THE BAWBAG FIFTEEN~!~!~!

[Kenny McBride]

Linus is right. I've had a bit of thinking to do.

 

I want to stress that this whole thing started as a joke - a rather silly parody of a parody that was a combination of a rather perverse patriotism and my overwhelming desire to troll Mo Chatra whenever and wherever the opportunity arises. A bunch of people voted - not a huge number, but enough voters with enough different suggestions and enough interesting and worthwhile comments to make me think that the whole thing might be worth the effort after all. I've had a lot of fun doing the write-ups and I hope most people understand that very little of it is meant seriously. You'll maybe have noted that the SWA guys have had the shit ripped out of them more than the others. Partly that's because I've seen more of them so I know more about what people meant when they made certain comments, partly because I've seen them at all and so have had anything much to say, but mostly because I know them personally and they know that most of what I've said is either stuff I've said to them privately anyway or stupid shit that doesn't matter. Cage hasn't commented at all in public but has discussed his write-up with me. Micken and Bull have both read it, I know. Abraxas hasn't said anything (to me or publicly) one way or the other. And Con, shameless hawker that he is, is already coining it in on the strength of his position.

 

 

Anyway, for what it's worth, I'd like to offer a little counterpoint before we go on - the UKFF Big Baws 15, in honour of the guys with the big baws to go out and bump their arses off in one of Scotland's two very shaky-looking rings for our mindless entertainment.

 

No. 15 - Tommyboi - let's be honest, the 'Mania parties have been fucking great fun. He may be a complete Bawbag online, but offline he's genuinely nowhere near as awful. And it either takes GINORMOUS baws or a serious brain trauma to make someone post a pic like that in a publicly accessible folder. MC Tommy, we salute you!

 

No. 14 - Jonny Lions - I know jack about the guy, but there were a fair few people watching him on those videos. He didn't look dangerous. Fuck it, dude. If you're pissed off and think the vote was unfair, send tapes out to some more reputable promoters and see if they'll think about using you.

 

No. 13 - Drew McDonald - OK, I like Drew. A lot. He's been around the block more times than you've had hot dinners. MOJ has a completely irrational hatred of the man, but in the dressing room or in the ring, Drew McDonald is business to the fucking bones. Whatever you think of his work, the guy has earned EVERYONE's respect.

 

No. 12 - Brad Fusion - I used to love him. I've not seen him in a while, but he had a great body, cool highspots and with a bit of spit and polish could have been a top player. I just hope he takes this as encouragement to push himself on to that next level.

 

=11 - Abraxas - Has potential to be an excellent brawler. Needs to get more aggressive, though. And work on his legs.

 

=11 - Rob McKai - LOLZ.

 

No. 10 - Carl Conroy - Good look. Good mouth. Good promoter, I hear. But a big guy doing too much matwork, eh? Stand up and kill people with forearms and corner splashes, dude!

 

No. 9 - Killian - Is actually pretty freaky to stand next to. He's a big, big man. Once it all clicks for him and he figures out to use it right, he will make small children cry and use the pillow of their mothers' bosoms to hide their sad, ruddied faces from the scary man.

 

No. 8 - Micken - Lives to be a bad guy. I mean, just utterly unlikeable in any way whatsoever. Sleazy, smarmy, nasty, cowardly, selfish, arrogant...oh, sorry. You wanted me to talk about him as a wrestler? Yeah, he's OK, I s'pose. Actually does wear a bin bag to the ring though. Chant this at him next time you see him.

 

No. 7 - Raging Bull - DOES know how to work as a big, evil, fat man. Story time~! I used to take my girlfriend's nephew to SWA shows. He loved them (he's a huge mark for Falcon, White Tiger, Majik and Con, by the way). So anyway, one day shortly after Bull turned on Scott Renwick, he asks me "Kenny, does Raging Bull work in <a shop>?" I said, "yes, I think he does work there," then enquired "did you talk to him?". "No," said the youngster, sadly. "I was too scared of him after what he did to his partner last time." The Raging Bull doesn't make kids cry. He makes them shit themselves a fortnight after shows.

 

No. 6 - Bravehart - Looks to have a decent body and be an actual adult man. This is a good start.

 

No. 5 - Highlander - Hey, he's out there running shows that guys enjoy working on and he has a training school that's turned out some really, really good wrestlers. Unless I've got my wires crossed, Wolfgang and Darkside (who both just got very good UKFF 50 ranks) both came from there, while Drew Galloway/McIntyre put in a lot of hours there too. If he's doing that and making some money, fair play to the guy.

 

No. 4 - Mike Musso - Looks great. Lovely guy in person. If he finds a gimmick that suits him, he will go far.

 

No. 3 - Kongo Kev - Meh. I know nothing. Although again, he had a fair crowd on this videos.

 

No. 2 - KG Tyler - Knows what he's trying to do. May well get there - hey, DDP did. I'd prefer to see him as the wise-ass manager of an indestructible A-List, but you take what you can get. After all, most of his matches feature Darko now, so it's not all bad.

