Devon Malcolm

It used to be Caroline Feraday but I don't think she does lunchtimes any more, worse luck. There's another tidy weather forecaster who does the afternoons as well, Kaye Forster:-

Nazaneen Ghaffar, BBC South East weathergirl.

Yes, she's the reason I put the telly over to BBC1 5 minutes before Doctors starts. Kaddy Lee Preston does that slot sometimes and she's a sort as well.

Harris has got a bright future ahead of him, I'd say.

Loads of good young players around, absolutely loads of them. The selectors don't have the bottle to pick really good young players though. It took them 3 years to pick Onions, so don't expect to see James Harris in the team until about 2012.

Good shout on the 3 openers theory Baz, its something I've been championing since Vaughan stepped down, also good shout on Joe Gatting Frank, but I reckon it might be a bit too early for him, same for my own personal choice of Will Smith.

 

For those of you thinking 'Durham Cricket Captain or Fresh Prince?', I'd be chuffed either way.

Will Smith's crap. I'd go for Stephen Moore, another dirty Saffie, but he did great in that England Lions game against the Aussies.

I think we could be one step closer to Frank Sidebottom's dream of Graeme Hick making a return after that performance.

I watched No Country for Old Men yesterday and was disappointed. It was ok until the main guy got killed, then went rapidly down hill from there. I'm still somewhat baffled by the end. Avoid this movie at all costs! *

 

Watched Paul Blart: Mall Cop the other day and found it hilarious. Light hearted funny movie. ****

 

Yeah! Who needs the unique, intelligent, engrossing and thought provoking No Country For Old Men when we can have Paul Blart: Mall Cop! LOLZ TEH FAT GUY FALLZ OVA!!!!111!

 

You are a terrible human being.

You've missed the point! He's fat! And he's called Blart! Plus No Country For Old Men is dumb, that dude doesn't even die at the end! BLART!

It's given me an idea for a thread and junk though.

Talisa Soto is absolutely stunning. I'll admit I did look up her name a few years ago so that I could upgrade her from "that really hot woman who played Kitana in Mortal Kombat". Sadly she hasn't been in very many things of note.

I remember first seeing her in Licence To Kill and then I'd forgotten about her for a few years until Dominik Diamond went to interview her for Gamesmaster. She hasn't done much for years but after being in Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever, you can't blame her for going into hiding.

I won't be taking part in that list if it happens because my top 10 is impossible to choose. However, I will attempt to name the first 100 famous ladies who spring to mind I would rather violate than Jennifer Aniston:

Good list, that, nice call on Talisa Soto especially. I'm not sure if I could even narrow it to 100, a consequence of basically been paid to look at women most days.

As for Jennifer Aniston, she is still attractive now but she was HOT in the first two series of Friends what with the waitress outfit and what-have-you. I don't think she'd make my top 100 at this moment.

The Guardian made interesting readin this morning. Mark Butcher, David Lloyd and someone else (Not Gus Fraser) are championing Rob Key at NO. 3! I don't. Key reminds me of a brearly type player, indeed, I wanted him to replace pietersen as captain. Key should not be in the team for his batting, but instead for his cricketing brain, and with someone else in charge, it's not the same.

 

Butcher also pushed for Ramps, if not Key, but I don't agree.

 

What we do really lack, especially in these days of 400 in 100 overs is someone who can sit in the crease for hours on end, in an Athers/Boycs style. I thought Bell was capable but apparently not. Any suggestions?

There's a guy at Yorkshire called Joe Sayers who plays like that but he hasn't been in great form recently. Really, Alistair Cook used to be like that and then he started playing SHOTZ! He should go back to that.

Switchblade Romance tonight and I thought it was quite shit.

Does Devon Malcolm fancy a spell with the ball?

He'd be getting the treatment aswell today. Gladstone Small's the man for this situation.

Have you ever tried bowling with no neck? That man was a fucking legend.

Harmison taking the 1st wicket of the day was very good but his batting was dire.

