SpursRiot2012

You're going to beat that in the ground for how long, Keith? Just give me a rough idea.

You're perfectly entitled to that view.

Just now, Lion_of_the_Midlands said:

3 hours doesn't sound long enough for Alex. You sure it want part 1 of 2?

Love him or hate him the one thing Alex can do is talk, and he never stops trying to work whoever he is talking to. I heard he even worked his own grandma, it was her who told me. 

He worked me by dangling the idea of Scott Hall as an import in front of me while mildly intimidating me.

10 minutes ago, Devon Malcolm said:

CLOSE THIS THREAD

Woah, I know it's not George Carlin-level comedy but let's not go crazy here.

1 hour ago, Ralphy said:

Ive been violated by doctors and specialists on numerous occasions (and at the hospital appointments too...) , its rather unpleasant but you are doing the right thing in getting it checked out, if you strain or have to strain to go to the toilet, or you get itching and stuff like that, it could be a hemorrhoid to be honest 

There's no pain at all, actually. It's just...there.

2 hours ago, Chest Rockwell said:

You've got me curious about this bit now... On the face of it that doesn't sound line something that's going to get the audience onside.

I was using when the Baby on Board badges first came out. The bare bones of it are something along the lines on, "I was on the tube the other day and saw SEVEN women in one tube carriage with these Baby on Board badges that nudge people to give up their seats. Now, I'm not saying there are women out there pretending to be pregnant just to get a seat on the tube, but shouldn't there be some sort of test? Perhaps peeing on a stick for a member of London Underground's staff before they get a badge? And anyway, it's not fair. My back hurts, my ankles swell, I have cravings for several different types of cheese. Where's my Fat Bastard on Board badge?! I want a seat too!"

That's what I can remember of it. It's much longer, with lots more tags, but I don't have the notebook with it in to hand. It was one of my earliest ever "bits" and tended to do quite well (killed at Angel Comedy every time I did it) because I'd gradually work myself up into a rage over the whole idea.

3 hours ago, PowerButchi said:

All countryside people are massive racists was a massive one, and raving against people that voted Brexit for more than a few months now. It's understanding why people went that way rather than kicking off like a Centrist Dad. Look at it from an anthropological point of view.

I don't think I've mentioned Brexit at all recently. Initially following the vote, I was angry and it showed though.

The "all countryside people are massive racists" was said with a bit of tongue in cheek, although I was really basing it on the experiences I've had outside of London (admittedly, not in Wales), seeing people walking around with #FreeTommyRobinson tshirts, an unhealthy obsession with the Union Jack and people making snide and sometimes very open and incredibly hostile comments against my (London born) Asian girlfriend.

But I take your point and will try to be less judgemental in future.

4 minutes ago, PowerButchi said:

No offence intended, but a lack of understanding is a theme of yours over the past couple of months. Everyone isn't you, people have their own foibles but are to be taken on an individual basis. Think the best of them

Huh. Genuinely interested in what makes you say that? I hadn't noticed myself exhibiting a lack of understanding in recent months. Any particular instances you could point me towards?

I agree with the second part entirely though.

Alex Shane did a shoot interview? A proper one, with one single camera, badly lit room with someone behind the camera asking barely audible questions for three hours? One of those shoot interviews?

Our today and noticed that some shops have a system where those who are disabled or less able to stand in long queues get to jump to the front. Which is fine. Except it turns out pregnant women get this same treatment.

Now, I understand that being about ready to pop must be very uncomfortable, but is it really on that a pregnant lady gets to jump (a massive) queue? My leg where I had my surgery fucking kills after a few hours walking about, but I wouldn't even dream of going to the queue jumping area. I don't know. Perhaps I should just should be a bit more understanding. It just kind of annoyed me in the.moment.

Although one benefit of this is that I can bring back my standup bit about Baby on Board  badges on public transport and add this into it!

7 hours ago, Devon Malcolm said:

Judging by the volume of that stuff you drink, you were probably healthier on the grog.

