Accident Prone

12 minutes ago, Merzbow said:

Kingston has got himself in a tag team with Akiyama on a DDT event, he's probably much happier doing that than a shit spooky bollocks feud.

Christ, I let out the loudest groan when they did the subliminal messaging shite during the Elite promo. One of the main reasons I watch AEW instead of WWE is because I can't stand cringe supernatural dogshit, and yet here we are. I'm sure the eventual straight-up 6-man will be excellent, but it also means sitting through embarrassing WWE-style eerie PG hogwash.

Fucking hell, I'd be queuing for a refund if I were at that Dynamite. None of AEW's best qualities shined in that episode, and instead it came off like a glorified house show. It's really disappointing considering the hot streak that they've been on, especially with the weekly PPV-quality matches, and I kinda pegged it would be a below-average show when the lackluster card was put together.

16 hours ago, wandshogun09 said:

I don’t know why this was happening but it had me grinning from ear to ear like a right div just. 

 

I cannot pass up any opportunity to re-post this gem in response:

https://streamable.com/n0ikr

Anyone know of any book analysis podcasts? Something where the hosts discuss the summary, themes, characters, tone, metaphors etc? I've just finished 'Do Androids Dream Of Electric Sheep', which was my first foray into fiction in a couple of decades.  I enjoyed it immensely but as I'm a mere plebeian I was taking everything at face value instead of latching on to the real meanings behind and between the words. What I'm after is a podcast that goes "The curtains are red and THIS is why...".

It's a long shot, but there's a famous Reddit post where a guy was finding stuff in his apartment moved and messed with, including notes addressed to him appearing out of nowhere. Turns out that he had carbon monoxide poisoning and was doing all that stuff himself without remembering. Have you checked for high carbon monoxide levels in the house?

I've missed PLENTY of bands over the years due to having no one to go with, and I regret it massively, especially now that I'm old, have super-tight financial responsibilities and free time that amounts to a grain of a sand in the fucking Sahara desert. It's something that I'm definitely going to encourage Accident Prone Jr to engage more in.

I'm late to the discussion on the previous page about AEW not offering enough story last week but I have to kickback at the idea that last week's Dynamite was all about the wrestling and not enough about those damned stories. Every match on the last weeks show was steeped in build, some of it weeks and months long. This wasn't wrestling for the sheer sake of wrestling, and that hasn't been the case for a while now on AEW Dynamite. I mean, let's break down the card:

Jon Moxley vs. Adam Page

The rubber match in this trilogy of hard-hitting barnburners. This story started all the way back in October, and has been simmering and building ever since. Page and Mox are two ass kickers with diametrically opposed philosophies around respect and sportsmanship. The story feels like it could happen in real life, the characters feel real and are reacting in a believable way. It's all lovely.

Truth Magnum & Turbo Floyd vs. The Acclaimed

WWE-style gobbledegook for people who like WWE-style gobbledegook. This story began a few weeks back with the Gunns using psychological warfare against their own father, eventually succeeding by gaining a tag title shot after the Acclaimed won an old-school tag team showcase against a couple of hickory-dickory jobbers. Are we suddenly forgetting this is all playing off a 2022 feud that reached a climax last summer?

Brian Cage (w/Prince Nana) vs. Konosuke Takeshita

Both men have suffered losses to Bryan Danielson in his quest to win the strap, but KT earned DB's respect and now sides with him. This match stems from the previous episode where Konosuke halted an attack from Cage and MJF on Danielson, and not only gained his first AEW Dynamite win here but also gained a match against the world champion on the next episode.

Bryan Danielson vs. Timothy Thatcher

Bryan Danielson's 4th challenge in MJF's championship gauntlet of hired mercenaries. Cage and MJF destroyed his arm the previous week, and MJF then queued up submission and AHHRM-BAHHR-specialist Timothy Thatcher to de-thatch the arm further from it's sockets and ligaments. This lead to Bryan suffering more heavy losses to his arm, and can you guess what MJF's main submission finisher is? IT'S THE SALT OF THE EARTH! PRO WRESTLING, BABY!

Jade Cargill (w/Leila Grey) vs. Red Velvet

This one was steeped in history, believe it or not. Cargill defeated Velvet in the quarter-finals of the 2021 TBS Championship tournament. By April 2022, Velvet was in a stable with Jade, assisting her in tags and title matches in order to keep the TBS championship around Jade's waist. Now, en-route to going 50-0, Jade had to get through someone who knew her every weakness.

