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THE BAWBAG FIFTEEN~!~!~!

Kenny McBride

By Kenny McBride
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Kenny McBride

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If the punter has a problem with Renfrew, call the cops. Knowing Renfrew though, I suspect this is either a case of someone telling porkies or a fan SERIOUSLY crossing the line and getting exactly what they deserve. See, a worker who can't take verbal abuse should get out of the business NOW. But if a fan lays his hands on a worker, he's got to expect to get his ass handed to him. These guys are professional fighters, you know? You call him a cunt and punch him, he has every right to punch you right back.

 

Now, can't we stop this pathetic bitching and suchlike? No-one with fewer than 10 posts is allowed to comment here any more. It's just pathetic and blatant display of sock-puppetry. The guys with any talent at all on this list already have accounts and can post using those if the have baws in their giant bawbags. If it's guys who don't already have accounts, they can just fuck right off because trolling punters online is just another example of extremely high-level Bawbaggery. GTF.

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scottish_pride Rookie

scottish_pride

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Max...you're a wrestling trainee who has had matches. you're not simpl a fan.Renfrew wouldn't have touched you if you hadn't touched him first. He's a strong boy, i'm sure he didn't mean to hurt you like thast but you deserved a slap back for laying your hands on a wrestler in the first place and being a trainee you of all people should know that you don't do that.Nose bleed/broken nose...not the same thing.

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martyngnr Experienced

martyngnr

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Noone should be worried about voicing their opinion, you pay, you have EVERY right to do it...its only when you start getting threats of arrest, legal action and threatning and abusive phonecalls do you really need to stand back and laugh at the world of "professional" wrestling.

And therefore I'm to conclude that you feel that anything you say no matter how poor taste and on a personal level that doesn't need to be sunk to, is perfectly acceptable and the people the comments are made about are not within their rights to defend themselves in any manner they see fit; and that their every right to give an opinion (of any kind, with anger not being defended but thoroughtly understandable in many cases) back after being in many cases severely provoked, isnt as important as yours, despite you being the provoking aspect of the situation? Very mature.
Maybe YOU should grow up a bit. What you are basically saying is that it's justified for a bawbag to give someone a kicking for voicing their opinion! That attitude will get you really far in life pal!And anyway i hardy see commenting on someones bawbag-ness on an internet forum would constitute them being "severely provoked".
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martyngnr Experienced

martyngnr

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If the punter has a problem with Renfrew, call the cops. Knowing Renfrew though, I suspect this is either a case of someone telling porkies or a fan SERIOUSLY crossing the line and getting exactly what they deserve. See, a worker who can't take verbal abuse should get out of the business NOW. But if a fan lays his hands on a worker, he's got to expect to get his ass handed to him. These guys are professional fighters, you know? You call him a cunt and punch him, he has every right to punch you right back.Now, can't we stop this pathetic bitching and suchlike? No-one with fewer than 10 posts is allowed to comment here any more. It's just pathetic and blatant display of sock-puppetry. The guys with any talent at all on this list already have accounts and can post using those if the have baws in their giant bawbags. If it's guys who don't already have accounts, they can just fuck right off because trolling punters online is just another example of extremely high-level Bawbaggery. GTF.

Harumph! It's fucking embarassing that the Shitarse 50 went off with out much hassle whereas as soon as the first three Bawbags were posted it descended into the internet equivalent of "my mates better than yours". In saying that i would LOVE Kongo Kev to start posting on here! :laugh:
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Kenny McBride

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In the immortal words of EUROPE~! - It's the final countdown!

 

Bawbag_Cage.jpg

 

No. 3 - KG Tyler

 

Without question, the most good-natured of all the Bawbags on this list. However, in terms of the profile of his position in relation to his actual wrestling talent, this guy may have supreme scrotal seniority.

