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Vince McMahon's funny 1998 AOL Chat


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Back in 1998, the old prodigy chats were really popular. So Vince decided to give it ago using his AOL chat. Vince had a spot of bother with it and it crashed with only him in the chat room. So he just started posted random shit talking to himself. Its quite a funny chat. If you didnt get it, Vince is WWFLive2. You might have read it before, but I havent came across it in years. Thought it was worth posting.



On August 20th of 1998


WWFBBANKS: Folks....Mr. McMahon is here! We will begining in a

moment...Send your questions in for Mr. McMahon! Welcome Mr. McMahon!




QUESTION: Is it true Hall and Nash are coming back to the WWF?


Mr. McMAHON: Not that I know of, as far as I know they are under contract to WCW.


Bullsguy1 wants to know....


Question: Why not go back to the Pontiac Silverdome? It holds 90,000 people, so why not try again?


Mr. McMAHON: Not feasible due to the PPV universe in the greater Detroit area.


Question: Who would you like to see represent the WWF as their Champion?


WWFLive2: Bob Backlund, however, Mr. Backlund is too old.


Question: Is Sid coming back?


WWFLive2: I hope not.


Question: Vince, what kind of working relationship, if any, do you

have with Paul Heyman of ECW?


WWFLive2: I hear from Paul approximately once every three

months when he wants something. That's the extent of the relationship although, on occasion, I want something from him too.


Question: What next big talent might be coming to WWF. Is Ric Flair on his way?


WWFLive2: If I told you the next big talent who was to arrive on the scene, I would spoil the surprise, however, it's no secret that I would like for Mr. Flair to be in WWF ranks, only however, when he is legally clear to do so.


Question: Why is RAW taped week after week?


WWFLive2: RAW is live at least twice per month, soon to be more.


Question: Vinnie Mac, what are your concens now that the warrior has joined wcw?


WWFLive2: None! Whose left that wcw can take? Bruno Sammartino?


Question: Mr. McMahon, Are you and Bret Hart in Cahoots against WCW?


WWFLive2: Bret is my secret agent, however, not a very good



Question: Mr. McMahon, over the past two years in which WCW peaked

(probably permanently), how sure were you that your new "direction" of the WWF would reclaim it's rightful throne?


WWFLive2: I always feel that creativity coupled with LadyLuck and a very strong work ethic will eventually overcome. Despite overwhelming odds and predatory practices from Ted Turner.


Question: What are your thoughts on Hawk and his appearance of being drunk?


WWFLive2: Perhaps Hawk should visit Betty Ford.


Question: Vince you need to further improve your light weight division.....the belt seems almost meaningless. How will you improve this?


WWFLive2: Yokozuna is on a diet! Perhaps an influx of Ethiopian talent would be appropriate


Question: Vince, what is your true opinion on Mick Foley? Don't you think he deserves at least a title shot after all he's done to himself for the WWF?


WWFLive2: Mick Foley is one of the most extraordinary human beings on the face of the planet. But sometimes people don't get what they deserve. Although in Mick's case, he might.


Question: Mr. McMahon who in your opinion has the most talent in the WWF?

WWFLive2: Vince McMahon


Question: Where is the patriot?

WWFLive2: The Patriot is where all old patriots go, probably in a VFW home somewhere in South Carolina.


Question: Are you interested in Chris Jericho?

WWFLive2: I'm interested in any young aggressive performer who has the desire to excel.


Question: Mr. McMahon who is your favorite wrestler (active) AND WHY

WWFLive2: George the Animal Steele still wrestles for the independents. Why, because he is older than I am, I admire that.


Question: Vince, are you a fan of South Park? Will we see Golga on there?

WWFLive2: I love South Park! Chef and Cartman are my two favorite characters.


Question: Do you plan on signing randy savage when his contract expires?

WWFLive2: In the year 2032, that might be a little late.


Question: Do you respect Eric Bishoff at all? If so why? If not why?

