HarmonicGenerator

PM sent. I missed the first twatlist but reading through it has been an absolute treat. If anyone hasn't I strongly urge them to do so, top entertainment.

Thanks. I hope the new list will be just as good - but for that to happen we need more votes! Just over a week to go, people. Come on Waterboy and crawlingwest, get those lists in!

Also, not nearly enough people have nominated John Bishop or Fearne Cotton. This needs to be rectified.

The story so far:

68 different twats have been nominated up to now, and it's currently a three twat race for the top spot.

But we need more! More nominations! More twats! Get your votes sent in!

You've got this weekend, and all of next week, so there's still time - but get them sent!

My vote goes to the WONGA!! man.

Good choice. He's possibly worse than the Go Compare man.

Fuck. I forgot about Jamie Redknapp. Harmonic, can I send you an editted list?

 

Worry not, I'll add him on.

 

Can I send you a rant about him?

Oh, shit, yeah, forgot about that. Go for it.

Fuck. I forgot about Jamie Redknapp. Harmonic, can I send you an editted list?

Worry not, I'll add him on.

Also how long have we got I am only at number six and it takes a while to write these up.

You've got until a week on Sunday. Plenty of time - when you're finished just PM me or email me at the address in the first post with your picks.

Keep 'em coming, folks, there are currently two front runners (and Jordan's not one of them).

Oh, and gmoney, Steve Wright is far and away the most annoying broadcaster in a mainstream slot.

Richard Bacon should really be on there.

Isn't Richard Bacon so under the radar these days, that if he died tomorrow, people wouldn't have the motivation to react either way? He's more of a 2001 cunt.

 

Last I heard of him, he was doing a late night phone in show on 5 live, must have been about 2 years ago though.

 

 

I actually like Russell Brand

 

I'm definitely putting a vote in for Adrian Chiles though, absolutely horrific human being who closely resembles an ulcer.

Richard Bacon's pretty big on Twitter for some reason, isn't he?

EDIT due to Hotmail moving things to my spam folder.

It's a shame we're limited to 10 - I've just listed 8 in mere seconds, with hardly even thinking about it! Hopefully Michael Mcintyre's going to be right up near the top of many peoples lists...

You're not limited to 10 if you don't want to be - make the list as long as you want! The more the better?

(the only thing being that numbers 11 to whatever will only get 1 point apiece, so it might not affect their overall ranking much if they're your number 17 or something. Then again, 1 point can make all the difference)

I was perusing Off Topic Gold recently, and discovered that the first Twatlist had been included there... I read through it, and thought it would be worth another go.

For those who don't recall it, the Twatlist was a parody of those ubiquitous Top 50 / Top 100 lists that could be found in magazines, on television and on this very forum at the time. Compiled in the summer of 2009. UKFFers sent me lists of their most reviled and loathed public figures. Their choices were ranked, and those ranks went into an overall tally to determine, in satirical Top 30 form, which famous person this forum hated the most (it was Jordan). Each entry in the 30 had an opportunity for those who had nominated that celebrity to spit their vitriol and vent their spleens about them. It was quite entertaining and, I like to think, therapeutic.

So why do it again?

Well, here's the final rankings from the first Twatlist:

30. Alex Turner (that twat from the Arctic Monkeys)

29. The Ting Tings

28. Johnny Vegas

27. Peter Kay

26. Jade Goody

25. Frankie Boyle

24. Cristiano Ronaldo

23. Jack Whitehall

22. Princess Diana

21. Gok Wan

20. P!nk

19. Pete Doherty

18. Jeremy Clarkson

17. Oasis / Liam Gallagher

16. Morrissey

15. Jonathan Ross

14. Lewis Hamilton

13. Jamie Oliver

12. Michael McIntyre

11. The Mighty Boosh / Noel Fielding

10. Chris Moyles

9. Danny Dyer

8. Davina McCall

7. Robbie Williams

6. Bono

5. Russell Brand

4. Justin Lee Collins

3. Kerry Katona

2. Alan Carr

1. Katie 'Jordan' Price

As you can see, the zeitgeist has changed since then. Who the fuck still remembers the Ting Tings in 2011? There's a new coalition government ... James Cameron is back in the public eye, Justin Lee Collins, not so much ... Justin Bieber hadn't even been born when we first did this list. James Corden didn't make the list. James Fucking Corden. So let's try it again.

This is what you do:

- Pick your list of Top Twats - up to ten of your most disliked celebrities - put them in order, and send them to me. Either e-mail jimbobfredericksson@hotmail.com, or PM me.