Darby Allin vs. Samoa Joe

Match three in another trilogy of hard-hitting feuds. (Fucking great how AEW book-ended the show like that, isn't it?), only this time it's for a the secondary singles strap. This one also has it's roots in a two month's long build, with Darby defeating Joe on his second attempt and destroying himself in every match thereafter in order to keep his winning ways alive. What's more pro wrestling than a feud ending in a vicious gimmick match for a prestigious title?

The stories are there, plain as day. They're layered and present themselves as classic stories retold for modern audiences. They're just not being presented in slow, mundane twenty minute promos (unless you're Chris Jericho), with a zillion video packages and a bazillion clumsy, awkward backstage segments (unless you're in the AEW women's division). You don't have generic heels doing the "YOOOOOUUUU people" schtick, meandering and unnatural scripted promos, and you don't have babyfaces constantly being made to look like chumps.

For the most part, AEW doesn't present their storytelling in the same manner that WWE has for twenty years, and that's a good thing. Like any pro wrestling company, they hit some clangers here and there, but for the most part it's weekly TV pro wrestling done right. There's plenty of stories being told and plenty to sink your teeth into. It's definitely not the mainstream PWG that some people paint it as (although I would love that, to be fair).

First gig: New Found Glory/Hundred Reasons/Reggie And The Full Effect in 2004, Birmingham Carling Academy.

Okay for a first gig. The drummer from NFG was pulling double duty under a hooded robe with Reg (the legs gave it away, weirdly enough), and they even got Jordan out in a Poundland fairy-skeleton costume to do backing vocals. Hundred Reasons were an odd choice, and didn't fit in with the vibe at all, but I still belted along to 'Falter'. NFG are a blur, I do not remember them at all. I do remember queueing up and some local sk8er bellend spelling out his plan to bully someone out of a ticket in pigeon park, which put to bed the idea that the alternative side were better than the 'townies'. Absolute cockroach of a man.

Best gig: Like many others, way too many to get into. Cursive at the Hare And Hounds in 2008, Jawbreaker in London in 2019, the third day of Download 2009 where I just watched Journey at about noon and then spent the rest of the day fucking levered at the campsite, & Our Lady Peace twice during their 2012 UK tour (including their appearance at the Canada Day celebrations in Trafalgar Square, where me, my brother and best mate dressed up as Terrence And Philip).

Worst gig: Coheed And Cambria, Download 2008.

I love Coheed, and I was bigging them up to my mate for fucking ages, and I dragged him along to the front for this and prepped him to have his mindblown.

Claudio, the lead singer, just could not give a fuck. He was in a right fucking mood, didn't even acknowledge the crowd or his band mates. After a few miserable songs, the bass player meekly spoke into the mic, "Hi, we're Coheed & Cambria, we're from New York" and then they all carried on with the set as if they were simply filling their obligations to be there. They clearly didn't want to be there, but they were. The crowd sensed something was off and so the energy was as depressing as the stage presence. At the end, Claudio played the guitar with his mouth for a few seconds before basically dropping it to the floor and fucking off.

I think that lackluster performance weighed on the lads, as they came back to the same fest the next year like they had electrodes strapped to their nipples, Claudio just going buck fucking wild on-stage, it was tremendous. I love Coheed.

Feels like a proper pandemic UKFF year when we've already got the POTY award sewn up by January 31st. Excellent, incredible work @Fatty Facesitter! Above and fucking beyond.

For a game that only requires the four keyboard arrow keys (and the ESC key to see the map), Vampire Survivors is fucking great, isn't it? It seems that as you keep playing and plugging away, more and more layers of gameplay reveal themselves. It's just excellent, and I'm incredibly lucky that there isn't a proper Android version or else I'd be truly fucked.

I couldn't tell you a lick about the soundtrack though, as it's also an excellent podcast game. Up there with Slay The Spire, Rogue Legacy, Dead Cells, Hades, and Binding Of Isaac as games to work on your podcast queue. And I've not even moved past the first character yet, despite unlocking more than a dozen more so far.

1 hour ago, Louch said:

Na he’s gotten too lazy for that, probably just bore them to death with his matches 

Cheers lads! I knew the source, I just wrongly remembered/assumed that there was an original thread where everybody was taking the material to task, which basically consisted of everybody taking the material to task.

On 1/26/2023 at 12:44 PM, Frankie Crisp said:

Best ongoing UKFF gag
Two Months at McColls wins this, which basically consisted of Two Months at McColls winning this award.

Has anybody got a link to the thread that this originated from? Or has it been lost to time?

Fucking hell, the takes about Danielson on here are making my head throb.