Depends what your definition of healthy is. I'm certainly not rampaging through the streets of Tottenham until the cops arrive to take me away because I've had too much Pepsi Max Cherry.

In another example of being a bad neighbour, in the same home we are discussing, in a fit of drunken hatred for myself, I once punched out my own bedroom window. Of course, I cut the absolute shite put of my hand and arm and there was blood not just all over my room, but in all the common areas as well. When I got back from the hospital, I did my best to clean up and then had no window to close in the dead of winter.

I was really fucked up back then. And my therapist reckons I should embrace those elements of personality again? He's a mad man.

I wonder if the FWA had had the foresight to get into selling DVDs of their shows anywhere and everywhere they could, might it have made a difference in them potentially still being around today? And no doubt if they were still around today, they'd be selling DVDs via post while the streaming/over the top revolution is going on all around them.

So, I've finally reached the age where a doctor is going to have to look and probably feel up my anus.

I've noticed a small, but still quite sizable, lump on my anus the last few weeks. I was hoping it would just go away, but it hasn't so I've booked in to see the doctor next week and am convinced I have anus cancer.

Of all the cancers I could get, I think anus is the worst one just from a telling people perspective. In fact, if I do have anus cancer, I'm going to tell people I have a different, less gross form.

If you're not Alex Shane, who are you?

Elisar: how was the online fan base (basically this place) viewed by those running the company? It's a long time ago so much memories aren't super clear but while I do remember lots of excitement around for example which import would be coming in for whatever show, I also remember many threads that were based in criticism of the promotion for one reason or another and am curious as to what if any reaction those involved had to that?

I don't think Gervais is a good standup at all. But he has a built in audience that means he can fill venues anyone else with his level of talent for standup wouldn't be able to. Honestly, he's middling at best.

4 hours ago, Devon Malcolm said:

Obviously I should have bolded 'you' in my original post. I don't think even SpursRiot would let SpursRiot near his own prayer mat with a beer.

2010/11 SpursRiot certainly not. 2018 SpursRiot? You're only risking a little bit of Pepsi Max Cherry on it.

Three wrestlers dying in a single day (more or less) is a big enough story to hit the BBC News website.

Really shitty day.

13 hours ago, Devon Malcolm said:

This doesn't make any sense. Why did he let you have beer in his room in the first place?

I don't really remember. Although he did smoke a lot of weed, so I wouldn't say he was the strictest of practicing Muslims.

I have a story in which the bad neighbour was me.

During a particularly shitty time in my life, I was almost basically homeless. Luckily a housing charity was able to find me a room in a shared house. I shared the house with three Somalian Muslims and I was drinking a lot at the time.

One time, the upstairs guy invited me to hang out in his room. One thing led to another and I accidently spilt beer on his prayer rug. Needless to say, he wasn't pleased.

5 hours ago, Devon Malcolm said:

And you complain about rural racists!

But these people aren't from London originally, you see. Although most of them would no doubt self-describe as liberal, so they certainly are hypocrites.

Most of my neighbours are people who've moved to London and found themselves living in a new development in Tottenham. Since they're not from London, they get scared every time they see a black guy in a hoodie hanging around and post about it in the residents Facebook group.

1 hour ago, PowerButchi said:

You're missing out on all the tranquility, beauty, clean air, history, culture and inherently better pubs that the countryside provides on a daily basis.

That's all well and good but what about all the racists?

The term "liberal/metropolitan elite" being used as an insult about how out of touch people who live in multicultural, multilayered 21st-century cities are isn't actually an insult. In fact, generally, if you're *not* a city-dweller, you're more likely than not a fucking idiot.

16 minutes ago, Bellenda Carlisle said:

Didn't know where to put this but in case anyone wants to see something cool; there's going to be a blood moon eclipse tomorrow, it should be visible between 20:50 and midnight, it will be at its apex at 21:20.

That's a yearly thing right?

Eh, I'll catch it next time.

Jesus fucking what? You pay four grand year to commute?

These rail franchises are a fucking racket.