- Make sure you include reasons for your selections in your e-mail/PM . If you do, I'll use your rants and diatribes in the final write-ups, and everyone will know how hate-filled you are deep down. You are, of course, free not to include reasons, but what's the fun in that? The longer and swearier, the better. I want to know why you hate these people. Be eloquent, be obscene. Read the original thread if you want to get an idea.

- Please submit your votes by midnight on Sunday 13th March. (That gives you two weeks at time of me posting this thread. That's loads of time). The list will start to count down soon after that. Remember to include your UKFF username so I know who to credit in the write-ups!

- In the meantime, please please please use this thread to persuade others who to vote for. Why should Lady Gaga or John Bishop be despised by everyone, and not just you? Tell the forum, and by extension the world!

- The person in 1st place (your Top Twat) receives 10 'Tosserpoints' to go towards their final total. 2nd place gets 9 Tosserpoints, 3rd gets 8, and so on down to 10th place which will receive 1. If you want to nominate more than 10 people, please do - everyone from 11th downwards on your list will get 1 point. This means your Number 1 will have a much better chance of a high placing - so put your choices in order if you can.

- You can nominate any public figure, past or present. Actors, musicians, sportspeople, politicians, artists, royalty; A-list, D-list or Z-list; well-known or obscure; individuals or groups (the collective cast of a TV show, or an entire band, for instance); living or dead. Go current if you want and pick Col. Gaddafi or Ashley Cole, or reopen old wounds and nominate the same people you went for last time (if you're one of those wonderful people who voted).

- It's okay if you can't remember their name - if you say "that bint off Live From Studio Five" I'll know who you mean. "That bloke down the road that nuts grannies", however, is a bit too obscure. As this is a wrestling forum I understand the temptation to fill your list with wrestling personalities will be high, but it'll turn out really boring if that's all anyone nominates. Please try and limit things to one or two wrestlers per list. The same goes for footballers - please resist the urge to nominate 11 footballers just because they play for a team you don't like. That, too, is really boring. No members of this forum will be counted if you vote for them, so the likes of Staniforth etc will be excused from the list. Also, if anybody happens to vote for Surf Graffiti I'll discard those because I don't want the police visiting me.

- If you want to use this thread in the time between now and when voting closes to canvas for certain Twats you think deserve to be pilloried, please go ahead.

- I'll be hoping for enough nominations to do a decent Top 20 or 30. Naturally if there aren't enough nominations the thread will be declared void and I'll be very sad.

- So, to recap, please send your Top Twats, with reasons please, to jimbobfredericksson@hotmail.com, or by PM, or in this thread if you want to, by midnight on Sunday 13th March.

So ... that Corden/Matt Cardle/Katy Brand/Dappy out of N-Dubz/whoever's a bit of a nob, aren't they?

Not to distract from the discussion or anything, but I was wondering - what's pCc? Been cropping up all over the place of late, so either I'm out of the loop or I need to stop skim-reading threads. Finding out what it stands for would be a good start?

I just thought that maybe a fourth video may be shown at Elimination Chamber, something mouthwatering to lead into Raw.

Mouthwatering?

Like, water coming from the mouth?

LIKE TRIPLE H DOES IN HIS ENTRANCE?

WHAT DO YOU KNOW?

I haven't bought an issue of FSM since summer 2008 - a combination of diminishing interest in wrestling, and boredom with its endless and nonsensical 'What If' articles that inevitably ended with an ROH wrestler beating Triple H at WrestleMania, and irritation with Alex Shane's persistence in trying to convince me I'm being mind-controlled by the McDonalds logo - but I'm going to pop out to WH Smith now and pick up a copy. Second chances and all that.

Did you enjoy the issue?

 

I did, a definite improvement over the last few times I've bought it. It felt a lot more like the very early issues (which I enjoyed very much despite all the typos). Things like the proportion of wrestling-BritWres-MMA coverage were well-balanced - just enough MMA for a casual fan like me to want to read.

 

I had some initial reservations when I spotted Luke Dormehl's name on a couple of articles. This goes back to a feature he wrote several years ago, which contained a couple of paragraphs of savage Undertaker-bashing along the lines of "he buries everyone, he can't work, he is the worst thing ever to happen to anything", which seemed a little incongruous considering the article had nothing to do with Undertaker ... I wrote an email in, feeling compelled to defend the poor Dead Man, which received a fantastically snarky response in the letters page from Mr. Dormehl essentially saying "you're an idiot, he's awful, he wouldn't let Mike Awesome beat him". I assumed that was the end of it, until he wrote an article on (I think) HHH a few issues later, which was also along the lines of "he buries everyone, he can't work, he is the worst thing ever to happen to anything", and felt the need to have a go at me in the opening paragraph! I hope I'm not wrong in thinking that's a pretty unprofessional thing to do, and it put me off reading anything more of his. It's possibly the old editor that's more to blame for not cutting it out of the final article, but still...

