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How far should we push our kids


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How far should kids be pushed?

My eldest son took part in his first sports day of the school he is attending. I have drilled it into him being a winner is everything trying to be first in everything you do is the way forward. He loves the competition and hates losing and will always try his hardest maintains focus etc. Now he is only 5 and half he will be 6 in March. Myself and my wife both feel putting this winning mentality on him is doing him good. He won the running race and the balancing race at school and he got his first end of year school report back on Friday and he is excelling at school as well as he puts a lot of effort in and wants to beat everyone else.

 

Now there was only 3 races for foundation year as they are called. Running/balancing/Egg and spoon (the egg and the spoon race was a joke it was a tennis ball on a tea spoon and although my son was not happy about not winning I reassured him that the race was rubbish because of the tea spoon tennis ball combination.

 

He got a present on Thursday nothing major his favourite magazine and something little to play with and we are taking him to MCdonalds today to praise him for his effort in the sports day and the school year report.

 

The school has other ideas though. Insisting that it is the taking part that counts and everyone got a shitty little sticker saying well done. Fuck the taking part, he is in it to win and he tried his hardest and won. I was proud and how much effort he put in and thought he should be praised by the teachers etc for winning but this is not the case. How can our country continue to thrive with sporting greats and good political leaders or the intelligent types if there is no competition for it. Why have sports day at all for these young kids if they don

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What if they're shit at something you push them in? Punishment beatings? I don't think Sport should be competitive until the age of 9 or so. Should be about loving your sport and learning technical skills in a pressure free environment at that age. There's nothing sadder and cringeworthy than watching the adults being far more competitive than the children enjoying themselves at kids football.

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There's a field behind my house, and teams of little kids occasionally play football on it. I remember once, sitting out there reading in the sun, and listening to some bloke (presumably their coach) yelling at them during training. FOR FUCK'S SAKE, COME ON! and all that, like he was some drill sgt for convicted rapists. They appeared to be that age where football matches are just twenty-two little kids all running in one big swarm after the ball. There was literally two hours of Fuck this and Cunt that. I can't imagine there was much fun involved.

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No offence PCC Lackey (yes, I've intentionally omitted the '#1' because I know how much it will wind you up with your competitive nature), but that OP sounds mental. Of course the school should be emphasising the 'taking part' aspect - they're 5 years old. It's one thing talking in philosophical terms about the country lacking a winning mentality or whatever, but for schools, I'd say it's more important to create well-adjusted, emotionally mature young adults. If the school drills it into them that 'it's all about winning', as you seem to be alluding to, you're going to end up with a lot of disappointed kids going home upset at the end of that sports day. At that age, there's fuck all you can do in meaningful terms in terms of training and preparing for sports, so really all you're doing is rewarding the kid whose arms and legs have grown the fastest.

 

I fucking loved sports as a kid too, but I had zero natural athletic ability. You have to get used to the fact that some kids are more naturally gifted than you, and learn to play to your own strengths and enjoy it for the sake of it. It's great if your son is doing well at sports now, but at some point he's going to come up against kids who are more physically gifted than him. If all he's been conditioned to believe by that stage is that the only pride is in winning, then I think you'll have a fair few tantrums/breakdowns to look forward to.

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The school has other ideas though. Insisting that it is the taking part that counts and everyone got a shitty little sticker saying well done... Why have sports day at all for these young kids if they don
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How far should kids be pushed?

My eldest son took part in his first sports day of the school he is attending. I have drilled it into him being a winner is everything trying to be first in everything you do is the way forward. He loves the competition and hates losing and will always try his hardest maintains focus etc. Now he is only 5 and half he will be 6 in March. Myself and my wife both feel putting this winning mentality on him is doing him good. He won the running race and the balancing race at school and he got his first end of year school report back on Friday and he is excelling at school as well as he puts a lot of effort in and wants to beat everyone else.

 

Now there was only 3 races for foundation year as they are called. Running/balancing/Egg and spoon (the egg and the spoon race was a joke it was a tennis ball on a tea spoon and although my son was not happy about not winning I reassured him that the race was rubbish because of the tea spoon tennis ball combination.

 

He got a present on Thursday nothing major his favourite magazine and something little to play with and we are taking him to MCdonalds today to praise him for his effort in the sports day and the school year report.

 

The school has other ideas though. Insisting that it is the taking part that counts and everyone got a shitty little sticker saying well done. Fuck the taking part, he is in it to win and he tried his hardest and won. I was proud and how much effort he put in and thought he should be praised by the teachers etc for winning but this is not the case. How can our country continue to thrive with sporting greats and good political leaders or the intelligent types if there is no competition for it. Why have sports day at all for these young kids if they don't mean anything what was the point.

