The Coronation Street thread

[Smeg_&_The_Heads]

It'll be shit unless Curly Watts makes his return

 

He would to every time I've seen him on TV or in an interview he's practically begging them to bring him back.

[thejeffjarrettone]

Won't be as scary as that plane crashing onto Emmerdale Farm. That was the stuff of nightmares years ago.

 

That was quite tasteless too. It happened right around the time of the Lockerbie anniversary.

 

Shit, I remember that. Not entirely sure why, probably something to do with being about 6, but it put me right off my spaghetti bolognese. Couldn't eat it for a month. Not the same meal, obviously.

 

EDIT: On topic: Rita's fucked. She's pushing 80 (on the show), and she's in the shop when the tram goes tits up (apparently). Book her a cab to the morgue.

[Dashing]

How ironic it would be if Rita got sent to the cemetery in a tram disaster after Alan Bradley ended up on the wrong end of one all those years ago, whilst in the process of chasing her to whoop her ass.

[Quentin]

I'm really hoping John Stape cops it. I can't stand him. He looks like a twat with his gormless face and moronic haircut for starters. And I cannot believe that anyone, even a ginger pig-dog, would take him back after him banging a schoolgirl that lives on her street - not to mention kidnapping said schoolgirl (though that has been swept under the carpet and the whole street has forgiven him)

 

Fresh out of prison, he then steals his mate's identity to score a teaching job which he manages to pull off for a bit - and have his wife go along with it.

 

And when said mate comes back and drops dead in his living room he does the only obvious thing - goes on a Weekend At Bernie's like escapade around the street trying not to get caught before dumping the body in a hole in a local building site!

 

Now his sidekick is somehow in love with him and thinks they are having an affair - so he's going to off her as well.

 

And whenever one of his ridiculous lies is on the verge of being exposed he pulls a stupid face straight out of a Three Stooges sketch. The only thing missing is a studio audience going "OOOOOHHHH!!!" and a voice-over saying "WHO ELSE BUT STAPEY???"

 

 

Pie-faced wanker.

[Dashing]

In true IWC fashion, everyone is better as a heel. So when Stone Cold Stape Austin goes fucking booloo and gives Charlotte a side parting with a hammer later this week, I expect this board to explode in love for the nasty bastard.

[Smegma Cake]

Slightly off topic, but at my daughters christening I got two very odd comments. My little brother said I looked like a supply teacher and the DJ at the party said I looked like John Stape from Corrie although he said 'you look like that pedo teacher from Corrie' but I knew who he meant....I wasn't happy.

[IANdrewDiceClay]

Could we get some kind of sweepstack going, like we do for the Royal Rumble? It would be good for us to pick who the first to die is going to be and stuff like that.

 

Or is that incredibly sad and I should just leave this thread now?

[Dashing]

I'm up for a sweepstake Ian. How's it work? Do we all pick a character or what?

[Kata Ha Jime]

All pick our first choice to get bumped off? Sounds morbid and great! I'm in.

[IANdrewDiceClay]

No idea. I'm just throwing out bulletpoints for someone to do all the hard work and for me to chip in with Ken Barlow. Thats right. I honestly think they are going to kill Ken off on the special. I think for the 50th Anniversary, they are going to do a TNA-style car crash (or tram crash if you like) TV show. I expect a few old names returning and I think to create mass controversy, they will kill off Ken 50 years after his debut. You know where you heard it first.

[Kata Ha Jime]

No idea. I'm just throwing out bulletpoints for someone to do all the hard work and for me to chip in with Ken Barlow. Thats right. I honestly think they are going to kill Ken off on the special. I think for the 50th Anniversary, they are going to do a TNA-style car crash (or tram crash if you like) TV show. I expect a few old names returning and I think to create mass controversy, they will kill off Ken 50 years after his debut. You know where you heard it first.

 

I wish they'd kill his Mrs.

[Sym]

This reminds me of a massive bugbear of mine! Why the hell do people lap up spoilers for soaps? The shows tell the papers what's going to happen and it's all over the shop! I've known about this tram storyline for months! Surely it would be better to surprise people with deaths and stuff like that? Why do people accept it? Why damn it?!?

[Magnum]

Slightly off topic, but at my daughters christening I got two very odd comments. My little brother said I looked like a supply teacher and the DJ at the party said I looked like John Stape from Corrie although he said 'you look like that pedo teacher from Corrie' but I knew who he meant....I wasn't happy.

 

You should have pointed out that Rosie was actually 17 at the point when Stapey stole away her innocence and condemned her to a lifetime of Carry On-style acting and being furiously wanked over by a nation of Nuts readers, and thus fair game. You would have then exacted the world's tiniest measure of revenge for the slight.

 

No idea. I'm just throwing out bulletpoints for someone to do all the hard work and for me to chip in with Ken Barlow. Thats right. I honestly think they are going to kill Ken off on the special. I think for the 50th Anniversary, they are going to do a TNA-style car crash (or tram crash if you like) TV show. I expect a few old names returning and I think to create mass controversy, they will kill off Ken 50 years after his debut. You know where you heard it first.

 

I don't know. When they tease an extra 'mystery' victim in these things it's usually the equivalent of Animal turning up as a mystery tag team partner, i.e it's an utterly disposable character who people have forgotten is even in the programme. My guess is Trevor the bin man will be seen making a triumphant return to the Wetherfield rubbish collection-route minutes before the tram ride from hell explodes onto the Street.

[Dashing]

I have no idea how a sweepstake works so I'll pick....EDIT - I did say Norris but I'm not sure.

 

You make a good point about Ken dying. There would be an added dimension to it too because he'd go to the grave with the secret that he saw Nick lengthing Leanne in that shit new ponce bar.

[Kata Ha Jime]

I guess make a list of who has who and update it as and when people chip in.