Keith Houchen

Isn't Amanda Mealing the one who was stalked on Twitter by some fruit loop from Coventry?

An old friend of mine, Scott Rand, made a return to darts after a lay off of 12 years. He was easily the most naturally gifted player I've ever seen and in his first season back he was winning a few MOM awards for Warwickshire (after being called up after only a few games in Super League). He's now started on the PDC circuit after getting some sponsorship and at the weekend he beat Terry Jenkins, Steve Hine and Steve Beaton.

He has already made enough prize money to qualify for the UK open (after only three tournaments) and although I can't see him winning it this time, I think this time next year he'll have a PDC title win under his belt and will go from strength to strength. I've probably just cursed his career but there you go!

Four Lions.

Excellent stuff. The dialogue is typical Morris, not a single word is wasted or is filler. There are also a couple of genuinely touching moments, such as when SPOILER - Highlight the black box to read

Some of the main characters were brilliantly assembled, you really feel sorry for them, they aren't evil, just really really stupid.

JLM hasn't even posted in this thread so I have no idea what you're on about.

He is on about the Rap Battle, which either me or Butch were obviously going to win so the paid member mafia put a stop to it.

I'll give this a whirl, Vito, great idea. I'm not sure when I'll have the time but I'll certainly have a pop. I will more than likely use Garageband and guitars, plus I may use my winning rap skillz if you're unlucky.

It would also seem that in the months since Griffin was on Question Time the BNP's membership hasn't "went through the roof"

That's because they stopped accepting new members due to them being forced to stop being a white only party.

 

The police, who we pay for via council tax, not doing their job correctly.

Don't they pay council tax too? Isn't that like going up to a BBC employee and saying "I pay your wages" when they do as well.

Of course they pay it too, what's your point though?

You made a total distinction between the police and council tax payers, I was showing how there is no such distinction. Nothing to worry about, after all, I'm one of THEM aren't it.

They wouldn't have used those exact words but yes, there would have been a rise in membership for the party you voted for.

Nice attempt to try and restart old shenanigans there lad

 

Not at all old chap, if anything it was a back handed compliment about how you more than likely know that voting for them was misguided and that you have learned from the experience. All I was doing was explaining exactly why there hasn't been a rise in membership.

That's because they stopped accepting new members due to them being forced to stop being a white only party.

And if that hadn't happened there would have been shitloads of people saying "fucking Hell, that guys right! Sign me up!" after the QT appearance?

They wouldn't have used those exact words but yes, there would have been a rise in membership for the party you voted for.

It would also seem that in the months since Griffin was on Question Time the BNP's membership hasn't "went through the roof"

That's because they stopped accepting new members due to them being forced to stop being a white only party.

The police, who we pay for via council tax, not doing their job correctly.

Don't they pay council tax too? Isn't that like going up to a BBC employee and saying "I pay your wages" when they do as well.

Ah its all subjective dear boy, I thought it was quite funny.

Indeed it is, my love. I was getting at how there has to be some rules, pedantic annoying prick that I am.

Surely a rule in humour is that it has to be funny?

Based on the various posts on here and the fact we can only vote for one, with the importance of Doltishness can we have 1st, 2nd and 3rd prizes?

I did come up with an proportional representation idea earlier in the year with a set amount of "Banned days" then they get dished out based on the percentage of votes but lets face it, that ain't going to happen as it is too much like hard work and who wants that?

Good point, Chest, POTY does crop up a lot but I guess it must be hard to keep tabs on. Maybe we can Match Of The Day it up a little this year with a post of the month competition (as chosen by paid members, voted for by all) then have a post of the season from all the winners. What do you think, Rick?

He got on the ballot for only one reason as far as I can tell, and that was because he nominated a couple of his own posts for post of the year.

Seriously? What a shallow prick.

 

That's what everyone said. Then Supremo responded with 'Awe but come on, they were awesome posts!' and was immediately forgiven. Fantastic.

Great post, Rick!

Out of that list I'd go for Duane but Ron Simmons and Snake .....Plissken... both out do him in the dull stakes.

He got on the ballot for only one reason as far as I can tell, and that was because he nominated a couple of his own posts for post of the year.

Seriously? What a shallow prick.

