A Mania match a day

[Southside crew]

I am completely aware I am not, nor at any point have I been, watching these matches at the rate of one a day. It's just not going to work out like that. I'll watch a few a day when I can, and none a day when I can't. If I can get to WrestleMania 30 by the 29th of March (actually the 28th because I know I'll be busy on the Sunday) then that's the objective achieved. And it's not like anyone's reading these anyway!

 

 

 

Anyway, time for WrestleMania VII, and for this one I'm spoiled for choice a little bit. Bulldog vs. Warlord, Rockers vs. Haku and Barbarian, Boss Man vs. Mr Perfect, DiBiase vs. Virgil maybe, or the first match of the Streak? I'd be happy watching any of those, but I'm going with the bona fide classic of Ultimate Warrior vs. Randy Savage.

 

(I don't know whether it worked out in execution, but on paper WM7 has a great-looking card.)

 

 

The match

 

I'm going to start watching from the pre-match video showing the build-up. Savage attacked Warrior on Saturday Night's Main Event, so at Royal Rumble, Queen Sherri (she was great, wasn't she?) distracted him during the Sgt Slaughter match. Savage then DESTROYS Warrior by the entrance way - that was Attitude-esque, actually - and then clatters him with the Macho King Sceptre later in the match, making Slaughter the new Champion.

 

Monsoon bills the match as a Career Ending Match, and the camera lingers on Heenan, who has spotted Elizabeth at ringside. Heenan's expression is great here. Elizabeth looks worried.

 

Macho King is wearing a tremendous blue and white outfit. He looks an absolute star, and just like with the Mega Powers match, this already feels like a HUGE occasion. Warrior's music then hits and he's got an outfit on that I would have absolutely loved to have coloured in in the Ultimate Warrior colouring book I had when I was little. So many colours. Heenan points out that Warrior hasn't run to the ring - very unusual, but this is just another aspect of the magnitude the match has. He's taking it seriously. These are two of the biggest stars in the company, and one of them's going to have to retire - this is MASSIVE. The closest recent equivalent I can think to compare it to is Michaels vs. Undertaker at 26.

 

"This could be Warrior's greatest moment… or his final one". I've been waiting seven WrestleManias to get to Heenan and Monsoon on commentary and they are not disappointing.

 

They lock up, and it's already very intense, there's some force behind it as Warrior shoves Savage away. I'd have been on Warrior's side, but watching now, I wouldn't want either one to lose. The next Cena vs. Orton should have a retirement stipulation, they haven't done that one yet.

 

Warrior's absolutely in control in the early going - Sherri gets in the ring to try and distract him, but Savage gets dropped into her, she bumps out of the ring again, and I've just realised that all three of the people involved in this match - four, if you count Elizabeth - are dead.

 

God, that's really sad.

 

 

 

 

 

Sorry. Anyway, Savage went for the axe handle but Warrior caught him, Savage goes to the outside and throws a chair in. As the referee gets rid of the chair, Macho blindsides Warrior. Clever. Doesn't last long though, this is all Warrior. The 'heel in peril' is a really difficult role to pull off, I don't think many did it as well as Savage could. Macho gets the advantage again, and Warrior rolls to the outside. We get a gratuitous shot of Sherri's bum, she slaps Warrior (or pokes him in the throat, I'm not sure which) and Savage attacks from behind. Sherri goes for Warrior again, and he shoves her over. Savage attacks from behind, Sherri's up again, she gives Warrior a kick, and we're back in the ring where Savage is now in control. This is very reminiscent of Attitude and later - especially as Savage just spat in Warrior's face as well.

 

I think there was a discussion on here recently about how it seemed in '91 that they were trying for something more risqué, and I can certainly see elements of that in here. Aside from all that, though, it's a great match - both men look great, and Sherri adds so much to the dynamic.

 

Warrior fights out of a sleeper, they do a beautiful criss-cross-into-double-clothesline move and they're both down. Sherri distracts the referee with a snog as Warrior rolls Savage up - he had that won! Oh no, ref bump. That's another late '90s trademark, but if I'm honest, I prefer it in this early '90s environment. It works better with a crowd invested in the wrestlers rather than where the next twist/run-in/turn/chairshot is coming from.

 

(Not to say late '90s crowds weren't into the characters, but you usually knew that one ref bump meant shenanigans aplenty were coming.)

