty, and Mizdow is putting the work in now to jump into that bed -- with the added bonus of not being useless at wrestling.

 

And as long as they keep finding great spots to do with it, I'm happy. The one on this show with the guest commentators was inspired.

[Linus]

Hey, it's Smackdown, and after a terrible Raw, too!

Show started with Miz and Mizdow in the ring for MIZtv. Miz is still holding both tag-team belts, and Mizdow has his replicas. Such simple shit but it works.

Their guest is Big Show, who comes out ot explain his actions at Survivor Series. Miz says his real mistake wasn't turning on Cena, it was joining Team Cena in the first place. Show agreed and said Erick Rowan doesn't get to judge him. If your actions can't stand up to the scrutiny of a man in a sheep mask, then I don't know what to tell you.

Bryan the gnome came out, and it seems he's still running the WWE this week. He started making some matches for tonight, including Ryback versus Rollins, and Harper versus Ziggler for the Intercontinental Title.

Moz told Bryan to stop stealing his spotlight and Bryan told him Mizdow had already done that. Nice. Show told Bryan he was short, but Bryan ignored him. Good lad.

Bryan said that, since Rusev hadn't pledged allegiance to the flag on Raw, he would have to face the alternative. On Monday that was a company-wide Battle Royale, but tonight it was just a 20-man one. With Miz & Mizdow & Show in it and starting now!

This had lots of - well, 20 - guys in it. Curtis Axel was out there, as were Slater & Titus, and Sin Cara, and Jack Swagger, and Justin Gabriel, and Tyson Kidd. Los Matadores, the Usos, and the Dust Brothers were there, too. Oh, and Cesaro and Adam Rose and Erick Rowan. Lots.

Because professional wrestlers are idiots, the other 19 in the match did not immediately gang up on Rusevm, thus ensuring whoever won would become the new US champion. Instead, they did the usual start.

This was your usual Battle Royale, with some good eliminations. One thing that's always annoyed me about Battle Royales is that they're announced as over-the-top-rope Battle Royales but you can go over the top rope and survive if your feet don't touch the floor. I realise that over-thetop-rope-and-feet-touch-the-floor Battle Royale is unwieldy but it's accurate.

Miz got eliminated and Mizdow eliminated himself in the same way. Of course.

Came down a final four of Rusev (Russian). Kidd (Canadian), Cesaro (Swiss) and Swagger for the United States title. The Intercontinental title later in the show was fought over by two Americans. *Shrug*

Rusev got the win, eliminating Swagger last. This wasn't bad, just illogical. Nice high-impact start to the show, though.

Backstage, Kane was working the merch stand. He was giving out t-shirts to kids. That's not how jobs work! Santino came up and asked for something. Kane scared him away. KaneFAIL.

Hey, it's Bray Wyatt! He did a long talky setting up his match at the TLC PPV. This had a good intensity but I think it's a little lost. It would be better done backstage, or pre-taped, but what do I know? He says he's going to put Ambrose in the dirt.

Joy, it's the women. Actually, this wasn't that bad. It was dancing ree-ree Emma versus Divas Champion Nikki Bella. Brie is still coming out with Nikki after the "bitch" stip ended, so I guess they're pals now? Why? Forget I asked.

So, yeah, this match was okay. Emma has very bad feet, though. In that they're pointing outwards when she stands, walks, and runs the ropes. She reminds me of one of the top UK stars of the early noughties, who was rejected by a top US company because of his foot placement, which was equally distracting.

Nikki won with the Rack Attack, but not before Emma had spanked her. Nikki then ran down AJ on the mic, which brought AJ out - in street clothes, shoot! - and she scuffled with Brie before the twins took a powder. This feud will continue!

Backstage, the merch table Kane was working was all wrecked. Poor Kane.

Hey, it's Ryback. He's fighting Seth Rollins, who still has J&J Security with him. Who's paying them now?

It was okay, but too long for a Ryback match even at this point. They need to keep that shit short except on PPV. They did all kinds of stuff but Ryback had the shellshock ready for the win when Kane ran down with a chair - the ref called for the DQ.

Kane swung at Ryback but missed. Ryback got the chair and went to hit Kane, but Rollins grabbed the chair and Ryback ate a big boot from Kane. Kane then waffled Ryback with the chair before chokeslamming him onto it.

Heath Slater, Titus O'Neil, and Curtis Axel are in the ring. Their opponents are the not-at-all-racist New Day - Kofi Kingston, Xavier Woods, and Big E.

To my heartbreaking dismay, the New Day did NOT come out with a full gospel choir in tow. Booooooo!

The New Day won, you'll be surprised to hear, with lots of smiles and lots of moves. I can't see this doing anything but what do I know?

Backstage Renee spoke to Bryan the gnome about his return to the WWE. He said he'd enjoyed being in charge but had one decision to make - Kane versus Ryback in a Chairs Match at TLC. I don't even know what one of those is. I can guess, though. Backstage Renee asked Bryan if he'd be back soon and he said - guess what? - YES! YES! YES! (he won't).

In a whacky skit, the Dust Brothers were upset about science failing them. Something something black holes something something the New Day.

Hey, it's the main event! It's Ziggler versus Harper for the Intercontinental Title! Ziggler lost this two weeks ago but only because he was beaten up before the match, right? He wasn't tonight so ergo...

They went to nearfalls right from the off because why not, I guess. They did their stuff in the ring, and then went to the outside. Harper threw Ziggler over the announce table and then threw an office chair on him. This was not a DQ.

Harper picked him up and was about to throw him back in the ring when Ziggler hit a superkick and scrambled inside for the count-out win. Titles, of course, don't change hands on a count-out, so Ziggler is an idiot. A winning idiot, but an idiot nonetheless.

Harper attacked Ziggler after the match but Ziggler hit the ZigZag to end the show.

This was a Better Show than Raw. Maybe that's because it was less than 90 minutes, all told, rather than Raw's horrible, horrible 3 hours? I don't know. You might.

[Undefeated Steak]

 

This was a Better Show than Raw. Maybe that's because it was less than 90 minutes, all told, rather than Raw's horrible, horrible 3 hours? I don't know. You might.

 

It doesn't help things. Raw's like watching a really shit version of The Godfather once a week. Actually, Raw's 2 minutes longer than The Godfather.