In fairness, he wasn't there for his batting though, was he? He's bowled pretty inconsistently, but you expect that from him. Anderson has been awful though.

Great quote from BBC's text updates page:-

"If England were a woman they'd be Kim Wilde - they did something brilliant in 1981 and keep harking back to it all the time."

No way is Collingwood ever a number 3.

 

He has the temperament and the technique. Out of all the batsmen in our team, he is the best suited for the position.

Temperament yes, technique no.

He's normally pretty good in terms of defence and judging outside the off-stump. Obviously the hopeless prod today does my argument no good, but there you go!

australia 14-1 so far.

Cricinfo you ain't. We can see the score.

Weird pitch, this. Some deliveries are taking off and some are scooting.

Headingley, lad. There ain't no pitch like it.

No way is Collingwood ever a number 3.

He has the temperament and the technique. Out of all the batsmen in our team, he is the best suited for the position.

I was thinking Trott as well. Despite being a dirty Bokker, he's had two decent seasons. Worth a go.

They need to move Bopara from 3 as well and get Collingwood up there instead. That just isn't working at all now.

JLM's film reviews are great. But for me the best parts of Under Siege were Erika Eleniak's top cobblers. Ghost World is great though.

This England line-up is all wrong. You don't need four front line seamers at Headingley. They should have played Trott instead of Flintoff and maybe Sidebottom instead of Broad. You need swing bowlers at Headingley too - Harmison might not be the right choice.

Ric Flair, Bryan Pillman and Arn Anderson are with Mean Gene, and Pillman says it's an honour to be one of the Horsemen. He says that Hogan wanted to be a Horseman so badly, he started dressing in black to please the Horsmen. Pillman then goes batshit crazy and when talking about the Dungeon of Doom he does a hilarious shark impression. Ric Flair finally gets onto the microphone, but then Paul Orndorff heads for them, and has words for Pillman. Pillman with a right hand and this one kicks off big time. Horsemen of course help Pillman to get his shots in. SPIKE PILEDRIVER ON THE CONCRETE FROM ARN AND FLAIR !!! Oh dear. Horsemen 3:16 says "We just paralysed ya.".

I remember that angle and incident pretty well. If I'm right they sold that incident pretty impressively for a good couple of weeks afterwards.

 

I do like me some Cerrie from CBeebies. I don't mind the kids having the fucking thing on 8 hours a day as much since she came on.

 

It's not her fault she's got a fliddy arm, no need to be so rude about it.

They had some game on the other day where her and her co-presenter had to dig in this sandpit looking for as many bones as they could find. My wife said, "At least give her a shovel or something!"

I do like me some Cerrie from CBeebies. I don't mind the kids having the fucking thing on 8 hours a day as much since she came on.

Ed Wood tonight. Probably my favourite Tim Burton film which he couldn't even spoil with the needless Orson Welles scene. Martin Landau as Bela Lugosi was one of my favourite performances in any film ever, I think - absolutely perfect in every way. I didn't mind the historical inaccuracies that much, aside from the one mentioned, and this was really great fun.

8 angora sweaters out of 10.

Just watched Das Experiment tonight. Cracking film - probably really difficult to pace and possibly not helped by too much emphasis on Tarek's girlfriend on the 'outside', but it's really enjoyable and had a really satisfying ending, I thought.

 

8 nightsticks out of 10.

I Sky plussed it a few months ago but the signal was lost when they put Tarek in that little box so I've no idea what happened, if I see it cheap I'll pick it up as I really enjoyed what I saw.

Ha ha, that's exactly how we watched it last night! Ours cut out as well bizarrely but we only lost 2 minutes so it wasn't too bad. Yes, it's well worth picking up, I think I saw it on Play.com going at a decent price recently.

Kensuke Sasaki

Just watched Das Experiment tonight. Cracking film - probably really difficult to pace and possibly not helped by too much emphasis on Tarek's girlfriend on the 'outside', but it's really enjoyable and had a really satisfying ending, I thought.

8 nightsticks out of 10.