WWFLive2: As far as a TV performer is concerned, I think he's pretty good, but, I don't know the man personally, I really can't comment.



WWFLive2: Tony only does what he's told to do.


Question: Will we ever see Bret in the WWF again and have you spoke to him since?

WWFLive2: He might return one day to the WWF, but not at the rate that his skill is deteriorating in WCW.


Question: Vince, why didn't you show at the WCW PPV to fight Eric Bischoff?

WWFLive2: I sent Mr. Bishoff a letter indicating that any parking lot in any city in America would be a suitable location for me to meet him. Rather than me show up at a Turner PPV and increase their buy rates I chose to offer Mr. Bishoff a with no TV coverage, just Bishoff vs. Vince. I got no response.


(The AOL service malfunctions, leaving Vince McMahon alone. Vince McMahon would spend the next twenty minutes waiting for service to resume. It never did.)


WWFLive2: We're temporarily frozen, stand by.


WWFLive2: We're coming back up, stay with me.


WWFLive2: I guess we have too damn many people wanting to talk to Mr. McMahon.


WWFLive2: What the hell is going on anyhow??


WWFLive2: This is supposed to be interactive but right now it's a one way street.


WWFLive2: You might even call it the HIGHWAY TO HELL!. In which case, in a role that is unfit for me, likely I would be deemed the devil.


WWFLive2: Hang on everybody, we're still frozen, god it's cold in here. Can we say shrinkage?


WWFLive2: While we're down, I predict that all of my

predictions are likely to be verified this Monday on RAW. Can you

believe that the Undertaker drove off with his brother Kane in a

hearse last Monday. I understand they were last seen on Route

95 heading North.


WWFLive2: Can somebody at AOL please wake the hell up? Is all of America trying to talk to Mr. McMahon?


WWFLive2: We're back, finally!


WWFLive2: No we're not back.


WWFLive2: Why the hell is AOL frozen?


WWFLive2: Damn it, I want to talk to you people.


WWFLive2: More importantly, I want to listen to you.


WWFLive2: But to answer most of your question, I'm feeling fine!


WWFLive2: It's nice that everyone is so concerned with my

health and mental well being. I didn't know so many people cared.


WWFLive2: You see while this damn thing is frozen, I can

fantasize all I want. Which brings me to Sable. Wow!! Wait til you

guys see, if you haven't already, some of the new shots of Sable. Truly a classy lady. and a classy chassy to boot. Did I say boot, that's kind of nice too.


WWFLive2: Well I certainly appreciate all of the questions

coming over a frozen AOL. Come on Bob Pittman, get your shit together! The one opportunity I have to speak to everybody online and damn el nino strikes again! Or is it nanook of the

north? You guys remember the pro wrestler Nanook don't you? He worked for Jerry Jarrett in the 60's under an assumed name. Speaking of Jerry Jarrett, wonder how well he's doing selling property. He was thought of as the most beloved promoter in the history of the wrestling business, although Kansas City's Bob Gigel ran a close second. What the hell's going on? I'm still frozen! We're crashed.


WWFLive2: She's breaking up, she's breaking up.


WWFLive2: Much like DX might be doing...oops! maybe I shouldn't

have said that.


WWFLive2: I'm having a blast talking to myself. I can't hear you.


WWFLive2: I'm making alot of sense to myself, as I generally do when I am asking and answering my own questions, I'm sure yours would be more provocative:


WWFLive2: Alright AOL. What the hell is going on? You should

have known that people want to talk to Mr. McMahon.


WWFLive2: I know I do.


WWFLive2: This is really getting nonsensical, if we don't

straighten it out soon, I'm going downstairs to the no excuse gym,

open 7 days per week, 24 hours a day. My goal is to add another

quarter inch to these massive twenty inch guns.


WWFLive2: Speaking of massive, wait til you get a load of a new

WWF toy. It's called a BOSS HOSS. It's a 351 cubic inch chevrolet

engine. Fitted between my legs, 0 to 60 in 1 1/2 seconds. It's the ultimate crotch rocket!


