Accident Prone

My earliest memory of soap spoilers being plastered around every newspaper and tillpoint magazine was when Little Mo twatted Evil Trev with an iron. Not even Trevor's eventual death in an explosion got the same press. 

Much better episode than last week in my opinion. The finish of the cage match was odd (just like the build) but the entrances and crowd reaction put it over the edge. Would love to see what Rosa and Britt can do with a gimmick match on PPV, without the time restraints.

Cheers for the reccs, lads! Much appreciated!

Fuck, I haven't thought about Dynasty Warriors in about fifteen years! I used to play that on an old girlfriend's PS2 all the time back then. I'll have to look into the series, see what's up these days. I'll check out that Final Fantasy too, that sounds like a good laugh.

I think I'm still going to test my patience with a proper Dark Souls game as well, but only for a bargain price. I'll see what pops up on the next Xbox sale or if I find one in the wild.

2 hours ago, Onyx2 said:

Elden Ring is definitely more forgiving as you are rarely stonewalled. And I'd be amazed if you can't get a deal on Elden Ring by early Summer. If you have access to a Sony machine I'd suggest God of War in that vein, which I didn't adore but I seem to be in the minority.

Oops sorry, when I talked about the RRP I was talking about the Series X itself. Whenever I see one go on sale it's at the full whack price, followed by all the bellends on eBay who are selling them on for profit. 

Junior is at an age now where he can sleep in his cot by himself in the evening, which usually gives us three hours of spare time before bed. This also means that console gaming in the living room is now back on! The missus has expressed an interest in Elden Ring and that's relit my interest in getting a Series X, but I've got a feeling it's going to be at RRP level (or above) for a couple more years, maybe even more, so that's off the table.

So as a Dark Souls newb, what would be a good choice to play in the meantime? I've played Souls-like games (eg Salt And Sanctuary and Blasphemous), but I've never gotten along with the parrying/strategic elements as I just want to hack'n'slash. I was looking at Dark Souls Remastered but I'm open to any suggestions.

Excalibur beer from Lidl for me, reason being they rarely ID'ed there and it was cheap as chips. As you can probably guess, it tasted like cat's piss. We drank a fuck ton during our little post-prom camp-out in a mate's backgarden, with people getting sick behind their tents and into flower pots. As soon as we looked good enough to be in pubs (or in our case, befriended people who were actually old enough to be in a pub) it was Magners. Two or three bottles and I was a fucking gonner.

Weirdly enough, I don't look back on the underage drinking days with the same fondness as others do, as my real alcohol-fueled fun and mayhem began when I turned 18 and had a ton of disposable income from my first fulltime job. Most of the ugliest and funniest drunk memories come from before a change of the law in 2010*, when pubs would happily pour you a Snakebite and clubs were able to operate with some sort of "All You Can Drink" gimmick. Once that stopped, so did the sense of derring-do.

*I've searched high and low but struggled to find any concrete info on this, but I swear something did change in the law (at least in Birmingham/West Midlands) which meant clubs and pubs suddenly got a lot more conservative with their drink promotions.

I think there's lines and layers to stag-dos. I can't be doing with strippers and lap dancing clubs and any shit where the stag is forced to drink after they've clearly had enough. I've been on a few where there's been a gentleman's club in the schedule and I've always ducked out beforehand. Costumes, japes, pranks and making sure the stag doesn't pay for anything, that's the balance me and my circle have.

When in Prague for my mate's stag (the worst he had to put up with was dressing up as Mrs Doyle for a pub crawl), we were in Burger King for some lunch, and we watched in bemusement/horror as this massive UK stag group came tumbling down the street. Must've been twenty of them, all with matching tshirts and nicknames on the bag like "CLIT MUNCHA" and "DICK HAMMER", in broad daylight. They took over the outside patio of this pub, where one of them fainted and the other guys took turns wapping their nutsacks across his face. At lunch time.

I hope I've not painted myself and my friends as those sort of "LADS LADS LADS, SHOW US YOUR TITS LUV, LADS LADS LADS" hooligans, as it's quite the opposite. Probably a bad idea for a thread, to be honest.

