John Matrix

My 6yo son came down with a runny nose and sore throat last last night - by this morning he’d woken with a shit of a cough and slight temperature.

Now without wishing to sound blasé, I’m as certain as I can be that it’s just a nasty cold - first week back at school after 19odd weeks away etc, but you know, rules is rules.

Had a look online and found one of our local media outlets listing three mobile testing stations in our area, albeit only one open today, plus the permanent drive through one which has been open from the start.

Logged on and completed the application/booking form and am told there are no sites available, not no slots, no sites.  Now I know that’s bollocks, but thought maybe they’d classed it as a drive through, not a walk through, changed filter and BAM...no testing sites available!!

So after persevering for a bit, I take the suggested action which is to call 119.

After an hour on hold, I get through to a lady who takes all my information, punches it into the system, and finally, she confirms for me...there are no test sites available.  Because they are using the same fucking website we do!!

Her only advice was “we do get occasional bookings, so please keep refreshing throughout the day to see if anything comes up”  suffice to say it’s now 6:30pm and there’s been precisely fuck all change all day.

Now, after Christ knows how long stuck in the house together, and finally reaching the glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel, we look set to be stuck at home for another fortnight because we can’t get a test to disprove it, and you know full well I’ll be told to get fucked if I turn up at the school gates on Monday with a hocking, spluttering child in tow.

Give me fucking STRENGTH!

It’s a shite, paid post, so you might want to boycott it on that basis alone, but the sheer mentalness of this raised a giggle on the nursery run this morning..

https://facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=1610199215848392&id=338282886373371

(sorry, can’t seem to get it to embed)

7 minutes ago, seph said:

Pedro moved to Swansea, Chaz is down in Dorset. I'd probably have bumped into them if the season was on (in fact, it'd be done about nowish)

Ha, it’s the same reason nearly everything I own to this day is Royal blue and black!  Ah, god love em, blimey it’s been a while.

On 7/6/2020 at 11:56 AM, seph said:

New running shoes! Still Gel Kayano 25s, the 26s don't have good reviews out. I'll see what the 27s are like around Christmas.

And in Aztecs colours too!  Nice touch.  Send my love to Chaz and Pedro.

Jesus, so i'm sat at home, minding my own business, watching Rocky V - I know, I know - It's alright you know, and that Elton John track at the end is a belter - but anyway, if this isn't one of the worst fucking things i've seen in a long time...

I had a message out of the blue from an old friend on LinkedIn, who reminded me that some 14 years ago, we’d head out somewhere, the two of us with a video camera and shoot fight scenes.

This is the only one that survived in full and whilst it’s obviously TERRIBLE, it’s frankly a sodding masterpiece all things considered.

The earlier two in the series haven’t survived, but he did find this gif on an old hard drive, taken from Fighter One shot some two years earlier and boy, if this isn’t a 16 year old gif!

Just now, chokeout said:

Lovely stuff. Biggest learning curve you can get is going to a graphics tablet and changing the entire way you do hand eye coordination to draw. Looking forward to more! 

Aint that the truth.  After about half an hour I felt my kidney tucked round the front because i'd been sat with such a kink trying to over compensate by not being able to look at what my hand was doing.  

Fucking embaressed posting these directly after @chokeout and @Monkee's efforts, but balls to it.  Bought a graphics tablet at the weekend, bit of a birthday treat, and whilst it's been fucking yonks since I ever tried to draw anything, and both my use of colour and stroke weight is as primitive as it ever was, i've quite enjoyed just fucking about with it and working pretty loose.

Both 10-15 minute efforts with the bare minimum colour palette.

I feel like I need to see this...

Spectacular thread this, thought i'd get bored after the first few, but it really is eye opening...

Just, you know... pull that off once, fair play to you.  Do it over and over again...   Madness.

I can’t remember if it was @wandshogun09 or @Egg Shen who mentioned that guy who does the fucking Matrix escapes, or if this is even the same guy.  If it is, then christ...

56 minutes ago, Tommy! said:

Your suit isn't, it's a point of UKFF lore. Your Marty Janette ankle however.....

 

You're a class bloke though, there's no doubt on that front.

You've not looked close enough mate.

1 hour ago, Tommy! said:

What the fucks going on with your ankle and or shoe?

Mate, this is not new information.  The trousers were a 34” leg, I’m a 28.  The jacket was the right size, but at the start of my journey to becoming a fat cunt, so I couldn’t do it up.  
 

A shocker all round.

5 hours ago, PunkStep said:

Nice pose there, @John Matrix

Dunno what the fuck you lot are on about...

9 minutes ago, Supremo said:

Yeah, it’s the last bit that makes it. Like he realises he’s still angry even after letting all the rage out.

Totally.  It’s almost Tourette’s like, you can hear he doesn’t even have the breath left to say it, but it has to come out.  I’m still laughing now!

4 minutes ago, Supremo said:

This made me laugh. In another life Scott Coker and Bellator would be trying to book the trilogy fight.

Yeah, bit much for me that.  Then goes and saves it with *pause* FUCK OFF.  PRICK! At the end.  That’s up there with “weak as piss” in terms of unnecessary swearies.

A little something for you Tricolore fans out there.

26 minutes ago, RIDDUM_N_STYLE said:

Not to be harsh on you, but there’s more important things going on in the world right now

I can’t help but think this is the guy referred to who contacted the speaking out movement to tell his own story, and they had to make a statement to say “not this sort of shit please”

Fucking hell mate, it’s not ideal I get it, but if I send you £11 do you think you’d be able to move on?

2 hours ago, leedsben said:

I got blocked on twitter a couple of weeks ago by asking about the Kris Travis DVD which was never produced.

and you're so aggrieved by it, you're going to search for every PCW thread and bump them all?

18 minutes ago, neil said:

Wow, I didn't even know there was a full version of the theme. Simply amazing

Likewise.  Purchased immediately and will be played often without any sense of irony.  Absolute masterpiece.

Fucking hell Butcher!  What a find.  To think all these years, I thought there wasn’t a way to improve on perfection.

Was hunting for an old photo when I found some pictures from 2008, and a trip to watch TNA tapings at Universal.  Look at that match for a freebie, and for anyone curious, what a fresh faced 27 year old Matrix looked like at the Impact Zone.

EDIT:  Ha, I just noticed Sting's tron.  Good old TNA.