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The moment when you accepted defeat


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My dad joked with me at my brother's 30th about how the entire family was going on a holiday but that they hadn't extended the invitation to us because they knew we'd say no. We're really not the sort to sit around on sun loungers at poolside, so this was an entirely reasonable conclusion. Nonetheless, I thought I'd quite enjoy seeing the younger members of the family having fun on what would be for most of them their first trip abroad, so I signed up too, bringing the total to 19.

About three weeks out from the event, I began feeling rather apprehensive at the fact that I'd be topless around people and at risk of getting harpooned if any Japanese or Norwegians were in the area. So I did what made sense to me and got a gym membership. After all, everybody knows that the best way to make five stone disappear is to half-heartedly push something or wave your arms about for twenty minutes or so every now and again.

To no surprise, it didn't work and I arrived on one of the Canary islands a big gelatinous blob ... and it turned out that I was one of the thinner people there! Everybody else was a curious red colour too, as were half my family when I saw them for breakfast on the second morning. (That'll be why the Spanish call us shrimp, then.)

I've had my gym membership since then. That was exactly two years ago and I haven't been once. Every time I saw the monthly fee coming out of my account, I felt rancorous, particularly in those months when I've been within a few quid of hitting my overdraft. But I never did cancel it, imagining I'd feel disgusted with myself at having to acknowledge that I'm too lazy to go to the gym even once. And so for two years those payments have kept coming out.

Until this evening. I headed to the gym (driving naturally) and put a stop to it, cancelling my standing order when I got back home. I've accepted defeat. I'm too lazy to go to the gym even once in two years. I thought I'd feel terrible at having to accept the realisation but, nah, I don't care. I think more than anything else I'm feeling quite happy knowing that I'm not going to be throwing away a few hundred quid every year on something that I don't use.

What about you? Any non-wrestling-related stories of when you just tapped out?

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Sorry to hear that Ronnie.  As you discovered, going to "the gym" isn't really a very effective way of losing weight unless you discover you love pumping iron.

Perhaps now you're released from that burden, you could try a different approach to getting into Steiner shape?

I know a few people who've had success with Couch To 5k :


It's basically a program and I think set of podcasts that trains you to run 5k starting from the position of being completely out of shape.  At that point you can start partaking in your local Park Run:


That's a great thing as you get buoyed along by everyone else, and of course it's free!

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3 hours ago, Scott Malbranque said:

You really don't know what admitting defeat is until you try pulling the stomach out of yourself at 6 or 7am after a rave. You'll admit defeat. And then you won't. And then you will.

Had this happen the past two black eye Fridays on my now annual visit to a club.   My jaw hasn't recovered by the time I've had my Christmas dinner and I don't know how I managed to go out every couple of weeks for a good five or six years and do it.  Raving over 30 is no good for the soul. 

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5 hours ago, Loki said:

Perhaps now you're released from that burden, you could try a different approach

That family holiday was two years ago now and I didn't get harpooned, so I can stick with being wider than I am tall without having to contemplate anything awful like exercise.

(Actually, my BionicGym should be arriving this week. Perfect for a lazy man.)

5 hours ago, Loki said:

Steiner shape?

cat realisation GIF

That's what's missing! My old Steiner profile pic! Thanks for the prompting; I've tracked it down again :)

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