Supremo

If you want your WWE to be sterile, robotic, emotionless shit then you’re in for a treat with the Network. There’s a solid couple of decades worth of programming like that for you to binge. I much prefer this new stuff, where people actually feel real, with real emotion, talking like real people, randomly shouting, “shit!” And even if Samantha’s crying is fake (I don’t think it is, but whatever), since when has that mattered? It’s pro-wrestling. That’s the point. Everything is fake, and it’s at its best when you get caught up and can’t tell for sure. Cody didn’t really pin Roman’s shoulders down. That was fake too. Still fucking incredible. I was practically in tears in my living room. Imagine being that close to it, live! I’d have been sobbing alongside her! When he gave his mum the belt! Fucking hell. Close the industry down. We’ve peaked.

Look, lads. You can dislike her if you want, but just know that you’re wrong. Extremely wrong.

They were right to have Cody lose at Wrestlemania 39. I've always thought that.

I just find the whole thing really sad. They were on such a roll since the start of the year. It was bad enough the previous two times Punk’s bullshit derailed them, but he doesn’t even work there anymore and it’s happening again! Make’s Copeland’s “just enjoy the wrestling!” speech look stupid too. One week later and they’re now throwing shit themselves. Imagine giving Ariel Helwani any type of satisfaction. For shame.

Triple H’s dick must be aching for how much it’s been sucked this weekend. Gargano and Ciampa’s cosplay tipped it over the edge for me. What a pair of fucking losers. Forty years of Wrestlemania and I can’t think of anyone who looked as lame as those two, coming out earnestly dressed as Hunter and Shawn. Like Make-A-Wish kids or competition winners. As if they weren’t dead in the water on a weekly basis already. Pair of whoppers. Hope you enjoyed your Mania moment. Can’t imagine they’ll ever get one again. Worthless chumps. Also, fair play to everyone licking Hunter’s bum, I get it, it’s all about the game and how you play it. But surely it must be in the back of your mind that at any moment a report could come out that implicates him and makes those publicly noshing him off look extremely stupid. Anyway, it was an okay show. Nothing massively offensive bar the Usos match, but very little that stood out as above average, either. Probably one of the worst Night One shows we’ve had. They usually peak on Night One and then fizzle out on Night Two. Hopefully that’s not the case here. The only thing I’ll likely remember or watch back from this show will be Zayn vs. Gunther, which was fantastic. Amazing entrance from Sami, great story told, Gunther looked incredible, and then a finish that got me teary eyed with a lump in my throat. Proper pro-wrestling, that. Babyface you love making the big, impossible comeback. Love it. Other quick thoughts… Crowd were a bit shit. Maybe it was the weather. Did they mention if it was cold? Opener was fine. My wife sat down and watched it. At one point she asked why - if the women are now treated equally - they still wear outfits that ride up their arse, which isn’t the case for the men. I didn’t have an answer. Ladder match was mindless fun. I was happy to see Truth win. Saw people complaining about A Town Down Under, but I don’t get that at all. They’ve turned into a fun, entertaining pair of idiots. Happy to see them featured even more. Best thing Theory has ever done. Just admit it. My heart goes out to all those tribal maniacs who’ve forever claimed that The Usos are better than The Young Bucks, always arguing that the only move The Bucks have is a Superkick, which they spam to death. It was like this garbage Brother vs. Brother match existed exclusively to make those people look dumb. Dreadful. Endless Superkicks, interspersed with bad amateur dramatics. SHOUTING THE PLOT. Total shite. Probably even worse than Matt and Jeff at Mania 25. Hate when they use NFL players. Don’t know who these men are. Don’t care. Shocked at how bad their physiques are considering they’re supposed to be top level athletes. Jade, Bianca and Naomi looked the absolute business together. Most telegenic group of all time. Gargano and Ciampa should just quit the industry after watching that entrance. When I saw how long was left of this show after Sami and Gunther, I assumed there was another match before the main event. When the main event started, I assumed the post-show press conference must be tacked on to the end. Couldn’t believe my eyes when they managed to fill nearly an hour of time! Fair play though. It took a while to get going, but ended up being a perfect Attitude Era scrap at the end. Set things up nicely for tonight. Rock’s entrance was great, but whoever was directing it should be shot into the sun. Half of it we couldn’t even see what was happening because of that long focus on the fire, as if Gangrel was gonna pop up with some Cheese and Onion. For a minute, I thought The Rock was going to wrestle in his flairs. Would have been more criminal than when Punk came back in those long tights against Darby. Rock looked good. Think being in a tag helped things, but he still looked great considering his age and how long he’s been out. Maybe there’s at least one or two big singles matches still to come. There’s no denying the huge reaction when Roman accidentally Speared him. You could smell the money. Cody needs to hire Chad Gable as his coach. Maybe Chad can advise against Cody doing the triple Cross Roads, aimlessly stepping backwards after the second, before hitting the third. Cost you again, you muppet! Lose a Mania match once that way, shame on me, do it again, shame on you! Don’t know if it was a new product or the weather (did they mention it was cold?), but either way Roman’s hair looked majestic by the end! Like a sexy lion! Aslan from Narnia! Looking forward to tonight. More convinced than ever they’ll do the right thing and crown Cody in a huge crescendo. Will be punching the air if they do. Will die laughing if they don’t.