 

No. 1 - The i-Baw - God bless Conscience. Seriously, if there's a penny to be made somewhere, this guy's probably doing it. That's because he works harder than perhaps anyone I've ever known in wrestling, and I think that covers some ground. Works too hard in the ring, but I guess that's much better than being a guy who half-arses everything because it's his show and he doesn't have to try. Good guy who's done more for Scottish wrestling than anyone. Go to The Gathering. Hell, even if he's shit, there's Wolfgang Vs. Martin Stone in the main event.

 

Now, you'll note that I've not yet posted the number one. That's because of what I'm about to post separately. I should confess that I feel absurdly bad about who came top, but mostly because with the top few names so close, I was concerned that with my naming of the email address for the the poll, I had unduly influenced the electorate. However, as I made clear on a number of occasions, I didn't vote and I didn't make up comments. I just re-hashed everything other people had said. Yes, I take responsibility for the results in the way a referee takes responsibility for a boxing match. But if a boxer gets knocked out or even killed, it's not the referee that punched him.

 

So what exactly is my point here? Well, just that I'm saying nothing about the man who "won" this poll with a margin of more than 15%. Someone else says it all soooooo much better...

[Kenny McBride]

Scotland's Biggest Bawbag - "Flawless" James Wallace

Simple really...I have little care for trouble nowadays, I've had enough in my time (as you know) so I work for McGregor now 4-6 days a week, I keep a low profile and don't bother anyone, so I don't expect anyone to bother me. I think it's reasonable. So...Heard word of your experiment on UKFF etc wherever it is...Unlike most useless cunts who think they can wrestle, I make a full-time living from wrestling - no bad for a 'bawbag' really.So, If I appear in your list, please show up and confront me next time I work in Scotland - also, bring a big baseball bat or a few mates, you'll need it. Im working for Musso next month Sept 19, 20, 21 - otherwise I shall be working in England for Ian McGregor,Also, being a 3-time National champ freestyle wrestler and European shoot champ aint too shabby either - you probs already know that. But you'll find out first hand if I ever meet you.One thing that benefits you, I don't know that you look like, mainly cos ur not important enough to be cared out. So like I said, I appear in the list - you cannot complain whats coming to you.If you'd like my number, just ask, I'd be more than happy to hear an apology - It'll buy you a 'Get out of being choked out free card' ;-)I sincerely mean all of this, truth be told I'm a fairly nice and polite fella, but don't like being hassled. I don't react well to it. Don't cause trouble for me or yourself. It's completely useless and makes no sense.Have a good day,Jim

[FLips]

What a fag. You should pill him and pay a homeless guy to skullfuck his soul out.I can honestly see why this guy is BawBag Numero Uno, he's probably done more damage to his name threatening people over the list than actually being on it.Flawless?, Bawless more like.

Edited August 25, 2008 by AliveAndAmplified

[Quentin]

And you all thought Ronin was bad...

[The Cum Doctor]

No. 8 - Micken - Lives to be a bad guy. I mean, just utterly unlikeable in any way whatsoever. Sleazy, smarmy, nasty, cowardly, selfish, arrogant...oh, sorry. You wanted me to talk about him as a wrestler? Yeah, he's OK, I s'pose. Actually does wear a bin bag to the ring though. Chant this at him next time you see him.

You think I need to be TOLD to do this ?I nominated ...Jamie Feerick based purely on his look. The very few occaisions I've seen him, he's looked pretty good as a wrestler, and had a very good match in Giffnock with the Bawbag List's very own Brad Fusion. Obviously the look can be worked on, and some of the guys in SPWA look terrific. Felt bad for the nomination, but hey, fair's fair.Conscience. Just didn't see enough from him that wasn't dull in the last 12 months. In hindsight, the match he had with Wolfgang in Linwood was pretty good, but live, the dead crowd just completely killed it. Infact, the dead crowd killed the show full stop. Should have missed him out purely based on the success of SWA. Can't really be a Scottish wrestling bawbag, but hey.Johnny Darko. Can I have a side of bland with that bland ?Kev Rocks. Only seen him once, but his main good point seemed to be doing the whole "We Will Rock You" thing. After that, I wasn't sure whether to care or not.Is there any on the list that I forgot about when nominating ? Carl Conroy's probably the only one that I forgot about that makes up this list. Outside of the list, I'd have gone for The Machine as another forgotten one.On the list, there are guys that, if I had the choice of EVER seeing them, I'd have selected them. I've made my thoughts on Drew McDonald pretty clear. I have seen him many, many times and don't have much time for him. Had a great match with Eric Canyon back in the days of SCW, but who didn't have a great match with that guy ? KG Tyler is another one who when I've seen him, I've just not been happy. I'm pretty sure there were times when I cringed watching him. EXCELLENT manager though. Love him at ringside just berating fans and the ref and just people in general.

[xear]

Isn't Kev Rocks Irish so he wouldn't be allowed in anyway?

