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Advice?


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Just now, johnnyboy said:

Just a regular snap from the olden days when you'd get photos developed laying about.  Not a Snapfish canvas printed from a iPhone up on the wall.

So she did have a picture of herself with her boobs out in her room. 

That's...weird. But maybe she has nice boobs and wants to see a picture of them every day. 

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23 minutes ago, johnnyboy said:

That's not so great then.  Would they have a problem if you were looking at their emails or private messages?

I suppose then there's the question about if that's learned behaviour from family life and it's just a different perspective or if that's due to a trust issue from family, prior relationship, or something that's happened between the two of you.

One thing I will say is that there's never going to be one size fits all.  Some couples go so far that they have joint emails and social media etc.  Personally, I find that creepy as fuck but it might work for them.

A way of approaching it though may be to talk about you rather than about her.  Instead of "you shouldn't look at my emails" - "I need to have my privacy respected".  Explain how you see it and ask them how or why they see it differently.  If you've got nothing to hide is weak sauce, but people sometimes don't want to face down their insecurities.

Constructively arguing is really tricky and it can be easy to get backs up really quickly.

https://www.healthista.com/9-golden-rules-of-fighting-clean/

Big fan of Andrew Marshall's stuff and have recommended his books to people in the past (maybe not on here though).

She’s quite an insecure person if I’m brutally honest. Always asking if we are ok and such like.

The subject of me looking at her personal emails and messages etc has never come up. My attitude towards that is that somethings are private and if you have something to hide it all comes out in the end.

Theres an age gap of 12 years, which may be part of the differing attitudes towards it.

Completely agree on couples having joint social media though. Creepy as fuck.

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