This is by far the best idea. Anything else just seems insane to me. If they release the actual footage, it’s just gonna be this, isn’t it?

Shocked there hasn’t been more chat about this. Five years ago, in the dark days, it’d be the most interesting and exciting thing to happen all year. It’s mad. So unlike anything WWE usually do. Was the whole thing planned, including the blood, dangerously crashing through the chairs, and very-real-looking MMA slams? Did they clue anyone in beforehand? Were some security guards supposed to break them up, but forgot? Feels like a work someone came up with at the last second, which came off the tracks almost immediately. If that whole thing went exactly as planned and AJ isn’t legitimately furious at the end then that’s the best acting of his career and the best thing he’s done since the Boneyard match. F-bombs from a dweeb like AJ Styles! Crazy! Guess we should be thankful though. I reckon there are other words AJ Styles might say when legitimately angry that wouldn’t have gone down so well.

Rock and Cody. Sami and Chad. Dragon Lee, Carlito and Andrade. You’d think Hunter has some type of blind spot for being a snide prick, stealing spots. Road Dogg’s probably gonna be Rey’s partner by the time Wrestlemania actually starts, despite not even shagging Ryan Shamrock.

The maddest thing is that some form of Rey Mysterio vs. Santos Escobar has been penciled in for Mania for about eight months. A proper slow burn. And yet, in the final stretch it’s as if Vince Russo has become script consultant. Whole thing’s a rushed mess.

Wasn’t going to bother with last night’s show. There’s too much stuff to watch and still have a relatively normal human existence. Saw this though. Fucking hell. Floods of tears. I think he’s the best babyface in the business today.

Probably easier to appreciate the grind when you’re divorced and have no-one to go home to. I saw Hunter was back talking bollocks about Chapters and The Story Continuing on Raw. Hilarious. If Cody doesn’t win that belt I won’t even be mad this time. I’ll just marvel at the sheer ineptitude. Surely they wouldn’t do it again? Just edge people until the end of time? Oh well. Could be worse.

Hunter didn’t even want Will Ospreay or Okada anyway, so joke’s on them. He’s not mad. Please don’t put in the paper that he’s mad.

Renaissance Era would’ve came twenty years earlier if they’d pushed those damn cruiserweights.

The beauty of DM Hunk is in how crap it is, combined with how proud he is every time he says it. It’s a great character for 2024. There’s something really entertaining about a rubbish troll, coming up with the lamest bait, desperate for a reaction. Pure screaming into the void energy.

