neil

31 minutes ago, Keith Houchen said:

Danny Boy Johnson. 

DBJ 4 Life

Who is going to revolt though?

Someone had better get onto the world straight line mission committee and report him pronto.

He was incredibly lucky in that last episode, could have gone badly wrong for them. It's just amazing to me how much prep he does in Google Earth but rarely seems to consider "what if something goes wrong" in all of it and just becomes blind to the mission. I mean ok sure, maybe you only bring a single GPS unit because they are reliable but not bailing immediately when it was clear the batteries are running out and you might be in absolute shit if so is insane.

Today I learned that the Old Town Road beat is a sample from NIN

8 hours ago, gmoney said:

The chances of me needing to drive a manual in some sort of emergency seem to me to be pretty slim. 

I will say that one thing to consider is if you go abroad and rent a car you may find yourself stuck with a manual. Maybe/probably rare but there is some value in learning on a manual as it truly is like "riding a bike" even if you buy an automatic.

My driving horror lesson was two fold. The instructor I had was highly rated and in my first lesson I was absolute dog shit. Stalling, revving the fuck out the engine, crunching gears, almost hitting the curb, but the instructor was super nice about it which made me feel good. A couple weeks into lessons I bumped into a kid on my street who also had him for lessons and he asked me "how is it going with him?" and I said great and he replied "ah well maybe that will change, but I don't want to give you the wrong idea about him, maybe it was me" which I remember thinking was odd. Roll on several weeks and he started to get meaner and meaner, gone was the 1st lesson friendliness and encouragement, now it was less encouragement and more harsh comments - maybe just making me focus and not get complacent I thought.

The interlude, and part two, of the horror story was my theory test. I studied the shit out of it and felt very confident. I had to take it in Harlow which was a fairly easy bus ride from Waltham Abbey. I checked the timetable and decided to take an earlier bus, giving me plenty of time before the exam and reducing the risk should the bus just not show up. So on the day of I'm on the bus well on the way on a country road (up the Crooked Mile for those who know the area) and realise that I've forgotten some important piece needed to take the exam. So I freak out, beg the bus driver to pull over and let me out, as this was a country road there was no bus stop for ages and begin running the roughly 3 miles back home. I get home, get the thing I'd forgotten and realise there is no way I can get the next bus in time. Luckily my Nan and Granddad lived around the corner so I go there and ask my Granddad to give me a lift to Harlow - he was not happy but he did it. I get there on time, still fueled up with panic and adrenaline, and proceed to fail the fucking exam by one question.

On to the conclusion, my instructor continued to be a prize cunt with the harsh comments now being more of him yelling and making accusations about "have you gone out with your mum for a drive and picked up all her bad habits?" (not that he knew anything about my mothers driving) and "you'll fail in the first 5 minutes driving like this", made me do a three point turn on a narrow road with a refuse truck breathing down my neck with him yelling at me about how I'm holding them up and to hurry up. This was all going on during the "refresher lesson" before my practical test so already being nervous and after all of that from him I was a wreck and convinced I was going to fail. Ended up passing with ease, picking up just 3 minor faults on a 45 minute test (new examiner got lost) and being made to do every single one of the bloody maneuvers.

Instructor had the nerve to get back in the car, act shocked that I passed and then goes "I warned you about that" in reference to the minor faults. He told me to drive back home and I didn't say a word to him. He had the nerve at the end to go "its been a pleasure and by the way I offer motorway lessons if you like".

I just got through all of GeoWizard's "How NOT to travel Europe" and I think it's the best thing he's done. Equal parts mad and funny, but also incredibly heart warming with how nice people are to a couple strangers.

49 minutes ago, Accident Prone said:

How is everyone finding the gym recently? I've grown quite the dad bod (and not the flattering kind either) and I am absolutely disgusted with how I look, so I'm looking at hitting the GYMGROUP near my work, but obviously being in an enclosed environment with sweat particles flying everywhere doesn't sound safe at all. I'm also one of these twats who just can't work out and leave, I HAVE to shower straight afterwards which is another safety issue to contend with.