WWFLive2: We're talking to AOL now, Susan, who claims that we may have had a problem if more than 5,000 people were trying to get in, no shit, can you imagine that. Like I said before, they just weren't prepared.


WWFLive2: Susan, I sure wish this problem with AOL were fixed. What a waste.


WWFLive2: I'm told some of you now can see this monologue.


WWFLive2: It's not a very good monologue.


WWFLive2: Mr. M: But, it's the best I can do at the moment. What I

would really like is for AOL to apologize to all of you who have

attempted to reach the WWF and yours truly tonight. I would like to

see this apology on the air and in every newspaper and we here will

apologize to our fans through WWF.COM as well as on the air.


WWFLive2: I'm sitting in Bill Banks office with a cup of coffee

in my hand that's cold, looking up at DX making some sort of gesture toward their crotch, what the hell is the matter with Bill Banks?


WWFLive2: Oops, Bill just told me to suck it!


WWFLive2: What does he mean by that?


WWFLive2: Perhaps Monica can help us out!


WWFLive2: And how about that Chris Rock anyhow.


WWFLive2: Just like he said, Bill Clinton gave Monica a job, oh

what the hell you can finish the rest. Speaking of jobs, what would I like to do to AOL at this moment, and who was that cold hearted women, Susan, that I just spoke to from AOL, who asked the questions, Did we promote, that Mr. McMahon was going to be on line tonight?


WWFLive2: That's it, I'm looking to get Bob Pitman in the ring.

How about it Bob, a Brawl for All, Pittman vs. McMahon. Knowing you, you'd probably cheat to win.


WWFLive2: It wouldn't work, just like this damn AOL isn't

working tonight.


WWFLive2: I have now begun to mumble to myself.


WWFLive2: I am boring myself out of my mind.


WWFLive2: Speaking of minds, what about that retarded Mankind?

How gullible is that guy anyhow, you want to talk messed up? I liked him better as Dude. At least Dude would shower regularly. Have you guys every smelled that stinky leather mask that Mankind wears. If you're anywhere in the first 10 rows, you have. It wasn't your neighbor flatulating next to you, it was Mankind's mask, Or, was it the aftermath of a Vader match? Or, was it the aftermath of a Vader match?


WWFLive2: If the canvas on the ring had not been changed in the

last month. and, Vader has been in the building, there will be an

odor. It's Vader Time. That sends shock waves through the WWF



WWFLive2: Well it's almost time for me to go train, I must say

I thoroughly enjoyed the first five minutes of our chat. which was

interactive, just like the WWF will be interactive tomorrow with the hierarchy of AOL.


WWFLive2: If I were you I would demand a Christmas gift, a

birthday card, and an autographed picture of Bob Pittman. or Susan

whatsherface? who could not solve our problem tonight.


WWFLive2: I've got two words for AOL - SUCK IT!


WWFLive2: Wait a minute, that's Bill Banks line to me earlier,

I think he stole it from somebody else.


WWFLive2: I apologize for breathing in and breathing out and

wasting your precious time, but, perhaps, we can do it again some

other time, when AOL has their shit together.


WWFLive2: Mr. M: In the immortal words of Vince McMahon I hope it was better for you then it was for me. Goodnight.


After that mishap, he got himself resheduled and continued more hilarity.


WWFBBANKS Welcome back to AOL Mr. McMahon!

WWFmatrat Mr. M: Good evening everyone, hopefully AOL has their stuff together tonight.

Mr. M Fire away!

Question Would you be interested in getting Stevie Richards in the WWF?

Mr. M Possibly, however, I'm concerned with Stevie Richards injury, I spoke to him in Philadelphia last Monday night and he indicated he just started wrestling back, but he had just sustained an injury to his neck area, I'm concerned about his health.


Mr. M Not unless Yoko has lost approximately 400 lbs. I wish he would make a return at a healthy weight.

