Mr Butternut Squash

Balls?

I've said it before but I love Taz and his garbled rambles, shit jokes and weird obsessions. He clearly can't be fucked with these ONO PPV's and would rather spend the time winding up Tenay (who does himself no favours). Him burying Rubix on the Xdivision PPV was a classic. I can understand why people hate him, and if I cared about TNA he'd probably do my head in, but he's a highlight for me. He has no grasp of what his characters meant to be anymore and isn't arsed enough to fix it. Just seeing him nodding and pouting into the middle distance whenever there's a hardshot of the announce desk is enough to crack me up.

I thought the Jokers Wild thing was alright. I enjoyed it more than the last few weeks of Impact, although, admittedly, I watched it a bit tipsy. The face /heel dynamics were completelty fucked up. I mean you had Jesse playing the goofy show-off stooge and babyface in peril in the same match. Watching Kid Kash and Doug Williams kick the shit out of him was fun. Joseph Park is one of the few babyfaces I have time for and he was the MVP of the night (that backstage skit with Chris Daniels was the first time I disliked him though.) Gutted Taz never got to buy his side-car

He's bigger than Mick ain't he? He's certainly more physically intimidating. He shouldn't be 'taking a beating' or doing Samoan bumps.

Ideally, alone at first until he's established. There's already a heel group. Then eventually he can brainwash some fools to join him and his odd manifesto.

I adore Bray but I do wonder where he'll fit in. Dean Ambrose is similarly psychotic but doesn't have a gimmick that ties his hands. I'd be interested to see where Wyatt goes once the gimmick runs dry. Him squashing fuckers is great. But seeing him do backflips to sell clothslines from Chris Jericho like he did on NXT doesn't suit him.

Look forward to Neville coming up. If he carries on like he has on NXT he'll get over instantly. Paige and AJ along with a Natalya push could even get me interested in the divas.

Nice thread. Looking forward to checking out some of the stuff posted. I'm weird with films, totally hot and cold. Haven't watched anything in several months but probably go on another binge next week.

Ones I've seen recentish and liked are House (Japan 1977) which is a bonkers haunted house farce. Suspira meets Scooby Doo with added kung fu and boobs and people turning into bananas. The bit where one of the schoolgirl visitors to the house gets eaten by a piano is one of the funniest, creative and most absurd things I've seen.

Also enjoyed Where Is the Friends Home? (Iran 1987) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kd79e0UIuM0. It's one of them 'nothing really happens' films but it's nice and breezy and charming enough to get on with. It's the day in the life of a young kid who's trying to return a schoolbook to his mate but keeps being met with obstacles (them pesky Grown Ups). You follow him through the town of Koker through the labyrinth of alleys, stairwells and gorgeous washed out slum walls. Koker was the films biggest star for me. None of the actors are trained so there's the realness and a warmth that illuminates the mundane. Just a simple tale of friendship that I found a pleasure to sit through after a days slog.

What I liked most is the way Bryan managed to look so dangerous in that match, relentlessly going at his leg. The Thesz Press reversal into the half crab was a great little moment. It's a shame Ryback stopped selling the leg by the end. Still a Match of the year candidate easily. Smackdown's been shockingly good for two weeks running, with intriguing matches and progression and stuff. The worse thing about it was world champ Ziggler being the one tapping out in a match that involved Zeb, Ricardo AND Swagger. Just gonna have to except that he's the new world US champ I guess. The segment with the Shield promo and the Bryan beat down was put together beautifully. Some menacing shit.

Lex looked like a god in the late 80's before the roids started to age him. He was always a decent hand and over as fuck to boot. People (i.e. WWE bods) seem to dismiss him as a bit of a joke but not everyone can be pushed as the new Hulk Hogan and pull it off. I enjoyed him most as the cocky young stud trying to get his boot in the door by joining the Horsemen and dazzling everyone with his crazy physique.

For me BOTH Ambrose and Reigns are future stars. There hasn't been anyone who's come along that has that kind of star quality in years. Ambrose is glorious and is one of those guys that adds little touches - the way he pounded the mat in frustration after getting dropped by Kofi Kingston or the maniacal grin that lit up his face when he realised Ryback was no-selling his chops - just spontaneous little things that too few blokes do. I don't think the 'wackiness' is much of problem because 1. he's not that wacky. 2. he's bloody good at it. Watching him being presented as a near equal to the Undertaker on smackdown warmed my heart. I just love the fucker. He's all my favourite bits about wrestling in one droopy, dreamy package. Future world champ at least.

Reigns looks godlike. They should keep him in black. When he was wearing a pair of little pants on FCW he didn't really stand out as much. I love that Superfly gone sinister chop/thrust thing he does. He's a good talker too even though his cool, calm style isn't best suited for the Shield promos. I'm looking forward to a feud with Sheamus.

It's alternative innit.

So I spent a bored Sunday writing a sloppy 'jazzy' indie pop thing that's (vaguely) about my favourite wrestler ever

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ifm6si5Ie34

Cesaro vs Neville was awesome. Spotty yet grounded. Cesaro is one of the those guys that looks big time in small settings but is unable to project himself in big time arenas. I though Pac killed him with that hurricarana/bomb thing. Big E/Maddox was a fun squash. I hope they change back to E's old theme when he turns face (which he should, the 'five' thing is fun), that is a mega tune. I'd like to see Maddox appear more as a jobber guy on Raw, he's pretty funny and just so different to everyone else.

I know everyone seems to hate her but I love AJ whenever she's not general managing. Her match with Kaitlyn was good whenever AJ was on offence. I don't usually bother with divas, is Kaitlyn ever any good? She looked terrible here whilst the Neidhart girl is going to waste. I miss Eve.

The crowd were pretty fucking harsh on Bo Dallas this week for some reason ("no more Bo!"). Poor bloke. He's not all that but he's not that bad.