 

Anyway, the point of all that was that the Dormehl articles in this issue were much more objective and better written than previously, and he didn't have a go at any readers in them, so that's an improvement as well.

 

Content wise, everything was fine - the NJPW article was very good, and the Jarrett interview was interesting - but a couple of bits (the pieces on CM Punk and John Morrison) didn't seem to really go anywhere. Both pieces basically consisted of "he did this, then he did that, which wasn't great, but now he's doing this and that's better". They didn't really reach any conclusion or have much point to them.

 

I'd also have a look at a columnist reshuffle. Lance Storm's was very good, but I can't think there are many people that are bothered about RD Reynolds anymore. I can remember what Storm's and Apter's columns were about this month, but I've got no recollection of what Reynolds was talking about.

 

So, yeah. A definite improvement from the last time I read it, and naturally there's still work to be done (like that 'KAVAL LEAVES WWE' news piece that I don't think actually mentioned Kaval outside of its title?), but I'd be quite happy to start picking it up regularly again.

 

Feedback~!

I'm glad to read that you enjoyed the issue.

 

I haven't read the Luke Dormehl article where he felt compelled to bash The Undertaker, nor the reply that you were given to your letter, but to be snarky in that manner would be out of character for Luke, who is a very talented writer indeed. Perhaps the difference is just that I have made my standards for FSM very clear, and that kind of writing would not find that criteria.

 

I'll take on board your thoughts on the columnists. I'm continuing to seek out the best journalists for FSM - hopefully, a new face or two will appear in Issue 65 - in order to showcase my belief that we offer the best overall wrestling magazine product on the shelves.

Thanks for the response. It's encouraging to see an editor taking an active interest in what part of the readership thinks - I know the UKFF's only a small section of the target audience, but it's an accessible place to get a range of responses from.

Full marks for following up my post from the end of January and actually wanting to know what I thought, too.

I haven't bought an issue of FSM since summer 2008 - a combination of diminishing interest in wrestling, and boredom with its endless and nonsensical 'What If' articles that inevitably ended with an ROH wrestler beating Triple H at WrestleMania, and irritation with Alex Shane's persistence in trying to convince me I'm being mind-controlled by the McDonalds logo - but I'm going to pop out to WH Smith now and pick up a copy. Second chances and all that.

Did you enjoy the issue?

I did, a definite improvement over the last few times I've bought it. It felt a lot more like the very early issues (which I enjoyed very much despite all the typos). Things like the proportion of wrestling-BritWres-MMA coverage were well-balanced - just enough MMA for a casual fan like me to want to read.

I had some initial reservations when I spotted Luke Dormehl's name on a couple of articles. This goes back to a feature he wrote several years ago, which contained a couple of paragraphs of savage Undertaker-bashing along the lines of "he buries everyone, he can't work, he is the worst thing ever to happen to anything", which seemed a little incongruous considering the article had nothing to do with Undertaker ... I wrote an email in, feeling compelled to defend the poor Dead Man, which received a fantastically snarky response in the letters page from Mr. Dormehl essentially saying "you're an idiot, he's awful, he wouldn't let Mike Awesome beat him". I assumed that was the end of it, until he wrote an article on (I think) HHH a few issues later, which was also along the lines of "he buries everyone, he can't work, he is the worst thing ever to happen to anything", and felt the need to have a go at me in the opening paragraph! I hope I'm not wrong in thinking that's a pretty unprofessional thing to do, and it put me off reading anything more of his. It's possibly the old editor that's more to blame for not cutting it out of the final article, but still...

Anyway, the point of all that was that the Dormehl articles in this issue were much more objective and better written than previously, and he didn't have a go at any readers in them, so that's an improvement as well.

Content wise, everything was fine - the NJPW article was very good, and the Jarrett interview was interesting - but a couple of bits (the pieces on CM Punk and John Morrison) didn't seem to really go anywhere. Both pieces basically consisted of "he did this, then he did that, which wasn't great, but now he's doing this and that's better". They didn't really reach any conclusion or have much point to them.

I'd also have a look at a columnist reshuffle. Lance Storm's was very good, but I can't think there are many people that are bothered about RD Reynolds anymore. I can remember what Storm's and Apter's columns were about this month, but I've got no recollection of what Reynolds was talking about.

