Paid Members CuckedByMenry Posted January 14, 2012 Paid Members Share Posted January 14, 2012 The deadline for any and all first round submissions is Saturday 21st January at 3:00pm. All future submissions to be no more/less than 16 lines. Good luck.  CleetusVanDamme vs tom  tom: "Yo yo yo, I'm up against a supposed fine fine man, You other bitches need to take notice, See what I do to CleetusVanDamme  CleetusVanDamme? What kind of name is CleetusVanDamme? I was gonna check if neil name raped you, But I be too busy fingering your Mam  You need to recognise I learnt to rap from old school Cena, Mongs call him shit but there was nobody keener, So I'll adjust your attitude, And take you to the cleaner, Then everybody'll forget you like your Cody Deaner  This is like American Dad, I'm Stan Smith but you're just Rodger, Everyone knows I'm dumping you out, You be gone quicker than Rey Piste's lodger, And anyway, I've got a much bigger todger  With the women I'm a master, You're a little virgin boy, You at home wishing your hand was faster, But I ride the ladies like I'm Tony McCoy, Let's put this another way, I'm Darth Vader, I've got a fucking death star, you just a masturbator  I hate the old cunt but I'm Jim Duggan, I've got a massive piece of wood, And you'll be my ho, My victory will be like a drive-by in the hood, Violent and sudden!"   CleetusVanDamme: "What kind of name is CVD? It's the name your mum be screaming, Your dad probably knows it too, he gets woke up when she's dreaming. I'm CleetusVanDamme I spit fire like a demon.  Why only finger my ma? Can your cock not raise? You're the virgin pal, til the end of your days. It's nice that you think you're the master, But go have a look at your mum's flange, there's nothing left after I blast her.  You gonna come after me? You're the pupil, I'm the teacher, Actually it's worse than that, I'm Schillinger, you're my fresh Beecher. It's telling that you're a Cena fan, your execution is botched, My rhymes are flawless, like a black Karl Gotch.  Take me to the cleaners? You must have a syndrome pointing down, You even blink at me, I'll piledrive you into the ground, you'll be left with nothing from the neck down. Some will say it's harsh, but I say it's fair. You'll have mobility, like Tiger Rick has hair." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members tom Posted January 14, 2012 Paid Members Share Posted January 14, 2012 Dude you ask why I didn't fuck her, Well that's an easy argument, My dick wants no part of that disease ridden cunt  Why you so obsessed with me looking at my mum's flange? It might be routine for you, But I don't look at parental genitals, And you might do it with your mam, but we don't screw, That shit only goes down in Norwich, You need to cut that out, I don't know why you'd do it anyway, Her twat's smellier than a trout  You stupid bastard, I'm Beecher to your Schillinger? Sure you did a lot to me, But did you even watch Season 6, If you did then you'd know I've got nothing to fear, I'll be stabbing you when we recite Shakespeare  And there's one more thing you forgot too, Season 1 where I shit on you  And don't let it slip your mind, What I did to J.K. Simmons career, He's a fucking voice in Ben 10, And a bastard dog called Gruff K-9, So to wrap it all up, You're an all you can eat buffet, And I'm the Big Show, Bitch you be all mine Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members CleetusVanDamme Posted January 14, 2012 Paid Members Share Posted January 14, 2012 Oh shit, you're back, I thought you'd be dead, But you're here spraying me with mince rhymes instead. Fair play, you've got more heart than I thought, Now the gloves are off, you' about to get got! Â You still want to make excuses for not shagging my mum? Now we know why your surname is "Thumb" And Ben Ten, I don't know what that means, Do you pretend to like it so you can lure in Pre-teens? Â And you want to treat me as a meal, You want to taste me and put me in your mouth? Okay Thumb Show, You're as straight as a roundabout! Â So we reach full time again, 2-0 Cleetus, You've as much life left in you as an aborted foetus. That's how the champ rolls, CVD the terror from Leith, I'll smack you like Methadone, you'll be left with no teeth. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members tom Posted January 14, 2012 Paid Members Share Posted January 14, 2012 You touched in the head? R-Truth references, And Tom Thumb, Sound like childish arguments, Try grow some balls and throw big boy jibes instead  It's no excuse bro, I done some adventurous stuff, You question my penis, And think you well played, But if my dick went in her muff, I'd catch her syphilis and your bad AIDS  You lower the tone and suggest I'm a paedo, The implication is I enjoy them before their age becomes teen, But it's you whose got the problem when Tom Daley's on TV in his Speedos, You imagine he's bouncing on your diving board and jizz all over the screen  And you think about me in your mouth? You getting so hard just thinking