 

Savage has the advantage again now and he hits the elbow. Beautifully done. Warrior is OUT, but Savage is going up for a second one. And up again! He's making absolutely sure he's won here. THREE elbows! AGAIN?! Three was probably enough Randy… four! And he's going AGAIN! Five! 1… 2… HE KICKED OUT! HE KICKED OUT! WARRIOR FUCKING KICKED OUT OF FIVE FINISHERS AT ONCE! Bloody hell. You have to think at that point there was no way anyone could believe Savage would be winning this. (and can you imagine how dem wans would have reacted to that kickout?) Warrior hits a few clotheslines, press slam ("it's all over but the shouting", says Monsoon), splash… and SAVAGE KICKED OUT! I thought that was it.

 

Warrior's looking up to the gods now, and it's all gone a bit weird. Warrior's walking out, but he's taking an age on the apron, and Savage clocks him. Rightly so, as well. I love Warrior, but he probably should have just splashed Savage again and won the match. Warrior's been placed on the barricade, and Savage comes off the top with an axe handle, but misses, hitting the metal railings. Now Warrior takes advantage. HUGE shoulder tackle, and another, and another. One-footed pin… and Warrior's won it.

 

Although now I think about it, Savage stuck around the WWF longer than Warrior did despite having lost the match, is that right? 

 

Savage is out as Warrior celebrates with his swanky jacket. I wonder what happened to that jacket, it's the sort of thing you'd have as a star attraction if WWE ever opened a museum or a physical Hall of Fame. Can you imagine how cool a Costume Gallery in a WWE museum would be? Warrior jackets, Savage ensembles, Jeff Jarrett stuff, Bossman's uniform, Ric Flair robes, Austin jackets, Undertaker costumes, Kane's original outfit, hold that thought, Sherri's attacking Savage AND ELIZABETH IS RUNNING TO THE RING AND SHE'S CHUCKED SHERRI OUT AND SHE'S GOING OVER TO SAVAGE!!!!! GO ON LIZ! SAVAGE, GET UP! GET UP!

 

HE SEES HER! Heenan cries that everyone in the arena is standing - the announcers are putting this over huge, I can't help but feel that any modern commentary team would absolutely ruin a moment like this. Even when Heenan's putting it down, it only serves to make the moment bigger and more important. Which sounds weird, but you know it wouldn't work that way if it was JBL or Michael Cole. Savage looks at Sherri, looks at Liz, looks at the crowd… THEY'RE HUGGING! THEY'RE HUGGING! THEY'RE BACK TOGETHER! Savage's music is playing, the crowd are cheering their hearts out, what a fucking incredible moment. Savage lifts her onto his shoulder.

 

Heenan: "This is better than Love Story, if you like that kind of mush"

Monsoon: "I love it!"

 

Audience shots of people crying (two Heenan belters for these: "maybe her shoes are too tight", and "must have had a chilli dog with onions"). Liz holds the ropes open for Savage, but he says no… he holds the ropes open for her, and the ovation is MASSIVE. He poses on each turnbuckle… "he lost the match, but he got something much more valuable" says Monsoon. "I'd rather have the match" says Heenan. Savage doesn't seem to mind. 'Scuse me, I have something in my eye...

 

My thoughts

 

What a match. And what a glorious moment afterwards. Bloody brilliant all round. That is all.

 

 

Really enjoyed reading this , still one of my favourite ever matches in WWF / WWE - match and story were simply amazing

 

Truthfully I owe a lot of my falling in love with Wrestling to this match !

[Southside crew]

I know this is such a stereotypical "everything was better in the olden days, modern wrestling is shit" remark, but can you imagine if, even ten years after WrestleMania X, they had a guy as popular as Razor, which such obvious merch-shifting potential, and so reliable at having consistently good matches, and him NOT getting a run with (one of) the World title(s)? Never mind today. Of course, with only one belt to aim for we might be edging away with the "everyone gets a turn if they're good enough" days, but still. I'm not sure whether this makes me sad that Razor never got his turn, or just happy that there at least was a time that you could have a guy as talented as him as "king of the midcard" i.e. the middle of the card having true superstars, and the top spots being so scared.

 

So true , Ted Dibiase , Razor Ramon , British Bulldog , Steamboat to name a few .

[PunkStep]

I have the telly to myself tonight, do after watching Better Call Saul I'll watch a few from Mania 6 onwards. My match a day fell apart ages ago...

[air_raid]

I have the telly to myself tonight, do after watching Better Call Saul I'll watch a few from Mania 6 onwards. My match a day fell apart ages ago...

 

Kill a few in one go. Watch Harts/Bolsheviks, Tito/Mountie, Owen/Skinner, Yoko/Hogan and Earthquake/Bomb. You jump straight from 5 to 11 and your Pot Noodle won't even be cold by the end.

[HarmonicGenerator]

PunkStep! I took out your reviews from the first post because I thought you'd given up! I'll reinstate them when you've done a few more. 

