Devon Malcolm

Not too bad so far. Bell's played some nice shots punctuated by his usual complete lapses in concentration and reasoning but has somehow bundled his way into the 60s. If we can have 250+ on the board by the time Prior and the sloggers come in then we should be alright for 400+.

 

Beautiful kiss of death there

If you look back through this thread, you'll see that this is about my 37th.

Not too bad so far. Bell's played some nice shots punctuated by his usual complete lapses in concentration and reasoning but has somehow bundled his way into the 60s. If we can have 250+ on the board by the time Prior and the sloggers come in then we should be alright for 400+.

I know this will probably lead to him taking an 8-for, but I can't believe that useless lump of shit Harmison gets ANOTHER chance. One can only presume there must be some pace and bounce in the pitch though. If not, England are possibly fucked with that bowling line-up.

As for Grotesque being banned, it takes a hell of a lot to get the BBFC to out right ban a film. Looking at what they have said the thing that jumps out straight away is sexual sadism which along with Child abuse and cruelty to animals are the main things that the BBFC will cut.

 

We have probably the best censorship laws in the world which is a hell of a turn around from what it was like up untill 2000. Given they've passed near enough all the video nasties of the 70's and 80's, stuff like Hostel, the Saw movies, Miike's films and plenty of hardcore scene's to hear them bashed is pretty ridiculous. There should always be some form of censorship (i love korean films but i don't want to see any of the Animal cruelity in some of their films) and for me the BBFC get it right, were damn lucky.

The fact is that the BBFC have to move with the times and understand that a move like this is counter-productive. The majority of film-watchers out there probably would never even have heard of Grotesque. As soon as this lot hit it with their mighty banhammer then people are now going to clambering over themselves to find a torrent of it or get an import of it from eBay or Amazon.

What doesn't make any sense in this case is that the BBFC usually give out a list of cuts that should be made to achieve a certificate before banning something. In this case, they didn't. Still, I'm sure that squat cunt John Beyer is overjoyed.

I have to say I agree with their decision.

Have you seen it?

Just when you think the BBFC are getting better, they do something like this. Utter cunts.

Watched Narrow Margin last night. Good fun, nothing too taxing, and you get JT Walsh AND M Emmet Walsh in the same film, and it doesn't get more awesome than that.

Jane Wiedlin

Jacey Normand makes Trash To Cash well worth watching:-

 

Aptly named. She looks fresh off the chav assembly line.

Admittedly a crap picture but far tidier on the actual show.

Jacey Normand makes Trash To Cash well worth watching:-

I dont think we'll play 2 spinners anyway, so that doesnt bother me. Rashid is young and his time will come.

It's amazing how different the attitude is to young players over here compared with India and Pakistan. When they unearth a great young player they say, "Let's put him in the team." Over here we say, "Let's leave him a few years to pick up crappy habits from county cricket and keep picking the same old shit."

What does Rashid have to do to get picked? He just scored a century and picked up a 5 wicket haul in the same match and yet Panesar, who has done nothing all season, walks back in. Utter bollocks.

If anyone is considering watching The Thirteenth Floor, don't. What a bewildering pile of crap that was about a thousand times worse than the worst Quantum Leap episodes. Whoever told Vincent D'Onofrio that he was putting in a good performance here must be out of their fucking mind. The great Dennis Haysbert is completely wasted in a role that is a crap redo of Edward James Olmos's in Blade Runner and Craig Bierko should not be leading ANY film. Still, it does have Gretchen Mol

3 'jacks' out of 10.

Haven't you two got anything better to do with your Saturdays than wanking over country & western singers? Gawd strewth.

My wife didn't go out today

Your probably right about the whole Gilchrist/Stewart thing. I just think Prior could be in KP's league as a batsman given the chance, and I don't think he will get that chance while he is keeping, or if KP is in the team. That leaves a narrow window to try him out and critical test match or not that time is now.