Best news coming out of that Helwani interview was him mentioning that the injury isn’t as bad as last time and shouldn’t keep him out as long. Best for business, the product and Punk’s mental health if he’s not forced to sit at and stew on stuff. Hopefully he’s back soon. If I wasn’t so desperate to see DM Hunk raise gold on Sunday, I reckon there’d be a huge pop if Punk took off that arm brace and walloped Drew with it, costing him the match. But yeah. Lord, giving me the confidence of CM Punk in 2024, using his most recent injury to explain how WWE’s medical care is so fantastic, and vastly superior to AEW’s. Both he and Helwani nearly suffocating for the size of the elephant in the room, where -you know - Punk spent millions of dollars and lost his best friend in order to go to court and prove WWE’s medical care nearly killed him. So spectacularly full of shit. The worker’s worker.

Copeland listing all the guys he wants to wrestle just made me sad. Does anyone truly believe he’ll get around to wrestling even half of them? The history of AEW doesn’t fill me with optimism. Never has a company left so many dream matches on the table. Still waiting for Kenny Omega vs. Darby Allin.

Supposedly Dax Harwood also did a #StandUpForAEW, just-enjoy-wrestling speech after the TV taping ended. I would LOVE IT (Kevin Keegan-style) if Punk ends up falling out with Dax over this. The true Punker experience. I’ll only speak about CMFTR merchandise if a lawyer is present.

I wish they hadn’t sent Copeland out there to do the Paul Heyman motivational rah rah speech. Felt really desperate and tragic to react to Punk’s criticisms like that. Honestly, I didn’t even understand what Copeland was going on about at first. Thought he was talking about stuff that I missed on Collision, only for the penny to drop that he was referring to Punk ripping into them on Helwani’s show. Urgh. Why bother addressing it at all. You’re on a great run since the start of the year. Just ignore it and keep doing what you’re doing. It also didn’t help that it was Copeland doing it, who’s only been there for a few months! Remember when Stone Cold walked out on WWE and they got The Rock to do the big speech slagging him off? The equivalent would have been sending Booker T out there to do that speech instead. If they had to do it, Eddie Kingston should’ve gone out there and said, “who gives a fuck what a hypocritical nutcase thinks,” before he ran down the card and told us everything he was excited about. Ultimately, the whole thing set them up massively for a fall. If you’re going to try and babyface yourself and put the company over like that, don’t do it on the same show that Chris Jericho is getting some of the worst, “oh, fuck off,” heat of all time, whilst Billy Gunn and Jay White are having a Worst Match of the Year contender. What on Earth went on in that Billy Gunn match? Who agented that? Did they think the whole thing was happening in picture-in-picture, during an ad break? Weirdest psychology imaginable. “Billy will smash Jay to fuck for about six months, then we’ll rush to a DQ finish.” It was like the last four to six months of re-building goodwill hadn’t happened! Rubbish! However, those two glaring negatives aside, it was a mostly good show. Fun matches with Ospreay and Danielson. Still seems crazy to have the type of talent to just chuck those two lads out as a one-two punch combo to start your free TV. Danielson bringing back the Yes chant is interesting. You wonder if even he is aware how much bigger of a star he could be. It’s always been admirable that he didn’t rest on his laurels and wanted to try new things, but fucking hell mate. You have the ability to be one of the best top babyfaces of all time. Maybe give it a go for six months and see if it improves attendances even a little bit. I love Danielson, he’s the best ever, but it’s crazy frustrating the way he constantly campaigns to not be as big a star as he has the potential to be, happy to do constant jobs and never win Titles. They should stage an intervention with that kid from Summerslam 92. “Bryan, you’re going to start beating everyone clean and winning belts, whether you want to or not!” Trent turning heel was brilliant. Felt truly momentous after five years together. Bonus points for having Sue out there to sell her disappointment. I’m delighted Orange Cassidy has something big to sink his teeth into again. Ideally, this somehow brings back Danhausen too. Gone but not forgotten. Very nice, very evil, very missed. I love The Young Bucks. This new act is brilliant. Fuck all the way off with the Jack Perry references though. Matt shouting, “yo Scapegoat, love your work,” during the entrance and then telling Sue, “cry me a river.” Everyone. I’m begging you. Please move on from this. I fear it’ll be the year 2045 and everyone will still be referencing Brawl Out and Brawl In. Get over it! Toni Storm was a hoot at commentary. She’s at her best just trying to pop Taz. Loved her reaction to Thunder Rosa winning. Freezing in disbelief. They should completely change the NXT Shocked Face Curriculum based on that. That’s how you do it! Phenomenal closing segment. Any doubts I had about Swerve’s moment passing were quickly dismissed by his fantastic work here. Great brawl, with an amazing visual of him signing the contract in his own blood. Has anyone ever done that before? I know we’ve had loads of guys signing with their opponent’s blood, but I can’t remember anyone ever being such a nutcase as to use their own. Clearly, Swerve is at his best when he’s a fucking psychopath. Hopefully they make the PPV match some type of No DQ. However, for as good as Swerve and Joe were here, they were still overshadowed because the true highlight of the whole show was Willow Nightingale! Finally giving her some proper promo time? Everyone instantly falling in love with her? Over like a motherfucker? About fucking time. Love her so much. Build your entire company around this woman! The definition of a babyface.