 

 

In the meantime, I'm going back to where it all began again, WrestleMania XX. And I'll begin where it all began again at the beginning, with its opening match: John Cena vs. Big Show.

 

I was very, very tempted by Christian vs. Chris Jericho for this one. But the urge to see Cena before that section of the crowd turned on him has won me over. (Interesting to note, the people cheering Cena and booing Lesnar in 2004 were probably the very same ones cheering Lesnar and booing Cena in 2014. Okay, that's ten years' difference so it's not that interesting)

 

The match

 

Was Big Show heel or face in this WrestleMania? I'm about to find out. That'd be an interesting graph actually, tracking Big Show and Kane's WrestleManias by whether they were heel or face.

 

I am really misusing the word 'interesting' tonight.

 

Cena's out first though. Despite the arena setting rather than the stadium one, the set for this event makes it feel like a proper WrestleMania. Michael Cole and Tazz are on commentary, I hope they're better than last year.

 

Cena looks a right twat! What was he thinking?! He gets a massive 'Cena! Cena!' chant though. He's doing a rap.

 

While Big Show wanders out, here are the rhymes Cena used in his rap. The rap was bad. Dreadful, actually. But people are cheering him so I think Big Show's heel tonight.

 

John Cena's rhymes

 

Stage with cage

rip-off with tip-off

thumbs with plums (he was talking about Big Show's balls)

'you can't see me' with 'penis with an STD' (yes, really)

charade with parade

knucks with sucks.

 

In honour of John Cena's rapping prowess, I shall review this match in rhyme.

 

Big Show is tall, taller than Cena

In this match-up we'll see who is meaner

They start off the match by having a stare

Later in the show there's a match with Ric Flair

 

It's John's Mania debut as Show gives him a shove

But he's got support, it's him the fans love

He takes it to Show but gets chucked from the ring

He landed quite hard, that would probably sting

 

A knee to the gut and John Cena is down

Show's definitely heel, he's got a right frown

But Cena fights back! And the crowd roars approval

Big Show has yet to have his hair removal

 

"Let's go Cena", the crowd chants at once

As Cena hits punches towards Big Show's bonce

The Show's dominating the Doctor of Thugs

A huge body slam, Big Show's sweating like Suggs

 

He's United States Champ, the challenger's Cena

But right now Big Show's taking him to the cleaner

Show hits a suplex! That was impressive

He then hits a headbutt that'd turn you depressive

 

Someone's got an airhorn, I thought they were banned

Both Show's feet on Cena, he decided to stand

On his back for a second to cause Cena pain

But Cena fights back! Again and again!

 

A whacking great kick sends the challenger flying

Show must've took umbrage at what the rap was implying

The ham hock leg drop and Show gets a two

If you want to pin Cena, there's more you must do

 

The crowd's behind Cena as he struggles to climb

Right up Big Show's back, locking on 'sleepy time'

But the hold didn't work, Show thwacks out his arm

Hits a clothesline, then a Cobra Clutch, he's quite calm

 

Big Show is good here, I forgot I'm a fan

And even here Cena shows why he's the man

He's bloody good even in 2004

As he makes one more comeback with blows to the jaw

 

The champion's struggling, John's got a chance

He's stalking Big Show here at the big dance

Show's on his shoulders! He hits an FU!

He goes for the pin but HE JUST GETS A TWO!

 

Cole tells us it's the first time that move's been kicked out of

So he picks up his chain to give Big Show a clout of

Hard aluminium right between the eyes

But Korderas is arguing! Cena defies

 

The referee, picking up some other item

If you can't beat 'em fairly, by cheating you fight 'em

Another FU and he gets the three count

He gets both the belt and the turnbuckle mount

 

As he clutches his title and celebrates winning

Big Show's still sweaty, just lying there minging

We've got a new champ and the fans are delighted

Cena's hugging his title, grinning like he's been knighted

 

He's genuinely chuffed, it's a great thing to see

And so ends my match pick from WM 20.

 

 

My thoughts

 

First of all, I don't know if Suggs traditionally gets sweaty. I was rhyming off the top of my head as the match was going, I had no time to think.

 

Decent little opener - nothing special but a good standard to pop the fans and keep momentum going for the rest of the show. As I mentioned, I liked Big Show back then and he was good here. Cena was good too - I think he always was, actually, and he's got all the makings of the top star to be. His post-match celebration was great in all the ways his pre-match rap wasn't. I wasn't wholly keen on him having to cheat to win (that wouldn't happen now) but this was kind of the era of 'use an item to clock your opponent while the ref's not looking, then get the win', with Eddie Guerrero doing it at that time too, and Regal having just finished the Power of the Punch run, so for the time the ending worked fine.