 

The other thing is I don't think any other proper batsman or bowler they could pick will significantly increase our chance of winning. I think we are lucky to be in this position. We could easily be behind in the series at this point, the Aussies have all the momentum going in to this test.

 

You seem to be presuming that if Prior dropped the gloves that he would instantly become a better batsman. Gilchrist was asked last year during the IPL if he had felt that playing as a specialist batsman might have led to him posting better figures. He said no because he batted down at 6 and 7 where he felt the pressure was off him and that he could be more freely expressive. He actually suggested that if he moved up to 4 or 5 as a specialist that he would have fared worse.

 

I'm not suggesting that would be the case with Prior, but the carefree and aggressive way he plays at 6 or 7 would have to be reigned in if he moved up the order and played as a specialist batsman at 4 or 5. I really am surprised that you think a match of such magnitude is the time and place to start experimenting with players in this regard, and after the time and investment that England have made in trying to get Prior to improve his keeping skills (which appears to be working, I cannot remember an error from him in the whole series) that you are advocating chucking that all down the pan.

 

As for Foster, I'm afraid the days are gone when a wicket-keeper is picked first for his keeping and then for his batting, and I am of that school of thinking. Foster would be down the list behind Davies, Ambrose and even Geraint Jones for me.

 

If Foster is so far down the pecking order in batting terms then why did England pick him for the T20 world cup? They must have some confidence in his ability as a batsman.

 

I also don't think Prior would instantly become better, just like I said the potential to be a lot better is. As for Gilchrist, there is a difference for him as he only plays T20 now and is hardly a fair comparison.

 

I know we are never going to agree and you are right, they will never experiment to such an extent in such an important test, but thinking in traditional terms is what has got us into the position we are in now with Australia dominant and with all the momentum. I just think that a left field choice could easily throw their plans into disarray.

Geoff Miller clearly stated before the T20 World Cup that Foster had been picked for his wicket-keeping as he felt he could effect vital dismissals. In fairness, he did pull off one good stumping but his batting really did nothing.

I don't really know why you think Gilchrist isn't a good comparison, I wasn't talking about his T20 work, I was talking about his test match play and that is what he was referring too. I think you may have misunderstood me here.

Plus, I don't think the selectors have been thinking in traditional terms and I think THAT is what got them in trouble at Headingley. We shouldn't have needed 5 specialist bowlers there - history and tradition tells us that 4 is usually enough there, and an extra batsman might have made the difference.

Stephen Sommers movies are essentially him loudly banging his dick against pots and pans for two hours.

Yeah, but Deep Rising is still great.

Your probably right about the whole Gilchrist/Stewart thing. I just think Prior could be in KP's league as a batsman given the chance, and I don't think he will get that chance while he is keeping, or if KP is in the team. That leaves a narrow window to try him out and critical test match or not that time is now.

 

The other thing is I don't think any other proper batsman or bowler they could pick will significantly increase our chance of winning. I think we are lucky to be in this position. We could easily be behind in the series at this point, the Aussies have all the momentum going in to this test.

You seem to be presuming that if Prior dropped the gloves that he would instantly become a better batsman. Gilchrist was asked last year during the IPL if he had felt that playing as a specialist batsman might have led to him posting better figures. He said no because he batted down at 6 and 7 where he felt the pressure was off him and that he could be more freely expressive. He actually suggested that if he moved up to 4 or 5 as a specialist that he would have fared worse.

I'm not suggesting that would be the case with Prior, but the carefree and aggressive way he plays at 6 or 7 would have to be reigned in if he moved up the order and played as a specialist batsman at 4 or 5. I really am surprised that you think a match of such magnitude is the time and place to start experimenting with players in this regard, and after the time and investment that England have made in trying to get Prior to improve his keeping skills (which appears to be working, I cannot remember an error from him in the whole series) that you are advocating chucking that all down the pan.

