Up Chuck

They don't need to properly turn Cena for a match with Ryback. Just have him heel it up a little bit here and there. Talk him down in the go-home promo, maybe nick that thing from Punk/Joe 3 in ROH where Joe got desperate and put his feet on the ropes.

I haven't read anything myself, but Tribute to the Troops is on Wednesday, so it might be that they're taping.

I find best wrestler lists that don't include Cena increasingly hilarious year-on-year. I just can't fathom anyone watching, say, the Night of Champions match with Punk and saying "Oh yeah, total carry job, that". It's laughable that this shit's making it into a published magazine. I'd say we should start our own, but as print media's dying, I'm not sure I can be arsed.

Retro! I like it. Logical time to change it, too, even though I did really like the old one.

That piledriver on the ladder looks fine - it's a gimmicked ladder that they've set up fairly securely, and all the impact is on Steen's arse, which can easily take it. The back body drop is worse but again, gimmicked ladder. There's been more gruesome stuff in Money in the Bank matches. They're both risky, but that rolling suplex out of the ring that Richards and Edwards did was a hundred times more retarded and dangerous.

The table one is the worst of the bunch. It looks like Haas (if it's him) didn't do much at all. If he'd actually got involved and thrown Whitmer (if it's him) properly, he would've made it through the table safely. As it is, he just ends up sort of pushing on him a little bit. Really stupid and lazy. If you're doing any kind of suplex and only one guy puts in the effort, the guy taking it is going to end up on his head. Almost all the blame there lies with Haas, with a tiny bit going to whoever decided to set the table up so far away in the first place.

Matches with imports have counted in the past, yeah. I think as long as it's not all imports you're generally okay.

They were on Kevin Steen's team in Chikara's big 18-man Cibernetico match, most of which was ROH guys.

Best moment

- Hallowicked submits Mike Bennett with the Chikara special to win the King of Trios for the Spectral Envoy: The perfectly-pitched finish to my frontrunner for MOTY. I jumped up and down like a child.

- Brock Lesnar busts Cena's lip: It was already an epic. This made it white-hot. Like Mayweather on Big Show before him, Lesnar landing a real punch and drawing blood was the massive x factor this one needed, and was the perfect setup for a match that didn't disappoint.

- Austin Aires wins the TNA World Championship: Me and former UKFFers Alexander and NBT were round mine to watch the UFC from the night before, and decided to stay up for Destination X on a whim. And man, were we ever glad we did. A fitting peak to a wonderful rise. Aries was the absolute best of TNA for the vast majority of this year, and to see them pull the trigger in front of an unusually rabid Impact Zone crowd and give him the title run he deserved was beautiful. Also, in the grander scheme of things, it was a wonderful antidote to them stalling with Samoa Joe during his initial hot streak a few years back, as well as seeing a guy we'd watched in leisure centres and village halls in Kent main-eventing a PPV in America (it's not quite Daniel Bryan at Wrestlemania, but still).

Biggest anticlimax

- Devon's unmasking: "This is awkward!" *clap clap clapclapclap*

- Brad Maddox costs Ryback the WWE Championship: We knew weeks in advance that whatever they did was going to be disappointing. That doesn't excuse what they did from being disappointing.

- The Royal Rumble match: A couple of nice moments, but chronically lacking in star power. Let's hope they bust out Lesnar and Triple H next month, at the very least.

Funniest moment

- Kane's life story: I must have watched this a hundred times. Funniest thing in forever.

- Shawn Michaels & Billy Gunn's fight over whose line it was: So good, I almost didn't mind Shawn Michaels being back on my fucking television, again.

- The game of duck-duck-goose during the 8-man tag, Chikara King of Trios night 3:

Best bang for your buck

- Titus O'Neil: Great look, perfectly acceptable in the ring, buckets of charisma, one hundred percent convincing. Darren Young is a fine wingman, but the Big Deal is the best thing in the tag division that isn't Team Hell No.

- Dean Ambrose: He hasn't wrestled and has only been around for a few weeks, but man, this guy's selling the whole Shield angle to me. He looks crazed when he jumps on people and his couple of promos so far have been bang on the money. I'm expecting a big 2013.

- 3.0: Chikara mainstays Scott Parker and Shane Matthews look, and for the most part wrestle, like your average indy guys. However, they're charismatic, over as fuck and always pull out a fun match wherever they are on the card and whatever they're required to do. Good at serious, good at comedy. Good at meaningless, good at title-chasing. The definition of "solid".

Best non-wrestler

- Paul Heyman: The only reason anything about CM Punk's heel turn has stayed afloat. Punk himself has lost some major mojo on the mic this year, and having Heyman as a worshipful mouthpiece-cum-evil doings mastermind has done wonders for him. Furthermore, the implied affiliation with Brock made everyone involved feel more big-time by association, and the possibilities for the months leading up to Wrestlemania are intriguing. Heyman's been great for Punk both practically and theoretically. He's a sleazy bastard who delivers his lines well and acts well. It's been great having him back on TV.