I’ll always adore the way they took the piss on BTE, explaining why Hangman didn’t go out when Punk started slagging him off. I swear this was Punk’s real problem with AEW. He met people who could be even bigger sarcastic pricks. Lads who live for this nonsense.

Another really good episode. Great opening promo. Rock is still leagues ahead of everyone in terms of aura and presentation, but to their credit they’ve done a great job trying to get Seth and Roman as close to that level as possible. Seth in particular. Now that we can view this build up as a whole, it’s probably the best thing he’s done in years. Seeing him confidently challenge The Rock from the crowd, this is the coolest and most over he’s felt in this awful, messy character. Rock showing clips of the kids crying on social media. What a prick. I love it. These sell out crowds, with the wide shots showing people practically hanging from the roof. Man, I wish I knew how to give AEW some of this good fortune. It adds so much to the product. Feels, looks and sounds so big time. Still makes me smile the way Rock keeps taking credit, too. Proper shithouse behaviour. Loved the vignettes on this show. Sami and Chad doing Rocky was cheesy fun and Drew’s eulogy was spectacular. I’m almost rooting as much for DM Hunk this weekend as I am Cody Rhodes. I think Chad is turning on Sami. I’ll never forgive him. Worst part of the show was that Becky/Rhea footage from the MMA Hour. Was rubbish in real time, was equally as rubbish in highlight form. I wouldn’t have bothered putting it on the show. Crap work all round. Roman missing his time cue in that opening segment and interrupting his own promo about a second or two before Seth’s music actually hit should have been awkward and embarrassing. Pat McAfee saved it though. The silliness of him claiming that Roman was interrupted by the, “gust of wind” that always occurs just before Seth’s music hits. You have to admire the balls to say something so stupid. Genuinely made me laugh. It speaks to how lost this company was for so long that it still feels so novel for them to just send Ricochet out there to have a daft, fun match every week. I’m still not convinced he can ever become something great, but these wild exhibitions are a highlight each week. Another brilliant, basic, meat and potatoes heat angle to close the show. I don’t know if it’s Cody, The Rock or both of them, but whoever has determined the direction of this feud the last two weeks has absolutely nailed it. Proper pro-wrestling. I can’t remember the last time I felt anything for the Seth Rollins character, but when he gave The Rock that shit-eating grin, before the Cody reveal? That was ace. Real punch-the-air stuff. Fair play to Roman too. He put a shift in all night. You could sense he knew how overshadowed he was, so he was out there putting in more effort than he has in months. Going so fast that he tripped over the desk that was lying on the floor! I can’t remember the last time he moved so quickly out there! That horrible, guttural Mob boss screaming he does whilst murdering people is stellar work as well. Just top drawer stuff across the board. The audible gasps from the white hot crowd when Cody tried to do a Rock Bottom through the table. The brilliant cinematography when Jey Uso went brawling in the back, only to fly back out like he’d been shot out of a cannon, with The Rock revealing himself. The Rock showing some arse, selling his bollocks off when Cody mounted some offence. He even took a bump and didn’t burst into dust! Felt like a kid watching this whole thing unfold. When it’s good it’s great. Also, Michael Cole’s call at the end was amazing, asking how the fuck you stop these two bohemoths. Raising their belts to close the show. Top, top baddies. A seemingly impossible mountain for our heroes to climb on the biggest show of all time. Fucking yes. Home run. It’s nothing short of bonkers how they turned this whole thing around from the disaster we got in January. It’s still a mess, but what a hot, wild mess. I’m absolutely buzzing for Mania. Best time of year even during those dark days when they couldn’t do anything right. When they’re on fire though? Promised land stuff.