 

Definitely feels like Attitude is over and we're moving into the modern era...

 

Finally, has anyone else had problems with this show on the Network? Every minute or so it would skip back to the same moment in 'America the Beautiful' and the stream would crash back to the menu page. 'Resume watching' took me back to where I'd left off, but that was very annoying.

[PunkStep]

Kill a few in one go. Watch Harts/Bolsheviks, Tito/Mountie, Owen/Skinner, Yoko/Hogan and Earthquake/Bomb. You jump straight from 5 to 11 and your Pot Noodle won't even be cold by the end.

 

 

Great idea, I might just do that. I'd like to re-watch Owen/Skinner especially.

 

 

PunkStep! I took out your reviews from the first post because I thought you'd given up! I'll reinstate them when you've done a few more. 

No worries, I thought it'd be easy to keep up after I did the first 5 in one night. But the next night, I thought 'fuck that'. Can only take so much wrestling these days...

[HarmonicGenerator]

My assignment that I had to do is finished! Which means I can power on to WrestleMania Goes Hollywood, and watch Batista vs. Triple H.

 

I've picked this because the last Mania in the project that I chose the main event for was WrestleMania 8, so it's probably about time to have another one. So here we go, ten years into the past. I wonder if Roman Reigns will emulate Dave this year...

 

The match:

 

Oh, we're in an arena again. I'm quite surprised by that, I don't know why, I'd just expected all the 20s Manias to be in stadiums.

 

I'm going to watch the build-up video first. It's absolutely fantastic. What a story leading up to this match, Batista, Triple H and Ric Flair are all phenomenal here. The looks, the words, the thumbs down, the face off, the powerbombs. This is how you build the main event of WrestleMania.

 

And here's Motorhead! I'd like to think they dictated what volume they would play at and nobody in the arena could hear anything for the rest of the night due to their ears ringing.

 

AH! BRILLIANT! Triple H just ROSE UP LIKE A GOD FROM A TRAPDOOR IN THE STAGE. Beautiful. Fucking hell, this just feels big time. Much as I like Lesnar and Reigns, this year's show just doesn't have that feel about it. To be honest, only Rock vs. Cena's come close in the last ten years (I'm not counting Taker-Michaels II because I didn't expect it to be the main event at 26).

 

This is for the World Heavyweight title, needless to say. I am struggling to get the Max Landis 'Wrestling Isn't Wrestling' video out of my head as I watch Triple H pose with the big gold belt. Here it is, if for some ridiculous reason you've not watched it yet:

 

 

Superb.

 

Back to the match, anyway. Batista gets a massive pop, as he walks alone into the pit of danger. Except sadly he doesn't have the song about walking alone into the pit of danger yet . He does the boom boom boom boom pyro pyro pyro thing but there's no pyro to go with it either . He looks great though.

 

The odds are stacked against him, Triple H has Ric Flair and Lemmy on his side. It's weird to think that ten years on, Batista's both a Marvel superhero and a Bond villain.

 

Mike Chioda has the WrestleMania logo ON THE BACK OF HIS SHIRT. Nice touch. JR points out Triple H is already a 10-time Champion by this point. (We've got JR and King on commentary today). I always liked Flair as Triple H's manager.

 

The bell rings and the volume from the crowd is LOUD. They've had a bit of a face off, talking at each other, and a bit of a pace around the ring. They're in no rush, no wait, they are, lock up, and a bloody terrific lock-up, Triple H's legs shaking as he tries to overpower Batista. They break it off at a stalemate and go at it again. This match is so huge a fucking LOCK-UP feels important.

 

Max Landis is absolutely on the money, you know. Everything he says about Triple H's character in that video...

 

… have you watched it yet? You really should watch it, you know...

 

 

… is apparent in his facial expressions as Batista overpowers him for the first time. And again as he takes Dave down for the first time. Landis is absolutely right.

 

Pedigree! No, failed, and Batista breaks out of it with a press slam and shows off his muscles. They exchange some strikes, and Batista hits a big big back body drop. They're taking this slow. After the pace of some of the matches I've watched recently (plus the fact I had NXT on earlier) this really does seem slow, but it's totally appropriate for this kind of match.

 

Batista got knocked outside the ring, Flair distracted him and Triple H used it to his advantage. Booing. You know, if Batista was Ultimate Warrior he'd have this won by now. Chioda stops Triple H choking Batista and while his back's turned, Flair chokes Dave with his jacket. Batista's in trouble, but he doesn't look weak from it in the slightest. Triple H and Flair have had to resort to underhanded tactics like choking, distraction and so on to get the upper hand. It's perfectly clear that if things were even, Batista (who's being chanted for majorly at this point) would be a clear winner. It's a great story.