As for Foster, I'm afraid the days are gone when a wicket-keeper is picked first for his keeping and then for his batting, and I am of that school of thinking. Foster would be down the list behind Davies, Ambrose and even Geraint Jones for me.

Prior has done ok with the gloves, but he looks like a good test quality batsman. If he was allowed to just bat in a test he could blossom into a top class test quality batsman and he could potentially win the match for as as a batsman. While he has to split his time between 2 roles it hampers his batting. Look at Alec Stewart, he averaged just over 34 as a 'keeper which is meh, but nearly 47 a just a batsman which is top test class. Prior may not be that good yet, but he should be given the chance to be, and with KP out injured this is the best chance to try him.

You're wrong about Stewart's 'meh' average. I think Gilchrist's amazing feats as a keeper-batsman and his 50+ average has distorted people's views as to what to expect from a keeper. Outside of him, you will struggle to find that many regular test keepers who average over 35, so Stewart's average as a keeper was actually very good indeed.

Prior's current average is outstanding and I don't see any reason to go tampering with one of the very few settled positions in the team in the off chance that he might score a few extra runs - even more so in a test match that England have to win, and thus tying up a place that could easily be filled by a proper batsman or bowler who could win us the test match.

But Prior's done perfectly fine in this series with the gloves. In fact, he's done great his whole test career and the vast majority of his first class career as such too. Foster would just be a wasted position as far as I'm concerned - we need players who can win a test match and he can't or won't.

It is difficult to bring in players for their test debut, let alone the last match of an Ashes series. So I would go as follows for this one test only.

 

Cook

Strauss

Ramprakash

Prior

Collingwood

Flintoff

Foster

Broad

Swann

Anderson

Onions

That team makes no sense at all. If Prior's done a good job as keeper then why bring in another keeper who isn't even one of the best keeper-batsmen in the country. Even if you did that, which I definitely wouldn't, you'd be better off going with Steven Davies or Tim Ambrose as they are both better batsmen. But playing two keepers won't win us a test match!

This would be my team:-

Strauss

Moore

Cook

Collingwood

Bopara

Prior

Flintoff

Broad

Swann

Anderson

Sidebottom / Rashid (depending on the pitch)

Move Cook to 3 as he's made hundreds there for England and I like having 3 openers in the top 3. Let Bopara bat lower down and give him less pressure and allow him to play his strokes more freely. Get shot of Bell and Harmison and maybe go in with Rashid as a second spinner as The Oval often turns. He would give us more batting too and he got a hundred yesterday for Yorkshire. Stephen Moore is probably the most in-form opener around and would give us a right-left hand combination at the top which is always beneficial.

I would swap Harmison for Sidebottom, but otherwise I've got no real problems with that. Onions would replace Panesar at 12th man as well.

Yeah. Monty would drop the drinks.

There's no way Harmison should be going anywhere near the international team from now on. But just you watch. He'll go away, start plunking batsmen on the head for fun for Durham before the end of the season and everyone will be clamouring for him to go to South Africa in the winter, conveniently forgetting that he's been bollocks for England for about 4 years now. It's like he's got one of those things from Men In Black.

But yes, Sidebottom in for me as well. Nice bit of variety in the attack then. I still wouldn't bring in Key though. Trott in for Bell and in at 3, Bopara down to 5.

Just watched Cloverfield. Quality little monster movie, really enjoyed it. I especially liked how they kept it really short and didn't bother speculating over where that terrible thing was from - they could have done with that in The Mist. The style was fine too, I didn't find it too disorientating. The only thing I didn't like was the noises those little things made - who thought that was a good idea?!

8 trips to Coney Island out of 10.

Cor lumme, Frank, I bet you don't need the old y-fronts when she's on the box.

chinese chef ching he-huang, i seem to be the only one i know who thinks shes hot

No you're not. I was going to nominate her earlier but I couldn't remember her name. Ta!

Captain he might be, but he's still crap. Mind you, so was Mike Brearley.