Could he be booked stronger? Use a better theme song? Not spend a load of time in 2022 wasting around with Chris Jericho? Yes. 

But he's still one of the best pro wrestlers in the world (even THE best wrestler in the world in many respected opinions) in a rivalry with the world champion where he gets to wrestle top quality opponents every fucking week and now we've jumped a gear where he's pissed off, fired up and delivering great promos. What's not to like?

Yeah he's not the WWE Daniel Bryan doing the YES chant while Michael Cole makes goat jokes, and he not's a "HAHAHAHAHA I AM A MANICIAL HEEL" vegan eco warrior, because now he gets to be more than all that (although he would happily go back to doing that in WWE, no questions asked).

I get the feeling that a lot of people wrote Danielson off in the 00's and early 2010's as just some tiny vanilla indie wrestler with no personality, despite all the video footage captured in that time proving him to be the exact opposite (we'll refer to these people as "Liars"). Then he got the big push in WWE and those exact same people were well behind him because "Ah y'see it's the WWE system that makes him great, he was still crap elsewhere!".

Now he's fucked off elsewhere and he's doing his own thing (which can be a bit irritating at times, but hey, it's Bryan fucking Danielson) and he's cutting great promos about kicking ass and he has a crowd connection without resorting to WWE tropes, and Excalibur isn't screaming "FLYING GOAT!!!!!" like a massive bellend, and so now it's back to being shite and vanilla and all that guff.

Ah, the internet. It can kiss my arse.

4 hours ago, Devon Malcolm said:

CM Punk comes in, has constantly great matches and puts people over, has AEW's best feud of the year and also displays progressive intent when it comes to abortion and Jon Moxley's break. What a fucking letdown!

Better than I could've said it myself. 70% of the votes?! The fuck. Bloody UKFF.

Cheers @Frankie Crisp! Excellent work on the awards, you deserve some time off!

Weird show, with plenty of technical hiccups and out-of-place WWE style booking. I imagine that's due to other outside factors. Certainly not a bad show any means, but it felt more like show designed to keep things ticking over instead of progressing anything in a major way (with the exception of BD's shoulder injury).

And I completely understand why, considering the tragic nature and stubbornness of the past two weeks.

Briscoe vs Lethal was great, as was the post-match and pre-match. One that I'll not be forgetting anytime soon. Really special.

Me watching everyone psyche themselves up for the Rumble only to be ultimately let down as per usual

I'm never going back until they remove that shite game mechanic where your wrestler automatically rolls to the outside after taking a few moves in multi-man matches. I don't care how true it is to the WWE formula, it's an awful addition and another step into weird McMahon realism.

Jeff Hardy was so fucked in that match that he couldn't put his boots on, I think it's inclusion in this list is highly justified.

I don't care how silly it is, or how unlikely it is, or how extremely naïve of me it is, but I'm taking every single wink, nudge and throwaway line by Hangman in that interview as "OH MY GOD CM PUNK IS COMING BACK".

Don't ask me to explain it, as I can't.

BUT HE'S FUCKING COMING BACK ISN'T HE, COME ON PHIL!

Pinging @Undefeated Steakagain. He's not been seen since he was bundled into hospital by the police in 2020, and he's not logged on since September of that year. Hope you're okay, fella.

13 hours ago, SuperBacon said:

@Accident ProneAll great IMO, especially Of Mice And Men. Let us know what grade you get in your Eng Lit GCSE

I've just finished High Fidelity for what must be the 50th time. It's still my ultimate comfort book, and one that I read in times of distress and it makes me feel much, much better. I really love Nick Hornby.

Haha, I'll deliver the essay to your inbox as soon as it's read, Mr.Bacon! As I added that one to the basket I was getting recommended pencils and school books to go with it! The books I read at English GCSE/A-Level were Pride & Prejudice and Handmaid's Tale, so I'll be steering clear of those as they're permanently etched into my head. I got a B and C respectively in both those, but I have no desire to reread them!

Good job you mentioned High Fidelity there, as I love the film and I'll be adding that book to my list.

13 hours ago, Keith Houchen said:

Not overkeen on Catcher In The Rye but I think it’s because edgelord bellends overrate it and I always associate them with it. Two of my favourites are A Confederacy Of Dunces by John Kennedy Toole and Vernon God Little by DBC Pierre. For me, they’re better “Outsider” novels with the first one being hilarious. If it’s real hilarity you’re after, anything by Cormac McCarthy has them rolling in the aisles, especially The Road. 