Went to the Warwickshire V Cheshire game the other week and had a pint with my old mate Steve "The Muffin Man" Hine, he told me that John Gwynne said to him that he hoped that he plays Andy "Pieman" Smith soon on Sky as they both bring a plate of muffins and pies to the Sky team when they play. Gwynne was hoping for dinner and dessert apparantly.

Natalie J Robb would get it

She was never going to be Queen of Harchester with Lynda Block being there but she looks like she'd be a right goer.

I've joined the Waterboy Bandwagon - I now click on this thread every time I see your name on the "Last Post" bit.

 

I was not disappointed.

Yep, save me a seat on that wagon too!

In other words, you shagged a thick munter and have enough shame about it as it is. Keep 'em coming, Waterboy, these tales are great.

I'm stealing that!

Keith as you seem to know everything from being around the Darts circuit, and I've seen a few of the players on the last few pages you've mentioned you don't like. Have you got a definitive list of who are cunts and who are really nice guys from the Darting world?

 

It's fine if you don't want to upset anybody, just wondering really.

 

Thanks

I guess I should start by saying that it is only my opinion, they all probably think I'm a cunt too and who am I to argue?

The game has changed a lot over the years with emphasis on a more individual attitude. I know a few players who would cut it on the PDC scene but you need sponsorship. Without it you've no chance. With that in mind, most of the nicest guys are those who, in my opinion, know that exhibition nights are bread and butter for them and always have time for people as they know they'll be asked back to do another. Wayne Mardle is a gem on the exhibition circuit, he's not the best but he's a great entertainer and gets good turnouts from his nights, that's one of the reasons why he gets the wild card on the Premier League I guess.

The genuinely nicest guys I've met and played against are Dennis Priestley, Barney, Dennis Smith, Eric Bristow, Martin Adams and Steve Beaton. You tend to see the same faces at tournaments so you get to know them over time and they all seem like decent guys.

The biggest wanker is Phil Taylor, Hankey second. Chris Johns was a tit as well. I got knocked out at the(I think) Staffs Open one year and thus chalked the next game which was a quarter final between Chris Johns and Steve Beaton (I travelled up with Beaton for this one so I clearly wanted him to win). Johns was playing up to his crowd and stepping in Beatons way as he was warming up, much to the delight of his mates. Just before they threw for the bull, I said to Johns "What's your initials mate"? He looked at me a bit gone out (as he had his name on his shirt) "I need your initials for the board mate, so you know which score is yours". "Erm...CJ" he said. Beaton smiled and winked at me, I jizzed in my pants and The Bronze Adonis went on to win the tournament.

Basically, none. there is nothing in the rulebook about having a permitted amount of time in which you have to throw. If it is an independant tournament, ie a brewery sponsored one, they can introduce whatever rules they want (One US non PDC tournament brought in a time limit to discourage Snyder from entering) but if it's a BDO or PDC affiliated tournament then it has to adhere to their rulebook.

Being a proud cheat, I was playing a really fast thrower and slowed my game down to put him off his stride, it worked a treat and I went 3 up in a best of 7 match. In the 4th leg, I was down to a double with him in the 300's so when I came to take my throw to finish, I threw two slow darts, took a step back, took a swig on my pint then said "Hang on, I need a piss". I went for a shit, came back to eye daggers, picked up my dart and checked out. He didn't shake my hand (despite me washing it after my dump) and stormed out of the venue. He lodged a complaint at the monthly meeting but they said they could do nothing about it.

Good arrows.

Count yourself lucky that Davis "Slow Hand" Snyder from Texas doesn't play over here, the man may have OCD but he's a cunt.

EDIT - Can't believe someone filmed the fucker and put it on Youtube. Imagine playing against this bell.

I hated him anyway from local tournaments but the day after his World final when he appeared on TV to tell the cameras that he wasn't going back to his job, the boss gave him extra time off and sponsored him, and that his boss could stick it. I hope that he has to go back to a day job and that gets remembered.

Major lulz at Kirk "I'm don't have a coke problem" Shepherd celebrating his win over Maish by tripping over the oche and hurting his ankle. Also he started seeing his bird when she was underage and once without realising who she was, I wound her up so much on a darts forum that she cried about it over her Christmas dinner (her brother PM'd me to tell me that I'd ruined Christmas dinner at their house).

Good arrows I'm sure you'll agree.

Mrs Houchen is a Graphic Designer and was in bits watching this. I'm sure those in the industry have seen it months ago and all that but I thought this was brilliant.