Astro Hollywood

"You were certainly front of the queue when God was handing out breasts, or mammary glans."

Christ, the Chyna doc made me so sad I wished I hadn't watched it. I truly hope her "manager" and director never find a moment's peace.

3 hours ago, jazzygeofferz said:

He must be hoping for more coverage from @Astro Hollywood

Ironically, he blocked me after an old video I tweeted of him being a daft racist got big numbers.

Vein on his head the size of Big Omar's wanger.

[Hillbilly Jim talking about every penis he's ever seen, in enormous detail, even though he wasn't aroused by them]

29 minutes ago, wordsfromlee said:

Then when I told the doctor my date of birth he immediately said "that was a Wednesday" like he was fucking Rain Man or something.

He was throwing it around in a hastily-deleted post from his Instagram last week.

In less depressing news, last week's GQ interview with Knoxville is delightful: https://www.gq.com/story/johnny-knoxvilles-last-rodeo

Here's a couple more things I've done recently. Note I have gone all pro YouTuber with proper thumbnails and shit. Hope they don't make me box Logan Paul, as I can't be arsed.

Spiral the film is worse than Spiral the rapper from Big Brother 7. I thought it was meant to be a good, smart version of the Saw films, with Chris Rock instead of people you've never heard of, but instead, it's a worse, dumber version. Amazing really. Plot holes everywhere, and a fucking clunker of a script, filled with "you have got to be kidding me!" lines you've heard 1000 times before. Hard avoid.

Got my first one on Monday morning, (Astra) and was fine until the evening, strutting around all cocky with only a minor dead arm. Then I suddenly got massively unwell; crippling headache, muscle pains everywhere, and shivering so badly, my teeth were clacking like in a cartoon. That went on for about 12 hours, with a horrible fever all night, followed by another day of still being quite lightheaded and ill. Fine now though.

From our @IANdrewDiceClay, one of the maddest things I've ever seen.

I can't stop looking at it. I just found it on Dailymotion and it's literally just a scaffold pole, no footholes, and he scrambles up like it's the rope in PE before Ray Stantzing back down.

1 hour ago, WyattSheepMask said:

More Barrymore for @Astro Hollywoodto pick apart 

 

Tragically, I've had a thing in the can for a while about that song, for a future post.

10 hours ago, marc2j said:

One of our scripted questions was to ask 'describe yourself in three words'.

Noel's House Party.

The greatest comic monologue ever written.

Best bit was when the reporter accidentally addressed the mother of one of Berkowitz's victims as "Mrs. Berkowitz" and she shouted at him. Horrifying. Bet he never slept through the night again.

What's wrong with hanging it out of the little bathroom window until it's dry, you bunch of la-di-da hooray henries?

Still can't get an appointment for anywhere within a remotely doable distance. No chance now they've chucked the young, spry 38 and 39 year olds in there too. Now it's just a toss up between whether old age gets me before Covid does.

I don't know if I hate or admire the brass neck of that bit where they matched the mispellings and everyone went

"Look at this, it's him!"

"Wow, I can't believe it. Shocked, mate."

"Blimey, not him. Right under our noses!"

And then didn't show who it was for, like, 15 minutes.

Fucking hell

8 hours ago, Chris B said:

The NHS site is now accepting bookings for 40+. It says 42 still, but if you put in your date of birth, it allows you to book. 

I'll have to wait until there's a vaccination centre in the same fucking county. I can't be going 50 miles for it.

9 minutes ago, Devon Malcolm said:

https://www.bafta.org/media-centre/press-releases/statement-29-4-2021

My thoughts are with @Astro Hollywood in this difficult time.

"My lawyers are watching you, bruv."

I imagine they're pretty busy with other stuff now, you cunt.

(note, I'm calling Noel Clarke a cunt, not Devon)

51 minutes ago, Thunderplex said:

Watched this earlier and thought I’d tuned into an episode of Bargain Brits in Benidorm.

 

Still Game (2002)