Question Mr. McMahon, Who will be the number one contender for the WWF championship belt after Summer Slam?

Mr. M To be determined.

Question Last weeks Raw was the biggest one in a while but you still lost the rating's how do you plan to win them back?

Mr. M Unfortunately Raw will be preempted for the next 2 weeks,

however, where there's a will there's a way and there's definitely a will

on the part of the WWF

Question Thanks for taking the time to talk to us fans, Mr. McMahon. My question is if Hulk Hogan came to you after his WCW contract was up saying he wanted to end his career in the WWF, would you try to work out a deal with him or tell him thanks but no thanks?

Mr. M Theoretically, Hogan should end his career in the WWF, this is where Hogan achieved stardom, however, I don't respond to hypothetical questions.

Question Vince, You must realize that many young children idolize the wrestlers of the WWF. I was wondering if you were at all concerned what the kids were picking up from the middle fingers and sex references from the wrestlers??

Mr. M It's the 90's! The WWF is only reflecting what is contemporary in today's society I dare say there are a great deal more middle fingers and sexual references in everyone's life then are portrayed in the WWF. Nonetheless, it is every parents discretion as to whether populace watch the WWF or any other TV program on the air.

Question Vince....how close, if at all, is Ric Flair to signing with Titan? By the way....the past few months have been the best in a looooong time in the WWF! Congrats.

Mr. M Thanks for the congratulations. If the WWF were to sign Rick Flair I would expect even more congratulations. Stayed tuned.

Question There are some rumors that there a lot of talent from the other federation may be jumping ship soon. Are there any there that you will try to get when their contracts are up?

Mr. M We will vigorously pursue any competitor who wants to be here in the WWF.


Mr. M Undertaker.

Question Thank you for your time, Vince. Do you think you made Hogan a name or did Hogan make himself a name?

Mr. M We did it together.

Question Mr. McMahon is it true that the WWF is in negotiations with the Fox network

Mr. M I'm not at liberty to discuss which networks are talking to us about programming.

Question How is HEAT doing in the ratings? Will it continue, and what is the agreement with the USA Network on it?

Mr. M USA has indicated that they have an interest in the WWF continuing to provide them HEAT on a weekly basis. However, we're in negotiation as we speak.

Shane And the giant rating are due to your son.

Mr. M Absolutely, he's a chip off the old block.

Question Is pro wrestling's main competition other sports or movies? How do you market it against the competition?

Mr. M The Wow's competition other than direct competition, i.e. Ted Turner would be any entertainment in the action adventure vein.

Question Mr. McMahon, with the huge ratings Raw brings in, why is USA prempting it just for the 3 redneck tennis fans in Alabama?

Mr. M Those three redneck fans in Alabama obviously hold a great deal of USA Network's stock. They are actually Larry, Curly and Moe of the Three Stooges. However, US Open Tennis of this year will have a WWF flavor.

Question Did you ever think Austin was going to be so popular?

Mr. M No I had no idea that a finger gesturing, beer swilling, foul mouthed Stone Cold would ever reach these heights of popularity. What do you people see in this redneck lunatic?

Question Mr. McMahon who in your opinion has the most talent in the WWF?

Mr. M Vince McMahon

Question Mr. McMahon, where has Sunny been? Will she be coming back? And speaking of ever coming back, will marlena ever come back?

Mr. M Sunny is under contract to ECW but who knows, one day she may return to the WWF. Marlena, however, has been on a religious sabbatical in Lithuania return soon as Sister Marlena.

Question Vince, are you controlling Sable?

Mr. M No man ever controls a woman. It's the other way around I'm sure, although I'm not smart enough to realize it.

Question do you think the rock was out of line by doing what he did to Chyna??

Mr. M Yes I felt the Rock's actions were despicable and uncalled for. I guess he got carried away. However, some people around me wondered how Chyna would have reacted if big Mark Henry had planted a kiss on her.

Question where is the patriot?

Mr. M The Patriot is where all old patriots go, probably in a VFW home somewhere in South Carolina.