- Wink Vavasseur: Chikara's diminutive Director of Fun is another guy who, like Heyman, could never be a wrestler, but is just so perfectly suited for an on-screen role. Entirely believable as a smarmy, self-involved boss who just doesn't get the heart and soul of the company. One of his biggest strengths as a character is that he has plausible-but-still-hateable reasons for doing dickish things to the babyfaces (mostly centred around an unexplained mathematical algorithm called "Chikarabametrics"), which is an absolute necessity for a promotion as storyline-driven as Chikara. On top of that (or indeed, perhaps because of that) he has tons of heat. I can't wait to see Eddie Kingston deck him, and I don't even like Eddie Kingston that much.

- Ricardo Rodriguez: Another top year as Del Rio's long-suffering underling. Brilliant facial acting, quality bumper when required, and as it happens, pretty great at announcing too. Adds a ton to Del Rio's character, which sorely needs it at times.

Poster of the year

- Chikara King of Trios artwork, viewable here: Chikara always do some nice stuff with their artwork, and their flagship this year was a fine example of it. It's just so joyful seeing all the wrestlers laid out like that. You can span almost the entire spectrum of the wrestling world looking through that page, and they're all presented as equals. Brings a tear to my eye.

- All the stuff on the Comic Wrestling Alliance Facebook page. A variety of stuff for a variety of purpose by a variety of artists, and the one thing they have in common is that they're bloody great.

- Wrestlemania XXVIII: It's simple and beautiful, but we all know that, BUT: they're standing in front of the wrong colour thunder. Fucked me right off, that did. I almost considered leaving it off my vote out of principle.

GTFO

DISCLAIMER: Some of these may not count. I don't care.

- Shawn Michaels: Can't help but be a hammy attention-seeking bellend every time there's a camera in his face. Detracted massively from the build to both Triple H's matches this year. Flair getting straight back into the ring, getting his arse out all round Australia then flapping about in a wheelchair in TNA is still ten times more graceful a retirement than this.

- Kaitlin's entrance music: Horrible keyboard mess. Piss off.

- The idea of AJ Styles and Christopher Daniels ever wrestling each other again: A million movez, fake illegitimate children, attempted murder by screwdriver, and they end it with one stealing the other's finisher? Not buying it. I know they said it was the last time, but I won't properly relax until one of them dies.

Well that's just about the weirdest fucking thing ever.

Edit: Apparently they're just doing one song, a new one they wrote together.

Just seen Seven Psychopaths. Need to dwell on it some more, but in the immediate afterglow, I'm thinking...

Sod it, I'm doing reasons.

Wrestler of the year

- John Cena: Everything he's been involved with has been fantastic. In 12 months, he's had crackers with two guys who between them had wrestled one match in the last eight years. He's also had another absolutely stunning effort with CM Punk, managing to make a B-PPV main event feel like a big deal before it happened, the BIGGEST deal while it was happening and an all-time classic afterwards. He's been the constant in every great main event WWE have done this year.

- Sheamus: He's still the most hit-and-miss guy in the company on the mic, but in the ring he's been flawless this year. Which is not what I expected from him at all when he got to WWE, frankly. He's stepped up massively and is now one of the most reliable guys in the company on TV or PPV - and he judges the difference between those perfectly, too.

- Austin Aries: The best thing going in TNA by miles. Fully deserved his face turn and title run, and whether he's been face or heel, he's had the Impact Zone in the palm of his hand in every single big match.

Worst wrestler

- Tensai: What a massive disappointment. Needs to go back to Japan where he suits the style better and has a genuine chance of being top dog. Hasn't gelled with anyone, hasn't shown anything special, hasn't looked arsed about any of it.

- Jinder Mahal: Mister fast-forward. One can only hope he'll pick up a bit now he's got a character that would logically have him doing more than stomping, looking angry and the Camel Clutch.

- Mr. Anderson: Is to "cocky" what Jinder Mahal was to "Indian" (A boring wrestler who is also that thing, inconsequentially).

Best face

- John Cena: Let's forget about the Eve stuff and the AJ stuff. Cena was the perfect babyface in everything he did that mattered this year. Brilliant as the true top guy haunting Punk's title reign, brilliant as the defender of the company against Lesnar, and so brilliant as the honest fighting man in contrast to the phony, self-important Hollywood Rock that if I were a rich man I'd have bought a ticket and turned up at the Sun Life Stadium in jean shorts and a baseball cap. Cena is the fucking man, and anyone still caught up in how he wasn't all that good when they first pushed him to the main event could've got to fuck six years ago, never mind now. He sells shitloads of merch. He does the media stuff perfectly. He cuts the best promos in the company when he's on form. He makes people emotionally invest in his feuds, and as such, his opponents. He has great matches with everyone. He's THE man. That means dealing with shit getting thrown at him from time to time, but unlike everyone else in the company except Daniel Bryan, he always manages to rise above it when it matters.