Yeah, I'm really glad that I stuck through the first couple hours of rage, because it's a story that I love to tell now (there's a ton more detail in the full version of events too, including myself holding up the flight for ten minutes because I had the shits in the cabin toilet). I've still got the pink tux, covered in permeant marker scrawlings, that weaves the tale of the weekend. 

1 hour ago, Hannibal Scorch said:

All my stag do's were much tamer then that. Mine was a Tinky Winky Teletubby costume which I had to wear the whole night. Joke was on them, I love the colour purple. We got created for the stag of my best mate. Bought him Medium sized clothes to wear (he was an XL) and bought two squares of Red Carpet which we no more nailed a pair of his shoes on to as one of his requests was he wanted to walk a red carpet. 

Ha, that's great stuff!

11 minutes ago, neil said:

Many UK stag-do's just sound like doing the nastiness shit imaginable and then weirdly going "I love you mate, I'm made up for your wedding with Stace...sorry about the broken leg, face tattoo and police record for indecency. Bit of a giggle tho weren't it?"

The yanks seem to have a much better approach to it, where the Bachelor is treated like a king and it's all about friendship, love, happy memories and all that bollocks.

The one thing that me and my friends do to offset the typical UK stag style of humiliation, is making sure the stag never pays for anything. I had two stag-dos, and never paid a penny across both of them. Almost makes up the degradation.

Almost.

I love a good stag-do story. Here's a tale of shithousery that was inflicted upon myself during my stag in 2019.

The stag destination was Berlin for a few days in the summer. One mate was driving there early (he hates flying and will drive/sail whenever he can instead of flying) so he was hauling our bags there to dodge all the luggage fees and make our trip easier, with plans to meet in the Berlin airport car park and go from there. He came to my house a few days beforehand, took my bags and left. Fantastic, I thought. Great plan.

The day of the flight, the rest of us meet in a pub in town. I had a messenger bag with me for my wallet, phone and passport, but everything else (including chargers, headphones, a grooming kit, hangover cures, most of my travel cash, countless pairs of boxers, socks, shirts, and jeans) were with the mate who was driving. One by one, all the stag attendees started arriving WITH their luggage. We're talking multiple bags for a long, messy weekend. They played it off with various excuses but a sinking feeling started to hit. I put it off as mere pre-stag nerves.

Then the shit started rolling downhill. The lads, lovely fellas y'see, had handmade me a pink denim tux with unicorns and rainbows sewn on, with tons of glitter and gems for added effect, for me to wear on the plane! A great start, as I'm waltzing my way through the pub, then the airport, then the plane, then Belgium airport looking like I was heading to a Brony convention.

So we fly out, land in Berlin and meet my driving mate in the car park. I ask for my bags so I can dump my passport. A huge grin grows on his face. He hasn't got my bags. Here I am in a busy Berlin airport, looking like the Milky Bar Kid's nonce uncle, and I've just found out that I haven't got any clothes, essentials or wash gear. I was PISSED. Everyone laughed.

We hop in his car and drive to the hostel and I am raging in the back seat. I've never been this angry in my life. My mate tells this story of the car breaking down and having to lighten the load by leaving my bags at the side of a road. Everyone is having a good time, except myself who is FUCKING PISSED. I'm furiously texting my fiance, "Fuck this bullshit! I'm coming home!". We arrive and I'm pacing in the hostel lobby, having a mini-panic attack. One of my mates walks over, he's the sweetest lad who ever walked the Earth. He leans in and says, "Don't worry about your bags, they're actually in the boot". Evil fucking genius.

I calm down a little. "I'll play along, they'll hand me my bag later & we'll all have a right laugh. Sorted". Twenty minutes later, my wife-to-be messages me. She's called up the driver mate's missus. She has confirmed that my bag is sat in his house, on his kitchen table, back in jolly old England. It's a fucking nightmare. I'm full-on bellowing in the lobby now. I'm sat in a peado's Canadian tuxedo in a foreign country with no cash or clothes or essentials. In my head, I was fucked.

After I had settled down over several pints, we all exchanged hugs & kisses and I finally accepted my grim fate. I still have no bags though. I had to wear that pink tux everywhere for three days (with the exception of night two, where they stuck me in a Chyna costume for a local wrestling show that Doug fucking Williams was on). They bought me new underwear for the trip (albeit women's underwear), which meant I walked around like I had haemorrhoids.