about it, We all know your hand's headed south  Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Glenryck Pilchards Posted January 21, 2012 Share Posted January 21, 2012 El Espanacas Vs JLM - Round 1  Trust my luck I am facing the Scouse Martian This rap is going to hurt you so bad you wish you had testical torsion This rhyming chef was expecting a tough guy like Ray Liotta But look what I am facing a jiggling bowl of Panacotta  JLM, what kind of name is that? I am dyslexic, I always presumed you just sold cheap tat When I see your name I automatically think Poundstretcher And a distinct possibility your a closet Felcher   You play Pokemon! How fucking old are you? I'm sampling minge, while you wank over Pikachu Sorry did that upset you, please don't get the hump You will soon forget about it when you play with your penis pump   The glory days are gone, you are hardly about Just leave here, your posts are as painful as gout Dude pick your chins up and don't look so glum Just think of me whilst I'm fingering your Mum  TEESSIDE MOTHAFUKAZ!!!!   That was hard! JLM is such a nice guy!) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members JLM Posted January 21, 2012 Paid Members Share Posted January 21, 2012 El Espanacas vs JLM   El Espanacas, the poster without a face, He climbs into a bath tub, the water stays in place To this forum I'm malt whisky, aged over ten long years Take a sip of El Espanacas, "They've watered down this beer".  You've been here almost five years, I don't know who you are, Half a decade, no impression, now you drop these piss-weak bars Shadow boxing is cool and all, but the shadow never wins, I hired R. Kelly to mess you up, now he's pissing in the wind  Battle Rap Prediction League, there's something you'll enjoy I'm the lyrical Lionel Messi, you can be Chris Foy A glamour tie against JLM, the magic of the cup Whaddya reckon? 3 nil, 4? Let's just say you'll get fucked up.  Just had to check your name again to see who dares to face me It's like a nameless ring girl going up against a Gracie On my list of generic posters, I can't tell which is which Maybe I'm dyslexic too? "El Espanacanan" ah fuck it, "bitch". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members CuckedByMenry Posted January 21, 2012 Author Paid Members Share Posted January 21, 2012 No more rapping! Voting will close at 10:00pm on Wednesday 25th January. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kendal mint cake Posted January 21, 2012 Share Posted January 21, 2012 JLM and Tom is the right choice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members tom Posted January 23, 2012 Paid Members Share Posted January 23, 2012 Only 25 votes? Come on people; get mobile! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Glenryck Pilchards Posted January 24, 2012 Share Posted January 24, 2012 For the people who have voted for me you are clearly insane, but thank you anyway! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members tom Posted January 25, 2012 Paid Members Share Posted January 25, 2012 Yo bitches, Vote for me, When I win I share my riches  Vote Tom, VOTE Tom, VOTE TOM!!  Not that I'm trying to influence people or anything Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loki Posted January 25, 2012 Share Posted January 25, 2012 I boted against you mainly for that post  Was there a clause in the competition that said people had to talk about fucking each others' mums? Cos it seems to have come up in practically every rap around here. Either you all have very attractive mums, or you all just don't meet many women. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keith Houchen Posted January 25, 2012 Share Posted January 25, 2012 Was there a clause in the competition that said people had to talk about fucking each others' mums? Cos it seems to have come up in practically every rap around here. Either you all have very attractive mums, or you all just don't meet many women. Yeah, That was quite tedious, as were the gay comments. I'm sure people meant it as a post modern commentary on rap stereotypes delivered via the minds eye of how a socially awkward Internet wrestling fan interprets the hip hop genre. That's what mine was. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members tom Posted January 25, 2012 Paid Members Share Posted January 25, 2012 Was there a clause in the competition that said people had to talk about fucking each others' mums? Cos it seems to have come up in practically every rap around here. Either you all have very attractive mums, or you all just don't meet many women. Yeah, That was quite tedious, as were the gay comments. I'm sure people meant it as a post modern commentary on rap stereotypes delivered via the minds eye of how a socially awkward Internet wrestling fan interprets the hip hop genre. That's what mine was. Speak for yourself; I've not seen a woman since Nitro went to 3 hours Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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