Almost funny that the day after CM Punk describes him as being too nice to be a proper boss, Tony goes against everything the company has stood for in terms of seeing contracts through in their entirety, suddenly sacking people out of nowhere. No more Mr. Nice Guy! He’ll stop hugging people, next! The only plus side is that this might mean he tells Matt Hardy to fuck off. But yeah. Now Dalton Castle no longer has The Boys and yet again this is ultimately Jack Perry’s fault. Crazy how one dumb remark to camera in a throwaway Pre-Show match has became the ultimate Nexus Event in the Pro-wrestling Cinematic Universe.

The most fascinating part was listening to the mental gymnastics he used to explain why his shoot comments and insider references are so much more sophisticated, and therefore justified. Saying with a straight face that “the magic of CM Punk,” was in how he always kept it within the fiction of the storyline, created a level of ambiguity, and he knew where to draw the line. ”Bucks,” can also be in reference to currency, you see. So the, “counterfeit bucks,” line was actually really clever and not a childish, petty dig. Not sure I caught the clever sophistication or ambiguity of when he was shouting about Hangman Adam Page being unable to sell action figures or pop ratings. Must have been above me. Also, in regards to knowing where to draw the line, I reckon mumbling something obscure about worker’s rights pales in comparison to challenging your promo partner to say the name of the former owner of the company, currently under investigation for sex trafficking. Would've been interesting if he was challenged in any way whatsoever, but true to form I think Ariel’s entire response to all this was to describe Punk’s comments on Monday as, “killer line, bro.” The real journalist there, whose entire approach to this interview was, “why are you so brilliant?”

“Stop using insider references, going off script and allowing the audience glimpses behind the curtain!” shouts man who made a career out of using insider references, going off script and allowing the audience glimpses behind the curtain. He’s a fascinating, hypocritical head case. I could listen to him talk for hours. Pro-wrestling is infinitely better for having him in it. If Tony Khan has to respond, he should just release the security footage from Wembley. Call me a cynic, but I don’t believe that footage will back up Punk’s claims here, acting as if he calmly strolled up to Jack Perry and politely asked, “excuse me young Jack, may I please enquire as to why you’re doing this silly internet stuff on TV.” But yeah. I wonder how my HR department would react if I explained giving someone a bit of a choke was me being professional.

Gutted it’s at the Hydro. Only 14,000 odd tickets means they’ll be priced crazy high. Does Glasgow not have a stadium they could have used? Bodes well for Drew winning at Mania though. Get this man the run he deserved before Covid ruined everything! Justice for DM Hunk! Punk vs. Drew in fucking Glasgow though? Punk going full heel? Nuclear heat.