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UKFF Rap Battle 2013 - Group B QF2

John Matrix

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You have until 09:00 on Wednesday 3rd of July to vote for your favourite rapper.


Each has until that time to submit one 16 line response so you choose to vote blindly, based on the first effort, or you can wait until you've heard both raps.




Did you hear what Nick said when he heard he drew me?


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Nice woman jibes there Shakespeare, No go back to reading Othello,

While you're away, your squeeze is getting kabonged in a brothello.


I'm the ZENITH of sexy. A player, a sexual terminator,

Last time you had some arse was when your finger ripped through the toilet paper.


That's all you've got Genny? Well I'm grinning from ear to ear.

My rhymes be so sick, they'd even make KAY BURLEY shed tears.


Ipswich? Nay, she comes from the land of fine wine and Nandos!

For that insult? I'm making like I'm Barry George and you're Jill Dando.


You diss my writing, but you know they're super saiyan like Kakarot,

Yo' writing skills are as useful as Colin McRae's as a chopper pilot.


Your spittings are like your plays: You're getting no audiences!

I've treated you like you're a baby and I'm Ian Watkins from Lost Prophets.


There's a catch to all this though, for I've caused your lyrical death,

And now I can't get the blood off of my hands like Lady Macbeth!


I've been a pleasure Harmy, quite barmy. But know this you bellend:

You shouldn't have ran once more into this breach, dear friend!

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Fine wine and Nando's = Portugal?


Yeah. Some of her family are over now for her graduation tomorrow. First time my parents had a chance to meet the in-laws and it honestly couldn't have gone any better. A truckload of Pimms and a BBQ in the sun is the best ice-breaker ever.

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