[The Cum Doctor]

I'm pretty sure it was said in the earlier thread that if someone wrestled in Scotland, they were eligible. I'm sure there was talk of Majik being able to do a "hat trick" on the UKFF.

[dangerously420]

Isn't Kev Rocks Irish so he wouldn't be allowed in anyway?

I wonder if Haraga done well in school at geography?! After reading through this mammoth thread it was an honour to appear on the list as the only non wrestler and congratulations to James Wallace. Do we have the possible M.O.T.Y waiting in the wings Mcbride vs Wallace? If it happens as a fellow bawbag ill announce it!

[The Cum Doctor]

I wonder if Haraga done well in school at geography?!

I preferred history myself. It might actually depend on whether they're a regular, and didn't Kev Rocks appear on a couple of shows for PBW ? If not, my nomination would have been null and void.Buggery.

[Mr_Sunday_morning]

I'm pretty sure it was said in the earlier thread that if someone wrestled in Scotland, they were eligible. I'm sure there was talk of Majik being able to do a "hat trick" on the UKFF.

dom majik is Scottish regardless he was born in langbank and hes my daughter's god father and i wouldn't entrust that honour to an Englishmanand thanks for the comments from yourself and kenny SWA has done well this year and im very proud of all the boys from the dark matches up to the main event which in the last year for the record ive been in twice lol The Gathering was proof positive that Scottish wrestling is stronger than we like to believe and that is in no small part down to Ross at PBW and the continuing work of Colin at BCW , Carl at Wild and Mike at 3WL i cant comment on the wrestlezone guys or spw but we have 3 good Proven trainning schools up here now with Ourselfs SPWA and 3WL providing a future for the buisness and that cant be a bad thing not bad considering 4 of the 5 promotions are being ran by BAWBAGS!

[The Cum Doctor]

The Gathering is proof positive that Scottish wrestling is stronger than we like to believe and that is in no small part down to Ross at PBW and the continuing work of Colin at BCW , Carl at Wild and Mike at 3WL i cant comment on the wrestlezone guys or spw

Corrected for you. There's already some awesome talent on the card. Who on here can say that they aren't looking forward to Martin Stone vs. Wolfgang ? Or the TLC Match ? Or the tag team gauntlet which would now be awesome even if the worst team in the world joined ? There's even a bawbag in one of those matches, and I'm sure that there's more bawbags to be added. I might be forgetting someone.

but we have 3 good Proven trainning schools up here now with Ourselfs SPWA and 3WL providing a future for the buisness and that cant be a bad thing

Don't know what I've seen from W3L. Nathan Reynolds, Mike Musso and Damien Diamond are the ones I've seen a good amount from. SPWA and Area 52 are now proven for bringing out the good stuff.Most of the people on that list of 15 are pretty decent. A couple of them are VERY good. One of them is my favourite thing in Scottish wrestling at the moment. Guess who THAT is ? I guess it's a good thing that this list is so close to G2, because it means that there is only a short time before we're all reminded how good Scottish wrestling is. Oh, and before I forget, aren't THREE bawbags in one match on the next SWA show ? That has to be worth a look.

[JamesTyler]

I guess it's a good thing that this list is so close to G2, because it means that there is only a short time before we're all reminded how good Scottish wrestling is. Oh, and before I forget, aren't THREE bawbags in one match on the next SWA show ? That has to be worth a look.

Three Bawbags AND a Shitarse Names up at Fan Access for those curious...

No. 2 - KG Tyler - Knows what he's trying to do. May well get there - hey, DDP did. I'd prefer to see him as the wise-ass manager of an indestructible A-List, but you take what you can get. After all, most of his matches feature Darko now, so it's not all bad.

"It's me! It's me! It's K-G-T...?"That's a scary concept...

[firedownbelow]

The W3L in the past has produced some very good wrestling talent,Damien Diamond, Tommy Turner, PNess, Judge Jimmie James (of Fight Club) Nathan Reynolds, Sara, EG Mackie, Sensei Kazama, Prince of Pain,Just about all of those guys are working regularly around ScotlandWe all know that the old BCW school produced some of the best in Scotland,SPWA is Producing some good talent also, Jamie Feerick, TJ Rage, Andy Wild. Logan Storm, most notablyIm not too Keen on RTA... But all SPWA trainees try to be very american indy, and thats not what I personally wanna see at a British Wrestling show.Area 52 has produced some amazing talent in the past like RIP, Scott Renwick, Falcon and BT GunnBut recently only Steve Xavier has stood out in my mindI wonder who is the biggest standout with all these Trainees/Trainee workersA new thread perhaps? lol

[The Cum Doctor]

Damien Diamond, Tommy Turner, Judge Jimmie James (of Fight Club) Nathan Reynolds, Sara, EG Mackie

I've seen them. Pleasantly surprised to see that Jimmie was a W3L man. I just assumed he would have been the same as Kid Fite.

[firedownbelow]

Naw Judge was a W3L guy and he and Fite were put together at a W3L show in i believe may 06, and the rest is history