Question Will Sid every return to the WWF?

Mr. M Never say never in this crazy business. But, it is doubtful.

Question What's the status of Terry Funk?

Mr. M Terry Funk is taking a hiatus from ring action to perform in a number of movies. I am attempted to persuade Terry to come back to action ASAP. We miss him.

Question Hi Vince. First off, I'd like to say, you are the icon, and that no matter what the ratings say, the WWF will always be on top. What do u think of WCW always taking those cheap shots at you and the WWF?

Mr. M It's a free country. People can take any shots they want. Sticks and stones may break my bones but Turner can't. Screw you Ted!

Question How much longer do you see yourself involved in the action part of wrestling? Will you let Shane take over?

Mr. M I'm currently taking the same supplement of Mark McGuire which should take my frail, 230 lb body to approximately 275 lbs by November. I'm ready for any kind of action

Question Rumor has it that the Brawl for All semis and finals were works, is this true?

Mr. M Believe what you want to believe, no matter what I say, you won't believe me.

Question Vince- Are there current plans for a women's division in WWF again? I hear that Alundra Blayze is on her way back... Any truth to that?

Mr. M As far as I'm concerned, we can't have enough women in the WWF.

Question Hey I live in Philly and was wondering how I could get advanced tix for wrestlemania15 to avoid the sellout

Mr. M On November 29, the next live Philadelphia event, you'll get instructions.


Mr. M Who??

Question Vince will you ever fight Austin beside on MTV?

Mr. M After I severely destroy Austin on MTV, who knows, we might see the real thing someday. Only after I've said my prayers, taken my vitamins...oops, that was from another era.

Question Mr. McMahon, any matches Signed for Raw this coming week?

Mr. M There is no RAW for the next two Mondays, however, we encourage everyone to watch Sunday Night HEAT in the coming weeks. However, I have misspoken, there are RAW make goods on September 5 at 11 PM and on September 12 at 7:30 PM on USA Network.

Question hey Vince do you think you can talk to playboy and try to get them to do a pictorial on the women of WWF with pictures of Chyna and sable naked

Mr. M Playboy is currently negotiating for the rights to present Sable.

Question Mr. McMahon what do you think of WCW champion GOLDBERG

Mr. M You mean the Stone Cold rip off!

Question Do you think Shawn Michaels will rejoin DX

Mr. M I don't know that DX will have him.


Mr. M Al lost his head.

Question Vince who is sables mystery partner going to be

Mr. M If I told you it wouldn't be a mystery!


Mr. M I sincerely hope so.

Question if u could have one WCW star on your roster who would it be and, why?

Mr. M If I told you, you would tell them, then, I would never get them.

Question Vince, are you a fan of South Park? Will we see Golga on there?

Mr. M I love South Park! Chef and Cartman are my two favorite characters.

Question Hey Vince, What made you consider to bring Sean Waltman back?

Mr. M Sean Waltman is a tremendous talent and he had been fired rather unceremoniously by Ted Turner's rasslin organization.


Mr. M Do you know something that I don't know? The kliq reunited sounds interesting to me.

Question Who in the WWF do you see as the next Steve Austin?

Mr. M My son Shane!

Question is Bart Gunn going to get more popular

Mr. M If Bart keeps knocking people out, he's bound to win a few hearts.

Question Mr. McMahon is it true the Undertaker will be taking some time off after Summer Slam to spend time with his family and have ankle surgery??

Mr. M Definitely not!

Question Thank you for your time, Vince. Do you have any advice for someone trying to become a Pro Wrestler?

Mr. M Don't!

Question What's the condition of Gorilla Monsoon?

Mr. M Gorilla is alive and well, he's been on a strict diet and was at Philadelphia last Monday night.

Question when is Steven regal going to be ready for action

Mr. M But then again, he might still be wrestling. Oh yeah! Hopefully very soon.

Question Is it true Triple H might be leaving DX?