Emma's a lot of fun yeah. I liked her slightly Kristen Wiig-esque awkwardness at the beginning of her promo on the last episode too.

 

I'm actually really nervous about Bray Wyatt being called up. I love it when a wrestler is completely immersed in their character, and with Wyatt every second on screen is full of little touches and mannerisms that your more mediocre wrestlers never quite seem to pick up. It's the same qualities Mark Henry has developed slightly later on in his career during his ascent to becoming fucking excellent.

 

With Wyatt obviously the promos are magic, but on top of them I love that the whole act is so complete. The way he absolutely hurls himself into opposite corner before going for his running splash, the unpredictable and erratic shifts in intensity, his odd movement around the ring, the trash talk, the dancing, the forehead kiss... everything. My favourite bit from his Yoshi Tatsu squash was Wyatt doing his pre-match stretches and bending over backwards so he could stare at Yoshi upside down. Such a simple five second thing but it adds another little layer of batshit mental to the character.

 

I'm not entirely sure what I want to see him do on the main roster but I'm definitely invested in it and I will be gutted if he's not successful.

I feel the same way. It's a shame that Fandango has seemingly taken his finisher even though it makes sense, him being a dancer and all that. Hopefully he'll put his own twist on whatever else they give him.

Another drinking song. Rub It Out And Start Again.

https://soundcloud.com/bad-little-kittens/r...out-start-again

New Camera Obscura. It's always gutting when your favourite band in the universe start being less good. The guitar sound is awful. Yet Tracyanne can spin any shit into gold.

I prefer the WWF one too. Admittedly cos of nostalgia but also that drum roll thing at the beginning. Sounds indeed like someone 'big time' is about to step through. The originals intro is great too of course but too quite for a wrestling theme. I love the added horns in the background of the DUM DUM DUMMMMM bit as well.

Tanahashi vs Okada was a bit good weren't it? I was disappointed with their last match but not only was this their best but it beats Tanahashi vs Suzuki as my fav New Japan match since I began following it last year. Okada is somebody that's been fun to watch rising to the top but I was sceptical about him being a guy to base the company around. But there was little moments here that won me over. He's selling, screams of pain and that great moment when he was trying to do some submission thing but couldn't quite flip over for the bridge until after several tries and when he finally succeeded his response of some smug smile, as if to say, "yeah, i know what I'm doing. Fuck you." (I love the way NJ fans react to botches by just laughing at the wrestlers). The focus on the arm was a welcome touch and is what put this match over the edge. Would have loved it even more if that noisy berk on the LAW podcast didn't spoil the result.

The other stuff on the PPV was decent too. Yuji Nagata/Hirooki Goto v. Kazushi Sakuraba/Katsuyori Shibata was shaping up to be a goodun before getting stopped for injury. Poor Sak, that looked nasty. Not sure why they've turned Devitt heel, he seemed to be gaining a lot of support. Him leaving the arena on that big guys shoulders with the lucha mask twisted up on his face was an amusing visual (him calling Tanahashi a 'dickhead' the other month was funny as well). Yano is always entertaining and Minoru Suzuki is my favourite guy in the company, just look at his face . .

Its wonderful. Scary, tough and funny all at once. I enjoyed their match together although they've had better. Looking forward to the Suzuki/Okada feud. I can't stand Davey Boy jnr but he's no doubt improved as a 'worker' and his match with Shinsuke was quality. Nakamura has the best theme in wrestling today. New Japan is top fun to watch at the moment.

"That move was . . . puzzling! What do think of that one then Tenay? RUBIC! RUBIC! RUCBIC! "

Tazz is so fucking terrible I can't help but love him and his weird shite jokes.

This is great news

Ohno hasn't done too much for me yet but I can see the potential. I like to imagine that he's some kinda Mick Foley/Richard Kuklinski hybrid. Pac is an exciting edition, would like him in a tag team again. Bray is fucking Bray and Bray is fucking awesome.

That champions show sounds wicked. I'm really looking forward to Big E/Maddox for some reason. It's always amusing to see Big E still working face to a crowd that know better. There has to be at least one title change. Neville coming up as champ would be cool if only WWE acknowledged NXT existed. Rollins v Cory Graves next week looks interesting too. But again, two heels? Odd.

Promising times for WWE.

Nicked from another board. I want one.

2007. I remember the the nice tribute they did on Raw. She's a legend, I love Moolah.

Perfect for TNA then amarite?!

Come on, he don't look THAT bad. He looks as bad as he's suppose to. Having him talk was stupid. That segment with him Storm and Hogan was great though. When Storm cut off depressed sympathetic AJ with his DERP DERP shit I was wanting to punch him but he turned it around in the end. I don't think I've enjoyed Hogan this much since the old NWO days.

The other good part of Impact was the Bully/Brooke bit at the end. He got the crowd behind Brooke he's such a monumental bellend. (I don't mind Brooke actually. She's no Elizabeth but still quite likeable.)

The rest of Impact was disappointing. Don't care for the Gut Check shite or the new convoluted X Division. Ref Joey Ryan got old after the first pin attempt and was a daft way to start the show. Don't know why Anderson and Chavo keep being given live mics. Next week looks good mind.

Last week's Saturday morning slam

 

with the dazzler stealing the show on commentary

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v96d9NLMaFs

The best of Bryan's bear fetish. The guy just keeps on giving.

I despise Mr Anderson but I missed his initial WWE run and I always hear people saying he could have been a major star which sounds absurd to me. But I'm watching a youtube clip now of his first promo after getting drafted to Raw, and shit, he's pulling it off. He was definitely more into it then and the crowd are eating it up. He was set for a mega push in wwe before he fucked up weren't he? He's probably never gotten over that.