 

I just want to get other people's views on how far you should push your kids. I am not going to start pushing him to do something he doesn't like but sports is all around him. If there is no sports on the telly the wife is watching it. We play tennis, golf, football, basketball, we fight we have races and my 3 year old son joins in as well. I am trying to set a winning mentality in my children that they can build on. I wouldn't push them into something they didn't like but they do like sport and we all get enjoyment out of it but surely it is all about the winning.

 

 

He's five years old mate..FIVE!!!

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I hate people who have that winning mentality at such a young age. My only real anecdotal examples of this come from football. The local team I play for, I help out training the younger kids and I go to watch matches that my younger brother and cousins play in. And the thing I hate about under 14 and down football is the teams who are so obsessed with winning they make the big, bullish lump on their team their main player. 9 times out of 10 he is shockingly shit, but is just much bigger and stronger than everyone else and manages to bulldoze his way through a defence without any guile or flair. While the more technically gifted players get pushed to the sidelines because some under 12's coach wants to think he is Jose Mourinho and its all about winning, instead of nurturing the young lads talents. I often see cases where by the time lads get to under 16 or so, they have become so disillusioned with the game (because of the way they have been treated at younger levels) that they just dont enjoy it anymore and they no longer desire playing. Its heartbreaking at times.

 

Personally, I think under 12's and down shouldnt be competitive. It should be about learning the game more. Develop their skills, instilling a team based mentality, and encouraging kids to play with flair, freedom and no fear of losing/costing the team. Teaching kids how to pass and move, use the space wisely, work on support play and keeping possession, not just lump it up to the big lad up front. As they get older they can start to play competitive games, but when they are younger I think it does more harm than good.

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What if they're shit at something you push them in? Punishment beatings? I don't think Sport should be competitive until the age of 9 or so. Should be about loving your sport and learning technical skills in a pressure free environment at that age. There's nothing sadder and cringeworthy than watching the adults being far more competitive than the children enjoying themselves at kids football.

 

 

I don't push them into anything though but as soon as they are interested I encourage them to be the best at it. Some kids are getting signed up to football clubs at 7-8 years old and I am not going to be one of those dads who stands at the side of a pitch or something like that telling the referee I am going to kick his arse. I just thinks kids should be helped into greatness. Rory Mcllory was hiting golf balls from the age of two he was encouraged not told hang on there boy wait till your nine same as most sports stars the idea of wating until they are 9 would mean no Messi's, Ronaldos, Woods, Michael Jordans etc. I am not going to be forcing either of my boys into any sports but they love all kind of sports at the minute and they love winning.

 

No offence PCC Lackey (yes, I've intentionally omitted the '#1' because I know how much it will wind you up with your competitive nature), but that OP sounds mental. Of course the school should be emphasising the 'taking part' aspect - they're 5 years old. It's one thing talking in philosophical terms about the country lacking a winning mentality or whatever, but for schools, I'd say it's more important to create well-adjusted, emotionally mature young adults. If the school drills it into them that 'it's all about winning', as you seem to be alluding to, you're going to end up with a lot of disappointed kids going home upset at the end of that sports day. At that age, there's fuck all you can do in meaningful terms in terms of training and preparing for sports, so really all you're doing is rewarding the kid whose arms and legs have grown the fastest.

 

I fucking loved sports as a kid too, but I had zero natural athletic ability. You have to get used to the fact that some kids are more naturally gifted than you, and learn to play to your own strengths and enjoy it for the sake of it. It's great if your son is doing well at sports now, but at some point he's going to come up against kids who are more physically gifted than him. If all he's been conditioned to believe by that stage is that the only pride is in winning, then I think you'll have a fair few tantrums/breakdowns to look forward to.

 

I still think it is about winning though. When I was growing up we had competition and you were taught it was best to win. It's not my fault the fat kid eats to much cake and can't run around the the field quickly because his pancakes for brekfeast are repeating on him. Winners are bred by making them that winners. I don't belittle my son if he doesn't win at something I tell him it was a great effort he was unlcuky and he probably won't be the most natraully gifted sports person although for there age both of my boys are above average in size. I think a winning mentalitly is created from a young age and not from 9 on wards. I was asking the question was I right to beleive this and i can see so far that people think the taking part is what counts. When the fuck did UK become so soft.

 

Steve Justice My Dad and Mum never pushed me at anyhting really and I was always shit at maths thanks for showing an interest though, I knew someone would care.

