Smackdown Discussion Thread

[GavinSAFC]

A New Day are fucking terrible.

 

Sadly, this. I was looking forward to seeing what they could do. It would work better as a heel gimmick, with Big E being the destroyer and Xavier as the talker. They tested it out slightly a few months back.

[iamtheman]

Tonights smackdown on sky sports 3 is 10 minutes shorter than usual for some reason. With Santino being GM for the night my first guess is it might be to edit out plugging Jingle all the way 2 but it's something to look out for anyway. Haven't seen any spoilers 

[Arch Stanton]

SmackDown only consists of about 40 minutes of original content these days anyway, so it makes no odds.

[Professor Paul's Bin]

I watched SmackDown again this week. Enjoyed it. Some good stuff going down at the moment.

 

Fun opener between Ziggler and Harper.

 

Not only is Nikki Bella the fittest diva on the roster but she was brilliant sat on the steps in front of AJ during the Niomi Vs Brie match. There waving at her, smiling and showing the title. It was great. Brie has improved a fair bit in the ring too. Enjoyed the match.

 

I used to think Damien Sandow was one of the most boring guys on the roster but each week he gets even better. Miz seems to be getting back in a comfortable position now. I'm liking the storyline between Jey Uso and Miz - It's a rare chance there is an actual storyline for a match in the midcard and this one is interesting.

 

The New Day are utter shit. Fire all 3 of them. What is the gimmick? Sister Act? Mates?

 

Ambrose Vs Wyatt isn't doing anything for me. Really dull feud.

 

Good main event to end the show. Exchanges between Ryback and Rollins were fantastic. Loved seeing Ryback throw Rollins around like he did and I'm enjoying every single moment of the resurrection of Ryback.

 

Once again SmackDown was low on star power and they put on a decent show.

[Linus]

Hey, it's Smackdown! It's no longer the chore that it was!

Show starts with Santino. He's in charge of Smackdown tonight because no reasons. He makes the first match - Dolph Ziggler versus Luke Harper in a re-match for the Intercontinental Title!

Michael Cole looks all surly, possibly because the Anonymous GM isn't there tonight so he has no gleeful role to play. That other guy starts talking and Cole looks at him like he's a shit, then says, "are you done?" before claiming he was joking. This was the commentary equivalent of Bradshaw shower rapes.

Dolph and Harper have their match, which is decent enough. I was wondering, does Harper have to freshly grease up that vest before every match, or does he have a ready supply, all greased up for him?

Match ended when Harper blatantly kicked Dolph in the ballz, and the ref called for the DQ. Harper looked shocked. He went outside and got a ladder. He set it up to powerbomb Dolph onto it, but Dolph reversed it into the X-Factor. I'm starting to like Dolph but I wish he wouldn't use DX movez.

Harper then powdered but Dolph picked up the ladder and threw it at him, over the top rope, and it almost bounced into the crowd. HEALTH & SAFETY! Santino came out and made a ladder match for the PPV, shoehorning it in because they picked up a ladder that one time.

Team Authority came to the ring. Except the Authority are gone, so why are these guys hanging out together? Kane is even still wearing a suit - why? YOU'RE NOT CORPORATE KANE ANYMORE. Fuck off, man!

Rollins did an awful talky, even heeling on Christmas for cheap heat. He's just not at that level yet. Show then took over and said he's been in the WWE forever. Yeah, he has. He said some stuff about steel steps and then went and bullied some steel steps just in case we didn't know what steel steps were.

Kane then came on the mic and tried to get the crowd to chant FEED ME MORE but no-one would. This was terrible. Santino came out and made Rollins & Show versus Rowan & Ryback for the main event. I guess he thought Kane had some paperwork to get to.

After commercial, Tyson Kidd and Cesaro are already in the ring, so maybe they're a thing now? Their opponents for tonight, the New Day, came out and Natalya was dancing to their music. Tyson did not like that. WHY ARE YOU TOGETHER? YOU'RE DUMBER THAN ADAM ROSE!

The New Day won a nothing match, which did nothing for nobody. The Dust Brothers came on the screen after, and said some whacky stuff. Xavier Woods got a bit flustered and started an aggressive comeback but his brothers calmed him and positivity returned. Terrible.

Backstage, Naomi was delighted with some flowers that she assumed were from whichever Uso she's married to. Turns out they were from Miz, which did not make that Uso happy.