 

Suplex, a couple of knees to the back, a backbreaker, I think I know what body part Triple H is targeting here. Take out the back and you take out the power and FLAIR'S CHOKING BATISTA AGAIN THIS IS NOT FAIR. Dave attempts a comeback but it lasts about five seconds. JR points out that Triple H is dictating the pace - so again, the slowness of the match works. Triple H is being methodical, wearing down Batista bit by bit, because if they were going high-speed high-impact, Batista would have the advantage.

 

Batista mounting a proper comeback now, the crowd starts rallying, SPINEBUSTER by Triple H, kick out. Another pin, kick out. Another pin, kick out. Lawler suspects Triple H is getting frustrated. As we get a close-up of his face, it becomes very clear that this, like his Undertaker matches at 27 and 28, is more about the characters than anything they're actually doing in the ring. It's about the people. Storytelling, just like 'Wrestling Isn't Wrestling' explains.

 

 

Triple H went to the top rope, which was silly, because Batista clotheslined him out of the air, and is back in it with a sidewalk slam. Nope, cut off again via a foot to the face. But not for long! A Batista irish whip sends Triple H flying over the ropes. But not for long! Because once outside, it's Batista who gets thrown into the steps, and he's got confetti all over him which I presume is from Cena's title win earlier in the show.

 

Batista catapults Triple H into the ring post! He deadlifted him a bit there and went all veiny. And Triple H is BUSTED OPEN. This is weird, it has been a long time since I watched a match where someone wore the crimson mask. I don't think it's happened in any of the matches I've watched for this project. He's bleeding heavily. I can't decide whether it's cool or whether we could do without it, really. I'm surprising myself by veering more towards the latter. Cool visual or not, I don't know if it's entirely necessary for the story they're telling. It'd maybe work a little better if Batista was the one bleeding, and Triple H took advantage of it only for a bloody Batista to make the comeback.

 

WHOOF! Huge clothesline into the corner by Batista, Triple H is in peril here. Powerslam, kick out. Batista lays out Flair, but the distraction allows Triple H to grab a chair FLYING CHIODA FLYING CHIODA FLYING CHIODA! Flying Mike Chioda leaps from the apron, snatching the chair from Triple H's hands! That was the maddest ref bump I've ever seen!

 

Watch this match just to see Flying Mike.

 

Triple H smacks Dave with the belt, but a briefly revived Chioda only gets to 2, because Dave kicked out. Spinebuster by Batista, he's going for the Batista Bomb, low blow… BOOOO. He tries to Pedigree and Batista uses his power to counter it by separating Triple H's hands. Triple H is in disbelief, that was a great counter. SHAKY ROPES SHAKY ROPES SHAKY ROPES, THUUUUUMBS DOOOOOWN. MASSIVE BATISTA BOMB IN THE MIDDLE OF THE RING. 1 2 3 NEW CHAMPION BATISTA BATISTA BATISTA!

 

Sorry, got a bit excited there. The people are happy. Batista is happy. JR is happy. That's how you make a new megastar. And again, good as Lesnar is i don't know if he can do that for Roman Reigns like Triple H did for Batista there.

 

Many fireworks to close the show as Batista poses with his title. Very cool image. Ooh, not quite, it's a video highlight package! I miss those at the end of WrestleManias. Why don't they do them anymore?

 

 

My thoughts

 

This is the kind of match you can only really get away with in the main event of WrestleMania. Very methodical pace in terms of action, but tons going on in terms of character. Batista was a made man after that match.

 

Also… Here's the Max Landis video for the fourth time, in case you didn't watch it the first three times. Just watch it.

 

[HarmonicGenerator]

PunkStep - just to follow on from air_raid's quick Mania match suggestions, if you also watched Warrior vs. HHH, Butterbean vs. Bart Gunn, Chyna vs. Ivory, Kane vs. Chavo, Rey vs. JBL, Sheamus vs. Bryan and so on … you could probably get through most of the rest of the Manias in about an hour!

 

As for me, I'm going back to the Divas well for WrestleMania 22. Trish Stratus vs. Mickie James.

 

The match:

 

Was this 'Mania in an arena as well? I don't know why I've got it in my head that all of them since X-Seven (minus XX) were stadium shows. I like the banners of all the stars around the top tier.

 

Ooh, Peter Gabriel on in the background. Always thought this was a cracking 'Mania theme, really grew on my, plus I can remember what it was, as opposed to all the interchangeable sort-of-metal songs.

 

Video package! Mickie James is an obsessive fan of Trish Stratus who went full on psycho on Trish after being rejected. 'We could have been beautiful together' is a great line. Kicked her in the face, kidnapped Ashley (can't fault her for that, to be honest), non-consensual smooching… generally she's pretty far gone. 'DO YOU LIKE ME NOW?' and so on. Now Trish has to defend the Women's Title against her.