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I hate people who have that winning mentality at such a young age. My only real anecdotal examples of this come from football. The local team I play for, I help out training the younger kids and I go to watch matches that my younger brother and cousins play in. And the thing I hate about under 14 and down football is the teams who are so obsessed with winning they make the big, bullish lump on their team their main player. 9 times out of 10 he is shockingly shit, but is just much bigger and stronger than everyone else and manages to bulldoze his way through a defence without any guile or flair. While the more technically gifted players get pushed to the sidelines because some under 12's coach wants to think he is Jose Mourinho and its all about winning, instead of nurturing the young lads talents. I often see cases where by the time lads get to under 16 or so, they have become so disillusioned with the game (because of the way they have been treated at younger levels) that they just dont enjoy it anymore and they no longer desire playing. Its heartbreaking at times.

 

I think a lot of the problems with British football as opposed to football from abroad is evidenced there. Instead of concentrating on technical ability and using smaller pitches and smaller goals in order to teach lads how to create space and passing skill, they're encouraged to just hoof it up to the lad who's started puberty early and he'll score about 10 goals due to sheer size and strength and young players aren't nurtured correctly.

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I hate people who have that winning mentality at such a young age. My only real anecdotal examples of this come from football. The local team I play for, I help out training the younger kids and I go to watch matches that my younger brother and cousins play in. And the thing I hate about under 14 and down football is the teams who are so obsessed with winning they make the big, bullish lump on their team their main player. 9 times out of 10 he is shockingly shit, but is just much bigger and stronger than everyone else and manages to bulldoze his way through a defence without any guile or flair. While the more technically gifted players get pushed to the sidelines because some under 12's coach wants to think he is Jose Mourinho and its all about winning, instead of nurturing the young lads talents. I often see cases where by the time lads get to under 16 or so, they have become so disillusioned with the game (because of the way they have been treated at younger levels) that they just dont enjoy it anymore and they no longer desire playing. Its heartbreaking at times.

 

Personally, I think under 12's and down shouldnt be competitive. It should be about learning the game more. Develop their skills, instilling a team based mentality, and encouraging kids to play with flair, freedom and no fear of losing/costing the team. Teaching kids how to pass and move, use the space wisely, work on support play and keeping possession, not just lump it up to the big lad up front. As they get older they can start to play competitive games, but when they are younger I think it does more harm than good.

 

Yeah great argument for football or team based games. What about golf, swimming, running, tennis when should these become competitive?

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Yeah great argument for football or team based games. What about golf, swimming, running, tennis when should these become competitive?

 

I feel that they should also still be more focused on development of skills until age of 10 or so.

 

A friend of mine's daughter who's 7 or so was recently playing in a fun Mini-Tennis tournament in Wrexham Tennis Centre. She lost to this lad, and the lad's father was sitting behind my friend effing and blinding because his son dropped points to "a fucking shit girl". It's pathetic.

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Rory Mcllory was hiting golf balls from the age of two he was encouraged not told hang on there boy wait till your nine same as most sports stars the idea of wating until they are 9 would mean no Messi's, Ronaldos, Woods, Michael Jordans etc.

 

Are you being willfully stupid or just plain trolling? Where are people saying don't encourage your children to participate and even excel in sports? Making winning the focus of everything at a young age is generally counter productive long term. However, that doesn't mean that you don't encourage children to pariticpate in, practice and play sports it just means you don't make winning the prime focus.

 

I don't belittle my son if he doesn't win at something I tell him it was a great effort...

 

So the difference between you doing that for your son and the school doing it for others is what?

 

The school has other ideas though. Insisting that it is the taking part that counts and everyone got a shitty little sticker saying well done.
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Yeah great argument for football or team based games. What about golf, swimming, running, tennis when should these become competitive?

 

I feel that they should also still be more focused on development of skills until age of 10 or so.

 

A friend of mine's daughter who's 7 or so was recently playing in a fun Mini-Tennis tournament in Wrexham Tennis Centre. She lost to this lad, and the lad's father was sitting behind my friend effing and blinding because his son dropped points to "a fucking shit girl". It's pathetic.

 

I am not in that category of shitness of a parent though. I am trying to get at the need to push them and show them that winning is what is needed to be done if they get beat by someone who is more athletic thats fair enough some people are just gifted. I just still feel things should be competitive if your in a running race your not doing it for shits and giggles your doing it to win. Surely there is no development in running as children get older they will evidently develop better to make them quicker and leave others behind but winning is still the be all and end all. I also hate parents effing and blidning and all that but still encourage my kids to be the best.

 

What happens if a child develops quicker so before the age of 10 are they held back?

 

If a kid is gifted say at football he has skill, style, flair and is only 8 but can leave other players behind with pace and skill should he or she be held back till they are 10 or encouraged to win?

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