I'm triple-jabbed so as long as I socially distance myself whilst working out and showering (steady on!) I should be okay but I'm still not convinced. Am I over-thinking this?

 

Honestly I say do a home workout. I'm a fan of the no equipment, light impact ones that Joe Wicks has. 20 minutes tops and its a really solid workout. 

I scratch my head whenever I walk past a gym and see someone running on a treadmill during this pandemic.

On 12/29/2021 at 2:02 PM, Chris B said:

Had my Moderna booster jab, then caught up with @Carbomband had vegetarian gyoza and green tea, because I live in North London and this is our Maccy D's. #classy #gentrification #ruiningthearea

What I want to know is how you handled the difficult situation of who gets the 5th gyoza?

31 minutes ago, Devon Malcolm said:

Same guy apparently has been slagging Lee off for years on Cookd and Bombd too.

We'll be in the pedal bin next year and I'll have to write a "Dear Stewart" response.

Absolutely hilarious. I didn't scroll down past his Microsoft Write-esque list of various things to get to the pedestal/pedal bin list. The responses on twitter and for those losers kicked off twitter (glinner) via their blogs has been hilarious.

47 minutes ago, SuperBacon said:

Had no idea it was even out. Will give it a watch now, thanks.

The absolute king. About time I rewatched The Big Fat Freight Hop series.

Brave Dave is pretty lame and he overhypes situations. For good trainhopping watch shiey or gifgas or the late "stobe the hobo"

6 minutes ago, FelatioLips said:

I understand the “try not to deviate” thing but when they got to the tennis court and decided to climb it instead of walking around it when you could clearly see they were maybe two meters from the corner, it felt pretty unnecessary.

Thats what makes the whole thing so hilarious to me at times, like its not just trying to stay within the "platinum" limits but doing things like that to keep it perfectly on line. Much like the times where he sticks his arm out over a hedge, you're saving like a meter tops.

@SuperBacon not bumping his own thread after a new episode drops? shameful.

More of the kind of stuff in part 2 of this attempt that just makes me laugh, won't spoil for others.

Danis is pure cringe. Been all downhill from him since Marcelo Garcia kicked him out.

5 hours ago, PunkStep said:

 

But let's be honest, Ghislaine won't be singing like a canary because she will 'commit suicide' very, very soon. 

The UKFF corollary to these photos would be likes* on Gatso's infamous post.

*we didn't have them back then. Bring back down votes

17 hours ago, Thunderplex said:

Kids these days wouldn’t know a codec if it bit them on the balls.

Having to download some russian codec that was riddled with malware just to watch the grainy footage of Sally Fletcher from Home and Away's sex tape put hair on your chest (and palms).

1 minute ago, Tommy! said:

Who banned gmoney at one time? I remember calls from the masses to review that one, and rightfully so as he's great.

Me

19 minutes ago, King Coconut said:

A thread in which we can discuss the many, many ways in which @neil has been an absolute bellend over the years. I remember the time he banned Guy Bifkin, who's been an absolute gem of a poster since they invented the internet. What a bellend.

You seem to be having a Christmas melt down. My WhatsApp is open mate.

I proved myself right

This thread seems incredibly dull. Prove me wrong.

Button Moon was awful. Yet another case of "weren't things brill in our childhood" being totally wrong.

Geowizard's videos get recommended to me all the time due I suspect me watching a lot of nerdy as fuck stuff. The geoguessing shite does nothing for me, but ended up watching some of these straight line videos of his. Quite amusing in that he seems to spend an age on planning and then fucks up the most simple of stuff. The Scotland one is absolutely hilarious for how it ends.

Can someone send me the yahoo chat room link?

More essential viewing than a Brooker festive Screenwipe this.

And that fucking banana prank...that shit really was a big deal in the 80s and as Millard says, never fucking worked.