 

The 'Hey Mickie' rip-off music was the only thing they could have gone for with Mickie, isn't it? Ah… There's the Trish music I remember that she didn't have four years previously. JR points out she's a six-time Champion at this point. She looks good.

 

Lockup to start, then straight into slaps and forearms. A 'Louise Thesz Press' from Trish and she's taking her frustration out, stomps in the corner, chops to the boobs, and so on. Big crowd reaction as Trish catches Mickie mid-kick and shoves her down into the splits. Ouch. They're brawling on the outside and Mickie gets the advantage - she's targeting the legs, using the ring post.

 

Massive forearm from Trish, big slap from Mickie, forearm, slap, forearm, slap, then James cuts Trish's legs out from under her with a low dropkick. The crowd are being twats and cheering for her, in a sign of things to come, both in the night's main event, most Chicago events since, and the current landscape. Lesnar vs. Goldberg may have been where its foundations were laid but I think it's this show where the Twat Crowd / Dem Wans movement was really catalysed. Cheering for Mickie over Trish, I ask you. Twats.

 

Sorry. Match going on. Anyway, Mickie's still targeting the leg, single leg crabs, wrapping the leg up in the ropes, etc etc. Oh fuck off, you shit shit crowd, they're doing fucking duelling clap clap clapclapclaps now. 

 

Trish fights back with a nice headscissors, and the twats are booing her. I wish JR and King weren't acknowledging them so much and trying to justify them. I should be used to this sort of thing in the 2015 landscape but it's actively taking away from the match here. 

 

Trish was going for her turnbuckle hurricanrana thing, the name of which I can't recall - Stratusphere, was it? - but Mickie counters. Rollup! Mickie's knickers in plain view in that pin attempt, which Lawler acknowledges but controls himself for which he is to be commended. I'm desperately tempted to put this on mute to silence the crowd. Running powerbomb by Trish, only gets two. She went for the Stratusfaction but did Mickie just grab her in the crotch? Weird. In character, but weird. Couple of nasty looking kicks to the face and Mickie's just won the Women's title!

 

JR WILL YOU SHUT UP POINTING OUT HOW CONTRARY THE CROWD ARE BEING. YOU ARE ENCOURAGING THEIR ATTENTION SEEKING BEHAVIOUR, IT'S NINE YEARS LATER AND THEY'RE STILL FUCKING DOING IT. THEY DON'T NEED YOUR ENDORSEMENT. DO WHAT THE ANNOUNCERS DO NOW AND JUST IGNORE IT.

 

I don't like heels winning matches at WrestleMania. I know Trish is getting her win back in April or May, but who rewatches the April or May PPVs? It's WrestleMania that people keep coming back to so it's WrestleMania where things should end. Should have been Trish getting revenge on her psycho stalker, not the psycho stalker winning! That's just me, though. At the time it makes sense - it's just watching again years down the line where it's a bit crap. 

 

The same goes for not putting the better-stipulation match on at Mania. Like with the ECW 8-Man at Mania 23. Could have had a potentially show stealing Extreme Rules match - the exact match they had two days later on TV. Had that been at Mania, that'd have been remembered as a mid card classic. But instead they keep that for TV and have something totally forgettable at the big show. Again, I get why, but it still seems a waste. But I digress.

 

My thoughts

 

Perfectly decent women's match (Trish had improved massively between X-8 and here) utterly ruined by a crowd of mutants. Though I suppose I should get used to that from this point on… I'm planning on watching Cena again next!

[air_raid]

I'm guessing you watched the version with Mickie licking her fingers (after frotting Trish in the muff) removed, otherwise you would definitely have made comment on it.

[HarmonicGenerator]

I'm guessing you watched the version with Mickie licking her fingers (after frotting Trish in the muff) removed, otherwise you would definitely have made comment on it.

 

 

I saw no licking of fingers, so that's quite possible. Would they have edited something like that off the Network?

[Callum1993]

Yeah they probably did. I think I remember reading that Vince was fuming with Mickie when she went backstage after the match for doing it. Not 100% though.

[air_raid]

I saw no licking of fingers, so that's quite possible. Would they have edited something like that off the Network?

 

I imagine they would. It was cut out of the home release at the time. I still have my "taped off Sky Sports" version. Although its not that moment that's the reason, just lack of owning the show in any other format. Though I can't stand watching any show that's been fucked around with since the original broadcast. Seeing 2002 Edge come out with his boring old music dubbed over Rob Zombie, for instance, makes my blood pressure rise.