Mr. M Not that I know of. Then again, only if Chyna likes Mark Henry better.

Question Who would be your idea of a "Corporate Champion?"

Mr. M My son Shane!

Question As the owner of WWF, how do you find wrestlers to be in the WWF?

Mr. M We conduct camps on a regular basis which attracts wrestlers from all over the world. We also have scouts who are constantly on the lookout.

Question Is the WWF negotiating with a Major network to televise WWF Events on National TV???

Mr. M Yes, but I'm not at liberty to say which ones.

Question Will we see another Brawl For All considering guys got hurt

Mr. M Yes, you'll probably see individual Brawl for All matches, but in all likelihood, we probably will not have another tournament.

Question If you had sold the WWF, what would you be doing today?

Mr. M Another hypothetical question. I don't answer hypothetical questions. However, the WWF is not for sale, much to Ted Turner's chagrin.

Question What is going on with Dustin? Will Goldust ever come back?

Mr. M Dustin is a most unusual individual. Sometimes I have no idea what he is thinking I guess all things are possible.

Question are mankind and Kane still gonna tag up at SummerSlam

Mr. M Yes I think it will be very interesting to see how well they function.

Question Mr. McMahon, I heard a rumor that Shawn Michaels want to compete in Survivor Series this year, is it true?

Mr. M I would hope Shawn would be back in action long before the Survivor Series.

Question Do you feel the WWF does too many PPVs? Is it overkill?

Mr. M Our PPV buy rates are very healthy and on the upswing. I guess maybe fans can't get enough of a good thing.

Question Mr. McMahon Will you ever get in the ring and wrestle again in the near future??

Mr. M Only if sufficiently provoked.

Question Mr. McMahon, will there be any new stipulations made to any matches at SummerSlam?

Mr. M All hell is likely to break lose on Sunday Night HEAT live from MSG. If it does, stipulations can be made on the spot.

Question Would you ever consider a working agreement with a foreign organization like WCW has with New Japan?

Mr. M Sure I'll consider anything.

Question Have or would you ever consider having Mike Tyson in the WWF again?

Mr. M Possibly.

Question Are you friends with the Insane Clown Posse? If so how did you hook up with them?

Mr. M I'll look forward to personally meeting ICP at SummerSlam. Their very unique and they have a good vibe.

Question Where do you see HHH heading in the WWF in the years to come???

Mr. M He could be headed for the stars or into dead ends. It's up to him.

Question Vince, Have you come close to signing Jenna Jameson yet?...And if so I am assuming she will be with Val Venis correct?

Mr. M Thank you no, I'm not interested in signing Jenna Jameson

Question Will RAW ever go 3 hours?

Mr. M I don't know.

Question Is it true the next WrestleMania will be here in Philadelphia?

Mr. M Yes it's true. On March 28.

Question how come you stopped commentating?

Mr. M I enjoy producing and directing more than I enjoy talent work. However, sometimes I do miss it.

Question Is HBK going to be a ref or commentator or interfere at SummerSlam???

Mr. M He will be there. Who knows in what capacity.

Question Mr. McMahon, When is Monday Night Raw is going Live every Monday ?

Mr. M After a two week hiatus with the US Open, RAW returns live Sept. 14.

Question What do you think of the Oddities?

Mr. M I think the Oddities are pretty cool, I love the ICP music. I'm anxious to see what the Oddities can do against competitive performers.

WWFBBANKS Vince...thanks for joining us tonight! We look forward to SummerSlam this Sunday!

Mr. M Thank you very much for allowing me to have the privilege to answer some of your questions, thank you for having me, I'll see you at SummerSlam, by the way, it's on PPV.

WWFBBANKS Have a good night folks! Remember, join us this Sunday for HEAT live at 7 PM ET, and then SummerSlam beginning at 8 PM ET on Pay-Per-View!

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I love Vince's answers to questions about people who didn't work for him any more - why the fuck would he care, after all? "Where all old patriots go", snigger.

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