Ambrose was out for his match with Rusev. Why is Ambrose fighting Rusev? Make something up! He cut a promo on Wyatt, gleefully delighting in destroying the rocking chair. He said that, at TLC, he'd used tables, ladders, and chairs to end things.

Rusev came out to the top of the ramp and Lana said he wasn't going to fight Ambrose. She did not really give much of a reason. Storylines! Ambrose cut them off and said he'd stopped listening long ago and started toward them. He was attacked from behind by Wyatt, who was screaming, "that was her chair!"

Wyatt took a steel chair and put it against Ambrose's throat and then drove him into the steps. Ambrose sold it like he'd been punched in the, well, throat, and they did a full stretcher job. Hmm.

Hey, it's the Miz! And Mizdow! He said he didn't know what Jimmy - it's Jimmy, they said - has a problem with, and that he's only trying to help Naomi get on. He was so sleazy at this, and even Mizdow copying his every action didn't make it any less so.

The Usos came out, with Jimmy all angry and shit, and the ref threw him out of the match that he wasn't in, because it was Jey Uso versus Miz and Jimmy kept getting all hot and bothered.

Clever finish when Jey hiptossed Miz into the ring from the outside but was distracted by Mizdow copying the action and cheapshotted by Miz, who won with the Stroke. Fun build.

Yeah, it's the women. AJ is out on commentary, which is just a waste of everyone's time. It's Brie Bella, who is still taking shit from her sister for some reason, versus Naomi. Yeah, the Naomi we'd not really seen until this week. It's a push, I guess.

This wasn't good. They messed up a wheelbarrow spot. All of Mexico groaned. Nikki was good, though, taunting AJ throughout the match by smiling and waving and caressing the belt that AJ is weirdly involved with (hey, given her husband, who can blame her?).

Nikki got up on the apron to distract Naomi but AJ pulled her down, and Naomi - *sigh* - won with a roll-up. AJ skipped up the ramp afterwards. Christ.

Santino did a skit with That Fucking Bunny.

Rollins spoke to the Big Show about making sure they were on the same page. Kane said they all have to stick together because the Authority left them alone. Erm, you don't, lads. Show said, quite rightly, they're all really selfish, SO WHY ARE THEY TOGETHER? Blah blah blah.

Hey, it's the main event! Rowan - who they're trying to manouever into being called "Big Red" FFS - and Ryback were all over Rollins but after a commercial break things had switched. They did a bit where Rowan showed he could take Show off his feet, which was nice.

Heels worked over Rowan but he made a hot tag to Ryback who went for the Shellshock on Rollins. He got distracted by J&J Security and had to knock them off the apron. Rollins came back but missed a kerb stomp. Ryback warmed up the clothesline but Kane hopped up on the apron and ate it instead of Rollins.

This just got Kane angry, so he TOOK OFF HIS SUIT JACKET! The ref did not like this and ordered him to the back. Kane would not go, so some refs came and made him. Tough guy.

Rollins made the tag to Show while all this was occurring but the ref - on quite the power trip - said he hadn't seen it. So weird, that's a face spot, not a heel one. Rowan came in and took Show out, and Ryback hit a clothesline and the sheelshock on Rollins for the win.

This did nothing to build the PPV, really. Maybe it added a bit of interest in the tag titles, but only because Jimmy Uso has some fire. Smackdown's been a better show lately but this was, ehhh, just a show. Noweher near good, not exactly terrible, just there.

[Linus]

Am I the only one watching this?

 

Hey, it's Smackdown! It's less shit than Raw!

Show starts with John Cena coming out to talk about the PPV. before he could started, Seth Rollins comes out with his goons.

Seth says we should look at him, that he is the embodiment of the future. I guess in the future mankind evolves into dripping wet shithairs with tiny heads, and dresses only in pleather.

Cena snaps back at Seth's baseless - and bassless - chitchat with a curt, "Mr Rollins, your confidence makes you a fool!" That was good. Cena then schooled him in talky. I liked this bit. It didn't go on too long.

The Ascension sent in a promo video from the 80s. WHATARUSH!

Backstage, Cesaro and Tyson are ready for their tag match with the Usos. Cesaro made mention of that fucking brass ring we're never going to hear the end of now. That and "stepping up". At the end of their promo, Natalya went for a kiss but Tyson blanked her. Ha!