[WWFChilli]

Mickie licking her fingers was fucking ace. Brilliant.

 

I think the crowd turned somewhat because Trish did get a bit stale around this time, it was a lesbian angle with wrestling fans and people just dug the Mickie character. Very good match, great running angle as well.

[HarmonicGenerator]

I had to remind myself of that Edge/Rob Zombie song, raid. That was on Forceable Entry as well, if I recall.

 

WrestleMania 23 brings me to the first time in the project that I'll be watching a match in which I've already seen each participant on another 'Mania. John Cena vs. Shawn Michaels. Cena I watched for WM20, but he's now a main eventer. Michaels I haven't watched since WM10, so it's been a while. It's the main event and it's for the title.

 

23 was the first Mania I watched live in the middle of the night (and the only one, except for last year). I'd been at a show at the People's Theatre in Newcastle that night (main-evented by Heidenreich) and then drove to my mate's house for the big show. I remember us reacting big-time to Jeff Hardy breaking the ladder, being not that interested in Khali-Kane, loving Benoit-MVP, thinking the Battle of the Billionaires dragged on ages, me liking Undertaker's match with Batista more than my mates did, being disappointed in the ECW match and very happy with the main event, which I remember being great (though not as good as Undertaker vs. Batista, which was my match of the night, or - at the time - Benoit-MVP).

 

I had joined the UKFF the previous week.

 

On to the match. It's a long'un, this one. I've got the Network poised at the start of the pre-match video, which is 50 minutes away from the end of the show.

 

The match

 

WrestleMania 23's slogan is 'All Grown Up'. Terrible. This seems to be the reasoning behind a little kid being Shawn in the video package, so he can talk about being 'all grown up'. 

 

JR and Lawler are the announce team again. JR's just mentioned that Cena and Michaels are the Tag Team Champions… have they not lost them by this point? 

 

Oh, hang on, the Michaels video wasn't actually for this match. We get this video now. Michaels won a triple threat against Rated RKO to get the title shot. Loads of slo-mo shots of both men, and according to Wikipedia, yes, Cena and Michaels are the tag champs at the moment. The story of the match is essentially that Cena is the dominant champion but Michaels is Mr. WrestleMania and can't be outperformed in a big match.

 

D-X music for Shawn this year. It's all gone green, apart from Shawn himself who's in a fetching red and white number. I like the music but I wouldn't have been opposed to him having 'Sexy Boy' for one night here. Maybe they'd already paid for the X-Shaped pyro before Triple H got injured and needed to use it regardless. Considering Shawn's got about a dozen crucifixes dangling off his jacket they could have just turned it into a sparkly exploding cross, but even as I type that I realise that's probably blasphemous, so perhaps not.

 

I'm readying myself for the boos as Cena comes out. In a Ford Mustang which is doing some high-speed stunt driving through the streets of Detroit. I get the feeling this isn't live. At least, not until it smashes through some glass into the stadium and Cena gets out of the driver's seat to boos. I always wonder whether the boos bothered him in the first couple of years. He must be confident enough at this point to not give a shit either way, but during the years he was still being established as the Man, it must have got to him a bit.

 

80,000 in tonight according to Lawler. The boos do create a heated atmosphere, even if they're not reacting the way WWE would want, at least they're making noise. Shawn starts off with a slap to the face and some strikes to knock Cena down. That's "don't get cocky, kid" in a nutshell. Pitch-perfect first exchange before the match kicks off proper. A bit of back and forth wrestling, Shawn ducks every one of Cena's punches and chops him to the ground. "You may be the champion but I'm Mr. WrestleMania", that's what that's saying. Both men are playing their parts well here. 

 

Cena has tried to use his power in the early going but Michaels, as JR points out a split second before I type it, is attacking that strength by outwrestling him. JR's at his best in matches like this. BOOF, Cena gets Shawn with a clothesline. "I get that you're great, but I am the champ, you old bastard". Facial expressions from both men are again great. Cena gets hip-tossed to the outside, HBK then Enziguiris him so he's prone on the announce table. Up on to the apron, springboard off the second rope, MOONSAULT on to the announce table but the table doesn't break. That looked painful. Majestic, but painful. Great camera angle for it, and for each replay. Ouch, though.

 

For the first time in the project, I've paused a match, Wales are playing in the Six Nations and I had to see. 

 

 

They played a blinder. 61-20. Yay Wales.

 

 

Back now.

 

Michaels is targeting Cena's leg, lots of stomps, a Mickie James-esque ring-post usage, and for the first time in the match itself JR points out these two are tag team partners as well. Talk about an afterthought, poor Tag titles. Chop block and Cena goes down in a lot of pain. This all fits into the story of the match, Shawn taking out a limb to systematically take down the champion. Shawn's taking his time, getting right in Cena's face. JR's talking about this being a wrestling lesson for Cena, and I can see that - Michaels is showing him what can happen if he wants to be more than a champion and be a megastar, etc.