Great shithousery.

On 3/5/2022 at 6:12 PM, Nick James said:

Loud cars, loud fucking cars! They drive me insane, we live on a main road and at least once or twice a night, some dickhead flies up the road revving the bollocks off of whatever piece of shit car they are driving, waking both kids up.

Loud cars went out with the Max Power magazines, anyone driving them in 2022 are clearly making up for shortcomings in other areas.

Be careful now, I've been accused of being 'classist' for moaning about this. Apparently this hobby is big with poverty-stricken breadline teenagers, and moaning about the loud bangs and revs going off constantly down the A38 at night makes you a Tory.

Apparently.

12 hours ago, Chest Rockwell said:

I don't know if it's unpopular everywhere, but it certainly is on this forum - Over the last couple evenings I stuck on Scrubs in the background on Disney+ whilst working and I think it's still pretty decent, as I did watching it the first time out many years ago.

There's a MASSIVE decrease in quality after the highs of the first four seasons. Season 5 still carries the last actual good episode/arc with;

but the signs of characters bending to fit the stories, and a haphazard, slapdash approach to the actual comedy marks that season as the end of the road. Every other season after that is a bigger dogshit pile than the last, right through to it's bitter end.

Hell, even the much-loved season 3 falls short for myself nowadays because the writers throw a Russo-riffic curveball at the end that makes subsequent rewatches a chore (that in itself is related to JD's quick progression from 'awkward, self-centered nice guy' to 'selfish, self-pitying wanker'. The sheer amount of cunty behaviour on his part is astounding, and we're still expected to sympathise with and root for him).

Believe it or not, despite all the above, I sill love the show even if most of it is nostalgia (my Scrubs code is 21435678....9). I won't watch it on Disney Plus as they removed most of the copyrighted soundtrack, but I'll still delve into the first five tomes on DVD every few years.

Having sex first thing in the morning without brushing your teeth, having a swig of water and having a slash beforehand

2 hours ago, 69MeDon said:

The Mirror, too. I guess they all discovered that nuclear weapons strike simulator map last night or something.

 

Well that's the Asda Clapham Junction Superstore fucked then.

1 hour ago, Chilly McFreeze said:

People who eat one thing at a time off their plate are weird honestly. I know people who eat all their fries before they touch their burger. Insane.

20 hours ago, simonworden said:

This is something that used to irk me when I worked in hospitality. Should items such as beans be replaced from a meal or the only option simply be to not have it? I'm sure you're more reasonable but I've had customers ask for beans/egg to be replaced with extra bacon and others who simply want to rebuild a menu. All looker shocked when you can't bend over backwards for them. 

14 hours ago, King of Hamptons said:

This! 

As a Former Chef it would piss me off when people would bring checks in with low cost items replaced by the expensive stuff (bacon, sausages) 

Had to tell the waitresses that this wasn't allowed. Once had some one try and order 5 sausages instead of beans, 2 pieces of toast , mushrooms and one of their eggs. 

As Duke mentioned above, it would always be like for like. Just means a few more mushrooms thrown into the mix. I want rid of the beans and tomatoes first and foremost, because I'm a nutter for food getting soggy and different sauces mixing. I just will not have it, so anything else is merely a bonus.

On another facet of the fry-up, who else employs the "a little bit of everything HAS to go on the fork" technique? Nothing better or more satisfying than squeezing every element onto the prongs and sloshing down each mouthful with a glug of coffee. Toast and fried bread is obviously an outlier, and that can be taken in-between the mouthful of food and the beverage if necessary.

31 minutes ago, air_raid said:

That’s nothing, I’m a terrible picky eater so I literally only want bacon, sausage, black pudding, and a bread or potato product is fine too. Eggs, beans, tomato, mushrooms… disgusting.

