Devon Malcolm

Heists are pulled off by gangsters

Erm, are they? Sometimes they are but not exclusively.

The Usual Suspects isn't a gangster film.

You shouldn't really look any further than Miller's Crossing.

I forgot to vote for James Corden. I hate him so much. I don't suppose he would have made the list anyway.

 

Nope, don't think he got a single vote actually.

That's absolutely unbelievable. I'm genuinely shocked.

I'm not going to get started on my hatred for Oasis, everything they have done and everything they stand for because if I do then no work will be done today. But Clarkson should be FAR higher.

I'm not sure if I could find a free link to it. Robb Douglass (RIP ) used to have it on his site but it's long gone now.

EDIT - Oh, here we are. It's a really poor quality version though, the one I saw was better than that.

It's only unconventional in the sense that I remember her being nine, but Sally from Home & Away appears to have MILFed up:

 

Have you seen her sex video? It shits on the Pamela Anderson and Paris Hilton ones.

 

She doesn't know the camera is there, does she? I seem to remember her bloke totally grinning and winking at the camera, but she doesn't appear to be aware of it all.

No, she's completely oblivious, it's probably why it's better than most you'll see.

I'd have given Prior a 9. Aside from his very good batting, his keeping was world class throughout but you won't hear many people congratulating him on it. Next time he lets 4 byes through his legs in Johannesburg though, you'll never hear the end of it.

It's only unconventional in the sense that I remember her being nine, but Sally from Home & Away appears to have MILFed up:

Have you seen her sex video? It shits on the Pamela Anderson and Paris Hilton ones.

Before that I had watched R-Point. This was a load of crap too.

I was really quite hopeful about R-Point, the trailer looked good but I missed it in the cinema. I heard good things and actually bought it on DVD. I was considerably let down by it, although I not not go as far as to say it was crap. However...

 

some parts made no sense anyway such as an encounter with an American patrol wittering on about nothing at all and contributing nothing at all to the plot.

Did you not notice that

<-- click on 'spoiler' to show/hide the spoiler

 

they found the Americans chopper and they were all long dead, therefore the encounter with them was with their ghosts? It was after that they broke into the room the Yanks told them not to go into and found it full of old, dusty equipment.

 

 

[close spoiler]

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You know, I hadn't noticed that at all. Either I completely zoned out or temporarily died or something. Hmm. I was still really disappointed by it, but I am hopeful that The Guard Post will be better.

Did Joe The Lion just trot out the Mr Seven/Slipknot thing as well? Fucking hell.

Watched 28 Weeks Later for the first time last night. Enjoyed 28 Days Later and found this to be a perfectly acceptable film. There was a bit of over-reliance on the OHMYGODRUNREALLYFASTANDPLAYTHATMUSICWHILEPEOPLESCREAMANDDIE shots, but it was a good waste of time. I did feel like, towards the end, they had absolutely no idea where they wanted to go with it, which definitely made it feel more like a cash-in than a true continuation of the story. Still, I've seen much worse. It's a 6.5/10 sort of film, but in a pleasing way.

What I liked about it is that it was so relentlessly depressing and had no humour in it at all. I probably liked it more than the original. Plus Rose Byrne and Imogen Poots =

Great stuff but Australia must be wondering how they lost that series with so many of their players showing such good form.

I reckon we might win in South Africa, they are pretty overrated.

And after that, I watched it as well. I wish I hadn't, not because of the violence, but because it was just utter bollocks. I can understand the point that they are trying to make with Grotesque - the fact that the torturer is only doing this for sexual gratification is supposed to make you despair more over his intentions and make you feel more uncomfortable. But it doesn't work. There is just no point to it and no pay-off in sight makes it a worthless experience.

The acting is terrible too. I mean, if you had some of these things done to you, you'd fucking scream not sort of pull a face like Anne Widdecombe had come on the telly or something. He's just

Going back to the subject of Grotesque, the BBFC have banned it. And what an influential and powerful organisation they are too - you can watch it here for nothing.

You know, I can't remember seeing two run outs in two overs in a test match before. Unbelievable. This pitch is so weird, it's doing all sorts yet the scores have been getting bigger as the match goes on.

I think he was sent out there to enjoy himself really. Broad will play much the same way, and Swann. Flintoff's batting fell away in the last few years, it was a shame really because he never quite did as well as he could have done. I think his bowling became his main concern.

Anyone listening to TMS? The lunchtime guest in Lily Allen and she's fucking awful. So far she's discussed players she finds attractive, how the Whites look nice on the Green of the grass and she got into cricket after "Freddie had a wee at Downing Street". She then went on to say that she "doesn't get the extras thing". She mentioned Chris Old, and I thought "Ah, it might not be a washout", but alas, she just said that her dad wonders where he is now, but she doesn't know of him.

 

If they were desperate for someone "FOR THE KIDS", I hear Johnny Borrell is a giant cricket man.

There is nothing I hate more than a person who jumps on board supporting a team as part of a bandwagon and then makes no effort to understand the sport at all. LDN might have been a good song but otherwise she can fuck fucking off.

Great morning for England though, eh? I was thinking maybe 80 runs for 3 wickets down would be good going. Looks like Trott has booked his place to South Africa. At this rate, 3 of out top 5 will be Saffies of some description.

By the way, Frank, might interest you, this. Adil Rashid scored 157 not out against my lads - he's taken 5 wickets in an innings and scored centuries in back to back matches now. And, Bopara got 201 yesterday.

Finally done with Twin Peaks season one.

 

Is Season Two better than it ? It can't be surely.

It isn't. David Lynch wasn't very happy with it, let's just say. But I think it's still got some great stuff in it and some of the support characters get a lot more time to develop, which I liked.

He tags out to The Gambler, who pretends to not want to get in, even though we all know he could knock fuck out both of the roadies on his own at the same time and doesn't need that fat wanker in a stupid coat who's meant to be his tag team partner.

One day all wrestling show reviews will be like this.

FrankSidebottom should love this batting by England because a Boycott or Tavare-esque innings from someone would be just the tonic here to set them 350 to 400. Loads of time left as long as it doesn't piss down.

I don't think we would have enforced the follow on for the simple fact that nobody would fancy chasing anything over 100 on this pitch and if Australia had gotten 300+ in their second innings, that would have been facing us.

In this position, even if we're skittled for 150-200, they will still be chasing over 300 on it. If England don't win this then I'm not fucking watching cricket any more. I'm sure they'll balls it up somehow.

Cracking spell by Broad at the moment, probably his best in test cricket to date. Could do with someone else bowling well to back him up though.

So, any chance of getting to 350 this morning? If Broad can get plenty of the strike and Harmison and Anderson can stick around, we might make it. And it might end up being a good total on what is looking like a potentially dodgy pitch. We should definitely have made a lot more though as Australia didn't really bowl that well at all aside from Siddle.

Meanwhile, in other news, Adil Rashid got 5 wickets again and Murray Goodwin got 344 not out yesterday.

Not too bad so far. Bell's played some nice shots punctuated by his usual complete lapses in concentration and reasoning but has somehow bundled his way into the 60s. If we can have 250+ on the board by the time Prior and the sloggers come in then we should be alright for 400+.

 

Beautiful kiss of death there

If you look back through this thread, you'll see that this is about my 37th.