- Jeff Hardy: The redemption story was there for the taking, and TNA and Hardy have conspired to take it supremely. Great in-ring performances and the strongest connection with TNA audiences out of anyone, including the old masters Sting and Hogan. Knocking on WWE's door, and just like last time this happened, rightly so. TNA deserve massive, massive props for sticking with him.

- Frightmare: The ultimate underdog. Tiny, brilliant seller, does stuff nobody else can do. Wouldn't work in so many places in the wrestling world, but works so well in Chikara. A prime example of how good that company is at giving guys gimmicks they can work. Everyone has their little ball to run with, and to a man, they all at the very least do it fairly well. Frightmare does it wicked-good.

Best heel

- Daniel Bryan: It's almost been forgotten with Rock, Lesnar, Team Hell No, the year of Punk, the rise of Ryback and whatever else, but January 2012 will forever be Daniel Bryan month. A magnificently-executed turn, and a red-hot streak of being the most hated man in WWE. Everything since then has been gold. Worthy of particular mention is his flawless ability to strike the perfect balance between clown and public enemy. Taking the best guy on the indies, who's gone around the world, wrestled everyone he can, learnt everything he could, and putting him through WWE developmental before pushing him to a position where he can get the best out of everyone around him turned out to be a fucking brilliant idea. Who'd have thought?

- Mike Bennett: Speaking of the best stuff on the indies. Bennett screams big-time no matter what surroundings you put him in. Maria helps with that significantly, but the man himself is a good-looking, well-built, utterly punchable bellend. The perfect indy heel? Quite possibly.

- Christopher Daniels: A stunning transformation from guy-who-does-some-poses-but-doesn't-reeally-have-a-gimmick into the appletini-sipping sleazeball. His textbook cowardly heel stuff is the perfect example of why keeping it simple is the best idea. Great year. Long may it continue, as long as he STOPS WRESTLING AJ STYLES FOR EVER.

Best tag-team

- Team Hell No: What's left to say? Classic odd-couple pairing that everyone's been raving about all year, with both men playing their part to perfection. Perhaps the greatest strength of this story, though, is how obvious it is that Kane's having the time of his life doing goofy bollocks.

- The Young Bucks: Smarmy dickheads extraordinaire. They're really hitting on the reasons people find them so objectionable, and everything about them is all the better for it. You just want to see the little twats get KILLED.

- The World Tag Team Champions of the World: The best thing either guy has done, ever. The first time I've found either guy entertaining since first becoming aware of them. Did their best with the worst wrestling storyline in years. Top marks.

Best performance

- John Cena at Extreme Rules: Not a carry job by any stretch of the imagination, but Cena's heart-and-fire character was at its absolute best here, digging down deep to defend his turf against this beast. Promo afterwards was perfect, too, beautifully winning over the Chicago crowd that had been baying for his blood less than a year before.

- Frightmare selling his knee at Chikara King of Trios: The ultimate underdog gives the ultimate underdog performance. The x factor in a near-perfect weekend-long story. See my last MOTY nomination for more.

- Santino Marella in the Smackdown Elimination Chamber match, WWE Elimination Chamber: This is why the man has a job. No matter how bad the shit they write for him gets sometimes, when called upon to take things up a notch, he's brilliant. Here, like in the qualifying battle royale and at the end of the 2011 Rumble, Santino pitched things perfectly and ended up getting the best reaction of the night. The best showing of his career.

Best feud

- John Cena vs Brock Lesnar: Had everything that Rock/Cena was missing. A fresh segment every week in the buildup, and that little bit of grit that made it so exciting. Blossomed perfectly into a great match.

- CM Punk vs John Cena, pre-Summerslam to Survivor Series: Particularly the month preceding Night of Champions. In terms of giving significance and status to a title match, it reminded me a lot of Cena/Batista in the buildup to WM26. Excellent mic work from both men, and just so much IMPORTANCE. And the match at NoC was stunning. Possibly even better than Money in the Bank 2011.

- The Spectral Envoy vs Delirious and his various minions, Chikara: A great example of Chikara's skill at playing the long game and having multiple high points in a feud. The return of Crossbones at King of Trios was incredibly well-done, as were the Batiri's attempts to cost the Envoy their place in the tournament whenever they could. The blowoff at Under the Hood was tons of fun despite the obvious ring rust of Crossbones and Blind Rage, epitomising how Chikara has inherited ECW's crown of hiding weaknesses and emphasising strengths.