Good call on the tomatoes! I'll usually settle for either no beans or no tomatoes because I don't want too many cigarette burns on my face, and is why I usually get the wife to order for me. A good man always hides behind his woman, and a better man will use his speech impediment as an excuse,

Not a fandom but more of a hobby, I've found the online communities around the hacking of consumer electronics to be incredibly friendly and helpful. Occasionally you'll ask a question and some knob will huff "please refer to the pinned Q&A" but they're just in a mood because they're the one who tirelessly wrote the Q&A. In fact most online forums based around the high seas tend to be made up of lovely folk steering you in the right direction.

As far as the worst? Wrestling. I mean, c'mon you've got everything. Toxic negativity, toxic positivity, concern trolling, doxxing, racism, misogyny, sexism, homophobia, suicide baiting, nonces, perverts, abusers and people who watch AEW DARK: ELEVATION.

I love getting a fry-up from local cafes and bars because I get to see the look of horror on the server's face when I ask for the beans to be replaced with literally anything else. No space on my fry-up plate for bland ol' beans taking up valuable real estate.

If that's not enough to get me kicked out on my arse, asking for BBQ sauce instead of brown sauce or ketchup usually seals the deal. Obviously I'll begrudgingly take ketchup if no BBQ sauce is available because brown sauce is over-hyped English mush.

If I had a bit more wit, charisma and know-how (and a lot more free time), I'd love to stream myself tackling straight line missions across Fallout 4 or GTA 5. That's the next big LETS PLAY gimmick right there.

That episode was great but maybe it's because I've been so down on the show lately that it was a nice surprise. Opening segment, Punk/MOX tag and Hangman/Archer were home runs, Keith Lee looked great (no idea why (I didn't see his Tennis Skirt WWE run so it was great to see him back), the women's division is being well built, and the door is open for workrate Omega to crash in and be like "What the fuck Adam, why the fuck is Jay back". Hell yeah.

Cheers lads, I'll defimnitleyt be taking a look at those! Right up my alley, the lot of them. Samus Returns is already installed which is a win.

47 minutes ago, Merzbow said:

In case you can't find some games.. https://3ds.hacks.guide/

Oh, Merz. You know me all too well! That's my evening sorted then...

I've been handed-down a 2DS from the sister-in-law. Anyone got recommendations for smaller, lesser-known platformers and the like? It's come with the usual Mario and Zelda heavy hitters pre-installed which is great but I'd still like to play around with some other Nintendo exclusives (or anything that isn't already available on the VITA).

My great bronze-winning effort in the women's getting shattered by my poor performance in the men's. Bloody typical. Excellent stuff as per, Glen! 

The 2000 Trees line-up looks INCREDIBLE but I've resigned myself to the fact that I'll only go if I win some tickets in their newsletter draw or get lucky on the lottery. Always up for any chance to see the The Get-Up Kids and Thrice in one weekend, so fingers crossed.

Anyone off to the postponed Funeral For A Friend gigs next month? The shows have been pushed back so many times now that I've lost any motivation to go and see them! Feels like decades ago that I bought the tickets.

1 hour ago, HarmonicGenerator said:

Years later, I discovered the truth behind the kayfabe.

There was no Mrs Green. There was no shopping trip. The winner was predetermined (always the house that hadn't won Sports Day or got the most house points that year). The whole thing was just a way of getting an easy summer afternoon in that kept the whole school busy.

 

Although not as devious as that, whenever the whole year group would come together to run a pageant/sports day/jumble sale/charity drive/weekend mass, each pupil would usually be awarded one house point during the following week's assembly. The headmaster would do a big old rally, talking up how great we were, then would shout, "EVERYONE...GETS..ONE HOUSE POINT EACH!" and we'd react like we were on the set of Fun House.

This happened all the time; everyone would cheer like all their hard work was justified despite the fact that the standings were still the same. Everyone got a point so there was no actual movement in the house rankings. What a scam.

17 hours ago, scratchdj said:

For every “off the shelf” retro console, I’ve yet to find anything that’s better or simpler to use/setup than a raspberry Pi. It’s a common trend for non-technical folk to believe setting one is beyond them, but it really is a case of downloading a file, putting it on an SD card and putting it in the Pi.

Yep, it's an incredibly simple process and the sheer amount of reputable help sites means that most issues can be ironed out from the get-go. They get a bad rep (and rightfully so) but searching any issue along with the term "reddit" will usually give you the best possible answer within a few clicks.