 

Cena got one punch in there, and Shawn did a flippy back big sell, but it's back into the corner where the leg is still the object of his intention. He may have taken slightly too long, though, as each chop Shawn hits gives Cena a chance to punch back. One more flippy back and Cena gets a chance to move out of the way and Shawn goes shoulder first into the turnbuckle, which somehow busts him open.

 

Ah, no, replay shows his head hitting the post, which again JR points out as I was typing it. Stop reading my thoughts, Jim. Cena on top now as the blood flows freely. All he needed was an opening. Shoulder block shoulder block spinny slam thing. Hand up, can't see me, five knuckle shuffle, but Cena's waiting for Shawn to get up which is probably a bad idea. Up for the F-U, which is still called that at this point in time, Michaels tries to fight back but does the flippy upside down into the turnbuckle thing, and then Mike Chioda eats Sweet Chin Music. That's him out.

 

Cena hits the F-U, no he doesn't, countered into a DDT. John seems to have forgotten about all that damage to the leg - I remember that bothered me the first time, too. I don't know if it's going to come back into it a little later in the match, but the odd limpy motion after a move wouldn't go amiss.

 

Shawn smells blood. His own, probably, but he's spurred into taking some more extreme action. He's annoyed at this point, and he's got Cena on the steps, I remember this I REMEMBER THIS, PILEDRIVER ON THE STEPS PILEDRIVER ON THE STEPS PILEDRIVER ON THE STEPS. It. Looks. BRUTAL. And it gets the biggest reaction of the match so far because IT IS A PILEDRIVER AND IT WAS ON THE STEPS. Cena bleeding from the back (or the top) of the head now. 

 

Michaels has shown frustration - those earlier motives we saw are out of the window, and it's just a case of finishing him now. Jack Doan runs down at super-speed to deliver a two count. HBK forearm and a kip up. Many people in the crowd stand up. Looks like he's going to the top rope, and has probably taken too much time, nope, elbow from the top rope. Tuning up the band… Cena SMACKS him with a clothesline and both men are down.

 

They exchange wobbly-leg punches for a while (pretend there's an earthquake going on) and HBK counters the F-U with a rollup, HBK tries a leapfrog and Cena counters that! F-U! Everyone stands up again, huge cheer when he hits it then they remember they're supposed to boo him and boo. But Michaels kicks out!

 

Back in the corner, Cena gets Michaels up on his shoulder on the top rope, but gets knocked back to the floor. Cross body from Michaels, rolled through into another F-U, countered by Michaels who lands on his feet and goes for Sweet Chin Music, which Cena grabs his foot for and tries the STF, which Michaels counters, which Cena counters, which Michaels counters…. phew. That was an exhilarating exchange, fantastic bit of wrestling that combines the chain stuff you normally see at the start of a match with recognisable finishers that you'd get at the end of one.

 

However, Cena locks on the STF but Michaels grabs the ropes. Doan tells Cena off, allowing a Sweet Chin Music to connect! Both men down again. When they eventually get back up, another series of counters leads to the STF(U) being applied, this time in the middle of the ring. Cena ain't letting go. Michaels taps and Cena wins. He looks knackered.

 

Ooh, hang on. After all the pyro and posing with the title, the two men meet again on the entrance aisle. Shawn walks away but Cena shows respect for him. Rematches will be had… 

 

Post-show video package! Woohoo! BRING THESE BACK PLEASE WWE. 

 

My thoughts

 

Great match from both men. 2000s Michaels was bloody excellent, and 2007 was one of Cena's best years. It does bother me slightly that Cena shows no ill-effects from all the attacks on his leg early on in the match, but you do get caught up in the rest of the match enough that you can easily forget it.

[CleetusVanDamme]

I think it's my favourite 'Mania show-closer. The big swings in momentum (and the lead-up to them) are perfectly done. Especially the first: Cena, who'd spent the first 15 getting schooled, instinctively getting out of the way of a routine shoulder-block, then literally smelling the blood on Michaels and pouncing on it immediately was a great bit of storytelling. And the role-reversals later with Shawn having to be the one to fight his way back in (and start using dirty tricks), then Cena out-wrestling him in the closing stretch. I never buy roll-ups as near-falls in big matches, but they got me with all of theirs towards the end. Fantastic match, I should watch it again soon, it's been like four or five years since I last did.

 

Oh, and that piledriver on the steps is underrated in terms of "holy shit!" spots.