Miz and Mizdow were on commentary. Mizdow had his own tiny Slammy as well as his toy belts. Simple. There was a match in the ring, and some stuff happened. Cesaro ripped off Jimmy Uso's shirt. HIM STRONG. A million superkicks and a splash and the Usos won. Brass ring my ass.

Meanwhile, Miz took a call from his agent, who was disappointed in Naomi. He left to go to the back, where she was watching the match. She told Miz he was just using her and he was sad. Miz told her she's developing a reutation for drama and that she needs to sort her shit out, and that she's reflecting badly on him and that she could really make it.

After the commercial, Naomi told Jimmy Uso that he was making her doubt himself, and Jey got all mad with Jimmy about being unfocussed. Drama.

Bray Wyatt did a talky from somewhere mysterious. He said that, in 2000 years, children will be taught about him in school. I'm guessing steroid-crazed mass shooting. You?

Hmm, it's the women. You know what, I'm starting to like Nikki Bella's work. She fighting Alicia Fox here, who - a sweet German suplex apart - is the drizzling shits.

AJ is on commentary. Again. Bored of that shit. The only thing notable was a spot where Alicia avoided a rush into the corner by doing the splits on the top rope and it was all set up for Nikki to cuntpunch her but she didn't. That made me sad. Nikki won with the Rack Attack. And then did it again to make her point.

Hey, it's The/A New Day! Well, it's Big E on his own but he can't go anywhere without those loveable scamps! He's fighting Goldust because the Dust Brothers something something darkness. Stardust spent the match standing on top of the announcers' table, wearing JNL hat. That was the best thing about this serviceable match. Big E won.

When you take out all the stuff you already sat through on the three hour Raw show, this show really rattles along! It's time for another match!

It's Jack Swagger versus Titus O'Neil - HOSS FIGHT. It was all Titus until Swagger locked on a clumsy Patriot Lock for the submission victory. After the match the Russian flag dropped and Lana & Rusev came out to the top of the ramp. MIND GAMES.

Ambrose did a talky, while sat under a ladder. This was good. He said he was a gutter rat who just wanted to fight. FIGHT AMBROSE FIGHT.

Hey, it's the main event! They did a shot of backstage before they went to commercial, and Cena was with Ziggler, Rowan and Ryback and they were studying a piece of paper that had GAME PLAN written on the back. I LOL'd.

The ramp was covered in tables, ladders, chairs... and stairs. It was Ziggler, Rowan & Ryback versus Kane, Big Show & Harper. They did all the stuff. Ryback got the pinfall over Harper with the shellshock. Harper is not getting the protection he needs. That brass ring is further and further away from him.

After the match they did all that crazy stuff with the gimmicks for the PPV. Eh, you'll either watch it or you won't.

This was an Okay Show. Nothing terrible, some (unintentional?) LOL moments. Better than Raw. Miles worse than NXT. Watch that.

[Undefeated Steak]

Am I the only one watching this?

 

You're killing the ratings. If there was ever a slight need to watch Smackdown before, there isn't now. The Linus Effect.

[Bosco Blick]

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

[Dr.PeterVenkman]

Linus, go back to not watching, I know you're trying really hard but you're shite, give up, if you're what this place was like 11 years ago it explains why most people weren't members then

[Linus]

You don't get the full glory of THIS in my re-cap...

 

[Undefeated Steak]

Linus, go back to not watching, I know you're trying really hard but you're shite, give up, if you're what this place was like 11 years ago it explains why most people weren't members then

 

That's harsh. He's better than most of the boring shite on here, myself included. His write ups are fun.

[Linus]

 

Linus, go back to not watching, I know you're trying really hard but you're shite, give up, if you're what this place was like 11 years ago it explains why most people weren't members then

 

That's harsh. He's better than most of the boring shite on here, myself included. His write ups are fun.

 

 

No, he's right. That's me done. He's the boss of me now.

[Dr.PeterVenkman]

Well keep watching just don't compare everything to when you last watched regularly ie when WWE was ace

[Glass Smash]

Anyone that takes time out to write about a whole episode of Smackdown segment by segment has far too much time on their fucking hands. 

[Slapnut]

Linus, you can PM me a Raw report each week if the bullies make you stop. I like them.