 

You all remember Bobby Heenan and Jim Cornette, right? They were managers who could bump like motherfuckers and it made them awesome. Well, that and their vocal skills. But they knew that even as well as they could bump, they were not wrestlers and should never try to be. Well, setting aside the fact that Cage isn't in their league outside the ring (though to be fair, he's not bad), he also has a self-destructive compulsion to "wrestle" as well. God knows why. EVERYONE must have seen the Sprules match by now. At the time, I put it down to Sprules being rubbish and it only being Cage's second ever match. The thing is though, Cage never got any better. He's still a rotten bumper, has the puniest stomps in history and doesn't seem to be able to do anything at all without blowing up. Is lucky to have Johnny Darko as his regular tag partner, as he's one of the most unobtrusively talented guys on the SWA roster. Darko, on the other hand, is deeply unlucky to have Tyler by his side, as he's gone from beating Conscience twice on the bounce and having good matches with everyone he faced to losing to Cav and Shiv on NXT shows while carrying the entire workload of every match he's in. I mean, as an occasional gimmick, it's fun to get a useless manager into the ring to see him get his comeuppance, or even to put heat on his guys by having them open the babyfaces up for cheapshots from the sneaky little SOB. But really, Tyler's role is, always has been and must always be from now until the day he dies, strutting out with his cane and his swank suits to the awesome strains of Joss Stone, making the A-List look all the more awesome and evil. He must never attempt to wrestle again. Never. Seriously, you expect someone called Kongo Kev, working for a company as lame and awful as SWE, to be the drizzling shits, but he's actually a better performer than this Bawbag. Just awful in every way.

 

If this is Evolution, you can have your thumbs back...and shove them up your shitarse.

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Kenny McBride

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Bawbag_Conscience.jpg

 

No. 2 - The Last True Phenom and the I-Con of Scottish Wrestling - "The Pryor" Conscience

 

Shit. I'm gonna pay for this one...

 

A man so egotistical, his gimmicks takes up two lines. Ring announcers have been known to blow up just listing all this Bawbag's nicknames. Audiences have been known to blow up sprinting away from the building as soon as they see him coming. He's been known to blow up while methodically plodding to the ring.

 

Yes, it's another promoter on the list, and wouldn't you know it - the entire promotion revolves around him. Maybe at his size, it's just gravity taking effect. Books himself like a more selfish HHH but performs like a more useless Golga. Actually, that's not fair. Golga was funny.

 

Seems to believe he is Britain's answer to the Undertaker. To be fair, he has the entrance down. I did genuinely get chills down my spine at The Gathering. However, once he gets in the ring, it's a whole different story. You never see 'Taker sit up and then start slapping the mat, shouting "c'moan Bellshill! Let's heeeeear ye!" You also don't ever see him do ridiculous, rambling promos after EVERY FUCKING MATCH that remind you of Atsushi Onita at his least charismatic and most self-indulgent.

 

Bills himself as Britain's greatest 300lb submission wrestler. There's a simple reason why he's right - no other 300lb man is stupid enough to think that tricksy matwork is the way to get over a man of that size. But he has to do it - HAS to - to prove he can. Just like every so often he has to bust out the Worst. Moonsault. Ever. just to prove he can do that too. Then there's the silly dives. And the occasional overly brutal hardcore match. Because if he doesn't do EVERYTHING A WRESTLER CAN POSSIBLY DO, he couldn't possibly justify the push he gives himself. Of course, if he did all that and was awesome - like, say, Vader - then, combined with his cool gimmick, he'd be legitimately amongst the all-time greats of British wrestling. But it's all so lame. The matwork is sloppy, the moonsault is embarrassing and scary, the dives are just insanely dangerous and the hardcore matches are pointless and probably scare some of the more responsible parents off. If he kept himself as a less regular attraction, didn't talk so much, didn't sell or bump much (not that he ever stoops to make anyone other than his bestest buddies look good) and just smashed the shit out of people who fuck with him, he'd be a really excellent, money-drawing attraction. As it is, his aging body is breaking down at an increasingly rapid rate, his mystique is pretty much dead and his drawing power must now be under serious scrutiny. And he's the second biggest Bawbag in all of Scotland. That's right - the NWA British Heavyweight Champion, the multiple-time Scottish Heavyweight Champion and the undisputed headline act of Scotland's biggest promotion is, according to our voters, the second worst person in Scottish wrestling. And he only has himself to blame.

 

300lbs of Bawbag? Yeah, I tap.

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