CAREBEAR LUVVA

The PowerWash Simulator Final Fantasy VII DLC is out today. My game hasn't updated yet (keeping me hanging like Ann from Tunnock's), and I've no interest in Final Fantasy whatsoever, but I'm very much looking forward to having more stuff to clean. Apparently they've even added a new type of dirt!

How long does it take to get an email from Ann? I sent her a nice story a couple of days ago but she hasn't acknowledged it at all. I really want one of those Snowballs tea towels though. Might have to buy one.

The best bit of Atomic Heart was when it plays the song from Derek and Clive's "The Horn" (well, the original piece, but to me it's The Horn). It inspired me to turn the game off and listen to D&C instead, which feels like was probably the right decision. 

Holy shit, that looks absolutely diabolical! I sort of want to watch it, but it (probably thankfully) doesn't seem to be available from the usual sources.

17 hours ago, jazzygeofferz said:

Duncan Norvelle? The "Chase me, chase me" guy? Yikes. There's a car crash waiting to happen.

He had a stroke a few years ago (surely the most appropriate ailment for a saucy 70s comedian) and now uses a wheelchair to get around. I saw an interview not too long ago where he said that these days, instead of telling punters to "chase me", he now asks them to "push me".

Quite right, I managed to fuck up the example by using the correct word! I must've caught the stupidity from the speaker today who definitely got it wrong several times!

4 hours ago, SuperBacon said:

Online training, Friday afternoon from 2.45 to 4.45.

Fuck off.

On a similar note, in-person training 9-5 on the last day before half term when the last thing anyone wants to do is sit and be talked at all day, with added aggravation provided by one of the speakers who was desperately trying to be all formal but kept using the wrong "I / me" (eg. "that's something that my colleagues and I are looking into" - NO!) . We did get a free slap-up lunch though, which at least took the edge off a bit. But all the food made it difficult to stay awake during the afternoon session, which felt like it lasted for at least 10 hours. Rubbish.

Here's one:

Harehills Working Men's Club, the supremely glamorous site of Pie & Peas Mania (AKA LPW Nemesis: A Real Treat).

Good timing. The free PowerWash Simulator DLC is out today, so you can go to Lara Croft's house and clean it in 4K. They've announced a Final Fantasy DLC today too.

It's a separate game mode where you collect cards which represent the roster that's available to you in that mode, with each card defining the stats of each particular wrestler. In theory, better cards mean better / stronger wrestlers, but in practise there didn't seem to be too much of a difference between the various rarities of cards in 2K22. You can get new cards by playing the game, or you can use real money to buy randomised packs of cards, but there's no guarantee of getting whichever wrestler you might actually want. It's a "clever" way of adding hundreds of hours to the overall content, as it takes ages to upgrade your decks through normal play. Or if you want to be slightly more cynical about it (rightly so, in this case), it's a way of encouraging impatient players to stump up extra cash for what are pretty much loot boxes in all but name. 

A load of info about 2K23 (including the release date) has been announced this afternoon:

• 2K Showcase Starring John Cena: Conquering John Cena in the ring is an accolade few Superstars can claim. In an unprecedented twist on the 2K Showcase, players will step into the boots of several of Cena's toughest competitors with one goal in mind: defeat the man who will "Never Give Up." Spanning his 20-year WWE career and narrated by Cena himself, this interactive sports entertainment documentary uses 2K's unique Slingshot Tech for a seamless transition from gameplay to live-action footage to bring pivotal moments in each match to life;

• WarGames: The fan-favorite, chaotic and action-packed WarGames makes its debut in WWE 2K23 and delivers heart-pounding 3v3 and 4v4 single player or multiplayer mayhem inside two side-by-side rings, surrounded by a double-steel cage;

• MyGM: Now featuring more GMs to choose from – or a player's own custom GM creation – as well as additional show options, multiple seasons, expanded match cards, and more match types for up to four players. Players draft a roster, manage budgets, sign free agents, choose various match types, arena locations, production elements and more, with the goal of beating a rival GM in weekly ratings battles;

• MyFACTION: Now featuring online multiplayer action, the team-building mode in which players collect, manage, and upgrade an array of WWE Superstars and Legends to create their ultimate four-person factions returns. Players can now take their faction online and compete for global dominance, or compete in Weekly Towers and Faction Wars, while new themed card packs and goals roll out regularly throughout the year**;

• MyRISE: Aspiring Superstars walk through the curtain for their WWE debut in MyRISE and shape their career with the decisions made along the way. Featuring distinct men's and women's division storylines and the ability to import custom created Superstars, players journey from the humble beginnings of a Rookie, to being immortalized as a WWE Legend;

• Universe: The ultimate WWE Universe sandbox that puts players in charge of their own version of WWE, from Superstar rosters, feuds, champions, weekly shows, and Premium Live Events! Updates to Universe include a reworked story system and more;

• Creation Suite: A signature feature of the WWE 2K franchise, the creation suite returns with cross-platform community creations, including the ability to design custom Superstars, GMs, arenas, entrances, move sets, championships and more. Custom arenas are now playable online, and advanced customization has been added to created entrances.