Match of the year

- John Cena vs Brock Lesnar, WWE Extreme Rules: The word that sums this one up for me is "spectacle". Unbelievably brutal for a modern WWE match, but the key for me was how beautifully paced it was. They knew exactly when to go on a hot streak and when to let it burn slow, and it was a masterful performance from both men, narrowly beating out Rock vs Cena on my nominations and sharing many of the same strengths.

- CM Punk vs John Cena (WWE Championship), WWE Night of Champions: Like I said before, this might even top their MITB 2011 encounter in my personal stakes. An absolute epic and one of the best WWE Championship matches there has ever been, and did more for the status and importance of that title than anything else has for a long time.

- The Spectral Envoy vs Team ROH (King of Trios final), Chikara King of Trios night 3: It's no coincidence that all 3 of my MOTY candidates come from my feud of the year candidates. Storytelling IS wrestling, and nobody does it better than Chikara. This was the pinnacle of an entire weekend of incredibly well-built tension and emotion. The Envoy as the underdogs, being assailed at every opportunity by Delirious and his crew and with their smallest man hurt, battling for the forces of good against the arrogant dickhead outsiders who nicked the company's tag titles, then brought along a WWE diva to its biggest show of the year just to show off. Superb character work from everyone involved. Bennett and the Young Bucks just made themselves so fucking hateable, acting all big-time with their titles and Playboy centrefold valet, and they were the perfect foil for the Envoy's underdog act. The match mirrored the tournament by building everything perfectly to a climax, and Hallowicked tapping Bennett with the Chikara Special had me jumping up and down in pure fucking joy. All I could talk about for the next week was how much I fucking love wrestling. Beautiful.

Given how rocky Cabana's relationship with WWE was last time, I wouldn't be surprised if things fell apart again at literally any stage, so if there's any future bookings he hasn't cancelled, I think he's just hedging his bets.

Factoid: if Cabana does go back to WWE and wins the US title, he'll be the first man to have held the NWA and US titles since Terry Funk (Wiki counts the WWE and NWA/WCW US title as the same one).

Only 2 people I've never heard of! That's a better hit rate than most indy posters.

That "Only date north of Leicester" line slayed me. I wish I could've had that poster at uni as conclusive proof that I'm not northern.

The Stew thread's here, if that's what you were looking for. I loved Carpet Remnant World live. It felt a bit disjointed in places, but that was largely the point, and the way it all tied together so perfectly at the end had me more convinced of his genius than ever.

It still doesn't make sense. Not just for the reason you highlighted, but why does he have to eliminate someone if he's in the Rumble? And was this ever even true in the first place?

Fair point, didn't think of that. And if you mean his not being in the Rumble because they didn't want him breaking Michaels' record, then I have no idea. I can't remember that being reported anywhere (and, of course, why would it have been? It's a non-story).

I think the worst thing (for me) about last years Rumble was the absence of Kane. They broke his streak of 11 (I Think) consecutive Rumbles, and all because they don't want him breaking HBK's record for most eliminations

 

The worst thing for me was that it was shit.

Yeah, its worst flaw was a massive lack of star power. Kane chasing down a barely-mentioned record would hardly have fixed that.

Most total eliminations in all their appearances, I think he means. But I don't remember them ever making a particularly big deal of Michaels having that record.

In terms of two guys squaring up and getting a huge reaction, the one I remember is Austin and Rock during the 6-man Hell in a Cell at Armageddon 2000. There was a lesser one during a Rumble after the brand split where the Raw and Smackdown guys split and lined up against each other, before they all teamed up to murder Muhammad Hassan.

I've asked for it to be changed, which I was planning to do anyway. God, this is as shit as that time at school when some lad in the year below told me to get a haircut when I had one booked for that evening anyway, then when I came to school the next day with it chopped off he went around saying I'd done it because I was shit scared of him.

This place would probably have been the best if we hadn't purged a shitload of threads.

Same goes for opcws. Get a proper name, you wankers.

Totally agree on Opcws, or whatever it is. Superb poster, terrible name. Get it changed fella!

Reported.

Here's a shit, tiny picture of the Illusions Theater set up for boxing:

And another, much better one, looking away from the stage. I'm thinking ECW-Hammerstein-style hard camera above the entranceway:

EDIT: Actually, there's a seating chart that shows up some possible side seating. Looks like it could work with the entranceway on the stage or in the corner:

(link, because it won't work as an image)

And as for the other subject being discussed, obviously Steiners vs Henchmen is the answer.

UKIP got a gain of 15.87% in Rotherham, taking them from 5.92% to 21.79%. Absolutely no doubt that the adoption case had a massive effect there. Only UKIP and Labour got a bigger percentage of the vote than UKIP gained.

Although it could easily be a spliced-together before-and-after photo of the same guy over about 6 months of eating nowhere but that McDonald's.

Just got an error page for the main page. Said DNS something, I think.

EDIT: And a few more a few minutes after that.