So, yeah. A definite improvement from the last time I read it, and naturally there's still work to be done (like that 'KAVAL LEAVES WWE' news piece that I don't think actually mentioned Kaval outside of its title?), but I'd be quite happy to start picking it up regularly again.

Feedback~!

Has anybody thought about Sheamus as a potential Undertaker opponent at WrestleMania? It's a possibility ... and it could be half decent.

It would explain the RAW/SmackDown discrepancy with Taker returning to the former and Barrett being on the latter, and would free Barrett up for a Corre-Nexus 4-on-4 thingy. It doesn't look like the Triple H return is happening anytime soon, and I'm not sure if two HHH-Sheamus Mania matches in a row would be a route they'd go down, so it'd give Sheamus something to do - other than a Triple H match, I can't think of anywhere other than MITB where he might fit on the card, and that'd be a bit of a step down for him - and it'd be reasonably uncomplicated to build him up as a legit threat in the weeks leading up to the show. He could even attack Undertaker on the 21st, ruin his return, and challenge him then. Play up the 'is Taker healthy' aspect, have him do the mindgames thing, and so on.

Hell, you could even have Triple H come in at Mania and take Sheamus out, giving him a big "he's back! At WrestleMania!" moment and setting up his return feud ...

Thinking about it, I wouldn't mind seeing Taker vs. Sheamus at WM at all.

... Just me, then?

Saw the video again watching NXT this morning. It's totally Undertaker, as far as I can see... whoever they filmed even walks like Taker.

Just a still and an article rather than a poster or trailer, but THEY'RE MAKING A FILM OF 'ON THE ROAD'.

The book is one of my favourites, and I never imagined it was something that could be a film, but... Hedlund and Riley look pretty much right as Dean and Sal ... and The Motorcycle Diaries was good, so ... there's a decent chance this has the capacity to be good. I could definitely dig it...

the house looks like something outta 'LOST' and if it is we're all fucked!!!

It's Jacob! .... Novak, making his triumphant debut after being unjustly eliminated from NXT.

Clearly.

I haven't bought an issue of FSM since summer 2008 - a combination of diminishing interest in wrestling, and boredom with its endless and nonsensical 'What If' articles that inevitably ended with an ROH wrestler beating Triple H at WrestleMania, and irritation with Alex Shane's persistence in trying to convince me I'm being mind-controlled by the McDonalds logo - but I'm going to pop out to WH Smith now and pick up a copy. Second chances and all that.

Went for Big Benny HG. A truly historic moment, unlikely ever to be repeated.

Anyway all you have to do is fuck off sulking and you don't get the shit award anyway.

 

Who did that last year? I always forget and yeah if ThePhenom is dillkid why hasn't he been banned?

Might have been Daniel Fitch last year? Seem to remember him leaving around this time of year.

Finally completely up to date with the Temeraire series by Naomi Novik after giving in to temptation and buying the hardback of the latest book. (I've got the first five in paperback, and for the sake of shelf conformity I wanted them all to look the same... but I wanted to find out what happened next more). Have I plugged the series in here before? It's seriously awesome. She basically retells the Napoleonic Wars, but if dragons existed. You'll hear the premise, and either go "oooh... that sounds intriguing, I'll have a go" or think "Shit. Shiiiiit." I thought the former, tried out the first book, and loved it. I then proceeded to devour every subsequent book. The way she interweaves real history with, well, dragons is very clever, as is the way she makes you accept the whole dragon thing as something completely ordinary rather than a big crazy fantasy thing. It's the real world, dragons just happen to exist, and you forget you're reading a fantasy novel. The stories are also really good, which is quite important.

Next book will probably be Never Let Me Go by Kazuo Ishiguro, which I bought on a Kindle ... taking the leap into the future ...

The episode of NXT3 that featured CM Punk on commentary.

Shatner.

To be honest, it was pretty stupid to have nominations for this, I might aswell have just done a poll. What do people think about NXT, should it be one option or one for each "season"?

I would say one option, because it's had the same name and format throughout, and it's not like there's been a break between seasons. It's the same show in season 4, essentially, that it was in season 1.

But then again, a lot of people are nominating individual seasons, so what do I know...

This thread inspired me to put Rock Radio on at home, and it has rewarded with me with 'God Gave Rock N' Roll To You', 'Any Way You Want It', 'While My Guitar Gently Weeps' and 'Money For Nothing'. I'm sorted for the rest of 2010 now. Thanks, this thread!