• The Standard Edition will be available for £49.99 on PC, and for £59.99 on previous-gen platforms (PS4, Xbox One consoles) and for £69.99 on current-gen consoles (PS5 and Xbox Series X|S) in both physical and digital formats;

• The Cross-Gen edition will be available digitally for £69.99 on PlayStation and Xbox consoles. The Cross-Gen edition includes the Standard Edition across previous and current-gen platforms within the same console family and the same PlayStation or Xbox account

• The Deluxe Edition will be available for £89.99 for PS4, PS5, Xbox Series X|S, and Xbox One in both physical and digital formats, and on PC in digital format. The Deluxe Edition includes the Standard Edition, Bad Bunny Bonus Pack, plus a Season Pass to all five post-launch DLC content packs****; the MyRISE Mega-Boost and SuperCharger; Ruby John Cena MyFACTION Evo Card, Gold Edge MyFACTION Card, Emerald Bianca Belair MyFACTION Card, Gold Asuka MyFACTION Card, and three Basic Premium Launch MyFACTION Card Packs. The Deluxe Edition will be available from March 14, 2023 – three days ahead of Standard and Cross-Gen Editions!

• The Icon Edition will be available for £104.99 for PS4, PS5, Xbox Series X|S, Xbox One, and PC, featuring original cover art by renowned WWE-inspired artist Rob Schamberger. In addition to the Standard Edition and all bonus content included in the Deluxe Edition, the Icon Edition includes the Ruthless Aggression Pack, celebrating 20 years of John Cena's WWE career by featuring John Cena's early "Prototype" character, as well as "Leviathan" Batista, developmental rookie versions of Brock Lesnar and Randy Orton, the John Cena Legacy Championship and WrestleMania 22 Arena. Additional bonus content includes an Emerald Paul Heyman MyFACTION Manager Card, and three Deluxe Premium Launch MyFACTION Card Packs. The Icon Edition will be available from March 14, 2023 – three days ahead of Standard and Cross-Gen Editions!

• Bad Bunny Bonus Pack Pre-Order Offer: Players who pre-ordered the Standard Edition and Cross-Gen Digital Bundle will receive the Bad Bunny Bonus Pack, which includes Bad Bunny as a playable character, as well as a Ruby tier Bad Bunny MyFACTION card. The Bad Bunny Bonus Pack is included in the Deluxe Edition and Icon Edition at launch.

A few days ago I overheard a bunch of 16-18 year old students (I work in education, so this was nothing sinister!) talking about what the best game of 2022 was. They decided it was Powerwash Simulator. Sometimes the youngsters do get things right.

Add to that, people who don't know what an ellipsis actually is, and happily use four, five or even more dots......

Scarborough Council cancelled their new years fireworks display because a walrus had taken up residence on the beach. The walrus showed its appreciation for their consideration by having a big old wank.

https://twitter.com/mediumsoup/status/1609002212214116352?t=B9xRz2NWay_klrgTRMpDzQ&s=19

George Carlin explains it quite well:

"Think about how stupid the average person is, then realise half of them are even stupider than that".

Fucking hell fire. Him and VLS on the same day. Absolutely shit.

Camera up the jacksie, is it? Ask them if you can watch the screen while they're doing it. Makes the time go a bit quicker.

I played it on the Series X. There was a tiny bit of stuttering once or twice, but only while walking around, so it didn't really affect anything. 

It's a strange game, really. It was enjoyable enough to bother making it to the end, so it's not like it was complete rubbish, but it just falls short in too many areas to make it worth recommending to anyone else. 

Just finished The Callisto Protocol. Only took 9 and a bit hours. It's almost good, but the level design is really uninspired (it looks like every other space-based game you've ever played, and relies far too heavily on forcing you through vents, up and down ladders, and squeezing theough tight spaces) and the quirky dodge mechanic (which is tied to your movement on the left stick) can't cope with more than one enemy at a time, making combat way more awkward than it otherwise might have been. Navigation's a bit of a nightmare too, with checkpoints often locking you out of fully exploring an area. It looks and sounds great, but that's pretty much the only highlight. The story's not up to much either - if you've ever seen a sci-fi film (really, any of them) then you can pretty much guess where it's going within the first few minutes. A very disappointing 5 out of 10.

Far Cry disappeared up its own arse after 3 / Blood Dragon (with the exception of Primal, which is way better than everyone says). That one with the cult wasn't too bad until loads of enemies start popping up all over the place and forcing you into fights when all you want to do is chill out and explore the map. Infuriating. Anything over a tenner for 4, 5 or 6 is too much.

There are ☹️

Eric's the funny one though.

Ha, quite the opposite here. My save file says I've been playing for an hour and 16 minutes, but it felt like at least 3 or 4 hours had gone by. Really tedious so far. Just let me run around smashing heads in with my axe!

Managed 39 seconds. Anyone do any better?

A lad at work has used the phrase "in rude health" a few times recently when talking about how we're understaffed because so many people are off sick. "We seem to be in particularly rude health at the moment, there's not many of us left", that sort of thing. Problem is, "rude health" means to be in particularly good health, and I haven't got the patience to try to explain it to him.