I've added those to the list too, cheers Keith! Yeah I've heard that Catcher has a rep with the same Joker avatar crowd who love Breaking Bad, Fight Club and Goodfellas but for all the wrong reasons. It's not put me off but I probably won't be reading any thesis' about it afterwards, at least none from the past two decades. The Road made my initial list too, seems like a laugh riot that one!

11 hours ago, Tommy! said:

Much like you I tried starting to read more stuff a few years back. I really enjoyed Fahrenheit 451, I wasn't sure going in and did it 3rd after 1984 & brave new world but it was really good. 

I had 1984 drafted on my initial list but I was slightly put off by all the COVID-conspiracy nuts rallying behind it like a bible of sorts. I'll get round to it eventually though, as it's always high in those ESSENTIAL BOOKS list, even the lists that predate 2020.

1 hour ago, Factotum said:

Would advise to maybe set yourself goals with this (re: Infinite Jest). I did a 100 pages a week, but possibly best to maybe do 50 if you're starting off into it. I say this as its a helluva book to get through and I think actually taking your time and reflecting on it is better than just trying to read through it. I know that sounded incredibly poncy ha but just an idea

Oh for sure, the thing looks bloody massive! I came across Infinite Jest after falling down a Wiki rabbit hole starting with In Bruges and somehow ending up there within a few articles. It does sounds right up my alley though, and probably the book I'm most looking forward to.

Thanks for all the help and advice everyone! I look forward to re-reading this post with melancholy in six months time as a stack of half-read books lies dormant in my cupboard, gathering dust and shame as a wasted £40 gift card purchase.

I've never been a fiction person when it comes to books. I prefer my first-hand autobiographies, essay collections, books that are simply an encyclopaedia of interesting thoughts and ideas, and books that are basically glorified top ten lists.

I turn 35 in April, and I've felt incredibly uncultured/dumb as a bag of hammers for a while now. Almost depressingly so (maybe one for the mental health thread, who knows?). Anyway, I've decided to make reading a priority this year when it comes to my downtime, and I used a £40 Christmas gift card and a £5 off coupon to grab some of the standards and classics, at least the ones that sound interesting. It's time to educate my dumb ass,

Bearing in mind that I've read next to fuck all for 35 years, here's the parcel of softbacks that should be arriving tomorrow:

- Infinite Jest

- Fahrenheit 451

- To Kill A Mocking Bird

- Of Mice And Men

- Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?

- Catcher In The Rye

I am incredibly excited to dig in, but please tell me how terrible these choices are, haha!

The UKFF has always been very star power > match quality when it comes to it's collective taste, and that's grand and all. However, you can't excel in star power without having the memorable in-ring performances to back it up. That's what makes an excellent pro wrestler; someone who is consistently good across the board. Can they walk the walk, talk the talk, look the part and read you a bit of Jean-Paul Sartre? Does Reigns tick all these boxes?

As someone who doesn't follow WWE, I only watch their ghastly product when a match or segment gets so much praise that I can't ignore it (see Sheamus vs Gunther, or Cody vs Rollins at Hell In A Cell). All I've heard about Reigns this year is Bloodline this, Bloodline that, oh and here's Brock driving a tractor. He gets rave reviews and acclaim for his part in the Bloodline storyline, so he's got the WWE Talk™ down to a pat. He looks the fucking business and looks like a modern pro wrestling superstar. Brilliant stuff. But when the bell rings, that's where his campaign fails. Besides Brock lifting up the ring at SummerSlam, and him selling for a rich white YouTuber in Saudi Arabia, where is the catalog of great in-ring performances that completes the complete product? From what I've seen, he's been less than captivating. I'm not saying in-ring is the be-all end-all (God forbid), but I am saying that a winning case for "Best Wrestler Of The Year" should be someone who excels in every department.

Reigns obviously came close in 2022, and he has had a great year by all accounts, but was he a rising tide that lifted all ships? Nope, but Moxley was. Moxley was AEW's dependable workhorse, who could be slotted into any program and any place on the card, and by fuck he'd make it memorable. He'd bust his ass in the ring to elevate a match to it's highest possible level, and he'd go toe-to-toe with the very best when it comes to interviews and mic work (and all while sounding like a natural human being in the process). He was there with AEW through thick and thin, and it benefitted the company as well as, and this is most important to me, benefiting the fans.

And that's why Mox is winning the vote right now over Reigns. He walks the walk (quite literally), talks the talk, looks the part AND he probably doesn't fucking know who Jean-Paul Sartre is but who are YOU to say that he doesn't? Go on, I dare you to ask him. Double dare you.